All Comments on 'Bless This Broken Road'

Beautiful story. And I really do wish every author was as considerate as you and would give the song titles and artists of lyrics used in their stories. I also appreciate that you did such a wonderful job of showing how cheating affects not only the married couple but everyone that they know as well. Even jobs can get drawn into the mix. Real life is messy. Real life with divorce added in is a disaster of epic proportions more often than not.

Excellent story. It was believable, that gave it more intensity and increased the impact of the feeling. The genetic mutation and HIV payback was pushing it, but it still worked.

The truth is, Britney and her friends were fucked from the get-go by nothing more than their own selfish personalities. Their real punishment was to have to live with themselves for the rest of their lives. That usually results in a long, slow spiral of bad decisions, bad outcomes and bitterness.

That was beautiful, Theres nothing more I can say

The victims of betrayal and abuse often do fall into addiction. With the help of others they can come back stronger then before, but damaged just the same.

I especially felt the confrontation with his former wife and friends was realistic as well. He was damaged by their actions and forgave them, but still held them accountable with brutal honesty. It was the right way to write it.

Good story.

With this great story, DFW Beast has cemented his place at the highest echelons of L.W. Greats ! this story had it all, from the highs of a happily married man, to the lows of that same man who has his world torn asunder ! The story was long enough to get into the heart of the protagonist , but not too long, as a lot of Authors tend to do, and just throw in too many random pieces that clog up the flow of the story.

I'm sure some will call him callous for the way he treated his ex, but truthfully I thought she sorta got off easy, if that could happen in her circumstance.

I'm hoping that this Author will write a follow up story on the 2nd wife who has her own story only mildly told. But Author was correct to do it this way, because she was simply a means of the protagonist too break free of the invisible chains that held him back. 5 stars because that's as high as allowed ( I rarely give 5's ) , and looking forward to more postings from this great teller of tales !

Five stars easily.

Tremendous tale. I don't know if I would call it revenge but there were consequences. Our hero climbed out of the abyss (nice, huh?) and met another who did the same and make an excellent life, a life of love. The assholes all got what was coming to them.

Author, you have a great style of writing. Please continue. If you check my favorites list you'll see that one of your tales is at the top of the list. Now I add this one also.

Five Stars

All you so called writers. This is how you write a story....

However i'd like to say that marrieing his first wife was a monumental mistake to start with,the weman in this tale seem to drink more than the men,his first wife and her friend Anna were drunk when the met with Brad wich seemed to be the norm,fucking unnown people whilst drunk seems to be theyr standard so who would want to marry a woman like that ? even Jordan was drunk when she got her tatoo,Brad became alcoholic so it seems that alcohol was at least a big part to all conceirned one way or the other

Look, I hate to spoil the party, everyone is having such a wonderful, beautiful, excellent time but man you laid it on with a trowel. She lost her child, she was HIV positive and she died a miserable death. Why not give her boils and motor neurone disease as well? And how about a horrible disfigurement from being doused with acid by a deranged lover?

But too much on the gloat verbiage at the last Brit meetup. A short Im happy and goodbye would have sufficed.

This is excellent story-telling, with vivid characters and a moral. As a recovering alcoholic, I can relate. However, there were two things that were just a little off that I noticed. One was the part where Brad & Jordan would look for a remote area for some hubba-hubba in the back of his truck. But if you are at all familiar with New Orleans, you would know that the remote areas easily accessible to the city are 1.) awfully sketchy areas (think criminal body dumps) & 2.) very swampy and thus infested with mosquitoes. Nothing would kill a loving mood quicker than being attacked by a swarm of bugs. But the big thing was the time line. In the story the writer states that Brad was transferred to N.O. after Katrina to help with restoration projects, but in the epilogue he writes that 15 years have passed since his confrontation at Café du Monde (I assume that's the shop where they met). Unless he's narrating as if it's 2020 (which is not indicated), then his time line is askew. And actually even that is problematic, because the meeting with Anna, Tim & Britney takes place while their first child is a newborn, but in the end they're celebrating their second child's graduation from high school, which would make Brandon at least 20. These are details a good writer really needs to watch. It seemed like DFWBeast sort of let the narrative get away from him in that regard. Still, kudos to him for a very good, readable story.

Along the way I was full of reactions, what an interesting love story, oops, terribly traumatica, Geez a corporation with a heart, great recovery, why don't they get a life?

What a wonderful woman! This author has a future.

And u were concerned about mixed reviews. Undoubtedly your best work so far. I'm so glad to have been involved with this. Cheers & kudos!!!

Damned Good story. Unfortunatelly Literotica wipes my votes out so my 5***** is virtually. To come back from a deep hole is a hard thing and yes big accomplishment, but together is easier...........

If I were HarryInV I could write he should have known Brit was not good wife candidate. The author wrote the main character knew Brit did some cheating in the colledge. Harry would write in angry comment as "He should have known what he hoped."

He was orphan and he came from a ranch so he was naive a little.........

We could hope HarryInV and I think this will be his comment.........

What else ?

Not sure if that means anything to you. Most authors could do without my comments.

Story was good, but story was a tad long. A bit too much jerking each other off with Jordan and this guy (for the life of me, I can't remember his name) in huge half a page chunks.

An anachronism. This lady is 39. He has been married to her for at least 5 years. Before that, he was wandering lost for another 4 years...and he was married to his wife for around 5 years as well. So, did they have cell phone cameras 15 years ago? A bit of an anachronism which caught my eye. Easy mistake to make.

You were a bit heavy with the trowel on both his level of betrayal and the Karma visited on his ex wife. But again, no basements were contaminated in the writing of this story, so this is also a minor quibble. Compared to the fate of Stang's first wives, she got off easy with JUST HIV and dying.

And that was another moment that took me out of the story. Brit came to him for that first dinner and she wanted to get him back. She wanted to get him back HIV infected? Really? Did she honestly think she had a shot? No babies, HIV AND their history. Yeah...she's a keeper! This was a bit of jumping the shark.

However, it made sense for the trio to try to get their own sense of peace and I applaud you in including that. Frankly, instead of Jordan and this guy going on and on about how much they love each other, I would have liked to read a bit more about the fall out between Anna and Tim. You gave us an intriguing outline, but did not fill in the colors, which for me at least was a missed opportunity.

I enjoyed the story.

received this from dear annony today in my e mail;

Why are you back you old dry-up bitch? Fucking worthless cunt! DIE you decomposing cunt !

heheeh The fucking coward has no balls!! he she it...IT was scared to leave It's email address so I can write him back. Or maybe find him and then remove him completely!!

"they only did a girl's night out once a month.” – It’s not the FREQUENCY, there’s NOTHING wrong with weekly girls’ nights, it’s what goes on at them that matters.

Why do "friends" "not want to come between" couples, or "not want to take sides", but never realize that by keeping one's secret from the other they ARE taking sides!

To me, it has a feel of a real story with real characters, not the usual over the top stereotypical individuals. Real people have flaws and the best we can do is not always enough. Just one comment about the naysayers that crop up so often: why is it that those who are so quick to criticize have no skills with grammar, spelling or punctuation? Just saying.

While I wouldn't be opposed to reading Jordan's story in more detail, it seems to me that we are told most of it here.

Thanks for sharing a good read.

The constant time travel, jumping back and forth from the past present and the problems involved with the time travel made the author lose track of things like ages and temporal impossibilities.

The main story line was good. The whole HIV and dying miserably was just stupid and destroyed the whole story. It wasn't enough to just get rid of her and nuke her and the so-called friends, the author had to also destroy the earth and the universe. It just got dumb and ruined an otherwise good story. Try again without world war three and I'll give you a better score. As it stands, a 3.

...and for those that thought the HIV thing lessened the story, remember, every person you sleep with you're also sleeping with all of their previous/current partners too. Sleep with someone who's promiscuous and your odds of catching the gift that keeps on giving goes up DRAMATICALLY. This is just one of the many reasons why I find the slut wife lifestyle and the whole group sex/swinging concept fairly repulsive even as a fantasy.

Yes, except for all the things wrong with it, this was actually pretty damn good! LOL!

Is that the concensus so far? Right!

Yes, the biggest issue for this story is the timeline problems. I too had noticed the problem with the cell phone cameras, but the age of the kids and the measure of the time passing, really stood out as glaring. Meanwhile, how many kids, and what genders? I thought he first had a son, but later, he only mentions his girls?

As to the OTT BTB revenge? Well shit, It is less a problem for me than the timeline stuff. But to afflict Brit QUITE so bad seems OTT. I think, being cheated on, 2nd marriage destroyed, loss of child/w no chance for more would have been quite enough. The HIV/ aids death seemed cobbled on and unnecessary. And it REALLY smacks as wrong for this story when the plot has her wanting to get back together with Brad. Like FD45 said, That jumped right out like "what you want revenge on me, to try and give ME aids too?" But even so, back to timeline issues, the ability of Derek to get infected, but not her, and then later yes her, BAH. It stretched realism and just should have been left out. Why clutter the story with unneeded details for the critics to pull apart, or (even more detrimental) pull the readers away from the realism?

So a few positive reinforcement bits here:

I liked the idea that his "so called" rebound relationship was not with some perfect flawless beauty (I call this Stangstar Syndrome....) I liked that mutually healing each other is what finally brought about a real true love. I liked the detail about Tim realizing his culpability in the massive betrayal to Brad, and it damaging his own marriage too.

I ALWAYS enjoy your strong sure-footed voice, and although some thought this was a little long, I felt the pacing was good. I also appreciate the departure from the Brownwood series. That WAS starting to feel a little soap opera-ish to me.

Thanks very much for your efforts, and your contributions. Like FD45 said, by now, your name recognition alone is enough to get many of us to click on your stories right away. And despite the aforementioned concerns, in no way did this story let me down. I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated it!

Thanks again, and can't wait for the next......

There were a few issues with things being out of place as far as time is concerned. It is easy to do when a story spans a significan length of time. But for me, this didn't take away from the GREAT writing that this author did. I found this story incredibly engaging.

I for one don't think that the HIV was over the top. HIV is a reality in our society, even if we don't speak about it as much as we used to. People still contract it with unprotected sex. It isn't unrealisitic for this to happen.

That said, this author didn't use it as a punchline for greater revenge for our hero as others sometimes do. It was just something that happened as a result of a bad choice made. Did Britney deserve what she got? No. No one deserves a fate like HIV. But it is still a consequence for choosing the wrong partner to trust. It sucks. I know. Life is many things, but fair is not one of them.

Overall, this was a great story. I loved the writing style. Thank you for your submission

The story end should have been when his daughers were born and the HIV was an extra +. Nowdays the HIV became similar to the heart attack for fat and strong smoking people with high % inncident for AIDS but not automatic death.

FD45 is right HIV and hope for reconciliation is contraindication. To find forgivinnes is better aim for the ex wife. The editor should have told to the author..........

Real macho drivel.

Wow ! Nice recovery from the last post . Gave you 4*s . Just one miss away from a fiver. It seems like it is easy to criticize but I hope you accept this in the spirit given. You are one of the better writers here and I enjoy reading your stories . Even when I don't like how they go.

The Derek and Brit relationship in college. If you had spent a page or even half a page on them this story would have been a 5* .You failed to show the depth of her love for

him . Her pain when he lied to her and broke it off . How Anna helped her recover and how their close friendship was cemented .

The fact that Brit was not evil ,just deluded , misled ,and seduced by Derek when he returned to Dallas. Anna's close friendship and support in the betrayal by all of them was key . It allowed and supported Brit in cheating and moving forward to divorce .

Your dialogue was good ,witty like it usually is in your stories . The characters motivations remained true to the plot . The emotional impact on Brad was was devastating because you told us. To the reader more so if we had known about the basis for it ,in college, and on his return.

Sorry for the lecture everyone . An especially you DFWBeast . I can only imagine how much work this story took. I thank you !!

AMerryman

Really, really abysmally stupid character. To even DATE, one time, a drunken slut who had already falsely accused you of being a rapist, is demonstrably Nobel prize stupidity.

I realize he came from a broken home, but I'd have thought that his aunt and uncle might have taught him SOMETHING.

I like your story-telling ability. But I hate to see it wasted writing about a character I can generate zero sympathy for. He skied past an avalanche-warning sign, no surprise what happened.

I agree with @javmor79...A great story...Stories like this, are the ones that make us forget all the bad ones...As the bad ones, some people like it, others no. But for me stories like this are the ones that make LW!!! Thank you...4*

Of the best stories in this category for some time...5*

With all the rules this site has they need to make a new one and not allow negative anonymous comments. If they don't like a story, register and make a comment or shut the fuck up!

This story is so much better than most because it does not focus so much on physical sex as it does on emotional development. Only negative point is that I think the parts were Britney had HIV and died distracted from the development of the story. I gave it a five.

Four stars. A few things stopped it from being 5 stars: Any guy as smart as him would have had nothing to do with Brit no matter how fine her ass, the college romance with Derek came out of no where and rang false and no one with money dies of AIDs or AIDs complications. Derek dying could be considered a fluke but both he and Brit dying, thats like being struck by lightening.

The love story between him and Jordan is wonderful though and could have been a stand alone in the romance section.

a great story from DFWBeast. Unique use of sort of flash backs to flesh out the characters and their history, interspersed into the current time aspects of the story.

As stated by the author this is a story of betrayal and survival and not a true BTB type story. However the aftermath and results of the actions of Brit, Anna, and Tim were better than any physical retaliation or BTB actions that could have been done by Brad.

The interaction between Brad and Jordan as they healed and saved each other was as romantic as any story I've read. It makes you realize there is a "silver lining" to the bad things life throws at you.

For those readers that think Brad should have been more forgiving and turned the other cheek at the final meeting with Brit, Anna and Tim I just say this. After the things those three did and were party too, they deserved what they got.

Most of the time the only thing you get from turning the other cheek is both sides of your face slapped.

Another great story from a gifted author. Thank you Beast and please keep writing.

Woodmanone

This was just fantastic. I loved the Katrina references to help explain the pain for both parties.

One of the best stories I've ever read! Hall of Fame material

I decided my only criticism was Brit getting hiv. It was over the top; just getting cheated on herself and divorced was enough.

This is a striking, well written story of two people who have had traumatized lives in their youth followed by very difficult lives with betrayal. In spite of the scars, it reflects what humans can do to rise from the ashes and make solid, fruitful and strong lives as a couple. Well done oh good and faithful servant!

Tiny Tim

Your example of having the Mona Lisa defaced by an attacker...and after the extensive repairs still being a masterpiece...is sheer genius.

Rest assured that I will be borrowing that example to use with my own family members in future talks with them. You give a new meaning to the word Hope with an example like that.

The story was excellent, and I thank you for it. I also appreciate greatly the craftsmanship you exhibited when writing it. 5*

Wonderful read. Would make a good movie.

Really enjoyed the story. Another great one from you. Thank you very much.

By far your best story yet. A lot of truism's written. The gamut of emotions at each stopping point in the timeline are very believable. Actually, some parts are very true. Knew a couple in a somewhat similar situation. Cheating, friends covering, the confrontation, broken spirits, despair, everything written at some point has happened no doubt to someone. Thanks for posting this. 5 Stars!!

I always enjoy DFWB stories. I've tried to imagine how I would have enjoyed the story had it been told in chronological order. I believe I prefer how it was written. Mechanics were extremely good - I only noticed a few things I would have changed.

I hated to stop reading it.

MCPO Jim

5*

Beautiful story my friend.

Keep posting and you will have your loyal fans.

One of the few times I didn't hesitate to press the 5*. This story touched me on many levels.. The flow was amazing , the mixed timeline made the story more readable and believeable. Character development grabbed and made you feel for them. Keep up the great writing. You have become one of my top ten writers on this site.

Enough said.

Great read. Well written. Thank you.

who in their right mind would want to marry the girl who introduced herself, drunk, by asking, "wanna fuck?" Fuck her? Sure! Marry her? Are you nuts? This is the person you want to entrust with your future, your wealth, your future children? And how does she apologize for offering to fuck him when she's drunk? She fucks him when she's sober. What a beautiful wholesome intelligent wife, not. So he shouldn't have been surprised when her true character came out.

Having said that, you did what you had to do with the characters to make the story work, to tell the tale and create the moral you wanted. And the moral of the story is, be real, be honest, and don't accept anything less from others. Really hard to believe all their friends were that lowlife and duplicitous, and he never had a clue from how they lived or treated other people. Its really hard to cover up that much stink, regardless of the perfume.

So thanks for all your work. Thanks for having good things happen to good people who persevere and takes risks to have a better life. Honestly, Britt and Pendergrass could have lived on just fat and happy without any loss to the story. What Brad found with Jordan was so good and special that nothing that happened to the assholes he left behind could add or take away from their life together. They had truly, moved on.

what could go wrong ? Come on folks this is NOT 5 star story -The premise is way too fucking absurd. Marrying a woman who accuses you of date rape even though she PLANNED to get drunk and fuck some guy -- that is just way too absurd.

There is way too much sympathy for this cunt She was an adult and SHE alon is responsible for her actions

She died of HIV -Her actions caused that to happen.

BUT... when Britney said that she had gotten HIV from Derek while she was STILL married / fucking the husband, Brad... that was just PURE evil

for years afterwards he never knew

Brad could of died through no fault of his own

if it were me ...I would of strangled her Right there

Or stabbed her

Really don't know how this could be better. Superb writing

Chilley

My eyes are full of tears from reading this, I don't think I could cope with another story just yet. 5*

I hadn't read anything by you before so I had no preconceived ideas. What I found was an excellent story that touched me. Beautifully done. Now on to read your other stories.

With some fleshing out of characters and filling in details, this could easily become a novel....a very good one.

Thanks this one is heading to the wall of fame

That is one of the FINEST stories that i've ever read. Should be a clasic of love and healing. Thank you for your time and effort.

Bob

I had my doubts when the reunion in New Orleans was being set up, but I think it was all handed extremely well.

Good job!

That could be a real tear jerker of a tv movie, women would love it.

Also might make some of them think twice before destroying their families by cheating.

excellent work.

I don't mind a BtB story (not sure this qualifies entirely), but it always seems lazy to me when a writer has the betrayer(s) melt into simpering, silent acceptors of the main character's anger. Not only does that reduce them to non-characters, but it basically makes the main character read like a dick during last part of the story.

When people fuck you over, they may feel some guilt afterwards. But it takes very special conditions, and those conditions aren't "things didn't work out for me in the end." That is regret, NOT remorse, and it actually leads more towards self-pity than sympathy for others. The prevailing attitude becomes "Haven't I suffered enough? Why are you being such a dick to me?"

You CAN still sell that journey, if you move carefully, but you can't bypass it. We have to see the little moments that build the remorse. To say "everyone was off screen for a while and then they came back as completely different characters" is to offer no satisfaction, because these don't even feel like the same people who did those things. It doesn't feel like victory at all.

Also, getting AIDS is right up there with winning the lottery in terms of inexplicably prevelant LW "one in a million" tropes.

Great story and well written. My only complaint would be the second meeting with Tim and Anna and Jordan being all for it. Not only did it go against Brad's character to have anything to do with the scumbags but he got nothing from it, seeing as they ment less than nothing to him at that point. Why reopen old wounds?

Jordan pushing for it just hits a pet peeve of mine when the new spouse pushes for a meeting with the person/people who badly hurt their partner. I wonder if Brad had pushed her to meet with Stan would she have felt the same need for closure?

I'm usually a BTB fan, but this was about two injured souls that healed.

I was touched by their frailties (we all have some), and pleased by the conclusion.

DFWB, a well told story. Sad, yet, uplifting in that two deserving people found each other. They both loved, appreciated and understood their past challenges. Morality tale as well. Thanks for the effort Gave it a 5.

I did have one other source of frustration I forgot to mention. A lot of this story (a LOT) hinges on the betrayal being so spread out. It wasn't just his wife that did him wrong...it was his friends. But all of that righteous anger becomes bullshit the moment he says "I knew one of them was probably cheating and suspected others."

Oh, so you did exactly to others what you are so indignant about them doing to you? You deeply suspected (bordering on knowing) that infidelity was occurring and just enabled it with silence? And now you're pontificating about what assholes they are to have done that to you?

Classic hypocrisy.

He just shouldn't have known that. You could still have revealed it, it just shouldn't have been something HE was knowledgable about and condoning by not responding to.

@TheUnoriginalist He was punished for his hypocrisy with long time hell life after the cheating of his wife. (The BTB story haters accuse the BTB story authors that their husband characters are Saints so you got a not Saint husband character!) It may be his mistake (hypocrisy) determinated him to meet his ex wife and his ex friends..................to listen to their reports...............

An author who's name claims himself to be 'unoriginal' dissing another author for being lazy and unoriginal? ROTFLMAO!!! Talk about 'classic hypocrisy!"

As far as the story? Pretty much formula. Author did add a few things to make it better than usual though. Good story.

Straight off the Hallmark Channel.

Some have complained about the harshness of what happened to Brit or what he said to her. To me, it feels real, not PC pablum. Brit and her friends destroyed his life. She was dishonest from the start. Brad is still angry. He has every right to be. No, he doesn't carry it around day to day. He has mostly put it out of his mind. But when forced to confront it again, the anger is still there. It should be. He was treated horribly and is remembering his feelings accurately.

It's unclear what drives people like Brit, Anna, and Tim to seek forgiveness from someone they have wronged so badly. Why would he forgive them? Their "suffering" since he left is meaningless to Brad. He wasn't really looking for retribution, he was trying to deal with his own pain. THEY are trying to selfishly reinsert themselves into his life again. They haven't changed much. What he does is release them from his life, telling them to GO AWAY. I will say the hand of justice seems to have reached the "shock and awe" stage when Derek and Brit both die of AIDS but I'm not that stressed out by it. All the group deserved some type of payback. WIth a pussyhound like Derek, HIV isn't that surprising.

What makes the story so strong is the connection between Brad and Jordan. Together they survived and prospered and loved.

Why do a lot of posters complain of stories where the main characters find happiness after divorce cheating cunt wives? Are the comlaining posters cuckolds who live with cheating wives or cheating wives?

WHY IS PROBLEM IN FANTASY STORY COLLECTION SUCH FANTASY STORY WHERE THE EX HUSBAND FINDS HAPPINESS WITH OTHER WOMAN AS THE EX WIFE???????????That is the TRUE extramarital fun after a cheating wife!

Normally I agree with you quite a bit about characters. However, in this instance, I have to disagree.

First, the comments about the Over the Top BTB actions is NOT directed at Brad. It is directed at the author. WHY is the scenario so offensive?

1) It is a cheap out. BRAD did nothing. There was no conflict. Deux Ex Machina killed off Brit. To avoid making Brad look bad, DFW took it upon himself to splash out bucketfuls of justice upon Brit. So the finger is pointing straight at DFW.

2) It is rather arbitrary and extreme. She did not decide she needed to scratch an itch in her twat. She did not decide that she wasn't pretty enough. She did not lust for a bigger pay check. SHE WAS IN LOVE which had not gone away. Of all the reasons for cheating, this is the most understandable and least negative. If she had med Derek and just divorced her husband to hook up with Derek WITHOUT cheating, would that be any less emotionally devastating to her husband? Why no! Except for a bit of fluid swapping, that is exactly what happened. But dying because one had the misfortune to love someone unwisely? If you turn that around, every single swinging dick on Lit who has been cheated ON has 'loved unwisely'. Does that mean they deserve to die of AIDS?

3) Despite your assertion, this was patently Unrealistic. Who gets AIDS? Gay men and drug users. Since Derek was NOT taking it up the Hersey Highway, he essentially had about a 1% chance of getting AIDS. It isn't even listed on the CDC stats. So this guy essentially got hit with a meteorite by the author.

Additionally, what is a 'realistic' scenario for a woman who cheats on her husband and divorces him? She gets remarried, lives and has a kid. She is 50% more likely to get divorced, but that means she is 50% NOT likely to get divorced. Essentially, she is getting fucked by the man she cheated on, and since she was 'trading up', her lifestyle also got better. This is patently unfair...but it's still true.

4) It was unnecessary. She was sterile (another author created slam) and she was a two time divorce loser. She lost her friends in every one of these divorces. That is a majorly fucked up life. Throwing the 'Hey, I have HIV and STILL want to hook up with you' is such a WTF moment, that most readers have to scratch their heads about the blatant stupidity of those two statements taken together. How do you start that conversation? How enormously stupid do you need to be, AFTER HAVING DATED, to think that the man you fucked over will take an HIV infected person back? It does not scan. It does not make sense. A husband that sainted and forgiving would have ALREADY forgiven her and have been sending her Christmas cards, not tried to drive her out of his life and mind.

Now, kudos on the bad guys seeking some closure. This was a major plus in the story. No one is a bad guy in their own mind. So 'improving' and showing an apologetic attitude. THAT is realistic.

Now I do not doubt that most readers WISH this was a realistic scenario for a person like Derek and Brit. But it doesn't make it so, so don't call it that.

other than that, I thought this was a terrific story! It's funny that the Mona Lisa is mentioned in the story because, before getting to that point, I was thinking that this story was DFWBeast's Mona Lisa. I believe it's certainly his best and a real work of art.

It was extremely well told. The characters were well rounded and three dimensional. The dialogue was also done extremely well. When I saw how many pages this was, I started to scan it. I got three quarters of the way down the first page and went back to the top and started to read every work. I really enjoyed this. Well done to DFWBest and his collaborators. My only regret is that I can not give it more than 5 stars.

This is your story! I liked it!

I read these for entertainment and I hate any form of willing or coerced cucking. Reality or not...fun to read, with a few tears.

Thank you for your time an creativity!

Rob

The heterosexual rout is the first in Afrika for the HIV virus. The expensive medicines can keep the HIV in repression, but the break out to AIDS is a possibilty like Damokles' sword. So the heterosexual spread is also a possibility in the USA for HIV, but the possibility is much higher at prostitute's customers than at the predator of middle class wives. If only he mixed prostitutes with cheating wives. (There is 1 case where the HIV virus went to healthy at lesbian pair!) I think a Clamidya problem and Brit became infertil from Clamydia is much bigger possibility and in this case the author could have showed his kids as the contrast.

CDC stats.

560 heterosexual, non-drug using men got HIV one year. Out of a population of 330 MILLION. It is almost literally a one in a million chance. Twice that number of heterosexual white WOMEN got HIV...because their husbands were going on the down low....

Just saying.

This is the real problem with comment section feedback, isn't it? Quite a few people think that any story that has a BtB ending should receive only praise, and that other stories deserve only scorn. It's like saying "if it has Star Wars in the title, it's automatically great."

The reality is no matter what type of story you are writing, there can be room for improvement in how you go about telling it. And getting only total praise for a flawed story simply because it ends a certain way is actually harmful to an author, because improvement requires feedback. The idea that people who offer any sort of critical analysis about the storytelling are attacking the story itself is reductionist. It's a way of protecting from the chance to grow. It does no favors to the author.

I think the best way of judging a story is asking yourself if you enjoyed it.

I did.

Keep up the good work

@TheUnoriginalist The problem is only 2 places are where the BTB fans can read BTB stories Literotica (mainly in LW) and Storiesonline.net (SOL).

I am BTB fan but sometime I can read Reconciliation stories..........

...in which I can identify with the main character's emotions and sympathise with.

Two badly damaged souls who struggle to find and maintain a balance in their lives.

Well written - evocative - and deserving in 5 Stars.

I do like idea of btb. But to die with AIDS is still hard to wish on someone. The best btb story is to live a fantastic life when offending ex spouse having a less than stellar after life.

An anachronism. This lady is 39. He has been married to her for at least 5 years. Before that, he was wandering lost for another 4 years...and he was married to his wife for around 5 years as well. So, did they have cell phone cameras 15 years ago? A bit of an anachronism which caught my eye. Easy mistake to make.

You were a bit heavy with the trowel on both his level of betrayal and the Karma visited on his ex wife. But again, no basements were contaminated in the writing of this story, so this is also a minor quibble. Compared to the fate of Stang's first wives, she got off easy with JUST HIV and dying.

And that was another moment that took me out of the story. Brit came to him for that first dinner and she wanted to get him back. She wanted to get him back HIV infected? Really? Did she honestly think she had a shot? No babies, HIV AND their history. Yeah...she's a keeper! This was a bit of jumping the shark.

+++++++++++

Generally, there are only 4 or 5 types of writers, or types of writing, in Lit --- the masochists, the narcissists, the clueless, the terrible, and the less pretentious, small-time fictional story tellers --- so given a choice, most of us would rather go with a feel good story like this, even if it is a bit over-acted.

Seriously, if you gonna spend 10 to 50 hours banging on the keyboard, might as well write something decent so most readers would give you some virtual stars.

I wish, having said that, that Literotica would allow NEGATIVE voting, just for fun, so we could all so much more easily ID the masochists and narcissists, so we could all mutually avoid each other in terms of time wasting on something you don't want to waste it on, even if it's just for a few minutes... I don't have any problem with the truly terrible and/or clueless writers. Those could improve, if they want. It's the masochists and narcissists that are clogging up so much of Lit's space...

took time and a lot of work.

the level of anger was so dark it threatened the happy outcome.

As an abuse survivor, ex-foster child, I know surviving abuse is long painful and absolutely devastating to the survivor. Imagine the person helping them out, mainly the spouse who has to endure it also. Especially, if they weren't abused. I can attest to the fact that at times I have a volatile personality, feel vulnerable, lonely, alone. I can also say this, DFW this was the best story I have ever read on here. It takes someone who has been there to write about it so poignantly, and with such brutal honesty. I hope you are okay as well, and may God bless you and your family. Keep writing these type of stories, please. Our stories need to be read somewhere. If anyone would like to contact me: Randall9991@netzero.net

Here, fucking here!

I recall a story I read (not identifying it, because I have a poor memory). Essentially, it was half a page of poorly written drivel. We never knew the characters. We didn't know the situation. But some guy got his ass raped as his wife cheated and suddenly, like magic, all the bad guys got a heavy rain of shit on them. No explanation HOW this rain of shit fell upon the malefactors. It just happened.

This story got a ridiculously high score.

I see THAT story getting a score within .2 or .3 of oshaw, Rhenquist, ohio, Stangstar. Guys who put some fucking CRAFT in their writing. Who have a story arc and I have to wonder what the readers are applauding? Is it JUST a bitch getting burned?

The horrible thing is that a lot of these ideas have wonderful potential to be VERY good stories. A moving idea ruined by a horrible execution. Again, think Star Wars.

So I have to ask WHY I should waste my time writing something like Reconciliation when all anyone seems to want to read is:

'My wife cheated...I burned da bitch good...Duh End.'

Anyone want to give me five stars for that? You guys have before....

THIS story has some craft in it. Do I think it's perfect? It's certainly good. That is enough for me.

My sentiments exactly! One of the things I enjoy about feedback from you, Unoriginalist, Lordslamdogg, Ohio, and a few others that I can't recall their name at the moment, is that you guys judge the content as much as the originality, the imagination, and the attention to detail. All of it comes into play when you write a comment about the story. If you love it, it is because it hit many markers for you. If you hate it, it is based upon the fact that there was something lacking. Many people simply judge the story based upon how much vindication they feel after the last period. "Not enough retribution" can lower the score of a 4.5 star story. I too become puzzled by this.

I gave this five stars not because of the BTB aspect (though, of course, dying of AIDS is such fun, isn't it?), but because of the tale of two badly damaged characters saving each other through their mutual love and courage. That's the feel-good side of the story.

A very good story. Five stars. One odd element: she was heading to see him, hoping to reconcile, even though she was HIV+?

But I have a few quibbles. Having the ex and her lover catch HIV and die was a tad heavy handed. Having the HIV infected ex-wife claim that she wanted to try and get back together with Brad is just nonsensical.

Strong points were the story of Brad and his new love. The dialog was excellent and I applaud you having the one couple try and seek forgiveness. All too often side characters are one dimensional and show no growth over the course of the story. These two did, although Brad was too damaged to appreciate it all that much. One of, if not the best of the stories you've posted. I look forward to your next one.

you had to do it, you just had to go make us shed a tear for this story of woe & true happiness,

on the top of that, you also link a song thats so perfect to the story, that makes me think you wrote the song in the first place,

sorry if you did not get my sarcasm, but i enjoyed the story, so i decided to share with you a link about the way your story made me feel

Billy Currington - People Are Crazy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKpQRjj_WbU

Now i know some country fans may say that he may not be a good person, after he has been arrested on elder abuse charges & sentenced with anger management with 5 years probation, to them i say its not our place to judge, but if you must, you are free to do so.

Comments spot on.

Congrats. An emotional and well written story. Five out of five. I liked how the two lead characters were both damaged. Such themes aren't explored too often here. As always your dialogue is superb.

There were no roller coaster moments in this story, unlike some of your other stories. The final confrontation was a bit extreme, but you were upfront and honest about it.

I would have liked to have seen Jordan calming him and protecting him a bit more in his final confrontation with his ex. You hinted at it with the hand squeezes, but I would have enjoyed something more overt.

The fate of the ex was a bit OTT, but you did warn us in the intro. Was she crazy to try to win him back in her situation? Probably but in RL people do crazy things.

Your body is work is growing very impressive. I enjoy all your stories, even the ones that make me sad.

Cheers Steve

Very powerful writing. I absolutely love it. I rarely say this but thank you for such a great story.

one the best i have read on this site

As far as I can tell, there were no problems in her marriage to Brad. How can anyone destroy their marriage on memories of an old relationship? I would have thought that the new memories would have replaced the old ones. And to serve Brad with no warning whatsoever is...well, the whole situation is just evil.

The only flaw, with no children, she would not have gotten the house. She would have had to buy you out, to remain living there. Any attorney would have seen to that.

Although, the protagonist Brad overcame his crash and burn resulting from Brit's betrayal, Brad was engulfed in a total tragedy of emotional.

If a girl you have never met or even spent five minutes with asks you if you want to fuck and you think she is the kind of girl to marry you have no right to complain when she does what Brit did. Kind of like poking a bear with a stick, probably not a good idea. ............................... Sinstalker

Well done. A great story well told with great characters. Thank you.

Great story, well scripted and a thoroughly enjoyable read.

Thanks.