I know many dysfunctional families that sound like this one. Maybe not so extreme, but this made a great story. You still need an editor, but writing well is a craft and you are clearly getting better at it. Ignore the annony idiots. When they submit a story for criticism that you appreciate, then you can take them seriously. Keep it up!
by
Anonymous11/05/15
Not sure 3*
I do like your stories but your writing is still unsophisticated. You really need to improve your grammar and writing style as it detracts from your interesting stories. You should read good books by top rate authors to understand what good prose and dialogue is. The more you do the more instinctive your writing will become.
It is refreshing to read a story where a couple back up and try to work through problems. Most just try to burn spouse or rub face in it. If they don't make it as a couple, their won't be the what if. I hope that love and family triumph. Try to get rest out so we can see the outcome.
by
Anonymous11/06/15
Grammar?
I guess for some, the grammar errors are key. In the secdond sentence in the last two paragraphs of your story, for example, you have a run-on sentence and a misspelled word. But your story seems so honest and genuine, that the one anon comment was school marmish to the extreme.
English
well done
I know many dysfunctional families that sound like this one. Maybe not so extreme, but this made a great story. You still need an editor, but writing well is a craft and you are clearly getting better at it. Ignore the annony idiots. When they submit a story for criticism that you appreciate, then you can take them seriously. Keep it up!
Not sure 3*
I do like your stories but your writing is still unsophisticated. You really need to improve your grammar and writing style as it detracts from your interesting stories. You should read good books by top rate authors to understand what good prose and dialogue is. The more you do the more instinctive your writing will become.
Second chance
It is refreshing to read a story where a couple back up and try to work through problems. Most just try to burn spouse or rub face in it. If they don't make it as a couple, their won't be the what if. I hope that love and family triumph. Try to get rest out so we can see the outcome.
Grammar?
I guess for some, the grammar errors are key. In the secdond sentence in the last two paragraphs of your story, for example, you have a run-on sentence and a misspelled word. But your story seems so honest and genuine, that the one anon comment was school marmish to the extreme.
I SMELL A SCAM IN HIS FUTURE
just like Rock Island Line. TK U MLJ LV NV
Fascinating Tale
this will be a reconciliation that costs a lot of time and energy to work out.
Some odd mistakes
But overall this trainwreck has my attention
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