- All
Comments (2) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Platinum less than silver or gold?
Platinum is a much rarer and more valuable metal, so if there's some reason it's only in the middle of that list, you should explain that detail. Even with credit cards, platinum is the top level.
Also, mabe you're warming up to it but so far there's no challenge at all for the character. Even small things, like where he was worried about succubi getting pregnant and instantly the principle seemed to read his mind and explain what he wanted to know. It's good for the character to have shortcomings and dangers. A little delayed gratification might stretch the story out a bit, but it's not really creating a sense of progress or growth.
I very rarely bother commenting, so I hope you're ok with constructive criticism. I get the impression you cam do much better, and I want to see that. -J
Thanks!
Thanks for taking the time out of your life to help me improve my story, I'll definitely give him some struggles in the future, Oddwong WILL RETURN.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Summoning the Succubi Pt. 07 or
More submissions by EroticKappa.