All Comments on 'A Gift From His Father Ch. 27'

The pacing and the content of the ch was much better than the last one

It's obvious since the first parts of this story that someone is doing proofreading for you on the grammar and spelling, which is good. It's not as painful to read any more. However, you still need to work on your style. I suggest reading your stories out loud, so you avoid phrases like 'Mark stepped inside and Mary closed the door and gave Mark a hug', which reads like it was written by a child. I didn't think the story benefitted at all from switching between the various different plot lines, if anything it was confusing because of the number of different characters. I think it's fine to focus on one plot line at a time and come back to others in subsequent chapters.

Looking forward to more of this story!

This story is starting to turn into game of throne (and I don't mean that as a good thing) with all of the random plots and characters popping up and others disappearing, and most of them don't seem to be actually doing anything....

I hope that all of you are aware that Literotica has an international following. That is one of the things I enjoy about it. That being said you should also know that there are subtle differences in English spelling between say American English and English in Great Britian. They are usually around the uses of the letters "s" and "z" and words like color and colour.

It seems to me that this was kinda rushed. You have a lot of stuff happening at once. Then you are jumping from one thing to the next and then right back like two paragraphs later. It's kinda of confusing when you do that. I have to really think before I would rate this.

hope you continue this,very entertaining.

It's a surprised how there are many characters already in chapter 27 it is hard for me to remember but I'm curious about how the author do remember about their personalities and life and how he came up about the five rings and how special they for people that wore them and about mind control that demonstrated very well. There were some mistakes in the first few chapters but cause of his friend or buddy that helped him to edit it became more easier to understand what he's writing and the story's status

came for the smut. stayed for the story.

the character development is good and i am definitely on the edge of my seat to find out what happens next

This is the best yet, I could not stop reading. There has been just the right amount mystery and sex to keep your intrest. I can not wait till the next chapters are submitted. Please keep up the great story

Cannot wait for the next chapter.. In fact I feel I have waited long enough :)

Just joking .. but hurry up... lol..

Now the plot thickens as the two other ring-bearers may have been located... Go team JSE...

Thanks for all your inquires. I am working on the next chapter. I am sorry that I can't write faster. Honestly, I am curious about how the next chapter unfolds, too.

Since we are confessing, (I am at least), I don't have any control over how the characters behave. John has simply some how given me insight into all their various behaviors, so then was given the task to record their story. Perhaps it is real time and that is why the delay. I don't know. I wish I could provide a time when the next chapter will be posted. All I can say is that it will be in the month of February.

Watch this space.

This story could've been really great, if not for the atrocious spelling/grammar and just plain incorrect use of many words. Curious if you're a native English speaker? Please, please get another proofreader! It's almost painful to read at times. Still don't give up, your imagination is brilliant.

When is the next chapter ?

Impatiently awaiting new awesome chapters

I have finally completed Chapter 28. It still needs my editor to look it over and provide feedback. That's the good news. The bad news is this process may still take a week or two. Sorry!

But, it will be worth the wait. So hang in there! It won't be long now!

Very glad to hear it! I can't wait.

The story's a lot more readable now that you've got an editor.

Thanks.

Evan is a rapist, the sex between mother and daughter is gross and unnecessary. Your use of words to describe some of the women is really, really irritating (dyke-lesbian, whore-slut, etc.)). That ish is so irritating because both words used mean the same phuqing thing! For having so may upgrades, John's agents are dumb as all fired hell and I thought this mofo had LoJack on his operatives? The story is good and could be great (for me) if some of those things could be addressed. John's father is insane and tried to off him but now he's just fine? What the phuqing?!?

Don't like it? read something else or did you just jump on this chapter without reading the start? Evan is new and from the lead in I could tell he was going to be a problem for John. This story has many side plots and lots of interesting developments as it goes. Go back slow down and read for understanding, not just the sex. That is not what this story is all about even though there is lots of sex.

To Absolutely Wicked;

I have been reading this and enjoying it for the second time. The first time was back in 2012 so the story was not even close to this long and involved. PLEASE keep up the good work !

While I agree that Anonymous should stop reading if he/she isn't enjoying the story.

But they did make several good points for criticism. It's up to AWT to decide if they are positive or negative. The author seems to be improving from past critics!

The down side of writing extremely powerful characters (i.e. John and several Agents) is to create an interesting plot they have to make mistakes; grabbing the "idiot ball".

And though I don't care for incest, I can tolerate it in a story if it is done well; AWT missed the mark on this 1. John engaging in incest and forcing it on others seems lazy, there is only millions of other women in the world that aren't blood related.

It's too bad this story ends soon.

More than another year has passed since John's fortune grew past 50 million, ... you think JSE has over 100 million by now? And he has two of the four other ancient Rings of Power, what will he do with them, ... who might he find that would be worthy, ... And at the nudist camp, Jim's thoughts, seem to point to a scientific way to drain youth and energy into the older and richer club members, ... Lots of fun to be enjoyed in the next chapters, ... ;-) TTFN