I thought it was good, especially since it's your first story! It was steamy and a quick read. Which are two things that I love . I hope you'll keep writing! : )
Completely agree with thecavedweller, great job for a first submission! The pace was a bit fast for my taste, but the plot was enjoyable nonetheless. Good job, and keep writing!
That's a very brave thing to do, Discretion9966 -- well done! Your story was terrific, if a little fast-paced for me, but kudos to you!
I wish you every success in the comp and I'm sure we will be reading much more of your work here soon. Four stars and a big TY.
by
Anonymous12/12/15
More
Can't wait to read more! Good Luck!
by
Anonymous12/22/15
I rarely give out 5*s
I rarely give out 5* reviews, not because "nobody is perfect"...
Just because I think that if everyone gets 5*s then the 'grade' becomes cheapened.
That being said, this was an excellent first effort - almost can't believe it is really your first, & I would have given it 6*s if I could have.
KEEP WRITING Please!
by
Anonymous01/01/16
Nice job!
Not too fast paced for me; I don't want a lot of superfluous background info once the characters and situation are established. Nice descriptions. Robert is a bit of a snooze-- tell us more about him, like what he looks like? I wish they hadn't decided on the public bathroom because that's kind of gross, but that's just me not able to suspend my easily-grossed-outness. Overall a good read! Keep going.
I thought it was good, especially since it's your first story! It was steamy and a quick read. Which are two things that I love . I hope you'll keep writing! : )
Great!
Great Story!!! I like the quickness of it.
Nice job!
Completely agree with thecavedweller, great job for a first submission! The pace was a bit fast for my taste, but the plot was enjoyable nonetheless. Good job, and keep writing!
A first story AND a competition entry!
That's a very brave thing to do, Discretion9966 -- well done! Your story was terrific, if a little fast-paced for me, but kudos to you!
I wish you every success in the comp and I'm sure we will be reading much more of your work here soon. Four stars and a big TY.
More
Can't wait to read more! Good Luck!
I rarely give out 5*s
I rarely give out 5* reviews, not because "nobody is perfect"...
Just because I think that if everyone gets 5*s then the 'grade' becomes cheapened.
That being said, this was an excellent first effort - almost can't believe it is really your first, & I would have given it 6*s if I could have.
KEEP WRITING Please!
Nice job!
Not too fast paced for me; I don't want a lot of superfluous background info once the characters and situation are established. Nice descriptions. Robert is a bit of a snooze-- tell us more about him, like what he looks like? I wish they hadn't decided on the public bathroom because that's kind of gross, but that's just me not able to suspend my easily-grossed-outness. Overall a good read! Keep going.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to A Holiday Shopping Quickie or
More submissions by Discretion9966.