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Let Me

bymisskittyclitty©
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by Anonymous

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by Rybka12/29/03

Perhaps you could sub-let?

The repetitiveness Of your title weakens your poem IMHO. You might begin to think along the lines of something like:

"Let me . . .
Be in your arms tonight,
laying close to you
Look into your eyes
and slowly drink you in

Let me. . .
Slide my hands tenderly
where they want to go
Feel your hardness
growing in my hand

Let me . . .
guide you into me
making us complete

Let me love you forever
my friend, my lover, my love."

Just a suggestion on how you might alter the words for impact.

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by James Kirkland07/08/04

Say it again

The previous comment on this poem is wrong. The repetition strengthens and re-inforces the emotion of the poem. His/Her alternative loses the effect, weakens the poem. Good work...

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