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English
Dickhead Responds!!!
Dear Honey,
You mean, them there medicines in my shitter's cabinet is fer jock itch? No wonder my hemorrhoids is still itching!
You still cummin' over Friday night? I gots this new porno movie we can watch together, called "Deliverance". 'Sposedly, some good ol' boys stick themselves a hot piece of ass!
-Big Papa Dickhead
PS Can ya bring yer own roll of TP? Mine's is almost gone, and I don't like to re-use it more than once or twice.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
I am TORN!!! Between wanting a date with you, and fear of becoming your LATEST dispatch from HELL! Regardless,,, you ARE as funny as anyone here!! Come to think of it, I WANT that date!! Won't EVEN try to pretend that I may be as cute, cuddly, or enthralling as "Dickhead", but I can promise you HELP in getting your sleeves freed up every now and again. PLEASE,,, let your Fans know if "Slobber DAWG" has some pups!!! Just so long as they DON'T look like "Dickhead"!! MORE!!! PLEASE!!!!
someone hand me a tissue, i need to wipe the tears
OMG!! My sides are hurting from laughing so hard!! Please tell me that this is not the end of SIR DICKHEAD? I feel like Iknow him already. Are you sure you can't reconsider? People change you know!! Well we can only hope in Dickhead's case LOL
Family fun
Glad my cousin finally got a girl of his own after sharing mine all these years. When is he bringing you over for my turn. You will be pleased to know I have a twin hole outhouse so you can puke and crap at the same time. I think I will put the whippets in to warm the bed ready.
superb writing
This had me laughing my ass off. I felt like I was right there on the date from hell. What a way to start the day, a great laugh from an excellent write. Kudos!
Redneck Sophistication Part 2
Have your car checked by EPA.
Your Romeo's slum pad was condemned as a hazardous waste site after toxic chemicals were found in the sewage system. It was later determined to be the result of his taking his annual shower.
I am now on oxygen.
I had thought that "Born Again Virgin" was the funniest thing I had ever read. Boy, was I ever wrong. The "Dickhead" stories literally have me in pain. The only thing that allowed me to sober up and regain control of my faculties was the long-suppressed memory of a guy who lived down the hall from me in my dorm one year in college. He was the brunt of all jokes, although he was blissfully unaware of it. It appeared that he thought we all avoided him because we were embarrassed to be seen with and compared to such a macho, irresistible paragon of male charm and desirability. It's nice to know that he did, in fact, finally score a date, since, if there is a God, there cannot possibly be TWO guys like him in this world!
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