A fourteen inch cock that cums for 40 seconds? What a novel concept!! Congratulations for conceiving such an original plot idea! Your story is dull and predictable, and the person perspective that you insist on using in your writing is awkward and does not flow well. The best I could manage with this effort is three stars.
by
Anonymous12/15/15
Something missing?
I didn't like this mainly because it's so full of typo/word usage errors. And there's something like a whole paragraph or more missing between these 2 items:
'He smiled proudly before answering. "14 inches."
It last minute or so seemed to be all a daze in your mind, possibly due to the lack of oxygen and first the first time having so much cock being shoved down your throat. You had felt his hands pull your mouth off his cock and your eyes opened up to the site of his enormousness staring right back at you. '
The 1st sentence of the 2nd paragraph above starts off badly, and there's something before that missing completely. Please get someone with editing skills to help re-work what could be a somewhat interesting piece. With all the errors, it's a downer to read.
And ... 14 inches? is there a "Complete Fantasy" section? I know there are real men with long tools, but really? it just sounds silly reading it.
Its not easy to follow at all, a nice enough concept for IR stories but you definitely need some editing skills. Hopefully the next part will be better in presentation.
English
crap
Yeah my cocks 12" but i dont use it as a rule
Ho hum…
A fourteen inch cock that cums for 40 seconds? What a novel concept!! Congratulations for conceiving such an original plot idea! Your story is dull and predictable, and the person perspective that you insist on using in your writing is awkward and does not flow well. The best I could manage with this effort is three stars.
Something missing?
I didn't like this mainly because it's so full of typo/word usage errors. And there's something like a whole paragraph or more missing between these 2 items:
'He smiled proudly before answering. "14 inches."
It last minute or so seemed to be all a daze in your mind, possibly due to the lack of oxygen and first the first time having so much cock being shoved down your throat. You had felt his hands pull your mouth off his cock and your eyes opened up to the site of his enormousness staring right back at you. '
The 1st sentence of the 2nd paragraph above starts off badly, and there's something before that missing completely. Please get someone with editing skills to help re-work what could be a somewhat interesting piece. With all the errors, it's a downer to read.
And ... 14 inches? is there a "Complete Fantasy" section? I know there are real men with long tools, but really? it just sounds silly reading it.
refinments!
Its not easy to follow at all, a nice enough concept for IR stories but you definitely need some editing skills. Hopefully the next part will be better in presentation.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Skin or
More submissions by SpoonerValdez.