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English
yawn - hate continuing, get some action
write all, sex, i fell asleep
A loving son
You might be good if you would get to the point of the story instead of lingering around on the same topic like showing how he wanted to have sex with his mom and showing how much he loved her
Good beginning
I think the story has some great possibilities and I know that with continued editions you will build the story line. I agree with one of the submissions when they mentioned to write a little more about how much Mother loves son. I would like the son do more to tempt his mother like maybe do a strip show with him in tight jeans and tee shirt or a erotic dance with her until she finally breaks. I know one on of the submissions mentioned more sex, but I think that you will present that in time. There are many stories on this site that go directly to sex. I think the building of the story will make the sex more exciting when it happens. Just my opinion. I think you for writing.
Ignore the 2 "wham-bam, thank you mom" comments
Obviously, some people want to get it right on, without any foreplay at all. Ignore them...their spouses must be gritting their teeth!
hmm...
nice very nice keep it up popito
Good Start
As you develop the story you need to take the time for more description as to what is happening. More erotic detail. It has some great possiblities. It needs to be longer segments or chapters. Good luck. I look forward to more.
Jenna you rock...............
I write for Literotica myself ~ and I enjoy the "to be continued" stories. It makes the reader want to come back for more! I think you're doing a great job - and look forward to seeing the continuing saga!
YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR STORY FURTHER
PLEASE TAKE YOUR STORY FURTHER BEFORE A CONTINUANCE. THIS IS A GOOD START BUT LACKED MEAT. PLEASE FINISH YOUR STORY
TO COMPLETION ON THE SECOND ROUND. IF YOU HAD ME SALIVATING
BEFORE THE YOU STOPPED YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A HIGHER SCORE.
Good start!
That is definitely the way to keep us coming back for more!
Thanks
I wanted to take the time to thank everyone who gave commentary on my story. Thank you for the encouragement, and most especially for the suggestions. As for those of you who did not like my story, please be more specific as to why you didn't like it. Saying "It sucks" doesn't give me a lot to work with.
good fuck
wonder full story
continue...............
I like it to begin slow. you've done well. i just wish you would continue. i was gettin turned on........
take it to the next level
You need to explore the situations with more "diologe". Keep it real man..
to vauge
to stop at that point you should have had part 2 ready
the family affair
Another family squable gets out of control and the son wants to get into his moms pants so cool.
Atlanta,Ga
tea?
Black tea with milk and sugar? Really!! Thats WHITE tea. Jeez
a great start
I love that the boy says to himself, "Showtime!" when he's about to let his mother see his hard young cock. That desire, that deep urge to have his mother see everything he's toting between his legs is extremely common with young males. "Show it hard for mom" is standard when boys joke and banter among themselves. It's harmless family fun, and can lead to even better things. If the mother smiles at her son as he's letting her see his male package, he can engage in some enjoyable dirty talk, like "it's a lot bigger than the last time you saw it, isn't it, mom?" If the mother nods and smiles appreciatively, then the sky's the limit.
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