You have the stage set for an excellent story. I'll be interested to see if you go the romance route with a BDSM edge or the BDSM porn route with a story for continuity. Either way, I'll keep reading.
I agree with Catsmine a strong base with a good few direction options, a minor critism, you could possibly proof read yourself before submitting as there are several incorrect terms used (incorrect words and sometimes a phrase seems mixed up). I have never written a story so would probably make similar errors. But hey keep up the good story direction, can't wait for the next installment 4.5 stars
I just started reading today. Love the plot so far, but honestly, I feel like you could add the word asked to your vocabulary. This is written in past tense, but for two whole paragraphs while he talks to the waitress, he asks and ask and she asks, but it should be asked every time. However, the story is great. I will read on.
English
I'm liking this
You have the stage set for an excellent story. I'll be interested to see if you go the romance route with a BDSM edge or the BDSM porn route with a story for continuity. Either way, I'll keep reading.
Good story base
I agree with Catsmine a strong base with a good few direction options, a minor critism, you could possibly proof read yourself before submitting as there are several incorrect terms used (incorrect words and sometimes a phrase seems mixed up). I have never written a story so would probably make similar errors. But hey keep up the good story direction, can't wait for the next installment 4.5 stars
Love the plot so far
I just started reading today. Love the plot so far, but honestly, I feel like you could add the word asked to your vocabulary. This is written in past tense, but for two whole paragraphs while he talks to the waitress, he asks and ask and she asks, but it should be asked every time. However, the story is great. I will read on.
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