that is a very hard decision to make when a loved one becomes like that. its the hardest on the one that still remembers who they are and have to watch as the one they love goes away from them in mind. that is so hard to see good writing
Why on earth did I read that? That was incredibly heartbreaking and you could only weep for Nathan - and yeah, I ended reading in tears. To think one day you could endure that from your spouse, without malice or contempt - purely innocent but no less destructive. Then her final words...
I don't know how you wrote that story, it was perfect, and empathetic and isolating and sad as hell.
This is going to sit in my head for the rest of the day. Well paced and a damn good read, worth every damn star I could give it.
by
Anonymous11/02/15
well done
My father was recently committed to an institution as he suffers from advanced Alzheimers. The scenario described is truthful in its pain and anguish. Watching one you love deteriorate is heartbreaking. Knowing when to give up is perhaps the hardest thing of all.
Thanks for the read.
by
Anonymous11/02/15
So Sad
One of the saddest and truest stories I have ever read. It broke my heart.
is one of the most terrible mental diseases known to men,it can only get worse,never better and in the end leaves the patient like a child with no memory not recognising family ,friends,husband or children
It is so heartbreaking reading well written storys like this one
5*****
I read the comments before I read the story. I should have just given this story 5 stars and walked away. I didn't, and now my allergies are acting up. Damn dust.
Bloody horrible story. Don't want to read anything like that again.
Oh, and it gets a five star
by
Anonymous11/02/15
sometimes you
just gotta walk away. That thing is not his wife. Seen it( diease) destroy families, and seeing her fuck another man, it is over.
by
Anonymous11/02/15
Thought Provoking
Great and different story. Deals with a difficult subject and one to certainly provoke some thought. Enjoyed that your story was absent of the same tired plot lines of strange car in the driveway, etc. Also noted there were no "bad guys" in your story. All were victims of varying degree.
I cared for my Father as best I could for nearly 15 years. Alzheimers is a bad way to go. The patient can be impossible to deal with. This story was uncomfortable. But that's not to say it wasn't a good story.
I face the same situation, sad to say. It has killed most of my older relatives. A bullet is much kinder. Plain fact.
when I heard about his Alzheimer's I felt differently. I recall reading an event wherein he was walking through his ranch house and espied a miniature of the White House. He was alleged to have looked at Nancy and said, "I know that has something to do with me, but I can't remember what it is."
Your story was so sad. It doesn't belong on a web site like this one. Then again, this web site does have an audience for this.
Thanks. I voted a five, but somehow it seems like the act of voting for something like this tarnishes it.
within the husband between his sworn duty in his vows for his wife, and his own mental health and self-respect. Knowing she was sick was the biggest part of the problem. Were her infidelity and faithlessness to him the result of choice or malice, that would be one thing. Having them result from her illness is quite another, and it amplifies the level if his inner turmoil exponentially.
Such a quandry, and it is understandable that exhaustion and familial strife would necessarily be a part of the package. Knowing that she was acting out of ignorance would be little or no balm to salve his wounded heart and mind.
Still...is divorce the right answer? It is entirely inappropriate for anyone but him to cast a material vote. The stakes involved are his own heart and mental well-being. Repeated exposure to ongoing heartache at the hands of one whom you love so deeply could in the end cost him in a myriad of ways: his health, sanity, emotional well-being, even his life. Nobody should envy him his situation - or hers - nor their family/children.
The woman who intervened - ever so lightly - did so in probably the best way possible in the circumstances, and her level of empathy, clarity, and moral character showed her in the light of a person wise in the ways of heart and mind.
I liked the say the author approached the story, and the tale was well told. I should have given it 5*, but slipped when clicking and it got only 4 - sorry.
A real story with powerful emotions. You wrote a concise and pointed tale. That's how it's done.
by
Anonymous11/02/15
sad tale
sad tale but so many times a true to life tale. what do you do when someone
you care for no longer knows who you are? do you just stop living and
wait till they die to live again? I try to remember who and what they were
before they went into their own little world .
by
Anonymous11/02/15
one wrong note
Here's a sentence at the start of the story:
I'm a cuckold, he thought to himself. I would've never imagined that possible.
Considering the context of the story, that his wife is suffering from Alzheimer's, this struck me as a bizarre thought to have. No doubt, some people may have such a thought, but nothing else in this story justifies it.
If anything, it only cheapens what the story is really about. The poor man is suffering from a disease-driven loss etc.(not a morally wayward partner) and he fully understands the circumstances.
Possibly the author wrote this as a way to introduce a moment of ambiguity into the story, followed by a 'twist' that the wife is in fact ill. The story is too short for this sort of twist. It would have been more than adequate to deal directly - and only - with the genuine suffering of people in these situations.
I don't think so. And I think that would be the last thing on the mind of a man in this situation. Despite that poor opening this is a very well written story of pain and loss. You really stuck the knife in us with Eva's desperate plea.
By the way the tags for this story are wrong; Eva is not a cheating wife, there is no betrayal in the story. As for adultery perhaps in the technical sense but not in any real way. I hope you can fix them.
for making me think so much. I've enjoyed your other works but this one made me think about Nathan and Eva and of the future possibilities and the sadness for their lost past life.
I wrote a sad story (Stone Cold) about a man losing his wife and not being able to deal with it. But your tale pulls on my heart strings more strongly. I think my character had the easier time of it.
I can read how Nathan feels and understand it logically but I can't begin to feel the depth of his misery. Your story made me slow down and think about Nathan and Eva's horrible situation. ESPECIALLY THE LAST LINE.
Thank you for what I consider one of the master pieces on this or any other site. Please continue writing and frequently.
Thanks
Woodmanone
by
Anonymous11/02/15
So sad so true life change crewl.
We live and die, this disease and cancer take a terrible toll.
Not anything I expected, some have done similar themes, and have scored quite high (qhml, dtversion, oshaw) but not quite like this. Alzheimer's is a brutal disease, and you captured that perfectly. Which means the story was quite sad.
Good piece of writing DFW but not too many more of these. 5*
by
Anonymous11/02/15
well dfwbeast
really erotic, thats precisely why I came to this page. to get more bad news
Was it cheating? Her mind is locked in the past. Her grip on reality is weak. What's a loving husband to do? She doesn't even recognize him. Sad really. Do you divorce her, knowing her condition? Does the phrase "In sickness and in health" apply here?
Talk about a sad, sad tear jerker. Well written and so, so frightening to us older folks especially. What the hell would you do in his shoes? Crap--not the story, just the idea of the pain involved in this loving relationship.
When she could no longer remain home by herself, I remember walking into my grandmother's room at the nursing home and she recognized my son right away yet she had no idea who I was. Plus for the last eight years of her life, I dealt with my mother's worsening dementia as her home caregiver. It's so sad to see someone you've loved all your life fading away mentally before your eyes. It has to be much worse when it's a wife.
While it's sad, this is a wonderfully written story.
by
Anonymous11/02/15
Powerful
And evocative.
Thank you for this food for thought.
reading the loving wives section as an anonymous, I finally became a member after reading this story. It touches me emotionally, even the story line is very well narated. I cannot agree with the protagonists decision, but understand it very well. I'm interested in the comments of the other well appreciated LW authors. I agree that this story doesn't belong on this site, but where can you otherwise publish it ? This is perhaps a fantasy for tde DFWBEAST, but it is very realistic in my life.
5 stars
Timely and brilliant, and so well written. It's evocative of what I understand former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor went through with her husband when he no longer knew who she was or that he had a wife. The effects of this disease are hideous and all too often unbearably long-lasting for everyone involved.
The question of adultery loses all impact at this point.
The problem of his suffering is grave and once she was put in an Institution it
was a rapid losing of his bond to her. This happens. My wife started in the end to call me Dad since from her point of view I am an old man and she is young. I do believe that we were lucky in that when it crept up on us we were both retired and had a reasonable amount put away. Therefore I have nurses 24/7 plus a lot of cuddling.
My day gets brighter when grabs my hand, pulls it up to her mouth and kisses it.
I thought this was very well written. The one part I did not understand was his statement:
"After the divorce is granted," he hoarsely whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "After the divorce is granted, I'll apply for an annulment."
I can understand the divorce. Maybe even not visiting ever again, but making the marriage as if it never existed? I just can't fathom this.
A grim little tale. I am surprised that mental institutions allow sex between inmates and more so when one or both is married! What kind of a fucked up world is this? Clearly they are not competent to make their own decisions - that is why they are there in the first place. Now, her husband, the most important person in her life is cut off from her and her care in the future. Is that in the best interests of the patient? If this is reality, it is horrible.
@sugna - It's a nursing home, not a mental institution.
@frazod - if you're catholic, you just can't get a divorce and get remarried. You have to pay to have the church annul your existing marriage first.
by
Anonymous11/02/15
What a depressing story
Not sure this site was the best spot for it. Certainly no fun to read about her loss of memory. And what was the annulment about? Was he Catholic and already planning to remarry? Did he feel he needed an annulment so he could be remarried in the Church? That seemed really odd. And having watched my Grandmother pass away under similar circumstances I'm here to tell you that they don't let their patients run around having sex with other patients. I guess that while this was well written, it simply wasn't entertaining. It felt completely out of place on a porn site. Not good.
I hold that committing to an institution is a way to speed up the loss of your
connection. Maintaining them at home and surrounding them with love makes
for personal satisfaction.
There was a movie with Julie Christie made in 2006 with a similar plot, based on a short story by Alice Munro titled "The bear came over the mountain". I mention this only to note that the plot here is actually very realistic. Very well done.
by
Anonymous11/03/15
Memories resurfaced.
I had to deal with two parents in this condition. One day they treated me like I was still in elementary school, and the next day as the adult child that had to take care of them. It appeared that in this condition, their mind was consumed with negative thoughts and actions. Life insurances were cashed in without my knowledge. I had to take out burial insurances, and pay for them out of pocket. "Agency on Aging" people were ran off the property. My mother started two fires because my father did not want to eat my sister's cooking. I can't criticize the action any person takes who has to deal with this situation.
Emotionally compelling. I think the slow reveal (whih was needed in order to produce a full story from the premise) made it a little harder to love, because half the story is behind us by the time we are able to say with certainty what the full situation is and how we feel about it.
But very engaging.
by
Anonymous11/03/15
Heart wrenching and very emotional, but also puzzling.
What did the doctors advise him? Was the illusion good for her or bad for her? If he really thought his wife wanted him to move on, then what did he want for her? Death, loneliness, coma? His wife was gone. He should have understood that the woman fucking the current Bobby of the month was not his wife, Not His Wife! She was not betraying, not cheating, not abandoning him. He no longer existed in her world. He Was Not Her Husband. If she had some other disease and was in excruciating pain and they gave her narcotics that essentially made her unconscious, would he deny her that since she would then be unavailable to him as his wife? She was living her last years in a world of blissful ignorance. The divorce was for his sake, not hers. His last note was a lie. He cannot giver her freedom, only death will do that. She is a prisoner inside a mind that no longer functions, and thank God she has the illusion that she is in paradise, with her lover. How could a man who loves her and understands her illness not forgive her, even be happy for her. I'm sure he could stroll around the institution and see many other men and women in actual suffering. He should be grateful she thinks she is happy.
A very sad story, not of a cheating wife, but of a husband too selfish and egotistical not to let her go. It appears he may have a second chance at true love and happiness. He should dig within his love for his wife to find some gratitude that she too has moved on to what she thinks is love and happiness. They were happily married until death did them part, mental death. Its time to let go and wish her God's speed to her next life, and his.
English
This was fantastic
Quite original, I'd say.
Five stars easily.
Wow
This was so sad and so well written. I just don't know what to feel about this...you have earned your 5 stars and then some.
very hard decision
that is a very hard decision to make when a loved one becomes like that. its the hardest on the one that still remembers who they are and have to watch as the one they love goes away from them in mind. that is so hard to see good writing
Why on earth did I read that? That was incredibly heartbreaking and you could only weep for Nathan - and yeah, I ended reading in tears. To think one day you could endure that from your spouse, without malice or contempt - purely innocent but no less destructive. Then her final words...
I don't know how you wrote that story, it was perfect, and empathetic and isolating and sad as hell.
Sad
That was a very sad truthful story. The same happened to one of our Supreme Court justices.
Well done
Tragic and heartbreaking but very well written.
What a read…
This is going to sit in my head for the rest of the day. Well paced and a damn good read, worth every damn star I could give it.
well done
My father was recently committed to an institution as he suffers from advanced Alzheimers. The scenario described is truthful in its pain and anguish. Watching one you love deteriorate is heartbreaking. Knowing when to give up is perhaps the hardest thing of all.
Thanks for the read.
So Sad
One of the saddest and truest stories I have ever read. It broke my heart.
Damn, that hurt to read. I can't imagine living through it.
Alzheimers
is one of the most terrible mental diseases known to men,it can only get worse,never better and in the end leaves the patient like a child with no memory not recognising family ,friends,husband or children
It is so heartbreaking reading well written storys like this one
5*****
Well written but so sad.
Dude
I read the comments before I read the story. I should have just given this story 5 stars and walked away. I didn't, and now my allergies are acting up. Damn dust.
Excellent story!
Sad And Powerful
Wonderfully written and quite sad. Very well done
Horrid
Bloody horrible story. Don't want to read anything like that again.
Oh, and it gets a five star
sometimes you
just gotta walk away. That thing is not his wife. Seen it( diease) destroy families, and seeing her fuck another man, it is over.
Thought Provoking
Great and different story. Deals with a difficult subject and one to certainly provoke some thought. Enjoyed that your story was absent of the same tired plot lines of strange car in the driveway, etc. Also noted there were no "bad guys" in your story. All were victims of varying degree.
Dementia is very hard
I cared for my Father as best I could for nearly 15 years. Alzheimers is a bad way to go. The patient can be impossible to deal with. This story was uncomfortable. But that's not to say it wasn't a good story.
I face the same situation, sad to say. It has killed most of my older relatives. A bullet is much kinder. Plain fact.
I wasn't much for Reagan but...
when I heard about his Alzheimer's I felt differently. I recall reading an event wherein he was walking through his ranch house and espied a miniature of the White House. He was alleged to have looked at Nancy and said, "I know that has something to do with me, but I can't remember what it is."
Your story was so sad. It doesn't belong on a web site like this one. Then again, this web site does have an audience for this.
Thanks. I voted a five, but somehow it seems like the act of voting for something like this tarnishes it.
Please keep writing and sharing your thoughts.
Jedd Clampett
What a horrible conflict...
within the husband between his sworn duty in his vows for his wife, and his own mental health and self-respect. Knowing she was sick was the biggest part of the problem. Were her infidelity and faithlessness to him the result of choice or malice, that would be one thing. Having them result from her illness is quite another, and it amplifies the level if his inner turmoil exponentially.
Such a quandry, and it is understandable that exhaustion and familial strife would necessarily be a part of the package. Knowing that she was acting out of ignorance would be little or no balm to salve his wounded heart and mind.
Still...is divorce the right answer? It is entirely inappropriate for anyone but him to cast a material vote. The stakes involved are his own heart and mental well-being. Repeated exposure to ongoing heartache at the hands of one whom you love so deeply could in the end cost him in a myriad of ways: his health, sanity, emotional well-being, even his life. Nobody should envy him his situation - or hers - nor their family/children.
The woman who intervened - ever so lightly - did so in probably the best way possible in the circumstances, and her level of empathy, clarity, and moral character showed her in the light of a person wise in the ways of heart and mind.
I liked the say the author approached the story, and the tale was well told. I should have given it 5*, but slipped when clicking and it got only 4 - sorry.
A perfect story
A real story with powerful emotions. You wrote a concise and pointed tale. That's how it's done.
sad tale
sad tale but so many times a true to life tale. what do you do when someone
you care for no longer knows who you are? do you just stop living and
wait till they die to live again? I try to remember who and what they were
before they went into their own little world .
one wrong note
Here's a sentence at the start of the story:
I'm a cuckold, he thought to himself. I would've never imagined that possible.
Considering the context of the story, that his wife is suffering from Alzheimer's, this struck me as a bizarre thought to have. No doubt, some people may have such a thought, but nothing else in this story justifies it.
If anything, it only cheapens what the story is really about. The poor man is suffering from a disease-driven loss etc.(not a morally wayward partner) and he fully understands the circumstances.
Possibly the author wrote this as a way to introduce a moment of ambiguity into the story, followed by a 'twist' that the wife is in fact ill. The story is too short for this sort of twist. It would have been more than adequate to deal directly - and only - with the genuine suffering of people in these situations.
Cuckold?
I don't think so. And I think that would be the last thing on the mind of a man in this situation. Despite that poor opening this is a very well written story of pain and loss. You really stuck the knife in us with Eva's desperate plea.
By the way the tags for this story are wrong; Eva is not a cheating wife, there is no betrayal in the story. As for adultery perhaps in the technical sense but not in any real way. I hope you can fix them.
Shame on you
for making me think so much. I've enjoyed your other works but this one made me think about Nathan and Eva and of the future possibilities and the sadness for their lost past life.
I wrote a sad story (Stone Cold) about a man losing his wife and not being able to deal with it. But your tale pulls on my heart strings more strongly. I think my character had the easier time of it.
I can read how Nathan feels and understand it logically but I can't begin to feel the depth of his misery. Your story made me slow down and think about Nathan and Eva's horrible situation. ESPECIALLY THE LAST LINE.
Thank you for what I consider one of the master pieces on this or any other site. Please continue writing and frequently.
Thanks
Woodmanone
So sad so true life change crewl.
We live and die, this disease and cancer take a terrible toll.
It's a sad story about how cruel life can be...
It's a sad story about how cruel life can be...Thank you for it...4*
Shit, that was intense
Not anything I expected, some have done similar themes, and have scored quite high (qhml, dtversion, oshaw) but not quite like this. Alzheimer's is a brutal disease, and you captured that perfectly. Which means the story was quite sad.
Good piece of writing DFW but not too many more of these. 5*
well dfwbeast
really erotic, thats precisely why I came to this page. to get more bad news
Not only sad but frightening. It could be any one of us one day.
It was a love story....
Was it cheating? Her mind is locked in the past. Her grip on reality is weak. What's a loving husband to do? She doesn't even recognize him. Sad really. Do you divorce her, knowing her condition? Does the phrase "In sickness and in health" apply here?
Jesus
Talk about a sad, sad tear jerker. Well written and so, so frightening to us older folks especially. What the hell would you do in his shoes? Crap--not the story, just the idea of the pain involved in this loving relationship.
Pure romance
It is a love story for now.
Beautifully written and thought out
This one hit home.
When she could no longer remain home by herself, I remember walking into my grandmother's room at the nursing home and she recognized my son right away yet she had no idea who I was. Plus for the last eight years of her life, I dealt with my mother's worsening dementia as her home caregiver. It's so sad to see someone you've loved all your life fading away mentally before your eyes. It has to be much worse when it's a wife.
While it's sad, this is a wonderfully written story.
Powerful
And evocative.
Thank you for this food for thought.
After 4 years
reading the loving wives section as an anonymous, I finally became a member after reading this story. It touches me emotionally, even the story line is very well narated. I cannot agree with the protagonists decision, but understand it very well. I'm interested in the comments of the other well appreciated LW authors. I agree that this story doesn't belong on this site, but where can you otherwise publish it ? This is perhaps a fantasy for tde DFWBEAST, but it is very realistic in my life.
5 stars
Timely story
Timely and brilliant, and so well written. It's evocative of what I understand former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor went through with her husband when he no longer knew who she was or that he had a wife. The effects of this disease are hideous and all too often unbearably long-lasting for everyone involved.
Loverly sad story
Thank you for sharing this story
The question of adultery loses all impact at this point.
The problem of his suffering is grave and once she was put in an Institution it
was a rapid losing of his bond to her. This happens. My wife started in the end to call me Dad since from her point of view I am an old man and she is young. I do believe that we were lucky in that when it crept up on us we were both retired and had a reasonable amount put away. Therefore I have nurses 24/7 plus a lot of cuddling.
My day gets brighter when grabs my hand, pulls it up to her mouth and kisses it.
annulment?
I thought this was very well written. The one part I did not understand was his statement:
"After the divorce is granted," he hoarsely whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "After the divorce is granted, I'll apply for an annulment."
I can understand the divorce. Maybe even not visiting ever again, but making the marriage as if it never existed? I just can't fathom this.
G R I M
A grim little tale. I am surprised that mental institutions allow sex between inmates and more so when one or both is married! What kind of a fucked up world is this? Clearly they are not competent to make their own decisions - that is why they are there in the first place. Now, her husband, the most important person in her life is cut off from her and her care in the future. Is that in the best interests of the patient? If this is reality, it is horrible.
5* story
One of the saddest I have read in a long time.
Sort of sad,
but the pieces dont' fit together well enough to make it either a true story, or truly sad.
@sugna - It's a nursing home, not a mental institution.
@frazod - if you're catholic, you just can't get a divorce and get remarried. You have to pay to have the church annul your existing marriage first.
What a depressing story
Not sure this site was the best spot for it. Certainly no fun to read about her loss of memory. And what was the annulment about? Was he Catholic and already planning to remarry? Did he feel he needed an annulment so he could be remarried in the Church? That seemed really odd. And having watched my Grandmother pass away under similar circumstances I'm here to tell you that they don't let their patients run around having sex with other patients. I guess that while this was well written, it simply wasn't entertaining. It felt completely out of place on a porn site. Not good.
So true
I hold that committing to an institution is a way to speed up the loss of your
connection. Maintaining them at home and surrounding them with love makes
for personal satisfaction.
Away From Her
There was a movie with Julie Christie made in 2006 with a similar plot, based on a short story by Alice Munro titled "The bear came over the mountain". I mention this only to note that the plot here is actually very realistic. Very well done.
Memories resurfaced.
I had to deal with two parents in this condition. One day they treated me like I was still in elementary school, and the next day as the adult child that had to take care of them. It appeared that in this condition, their mind was consumed with negative thoughts and actions. Life insurances were cashed in without my knowledge. I had to take out burial insurances, and pay for them out of pocket. "Agency on Aging" people were ran off the property. My mother started two fires because my father did not want to eat my sister's cooking. I can't criticize the action any person takes who has to deal with this situation.
...
Emotionally compelling. I think the slow reveal (whih was needed in order to produce a full story from the premise) made it a little harder to love, because half the story is behind us by the time we are able to say with certainty what the full situation is and how we feel about it.
But very engaging.
Heart wrenching and very emotional, but also puzzling.
What did the doctors advise him? Was the illusion good for her or bad for her? If he really thought his wife wanted him to move on, then what did he want for her? Death, loneliness, coma? His wife was gone. He should have understood that the woman fucking the current Bobby of the month was not his wife, Not His Wife! She was not betraying, not cheating, not abandoning him. He no longer existed in her world. He Was Not Her Husband. If she had some other disease and was in excruciating pain and they gave her narcotics that essentially made her unconscious, would he deny her that since she would then be unavailable to him as his wife? She was living her last years in a world of blissful ignorance. The divorce was for his sake, not hers. His last note was a lie. He cannot giver her freedom, only death will do that. She is a prisoner inside a mind that no longer functions, and thank God she has the illusion that she is in paradise, with her lover. How could a man who loves her and understands her illness not forgive her, even be happy for her. I'm sure he could stroll around the institution and see many other men and women in actual suffering. He should be grateful she thinks she is happy.
A very sad story, not of a cheating wife, but of a husband too selfish and egotistical not to let her go. It appears he may have a second chance at true love and happiness. He should dig within his love for his wife to find some gratitude that she too has moved on to what she thinks is love and happiness. They were happily married until death did them part, mental death. Its time to let go and wish her God's speed to her next life, and his.
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