Watching the Clouds

What was that?

Nothing interesting here. Remind me again why this was written?

I agree.....

Why was this written? I seem to feel rather ambivalent towards the piece.

Why the fuck did you bother and you know where it should have been posted: NON-EROTIC! Not one thing erotic in this, you do realise it is an EROTIC website?

Very good

It's very human, a refreshing story about feelings, much better than a lot of the so-called erotic stories on this site, regardless where in which category it's posted

Nice!

Not sure how I feel about the 'dam breaking' on his emotions, but I very much liked the hollow shell characterization. Others have tried, but it usually comes off as sullen of quietly angry. The emptiness you describe for you character was well done.

A joy

Really liked the story and your style of writing. Bit of a quick turnaround of emotions for him but hey its a story.

Many thanks for sharing

This was well written. But it could have been so awesome..

I would have much preferred an ending where Ralf is left forever a broken man. And Anna stays with him because she too is broken. They do not get back together. No sex either.
But they stay friends. Each a damaged in their own way clinging onto each other.

A very good story and a very good day for LW...

A very good story and a very good day for LW...This story is the second 4* today!!! Must be because the Xmas month has began!!! Two broken souls that healed each other...It was necessary for him to find out about her and be destroyed by it, for her to begin her healing and after that decide to heal him too...Thank you for the story...Not boring at all, as you warned in the begining...And to you, your family and all writers and resders of LW a Marry Xmas and a Happy New Year...

I stated off hating this story.

But by the end, I gave it a 5. Wasn't perfect and I would have preferred to see it take longer; but two broken people healing. What's not to like about it.

Beyond Belief

She was a drug addict and he didn't know? She got kicked out of school because of it and he didn't know? She was a prostitute and he didn't know? Her parents paid for rehab only after she was a whore? She would rather be a whore than tell anyone about her addiction? Her addiction as an excuse kept coming back to me after it was revealed. It doesn't ring true and interfered with the rest of the story. Ever know an addict?
1. You will see them high
2. Their behavior changes even when they are not high
3. Before they would start prostitution, they would steal family funds, an it would be noticeable
4. Once she started as a prostitute, the drug use would get more intense and more noticeable
5. She would have declined so severely by that time even an idiot would know there was a major problem
6. There is next to no recovery from her lifestyle. It is much more likely that she would have died from a drug overdose or aids within two years rather than cleaning up and coming back to him
7. It would have been more interesting if her reappearance was a possible result of his psychotic break from reality rather than reality itself.

Absolutely loved this story...

And I gave it a 5*, even though I do have one or two niggles.

1. Its never explained why Brock went overboard like he did as going by what was said, it was above and beyond the punishment he would normally dish out to someone bothering one of his ladies.

2. The turnaround was perhaps a little too fast, as others have said, and they came back together somewhat abruptly.

Having said that, I still gave it a 5 because for once, the sex was a result of the reconciliation rather than the reason for it... Which makes for a refreshing change.

I was also deeply touched by the descriptions of his emotional journey, but would love to see a part two that explored the story from Anna's side.

the fuck did I read?

"Because I love you."
I nod. I've already guessed that much.

Yeah, right...

So not only the Brits are cucks, Germans too?

Next time you might want to be more specific in your warning, something like: "This is the most vile, absurd, pathetic RAAC story you'll ever read. Beware!"

I'm not gonna touch any more of your posts. 1*

Actually, I hadn't read any of your stories...

...so your warning was wasted. Worse than wasted, it was useless. People who know your style don't need the warning. People that don't know your style won't be warned because you don't bother to tell them. Try this, "Warning, WACC and RAAC ahead!"

Author

Keep writing. I like your stories. Maybe a little over the top but that's what fiction is for.Stretching the normal. Would most men take her back? Probably not.But who cares.Fun read Keep.going

Great Story

I really enjoyed this story. Despite the naysayers, these kinds of break ups and reconciliations do happen to real people all the time. People who think this couldn't possibly happen in real life have lived a sheltered (or shuttered) existence. You captured the feelings of the characters very nicely.

This was a very well written story.

Although the mindless btb crowd won't like it because the protagonist was not a special forces cia ninja assassin who kills the wife and pimp and rides off into the sunset with a stunning younger beauty who turns up when he discovers the wifes cheating.

it was not perfect and there were a few plot holes but overall it was much better then the tired fare that is so often posted.

so 5*

This was a surprise.

We found a gem this morning. That has not been happening much of late. This short story was like reading actual literature. I thought it was extremely well done, with the exception of "her's" which is not a word. Forget the apostrophe. This was a well conceived short story.

5 stars

Wow. Great writing! Whoever talked you into submitting it should be thanked. Always a nice surprise to find a well written story about actual people on this site. Great job.

love the story

but hate the comments about people who did not like it, to each our own i can see why people would not like the content.

Interesting read

A good read but the breakdown by Sugna explains very completely what is wrong. Having had several drug addicted family members Ralf's naïve life with an addict is detracting, I have decided to come back later (days or weeks) and read it again and give it a score at that time.

better than most of your stories

but as someone else said. no way in hell was she a drug addicted hooker for years and nobody knew. drug addicts are very obvious, once you know one you can spot them a mile away.

Very original

and entertaining. I liked it!

Very well done..

Excellent story, well written and interesting narrative !
Where have you been hiding this? This is so much better then really any of your other stories ( Sorry but only the groupie one was really much good previously).
I really hope you expand this new talent in the future.

Interesting, well told story

Different. Thought provoking. I do agree that the "hole" is that an addict can't go undetected for that long, but overall this was a very good story.

Agree with the others

I very rarely let other commenters change my feelings on a story, but after taking a second look at it and reading the comments, I have to agree with the hole. But only in part.

My wife's brother was addicted to heroin before he found religion. He hid it well for a couple of years until it started to take its toll on him. We only found out when we caught him doing something extreme to get his drug. Much like the protagonist in this story. I could believe that it could be hidden, but not as long as the story suggests.

Sad Story, but (Mostly) Credible

A real woman would have blamed the husband for her lifestyle and drug addiction. However, this is a poignant and interesting story; a good fantasy.

Hiding Drug Addiction

There is much truth in what has been pointed out about the symptoms of drug addiction. However it is also true that every addict is different. The "middle class" addict can often maintain what seems to be a normal lifestyle while addicted. In a case like this, if she turned to prostitution early enough that she could skip the stealing from the family stage, it is entirely possible that she could hide her addiction successfully, especially as the guy seems to be somewhat easy to fool.

*****

Definitely different and very good. Nice job on capturing emotionless emotion.

Ok

Although I have been advised by more experienced authors not submit my own public comments, I want to say two things.

- Thanks to snooker70 and SexyGeek for convincing me to submit this. As I´ve said, this is something that I´ve never planned to submit. And thanks for the positive comments. I´m still a little puzzled about this. I had expected a far harsher reaction.

- The second thing - I´ve recently found out that one of my best friends takes cocaine on a regular basis. No one would have suspected this. We know him for many years and have been on vacation with him quite a few times. He has a normal, well paid job. I am convinced that nobody can notice this in his case. And it doesn´t even matter, it doesn´t make him a less likeable person. To discourage nitpicking, I have left the kind of drug open deliberately.

Different and very welcome

Fell appropriately this one, having just been forced to sack a long term employee for drug use. It was 'only' marijuana, but it had become regular and he couldn't/wouldn't do anything to stop it. We work with some heavy machinery and simply couldn't risk him injuring our other workers, and he was dangerous till his mind cleared half way through the day. I should add that every other employee supported our decision. That's four in the last ten years, and all for the same reason. Those who think it harmless maybe haven't been responsible for the safety of their workers. Oh by the way ….. 5 stars!

Very well written Story

Despite the little plotholes (especially: hiding the addiction and her second life from her husband for so long) it was one of the best submission of the last few months.
Especially Ralf's feelings (or better: missing feelings) were described convincingly.
I doubt that they will make it. She proved to be able to deceive him for such a long time by lies and omissions so that - once he gets back normal human emotions - he will probably be unable to trust her for ever and will question everything she will ever share with him. So his decision is well-advised: no marriage, no kids.
5* from another "German Wimp"

Very well done

Thank you. As others have said, this is one of the best stories of the last few months.

Wow

You did so well to capture one of the ways humans can respond to trauma. As has been said so many live lives of quiet desperation. You have hit upon some of the ways we can counter act that. With purpose then acceptance then gratitude. Thank you for sharing your talent.

absolutely

fantastic. never read anything that was just half way as erotic as this :-(

good for what ever page. really, but if I send you to the butcher to buy some steaks and you come home with 2 loaf of bread, what would you say ?

mission failed

Very good

A perfect story (for me at least). 1. The bitch Burns a bit. 2 She redeems herself. 3. Enough sex to fit the story but no where near a stroke story. 4. Between 2 and 5 pages long. 5. It all works out in the end.

@steve2244

fair point about some addicts being highly functioning and able to hide their addiction from those close to them. But, and I fully realize this is fiction, somebody who is selling her body to feed the addiction, has a pimp with such a hair-trigger and who was so high that she couldn't react rationally when she saw her husband - I don't really think that is the type who could be so high functioning.

Its a little point that did not distract much from a very interesting and different story.

thanks.

I don't get into the morality of BTB or RAAC

It isn't interesting to me. Some women and men, on cheating, never touch it again. Other people can never be trusted. Some people learn, some people don't. Same with other addictions and moral failures.

Just make a case one way or the other. And here, I think you made it. This was not about Anna, IMO. Ralf was a shell, and he wanted to change deep on the inside. That Anna was the mechanism of that change was almost irrelevant. He was looking for a tool to pry open and she happened along.

And as written, she was the only one with any incentive to be that tool.

Now, how credible is it that he would never detect her drug use? I am trying to think of what drug could possible avoid leaving meth mouth or track marks. Cocaine maybe? This is...unlikely but I allow a story one Suspension of Disbelief violation. Okay, she was a highly functional addict who could keep her whoring secret.

Did the rest of the story work from there? Yes!

It was slow, but the tone and the pacing were perfect for THIS story. It also made me think hard about using elements of his personality in other characters I know. If your story makes me think about how to make my stories better, I like it!

Nicely done and I am glad I took a chance on this story.

Just amazingly good. Five stars.

As for those who don't get it, well . . . they just don't get it, never will, and there's no point worrying about them.

Good Story

A good story. 4 stars.

Realistic, in that some guys just can't move on. A bit sad that the woman he loved never really existed...and still doesn't. I find that worse than just losing her way.

In real life situations along these lines, my view is the guy should have zero to do with the Ex in any way shape or form (unless Kids are involved and it can't be avoided). No evil intentions or wishes for the Ex, it is that just for him she is bad news squared --- particularly true of a druggie.

"If you hated my previous stories, don't read this one. If you read if nonetheless, don't complain afterwards."

Wow, what a cheap, superficial, and simplistic way of trying to get nothing but praise and to avoid having to deal with criticism. Do you make an effort to have your characters act logically? No. Do you try to post something besides another story where the wife shits all over the man she claims to love, and, for no reason given, he takes her back? No. All you did was try to deflect anything that challenges you. Well, the only response that deserves is, "Fuck You."

It isn't that you want to write reconciliation stories. It's that you really, really, really, REALLY suck at them. If you actually put some effort, some thought, some intelligence into your stories it wouldn't be so bad. You essentially write the same stories over and over.

Very good. Enjoyed it very much.

4* could have been 5, but I don't believe anyone could hide being an addict and a hooker with regularity to fool a spouse. But from that spring board came a great tale.
As I read the story I keep thinking of the Winne the pooh character.... Eeyore.

Just really, really great.

No other comment really needed. I hope we don't get the asinine critical comments about the whys and what fores from the usual suspects about the content of the story and how it somehow relates to real life. It was just plain great!

Excellent

4*

Decent story

But the main character is really ungrateful to his friends. They handle his divorce for him, stick by him for a year or two, but because they don't continue visiting him when he clearly doesn't care to see them anyway, they are not true friends...but the woman who betrayed him, lied to him for years, and had her pimp put him in the hospital, well, she's his only true friend because she puts up with him not being very talkative for a few days.

Thanks for the unique story. I did mostly enjoy it. I think the wife should have needed more than words and a few meals to redeem herself, though.

Cog

My Christmas Wish

We got an Anony a few comments up (down?) from me whining about how the author is avoiding criticism. Fuck him, he's a tool.

Now, unlike him, who cannot rationally explain WHAT was wrong with the story except to say 'it sucked' (at least Sugna broke down what he did not like quite logically), I will explain why he is a complete tool.

Oh...I just did. He did not explain the problems in the story but just whined about it. Because he can't. Because there is nothing fundamentally WRONG with the story. He just doesn't like the taste of it.

The author rather graciously stated that this story was similar to his other stories in style (another wild accusation ripped to shreds by the authors warning), and so if you did not like his stories before, you probably would not like this one. It's called 'saving the reader time'. A touch of manners. It's like this thoughtless commenter hates Thai food, but he STILL GOES TO THAI RESTAURANTS, just so he can bitch about how bad the food is! Despite the fact that other people seem to enjoy the food. He is not wrong for disliking it. He is wrong for being a dick who indulges in this behavior.

I don't like Western Stories. I won't read Western Stories. I do not find it necessary to comment on stories I am unable to appreciate. Why is this so hard to understand?

nice story

thank you for a good story!

Reached me

I am glad whomever it was talked you into posting this story. It is unusual and very well done.

ok story, but did not make sense to me

Obviously he was in a state of very severe depression, near suicide. Not because he WANTED, but he could not care one way or the other. He could not take up the effort to keep his friends.
But his doctors should have seen that depression after his beating, and given medicines for depression, or prescribed exercise and sun - or even as a last resort shock therapy. Ok, the docs miss things.

Then he exiles himself away from people, but has a self started job? - incredibly hard for a person in severe depression to do. They not only have no emotion, but find activities hard to do - nothing seems to matter. And they often get physically exhausted from nothing, much less a job where he has to motivate himself - while he recovers from his injuries. This was very weak.
But then when his depression started to lift, he peacefully begins to feel emotion - there is no sudden rages, no bitterness - only good things. weak again.

so it is a well told, but poorly researched story.

You warned us

You warned us that this story was boring and you were right. 1*

Now that was a good story

Both find themselves again , she lost to drugs and prostitution. He a broken man after seeing her sell herself for a fix. She recovers from her addiction and makes it up to her recluse x husband,who lets her back Into his life. Happy ending to a sad beginning of life, love happiness and a new beginning.