F6: Love on the Boat

Yar

As Grace Kelly says in High Society of the boat True Love, 'my she was yar' - meaning "sleek, quick to the helm, everything a boat should be".
This is a slick, strong, well-written story with no typos; a sweet romance hidden in a twist in the tale. The words are very well integrated. First time sex and love - hot and fun.

Interesting use of yodeling

Yodeling and sex are not a natural fit. You put them together nicely. I liked the story within the story. I loved the CD ending, revealing the surprise. I wish there was a little more drama in the instory, but the ending made it worthwhile. Good work, FAWCKER.

The ending made getting there worth it. I had expected a different ending to the telling of teh story within a story, this just seemed to fizzle out until the CD line.Perhaps to little was made of teh fathers rage and their sadness at being parted. I enjoyed it for teh smile at the end.

Good Fawking!

Fun!

This was a fun story. I thought the tale within the tale (the yarn within the yarn?) was handled really well. I would have liked a bit more drama/conflict, like maybe more of what happened when they were caught, or Russ having to try harder to woo her, but the ending was a nice unexpected twist.

Nicely done

Smoothly written fun story. Believable characters in believable situations, although it could have stood more heat stirred in - more tension, more drama.Towards the end it seemed to fizzle out, and with the father discovering them it almost seemed like the author decided, OK, curtains. I confess to some fast forwarding, but then the nice little flip with the Slim Whitman CD was quite cute.

This is a very technically sound story. Solid writing throughout.

For me, the dialogue really stood out, particularly in the bar scenes. It flowed very well and brought those sections to life almost effortlessly.

I agree that there are some pacing issues in this story. Some parts feel a little bloated, and I found myself wanting to skim ahead, which is not a great impulse in such a short story. My suspension of disbelief was also challenged a little by the graphic sexual nature of the tale being told.

I am an extremely sexual person, very open, and basically unoffendable, but even I can't imagine being either the storyteller or the listener. I may talk to my make friends about sex, but never in such a sensual and graphic way. In public. Basically to a stranger. And people have heard him do this many times? "There goes Russ again, telling his explicit porno." It just wasn't believable for me.

Those are small issues, however. The writing was tight and the characters well rendered. A well-crafted story.

Author's name

The author who wrote this story is PennLady. Thanks for FAWCking!

Inventive and Fun

A really good ending makes the whole story. Good job, SA Penn Lady.

A Frame Story...!

A frame story. (Story within a story, like a picture frame.) Tricky and a bit old fashion. Not many try this anymore. But done well the are a fun read. Author and reader both aware that this is intentional entertainment. A dip of the pen to you Penn.