Hey this is your third try. What can we expect? You show talent for story telling, but you need to really proof read. (ex. it's butts, or butt, not but.) It's a lot of little things like that which trip us up. Remember, the story must be something that could have happened. The dialogue should sound like something people say. (We don't always talk in complete sentences. Get'me Dude?) Don't get hung up on the beautiful model or the stud with the nine inch dick. They exist, but how many of us fall in the category? Google penis size--you'll be surprised by the results. If you must write about the beauty queen, at least give her a mole or birthmark someplace where it won't spoil her beauty for anyone except us readers.
Before you look up my Bio I admit I have a hard time following my own advice. Good Luck!
English
NOT AWFUL!
Hey this is your third try. What can we expect? You show talent for story telling, but you need to really proof read. (ex. it's butts, or butt, not but.) It's a lot of little things like that which trip us up. Remember, the story must be something that could have happened. The dialogue should sound like something people say. (We don't always talk in complete sentences. Get'me Dude?) Don't get hung up on the beautiful model or the stud with the nine inch dick. They exist, but how many of us fall in the category? Google penis size--you'll be surprised by the results. If you must write about the beauty queen, at least give her a mole or birthmark someplace where it won't spoil her beauty for anyone except us readers.
Before you look up my Bio I admit I have a hard time following my own advice. Good Luck!
Just seems a bit by the numbers and boring
Didnt do it for me, wasnt terrible, just no emotion, I found myself not caring about Ken or Donna.
where is your wife.
You too big of a loser to keep one?
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