It's just not developed well enough.
Good read. Thanks for sharing
You may wish to brush up on your stories with an editor. There are formatting errors like how to write dialogue.
Beginning is great. The end you could work up. Maybe you write more parts?
I bet ou have sucked many cocks too or at last drank their cum!!
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It's just not developed well enough.
A Real Piece Of ASS!!!! ****
Good read. Thanks for sharing
Editor
You may wish to brush up on your stories with an editor. There are formatting errors like how to write dialogue.
end could be worked up
Beginning is great. The end you could work up. Maybe you write more parts?
and to annony whose wife is a dirty cock sucker, I just wanted to say
I bet ou have sucked many cocks too or at last drank their cum!!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Laurie the Dirty Virgin or
More submissions by Olibauer.