- All
Comments (4) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
Yes
God please write more. I need a second part, longer. I'm dripping
mmm
I got wet from the very start
oh yes
More please.. you have me wet and needing more
To me lesbians having sex is my ultimate turn on.
I love to watch porn about 2 girls going down on each other, scissoring, and kissing. Yes kissing is my biggest turn on. Seeing 2 girls kiss is the ultimate but they have to be using a lot of tongue and even sucking each other's tongue. And some day before I die I hope to witness this in person and hopefully join in but back to the story.
I appreciate Mr. Browneyes attempt to convey what happened but I feel he fell very short. I'm not trying to put you down like almost every other person that gives negative criticism and they are always listed as Anonymous because they just feel good about themselves by belittling others. As you can see I am not ashamed of putting my name as to what I am about to tell you. What I am doing is giving you constructive criticism and hope you see it as that. I have been reading many, many, many stories here maybe even thousands and there are many great authors and many good authors and a lot of authors like you that want to tell a story for what ever. I have not read your other 2 stories which I will do as soon as I am finished here. Now back to this story. Number one it was far to short, #2 you did not give any description of the girls and #3 you didn't give any description of the sex acts between each or all the girls and lastly #4 there is no story line just a bunch of sex. You don't have to go into great detail like some authors do because it gets boring after awhile, Just a little more detail. I would recommend that you spend a lot of time reading other authors stories and see how do it and then develop your own technique. I will be looking for your stories in the future to see how you are progressing . My comments are meant to be positive not negative and I apologize if I have offended you.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Truth or Dare or
More submissions by browneyesx3.