F6: Slick's Swamp Shack

Sure didn't make me feel blue!

Love how this story plays with the music to turn us on. The homage to slyc is well worked and the four words are seamlessly woven in to the story - fab. My current favourite! :)

Very nice

The blues playing and history background are so well done. Nicely constructed story, and a sneaky appearance there at the end by Slyc. The words were well woven into the story. Very very few false notes, but "Bimmer" did bother me a bit - or maybe it's where I'm from. A terrific tribute to Slyc.

Beautiful tribute to Slyc

This story is so rich. The setting is perfect. The characters are fleshed out. I could practically hear the music as I read. I loved the use of the S words as character names. The ending is such a beautiful way to honor Slyc_Willie. I think this one is our winner. Excellent work, FAWCker!

Slicks and sweet

This perfectly fitted the idea of F6. I also thought the use of teh words as names was very clever. I don't really know or understand blues music so i got a bit lost with some of the terminology but other than that great fawcking job. :)

A note from the writer

Thank you, guys, for all the comments and stars. I hope y'all liked the ending! I was pushed for time to get this turned in. The original planned ending would have had Gabby and James's sex scene in the cot in the green room. The next morning they venture out to see that many happy customers had stayed and been having sex all night, now exhausted and spent. Bill is outside frying up a big southern breakfast for them all. How do y'all like the alternative ending? I think I would have had to move the polaroid reveal to the morning to keep its impact.

Fantastic!

What a great story. Wonderful atmosphere, believable character, the dialogue, the setting were all fantastic. The details and the superb word choices made this one shine. And the tribute to Slyc at the end really brought it home. I could have maybe done with fewer details in the music/guitar playing, it distracted me from the story at times. But in the end it made me want to pick up my own guitar, I haven't played it in ages. Really well done.

I saved this story for last because of the score. I wanted to scope out the others first, see if it deserved its place at the top.

It does.

It's the best story of the challenge by a pretty wide margin. I say that with no slight to the other tales, many of which were very good in their own right and some far more setup to be to my personal liking.

But this one is better almost across the board.

Firstly, the writing moves. Like the lyrics in the story, the sentences just saunter along, one after another, clever and full of worth, but without being bogged down by pretense or writerly intention. The whole thing is very clever, and plotted throughout with little tributes to Slyc and FAWC.

I was sure I'd hate the dialogue by the end, but it didn't. Dialect is a tricky thing, very tricky, and you did it well.

So often, faltering fiction ends up being some approximation of life, almost alive, just askew, like some soulless creature trying to impersonate a human. The movements are technically correct, the words aren't wrong, exactly, but something just isn't there. The gait just isn't natural.

But this one, this one can dance, and sing, and moan the blues. It's got enough complexity to be interesting, and enough simplicity to never be inaccessible.

It's not faultless, and there is some rushing and rewiring in there, I think. But it's clever, funny, memorable, touching, and far and way the winner of this challenge in my opinion.

Not that I put much stock in such things. Neither did Slyc. It was all about taking risks for him, and comraderie, sharing a passion for words and writing.

You clearly did that here. Nice job.

P.S. Lick Swamp Sack had me rolling.

Author's name

The author who wrote this story is Gorza. Well done! Thanks for FAWCking!

😍

Your story was wonderful on a couple of levels and it was all joined together seamlessly. Like it really happened. The quoting of the song lyrics was a stroke of genius! Well written and thank you.

WOW

What a great story, seamless flow, very well told. Thank you.

How could I not give high marks to someone who knows who Etta Baker is?

I lived close to Miss Etta, although by the time I got to know her music she was in her declining years. Could still hit a lick though. Your knowledge of the blues is impressive, driving me to listen to songs I hadn't thought of in years

Oh, and I really liked the story, the interplay between the words, the music, the time and the place setting the perfect scene. Etta would be proud.

Thanks for the read,

QHML1