I know the work involved with a pantoum and think you did well with the form. The use of roughed/stuffed seemed forced. I think if you just stick with rough, it is a close enough rhyme to stuffed to work without throwing your grammar off (using roughed instead of rough). You used a sight rhyme with thrust and burst, so the rhyming of rough and stuffed I think will work.
You might check a typo in line 3 (missing the word "one"). An excellent effort, with a little work the poem will be even stronger. Good work...
thats one hot and steamy poem...
A pantoum is a new poetic form to me. Had never heard of it before I read you use it, then googled it to find out more. An admirable attempt. You are quite the writer, exploring many different types of expression. I applaud your energy and ambition. I also found your topic interesting. I find Hard and Rough a bit of a juxtaposition in the sometimes delicate world of poetry - but that's just the point you may be trying to make - poetry is not delicate. It can often be graphic and hard-hitting. I'll have to try other pieces of your work.
Thanks for the introduction to this poetry format. Clever work and it added a dimension to the lilt and attractive of the theme.
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