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Interesting.... Please continue
I definitely wish it was longer but I like the to the point writing style
Timing
Your story is all in a rush with far too little build-up or description of events. You have to flesh it out and resist the urge to rush from conquest to conquest. Just as the real sex act is far better with a slow and thrilling tension building toward an explosive conclusion, so too is an erotic tale.
Take a breath and give some back-story about the ring and his history. I really have no idea what you are going to do with his harem created in just two short episodes. I liked the story idea but it suffers greatly in execution.
To fast
Every story has a beginning and a ending. This has neither one. Would have been a good story to.
Seems rushed
Good story idea but I feel that you rushed into this and need to spend more time on how he came to have the ring and also take more time setting the direction the story is heading in. Though i suppose any bloke finding such a ring could possibly be excused the urge to rush around making maximum us of it in case they lost it ;)
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