Well written, well thought out, flowed without a lot of drama and could feel the need and passion of your words! Really liked the perspective of the woman and how you did not go over the top in describing body parts and when they finally had sex. Might want to get into the "emotion" of your characters a bit more.
Yet, really enjoyed reading your tale of seduction and connection!
by
Anonymous11/04/15
HOT!!
Damn hot story, got me hot hard and really enjoyed the way she fucked him and he was her fuck toy! Nothing like a hot babe riding her man's cock deep in her ASS!
Enjoyed it. However last sentence - " ... lied beside her, ... " ? Correct is the past tense of intransitive verb to "lie", " ... lay beside her ... ". Good to know the difference in decriptive narrative. In casual conventional conversation or quoted dialogue just about anything is fair game. Most people don't care about it when speaking & that’s ok. Like the fun playing role from the female perspective w/o humiliation. Now I want to read the rest of your work. You've got a follower & fan from the Volunteer Editors realm. Lol! And kudos!!
This story was paced just like the first chapter which was very well done. Your attention to detail really places the reader as an inside observer rather than just being a reader. Keep up the good work.
English
WOW!
Well written, well thought out, flowed without a lot of drama and could feel the need and passion of your words! Really liked the perspective of the woman and how you did not go over the top in describing body parts and when they finally had sex. Might want to get into the "emotion" of your characters a bit more.
Yet, really enjoyed reading your tale of seduction and connection!
HOT!!
Damn hot story, got me hot hard and really enjoyed the way she fucked him and he was her fuck toy! Nothing like a hot babe riding her man's cock deep in her ASS!
Fun Story
Enjoyed it. However last sentence - " ... lied beside her, ... " ? Correct is the past tense of intransitive verb to "lie", " ... lay beside her ... ". Good to know the difference in decriptive narrative. In casual conventional conversation or quoted dialogue just about anything is fair game. Most people don't care about it when speaking & that’s ok. Like the fun playing role from the female perspective w/o humiliation. Now I want to read the rest of your work. You've got a follower & fan from the Volunteer Editors realm. Lol! And kudos!!
Good sequel
This story was paced just like the first chapter which was very well done. Your attention to detail really places the reader as an inside observer rather than just being a reader. Keep up the good work.
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