F6: Deidre

Strong background

A strong lead character and excellent back story.
The story falters on lack of plot direction. There's nothing to suggest why Chris would want to experience BDSM. He is looking for love and happens on a Mistress. You could probably say that right at the start: "I was looking for love and found a Mistress." or "I was looking for love and found pain - and the pleasure in pain." (Better put than that!) That way we are more invested in going through the string of relationships that didn't work out, to the one that's going to.
Some well-written scenes. Need a bit more to pull them together and give the story direction.

A lot of good writing in this one.

The main character is so well drawn and so likable, I feel as though I've met him. The problem I have with this one is that it almost felt like two separate stories. As much as I enjoyed hearing about his previous relationships, I didn't see how they led up to his BDSM relationship with Diedre. If the past relationships had broken up because there was something missing for him, the two halves of the story would have lined up better for me. I did appreciate the author mentioning that Bourque should have stayed in Boston! The Avs didn't deserve him. ;-) Awesome characters, FAWCker.

Fawking fun

I liked this one a lot. The background information gave me an insight into who this guy was and even in his most unlikable moments there was still something appealing about him. Some elements i found strange like the weirdly unsupportive parents and the whole relationship with Naoko but overall a well told and complete story.

Likeable, but I wanted more

I liked this story, it was well-written, and moved along. But I felt it only skimmed the surface of the story that wanted to be told. In a story called Deirdre, I wanted more of his relationship with her, why she came back to him after dumping him, why he was attracted to the BDSM lifestyle. It seemed maybe the former loves gone wrong could have been handled with less page space, or made more integral to why he and Deirdre worked so well together in the end. I thought the main character's voice was done very well, but the everyone else was just a sketch. Overall, well done!

glowing comments low score

Author must be in the wrong clique. Well written and hot scenes. Not really my cup of tea but it was enjoyable.

I thought this story was hot and sexy. The sex and theme were enjoyable to me, but I must confess to having a weakness for female domination. Oh, those powerful women. Get me every time.

There are, however, a lot of punctuation issues in this story. Enough to detract from the storytelling. At times, a bit of dialogue was a bit hilarious in an unintentional way (it almost seemed Irish in some places with all of the "me baby" and "me honey") and that's not something you want in the middle of a sex scene. That's not an attack on you. Everyone struggles with technical issues. Everyone. This is a great place to patch up leaky mechanics. An editor would really help. Not just one that replaces your work or tears you down (that's the wrong kind of editor for everyone) but someone who can help you not repeat a few nagging mistakes.

Furthermore, some of the language used is a tad sophomoric. You speak in extremes too often. You make heavy use of idioms and common phrases. This can be useful when striving for a colloquial tone, but, left unchecked, it can leave your writing weak and inexact.

Thank you for sharing. Very enjoyable.

Author's name

The author who wrote this story is Saxon_Hart. Thanks for FAWCking!

Dogshit.

Different

I see it progressively getting to b more and more. Sad

I liked it 😊

WHEN ONE HAS TO SING HIS OWN PRAISES

it doesn't bode well for the pair, TK U MLJ LV NV