- All
Comments (5) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
Nice, But Limited
This piece is nice -- as far as it goes. But it doesn't go very far.
No offense; but, like many offerings here, it is more a vignette than a story. The vignette is over before a reader could be much aroused. It is more like a fragment of a story.
Storytelling involves character and plot development. It involves the building of dramatic tension. There should be something at stake for someone. (Unlike sex in real life, sex is all too easy in many works of erotica.) Typically, there is conflict (human versus human, human versus nature/environment, and/or human versus self).
Keep on writing, but make your works more ambitious.
un believable
Eight inch dick ...stunning blonde comes out of no where and fucks him... happens all the time.... un believable
nice and quick
It served it's purpose.....to get you off quick...
Leave the poor author alone.
This was a great story. Maybe it wasn't the most realistic but honestly it wouldn't have been as good if it was. The author is writing a short erotic story for his and everyone's enjoyment. I for one like a good fantasy. Trying to make this story more believable or longer would most likely have ruined it. It was short and to the point. But, damn, it was good.
More please
If not of this, more stories like this.
Perhaps he gets in the habit of fucking pretty girls in public.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Mystery Blonde or
More submissions by danielblue.