Closes some loop holes, but still not the main one. Would have liked to see the communication gap closed. Instead, it just got further apart. These two are still looking outside of the marriage to address their problems. Seemed that not talking is what got them here, and they still continue that trend.
Instead of telling the husband about her therapist session, she gives permission to the therapist to answer his questions IN CASE HE FOUND OUT. On his side, he goes to the therapist to get answers instead of simply asking her.
The first conclusion that they both jump to is that the other is cheating. This assumption leads them to covertly seek answers instead of making do what they desperately need to do, which is to TALK TO EACH OTHER.
Not too optimistic about the future of this marriage. In my opinion, this chapter should have closed with them finally sitting down and laying all of their cards on the table.
but, to be fair to the author, he isn't finished telling the tale yet. I don't understand the rush that many have to see this story finished. I think the tags make it very clear this is a marriage of suspicion, hypnosis and reconciliation. Erotica plays a second roll in this tale. It's still an interesting read. The re-connection is still to come, or not. A well written tale of how lack of communication can make trouble for a marriage. Thanks.
by
Anonymous12/15/15
started strong, weak end
So many places this could have gone. The ending is too 'pat', too formulaic.
While you never use the "D" word to your spouse you can do other things to drive behavioral change. This quit just as it was getting good.
And how many women suddenly change their sexual repertoire? Few, I suspect.
I don't know if this is finished or not...but they have still a lot of issues to adress between them...And one of them is about their children...He says they are good children and that he and his wife had raised them right...I don't think so...I think their children are spoiled children, used to have all they want, whenever they want...That has to change too...And that is a job for both parents...finished or not, still a good reading... 3*
This is a good description of a disintegrating marriage. Typical of many marriages, once the wife had kids (hostages) she began to abuse her power in the relationship. She realized, as all women do, that she had her husband by the wallet, balls, and in the case where he cares about his kids - by the heart. Unfortunately, this strategy of controlling by force betrays a total lack of respect and of course love for her husband. So, now we know that she doesn't love him, never did, certainly does not respect him - we are left to ask, "why did she marry him?" The answer is clear as it is in most marriages - for the meal ticket! She sees him as many women see their husbands, as beasts of burden. They are there to sire the children, and then go out to the field and pull the plow day and night to bring home the green for her and her kids. Once the last kid is born, there is no need for sex anymore. There is also no need to put up with the smelly man in the bedroom or even the house anymore. The courts will make sure he continues to plow the fields and ships the green home for her and the kids. The shitty state of the family court system contributes to the woman's sense of entitlement and the corruption of marriages.
So at the end of this installment we have a husband who wants to go have a talk with his wife. What about? What is there to say? Her actions have said it all. No love, no respect, perhaps a bit of fear of being left alone when the hostages are freed. Fuck domestic terrorists. He will fuck around, if only because she has worn his bonds of love away. Logic will not let you love a person who does not love or respect you. Eventually, he will find companionship with someone who actually likes him and she will play the martyr in her senior years.
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Anonymous12/15/15
Very good
Didn't comment on the first part because I didn't know where it was going. This was very good. I thought you filled the gaps nicely. HDK is wrong on this. I thought the conversation with the counselor was very enlightening. So it isn't a stroke story. I'd rather read a good story. Don't end it here. I want to read the conversation between the couple and see how they move forward. Hopefully, they learn to talk, not blindly react. Good job. Finish this and write another. I'll read it. After all the disgusting crap over the last couple of days, this was a welcome breath of fresh air.
This woman had to be HYPNOTIZED to have oral sex with her husband, even after she desperately thinks she's losing him. He is absolutely just a meal ticket to her; if he can live with that, then fine.
in the second chapter that she used the Socratic method. Google it. " In Socratic teaching we focus on giving students questions, not answers." In this chapter, she couldn't answer questions fast enough. The husband used the Socratic method and the therapist did most of the answering. I just feel that therapists do not answer questions like this one did. They usually pose questions and allow the patient to arrive at conclusions as they respond to the questions. Once she started talking, she couldn't reveal enough, fast enough. Seems unprofessional to me.
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Anonymous12/15/15
Bang the Doctor
Just be a man. Stand up and grab the Doctor by the lapels and force feed her your cock. She's obviously a horny bitch to hypnotize the wife into a cock swallowing slut so fuck her like one. Bang her to the couch and tell her you'll be back next week after she's taught wifey to rim your ass.
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Anonymous12/15/15
i agree with sugna, this marriage is already toast, just not burned yet
the wife is, like my told me of most women, is a commercial enterprise, where the wife is a live in prostitute doling out sex as needed to keep her lifestyle and as necessary to raise her offspring. Whether the man is the gene donor of the offspring isn't important. Another interesting thing my wife told me was most females have interest in one type of man to breed her and a totally different type of man to protect and raise her brood. It sounds very much in this marriage this woman is one of these kinds of women and a real question arises is whether or not the children in this story are actually his own children. The wife has for years heaped piles of disrespect, disaffection, manipulation, and financial pressure on her husband using children and divorce law as her weapons. Sorry this marriage is toast, so what if she can now suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, let her use in on her next stepping stone husband. What and how the counselor acted was a best unprofessional and a worst an attempt again to manipulate the poor husband.
Elenriel, dont know who you are, as you have come out of left field
but you have taken the LW category by a storm in December. Two fives in a row, dont think that has happened for me except for hall of fame writers (you can see just by going down the top rated list).
I'm sure there are times when you are right, but this story doesn't seem to be one of those occasions.
BTW, if your non-loving wife prefers one guy to donate the breeding, and a different guy to donate the nurturing, which are you? I think we all know.
You're the lousy negotiator stuck paying for someone else's progeny, paying multiple ways every day for what you get a for a few minutes twice a month. Even loan sharks give better value than you're getting from your wife.
To the author: thanks for evening out a rough spot or two. I didn't find this installment necessary (Needed?) but helpful. Having husband go to the therapist enables him to have less suspicion in beginning the reconciliation process.
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Anonymous12/15/15
This worked for me.
While I usually agree with most comments on the quality stories, I find I'm much more impressed with the author's plot and dialogue than many others have expressed.
The counselor did most of the talking: The husband did not come for counseling, he came for answers about his wife's counseling, and the therapist had been given permission to play this role by his wife.
There are many forms of communication, and up to this point this marriage worked because husband and wife were able to interact and understand each other adequately to have a successful, if not always happy and honest, marriage. I think that would work when both spouses are headed in the same general direction with the same values and goals. That all changed with the promotion event. The promotion event brought to the surface the reality that while cooperation can be unspoken and presumed, conflict and disagreement has to be debated with open honest and detailed communication and understanding. That need and practice appears to be new to their marriage relationship.
But is should not be new to them individually. Both spouses appear to be very adept and successful in their professions, he as businessman and she as home manager and mother. Both of those professions require detailed open negotiation, he with business associates, she with their children and support personnel, such as repairmen, medical providers, and educational providers. Both husband and wife have the experience and ability to have open honest detailed communication. But for some reason it appears they have not conducted their marriage relationship with those principles. I think this story takes us to the point where they both can now see the need to change their relationship dynamic. And most importantly, it appears they both really really want their marriage to continue, and be mutually happy. I see no support at all for the contention that this marriage is over. Just the opposite, I see the beginning of a new, higher level of communication and understanding. They should see that before long the children will be independent, and they need to start now deciding how their future partnership will work. I think this story leaves us at a place where they are ready and willing to start that discussion.
Bravo. So much better and more meaningful than most of your previous work. Thank you for your time and talent.
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Anonymous12/15/15
how
stupid can stories be read this it is garbage, one comment had it in the hall of fame, scary to think of.
chapter. I still find the wife to be a somewhat unsatisfactory individual over all. She still doesn't feel the need to "talk" to her husband choosing in fact to have him still try to "sus" out the motivation and her attempts to come to grips with her idea of their marriage. Causing him to have to peruse the credit card bills to find out where the money is going is not conducive to any kind of reconciliation. He is still left with the fact that she doesn't think enough of him to even tell him about her efforts to get back in his good graces. Is this just another form of manipulation and "mind control" on her part? Appears to be and she now has the best assistant money can buy, her own pet therapist. And unless that therapist furnished a dick for her to practice sucking she could "know" all of the techniques in the world and still, in practice, be clumsy in her application of that knowledge. I do like the fact that you allowed the therapist to be open and honest with him, as much as they can, and talk about his wife's sessions. Wifey has confided in two people instead of her husband about her thoughts and desires for him, therapist and co-conspirator from when he first walked into the house.
Your writing is top shelf and the flow is good. I think you know where you want to go with the story and you are just squeezing out the clues a bit at a time. Hubby is already lower than whale shit, in his mind, in the hierarchy of his marriage and more manipulation is just going to dig him in deeper. If the wife doesn't back off on her need to force him into her way of thinking you might as well just "cuck" him now or give him a chance to take another promotion in another city, this time by himself. The definition of not having a clue is doing the same thing, over and over, and expecting a different result each time.
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Anonymous12/15/15
Is any man THAT stupid?
His wife and HER therapist are playing him. Leading him along the trail they want him to follow. Making him believe. His wife has spent her entire life controlling and manipulating him. She's followed the bitch wife playbook. Lead him along, give him a little, unemotional sex as a reward for doing her bidding and then moving him down the garden path. When he wants to do something for himself, something that he's worked his whole life towards (the promotion) she sandbags him with their kids and just tells him "no". You seem to think that after spending all that money on a PI and spending all her time in another attempt to control his behavior, that he's just going to sit down, have a "long talk" with her and all is going to be forgiven and that everything will be alright. Better for him to take the promotion and leave his manipulative wife and self centered kids at home. Better to support them in place, move himself to a small apartment, eat his own cooking and be HAPPY with his life than to stay under the control of a shrew and her therapist. Badly conceived, poorly told and both implausible and unbelievable even for fiction (Hypnotize her to enjoy oral sex and swallowing? That was funny shit! If she had that talent, she'd be a billionaire.). Not a good story. And unfinished to boot! 1 star.
dude if you think this marriage is still viable you are an idiot .
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Anonymous12/15/15
The best description I can come up with
Is that this was boring.
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Anonymous12/15/15
I am almost beyond words
The story isn't perfect, it isn't ment to be, it is a story. The characters are not perfect but I can find them believeable enough for a story. But the concept of finding ORIGINAL THOUGHT in a LW story has me doing a happy dance. I rated this story 5's in every chapter, and that has never happened before. Since you don't know me you do not know what high praise that is. I must stop now a read all of you other stories. Thank you so much for your efforts.
anonymous jerry
And there are something like 3.5 billion women out there. Probably 2 billion of them know how to suck a cock and are WILLING to suck a cock without hypnosis. Because they love their partners. Or they feel it is a necessary sacrifice. Or they just want them to shut up about it. But they feel SOMETHING and are sacrificing SOMETHING without external interference (save for pimps, for example)
But the biggest plot hole in the story for me is this: Essentially everyone knows about patient client privilege. This was, on it's face, a wasted trip. He should not even have made it. And the idea that his wife ANTICIPATED his discovering her AND being stupid enough to approach her for answers...well...let's just say my thoughts go in different (male) directions.
"So...counselor. My wife is so uninvolved in my life that she can't think of any way to be more loving on her own, and she is paying you to help her disassociate so she can stand to have sex with me. Like...quitting smoking. Except I am the cigarette she is forcing herself to smoke with hypnotism. And honestly...sounds like you are both jerking me around. She can't tell me the truth or try anything on her own...and here you are to plead her case for her in the odd event I ever discover you. So, I have to wonder how honest you are being with me. She thinks a few whore tricks are going to make me 'important'. Sounds like she just wants to mollify me so I don't kick up a fuss. Six thousand dollars huh? That would just about cover that fishing boat I was told we couldn't afford. I see how this is working..."
Dear Elenriel,
If you decide to keep this story going, perhaps the counsellor should change method from Socratic to Cognitive.
One of the techniques used by cognitive therapists is to give clients 'homework'; tasks which require the clients to practice new behaviours. A few such tasks would get this couple working on the communication deficit discussed in an earlier comment by Javmor and could provide an interesting twist to your story.
"Oh, Doctor, I still love him!" Crap!! Her concern was about him getting away from her - not about his feeling of satisfaction with his life. If he had gone to a male therapist, he would have gotten advice like "You have to make a decision. Either suck it up and let yourself be manipulated and used or change the mood around yourself. You worked like crazy to achieve your goal of promotion and more responsibility and she crapped all over the idea because it was inconvenient for her and the kids. What is SHE going to do when the kids are gone? She doesn't trust you - she'll be out the door with half the goodies saying 'Ta Ta - thanks for all this.'"
This marriage IS toast. He needs to take the legal punishment now - it isn't going to get easier for him if he waits.
but it was a pretty anti-climatic story and i know it was your first submission but if you do more i would recommend not submitting till each chapter you atleast have an outline prepared because i could only vaguely remember the last chapter
"But neither of you has done anything unforgivable." um this is a joke right ?
There are two things I want to say about the story - FIRST as the story itself in terms of the author skill and how the story actually moves and develops SECOND about the plot and characters
Of the three chapters of the story so far I would have to say this is the best of the three. The conversation between the husband who wants some answers and the therapist who is willing to give them some information was well done. More over the husband's deduction about his wife-- that he finally figured out why he was withdrawing from the family and from her-- shows that this husband/ man actually has of fully functional brain and is quite intelligent. Again this is very well done by the author as we all know that in many of these LW stories the husband is portrayed as a intelligent successful person but usually comes across as a blithering idiot
That being said If I see one more comment about how this story is about communication problem between husband and wife- I am going to go outside and kick someone's dog. This story is NOT about a the lack of communication between the husband and wife.
People who make that sort of assertion are usually trying to show how both sides have contributed to a breakdown in the marital relations, which is often true. But in this story to the best my knowledge the husband did nothing wrong.
NOTHING.
He was offered a major promotion at work because of his professional work abilities and the wife and kids teamed up to SHIT all over him. The reaction by the wife and the kids might be justified if the husband wants to move the entire family across country based on a whim or a possible job or what have you. But as the primary breadwinner and provider his ideas and views or not even considered.
This told husband something VERY important about the nature of his relationship with his wife and as the father and head of household. Specifically it told him that he is not the head of household and that his opinions and values are absolutely meaningless meaningless. In other words he is essentially trapped by the wife and kids
His course of action to withdraw from the family and wife and kids is the only logical alternative and rational course of action. It may not be the best thing for the marriage / family but his reaction ONLY came about because of what was done and said to him. He cannot be held at fault here.
But what makes matters even worse is how the wife reacted to what appear to be a developing crisis of the marriage. When she saw significant changes in the husband's behavior and attitudes she had several ways to react. The fact that she reacted with suspicion and engaged in manipulation and deceit is why this marriage cannot survive.
There is 2ndary issue here which is appears to be over looked by most people/ readers. Clearly the primary issue or catalyst which started everything was the rejection by the wife and the family of the important job promotion. But equally important is how the wife reacted to the crisis in the marriage that she saw developing with her husband.
Nothing speaks louder about WHO she is... what she thinks and her values as a person and as a wife than the way she reacted to this crisis.
The maintenance sex issue is VERY serious
There is nothing desirable or sexy or appealing with regard to HOW she reacted to this and the methods she used. I have my doubts as to whether not this aspect of the story is going to be solved or talked about in great detail.
I am afraid that the author is going to spend most of time talking about the Job Promotion issues with little emphasis on the wife's character and integrity and how she handled the crisis
Neither of them are talking to each other. Instead, they are talking to other people and taking it upon themselves to help their individual cause. I disagree with Harry and a few others who feel that this is something more than simple miscommunication.
The husband is hurt by his family. So he starts to withdraw into himself. Take it from one who has tried this, no man can be an island to himself. It works for a while, but sooner or later you miss your family. You miss the love that you guys had. Most people are judging the love of the family by one event. He had a job, they didn't want him to take it. By this they assertain that no one loves or respects him. Most of us with families know that one snapshot on a bad day is never the entire picture. So to think that they didn't love him or care about him at all based on one event is judgemental. Kids are naturally selfish and narcissitic. The world revolves around them. They eventually grow out of that, but during this time in their lives that is how they are. That doesn't mean that they don't love their father. As for the wife, she is really a woman who took her husband for granted. Doesn't mean that she doesn't love him or shoud be jettisoned. After so many years of marriage, the couple tends to take each other for granted. That's life. Then, something wakes them up and makes them look at things from a different point of view. That is what happened here. Not unforgivable.
What is sad is the lack of communication. The impulse to go seek answers alone instead of together. Their first session should have been as a COUPLE. They should have first gone when he felt the urge to withdraw. The next opportunity to go as a couple was when she thought he was cheating, yet had no evidence to support her claims. The final time to go was when she finally saw the truth and realized what danger her marriage was in. Instead of fighting together, like husband and wife are supposed to do, these two internalize all of their crap and spy on each other.
The fact that she had to be hypnotized to suck dick is irrelevant to me. There are women who don't enjoy it. That doesn't make them selfish monsters. There are many men who don't enjoy eating pussy. The fact that she went out to get hypnotized to be able to do it shows commitment. She found a solution to give her husband what he wanted. She CHOSE to try to overcome her dislike and discomfort to please him. If she didn't care about him, she wouldn't have been in the counselor's office in the first place. She would just have divorced him and took half of everything, and recieved alimony.
This marriage is worth saving, but their lack of communiation and trust is going to kill them if they don't take care of it. No amount of blowjobs or kinky sex is going to fix that issue. No counselor is going to solve that problem for them. All of the other issues that they have going are symptoms of the problem, but not the problem itself. They can't simply address the symptoms and expect to fix the problem.
The problem didn't start with sex. It was Lisa's actions after six months of Lars' new behavior that brought sex into play . Yet, the therapist's advice is then that some professional grade fellatio is the very first priority (rather than say, talking honestly with her husband). I imagine that if Lisa had gone back to her friends she would also have been advised to manipulate him with sex. Only they wouldn't have charged by the hour.
Do other people appreciate the irony of the Lars' reaction to his Lisa's swallowing? While the therapist had seemed to suggest that the jealousy strategy had large "disadvantages", their sex plan only worked because it accidently made him jealous.
By the way, I disagree with every commenter who feels that Lisa is a bad person. She is totally into her family and her home and has been selfish and lazy about her marriage. I've lived my life like her and I don't consider myself a bad person, just a very foolish one.
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Anonymous12/15/15
Harryin VA
Harryin VA said all that needs to be said, He hit the nail right on the head.
by
Anonymous12/15/15
Will the married people be minority in the future?
LOL It may be in the near future the high% of the married people will be the homosexual people only. (I agree the gay marriage........)
I read something future possibilty the 25% of the 45-50 years old people will be married 15-20 years later, the more people bachelor, bachelorette, divorced, widow or widower. .......Will the single state be the future for the next heterosexual generation?
We read the Loving Wives stories when the future is less and less married people!
I mentioned an interesting survay among the 25-30 years old male people what is their opinion about the marriage and why they avoid it?
The 3 first answers are very interesting and Loving Wives related.
1. These men are afraid of the bastard kids in family for the high level cheating. Interesting LW related opinion.
2. The 25-30 years old men opinion the married men have disadvantage in the job. Interesting.
3. The media from Hollywood to the Literotica show the husband role in negative method.
The cuckold stories the best examples..........
Next interesting thing. I read an interesting summary of a survay about the American 25-30 years old male generation they arrive into the life totally burned out to be unable any romantic emotion.
Hollywood tries one and two (very weak) steps to show something other and LITEROTICA also could step into that direction with an new Marriage Strife hub!
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Anonymous12/15/15
Is the love in the marriage going to be enough...
Others have already alluded to it but what happens long term?
Both said they love each other and I think they will find a way to rekindle the love short term but what happens over time? He turned down a promotion for which he had been working 20 years and we all know that his trajectory is now dead in the company. When is the resentment going to kick in? His wife and kids got the status quo they wanted. Is the wife smart enough to realize that she is going to have to do an awful lot to make up for her earlier selfish behavior?
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Anonymous12/16/15
This works for real
I have done exactly what is described here (except there was no councillor included). helped me a lot in getting a better mindset for dealing with a dominant wife.
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Anonymous12/16/15
Well okay, but...
Okay, everybody knows what everybody else is doing. No body is cheating. Good. Four stars for this installment, a bit less than that for the series through Ch 3.
But now what? Hubby and wifey still have not directly communicated. What happens when the next promotion out of town comes up? How does that decision get made with all this BATNA shift taking place? How does the BATNA shift, perceptions about the BATNA shift, and the wife's new giving spirit impact the relationship in the mean time?
Not sure if you intend to end the story here or not, but if you do minus 1 star for "incomplete" work.
I think HarryInVa is right about this. The issue that needs to be resolved is not the couple's sex life. The issue that must be addressed is the husband's long term disappointment, bitterness and depression over how his family denied him an incredibly important life goal. This issue isn't anything that is going to be resolved through oral sex. It will require years of work for the husband to overcome the depths of despair that this sort of incident produces.
I think the portrayal of the husband in this chapter is unrealistic. A follow up chapter is required in which the therapist gets a clue and starts to work on the couple's real problem.
Although this chapter is really only needed to fix the problems created in the previous one because the counselor didn't immediately rush both of these people into couples counseling.
I've been reading the comments from the three published chapters so far. Kind of interesting. There are the cut-and-dried marriage is dead and she's a *($*&*%^%,
the wait and see crowd and a couple more other groups. Marriage is not for the weak, faint-of-heart, or the rigid. Marriages end when a partner cannot see the other changing. It is not always good, or bad. When both parties can and do invest in each other, there is a chance for it to continue. Ask any honest married individual. They will all speak of rough spots where walking away was the preferred option -- no matter what the cost was. They will talk about taking each other for granted, or just being totally pissed at the other and not maintaining the marriage. I liked the 'maintenance sex'. I call it masterbating in a vagina. It's real, for both parties. Why does it get this way? Part of the human condition. We all fuck up some times.
In my extended family, this was true for some individuals as their spouses were incapable of recommitting. There have also been marriages that worked it out. It's fucking messy and requires much of the partners. In this story, they both, flawed individuals at best, appear to want to try? Let's trust the author to develop the story that is both believable
a couple of points -- FIRST I agree with you that as you said " neither of them are talking to each other. Instead, they are talking to other people and taking it upon themselves to help their individual cause. "
But because they are doing the same thing you clearly view the husband 's actions/ behavior as equally culpable as the wife's. This is delusional. Of course given how most of your LW stories go ....I am not surprised you have this distorted view of the world. But you are just flat out wrong.
Yes I will agree that the husband s's reaction about his teenage kids was off. They are Kids and all teenagers around the world are self centered ...so good point
And yes it is true that No one can be an island and his reaction may not have been wise. But his reaction was 10000000% started/ triggered by the wife. Somehow you seem to think that because the husband reaction to how his wife and family handle the job promotion offer was unwise .... it means he was or is in the wrong as much as the wife. Sorry dude this is NOT really a communication issue
In fact your defense of the wife is delusional because you are not focusing on what the wife's actions MEAN
YES we all take our spouses for granted -- OCCASIONALLY. But that is the key word. Doing that all the time is NOT love. The wife's open admission of
" maintenance sex" strongly implies she had been taking her husband for granted for YEARS.
then amazingly you wrote this then seem to ignore it in the story!?
..." The impulse to go seek answers alone instead of together. Their first session should have been as a COUPLE. They should have first gone when he felt the urge to withdraw. The next opportunity to go as a couple was when she thought he was cheating, yet had no evidence to support her claims"
oh my god how do you not see this? the ONLY reason they did not go s a couple was because of the WIFE's actions and behavior!!!! .
" The fact that she had to be hypnotized to suck dick is irrelevant to me. " Again that is what I was REALLY talking about and you know it . In fact you do admit that " No amount of blowjobs or kinky sex is going to fix that issue."
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Anonymous12/16/15
Hey Javmor79 - get a fucking clue. Are you as brain-dead as you drivel out these pathetic excuses for analysis?
Idiot! HV was on point to identify your piss-poor comprehension of the plot & character development. Really Javmor79- are that retarded or IQ damaged?
His relationship with the kids hasn't changed, because his kids didn't really disappoint him. He had expected them to react negatively to the prospect of relocating because that's what kids do. It's his wife who he feels pulled the rug out from under him, because she made zero effort to back him up and help get the kids to see the bigger picture for the family. So he decided to depend on her less, not because he intends to leave her, but because depending on her less means less risk of future disappointment.
Yes the wife's behavior started the whole thing, but that doesn't mean that it is only up to her to fix it. Marriage is about both people. Each person in it is responsible for their own actions. When your spouse hurts you, you address it. If each person tries this quid pro quo approach, then you end up with to unhappy people.
Yes I see things differently from you, but that is because when I get shit on, my first thought is "how do I avoid this again?" You can't change other people, but you can change yourself. I don't sit around and think about how this person is so wrong for doing this to me. I look at what actions I have done to add to this scenario. Then I avoid those actions in the future.
In this case, I would have approached her and gone to counseling about her rejection of my job. She started it, but he alone controls his reaction. There are two approaches to life. You can be right, or you can fix the problem. Me, I would much rather fix my problem than feel I have a right to react a certain way.
I don't think this is delusional.
Another point you made was about the blowjob, but I'm not sure what that point was. To me the blow job was a non factor. Her having to be hypnotized was another non factor. This is not their main problem. Their problem is that they don't communicate. Both are more concerned with being right than they are with fixing the issue. They both became suspicious of the other person and failed to approach each other. It isn't justified for one side and unjustified for the other. If you spend your entire marriage trying to assign blame then it is going to be miserable. Both people's approach should be to do what is best for the marriage.
Yes people take each other for granted. This was a case in which she did it to him. But something always wakes them up and makes then realize their mistake. Is that not what happened here? Needing to be right will have a person say "I don't forgive you because you shouldn't have done it in the first place". Fixing the situation will say, "You hurt me. Let's figure out a way to not let this happen again".
English
Long winded, dude, just end it already.
Good Finish***
Thanks for sharing.
Still like it, though more holes exist.
Closes some loop holes, but still not the main one. Would have liked to see the communication gap closed. Instead, it just got further apart. These two are still looking outside of the marriage to address their problems. Seemed that not talking is what got them here, and they still continue that trend.
Instead of telling the husband about her therapist session, she gives permission to the therapist to answer his questions IN CASE HE FOUND OUT. On his side, he goes to the therapist to get answers instead of simply asking her.
The first conclusion that they both jump to is that the other is cheating. This assumption leads them to covertly seek answers instead of making do what they desperately need to do, which is to TALK TO EACH OTHER.
Not too optimistic about the future of this marriage. In my opinion, this chapter should have closed with them finally sitting down and laying all of their cards on the table.
Question
Is this over? There's too many questions to properly rate this. So I ask again. Is this over?
no rating
1*
Sorry. Liked the first one but this socratic blablabla gets very boring very fast. And no sex in this one either.
In this chapter, the councilor
does most of the talking and answers more questions than the husband. Her style has become, blab, blab, blab.
javmor79 has a point
but, to be fair to the author, he isn't finished telling the tale yet. I don't understand the rush that many have to see this story finished. I think the tags make it very clear this is a marriage of suspicion, hypnosis and reconciliation. Erotica plays a second roll in this tale. It's still an interesting read. The re-connection is still to come, or not. A well written tale of how lack of communication can make trouble for a marriage. Thanks.
started strong, weak end
So many places this could have gone. The ending is too 'pat', too formulaic.
While you never use the "D" word to your spouse you can do other things to drive behavioral change. This quit just as it was getting good.
And how many women suddenly change their sexual repertoire? Few, I suspect.
I don't know if this is finished or not...but...
I don't know if this is finished or not...but they have still a lot of issues to adress between them...And one of them is about their children...He says they are good children and that he and his wife had raised them right...I don't think so...I think their children are spoiled children, used to have all they want, whenever they want...That has to change too...And that is a job for both parents...finished or not, still a good reading... 3*
Okay
This is a good description of a disintegrating marriage. Typical of many marriages, once the wife had kids (hostages) she began to abuse her power in the relationship. She realized, as all women do, that she had her husband by the wallet, balls, and in the case where he cares about his kids - by the heart. Unfortunately, this strategy of controlling by force betrays a total lack of respect and of course love for her husband. So, now we know that she doesn't love him, never did, certainly does not respect him - we are left to ask, "why did she marry him?" The answer is clear as it is in most marriages - for the meal ticket! She sees him as many women see their husbands, as beasts of burden. They are there to sire the children, and then go out to the field and pull the plow day and night to bring home the green for her and her kids. Once the last kid is born, there is no need for sex anymore. There is also no need to put up with the smelly man in the bedroom or even the house anymore. The courts will make sure he continues to plow the fields and ships the green home for her and the kids. The shitty state of the family court system contributes to the woman's sense of entitlement and the corruption of marriages.
So at the end of this installment we have a husband who wants to go have a talk with his wife. What about? What is there to say? Her actions have said it all. No love, no respect, perhaps a bit of fear of being left alone when the hostages are freed. Fuck domestic terrorists. He will fuck around, if only because she has worn his bonds of love away. Logic will not let you love a person who does not love or respect you. Eventually, he will find companionship with someone who actually likes him and she will play the martyr in her senior years.
Very good
Didn't comment on the first part because I didn't know where it was going. This was very good. I thought you filled the gaps nicely. HDK is wrong on this. I thought the conversation with the counselor was very enlightening. So it isn't a stroke story. I'd rather read a good story. Don't end it here. I want to read the conversation between the couple and see how they move forward. Hopefully, they learn to talk, not blindly react. Good job. Finish this and write another. I'll read it. After all the disgusting crap over the last couple of days, this was a welcome breath of fresh air.
Interesting, But Still...
This woman had to be HYPNOTIZED to have oral sex with her husband, even after she desperately thinks she's losing him. He is absolutely just a meal ticket to her; if he can live with that, then fine.
Lamentably
Lamentably, these two have a long way to go.
Perhaps I was unclear. The lady councilor stated
in the second chapter that she used the Socratic method. Google it. " In Socratic teaching we focus on giving students questions, not answers." In this chapter, she couldn't answer questions fast enough. The husband used the Socratic method and the therapist did most of the answering. I just feel that therapists do not answer questions like this one did. They usually pose questions and allow the patient to arrive at conclusions as they respond to the questions. Once she started talking, she couldn't reveal enough, fast enough. Seems unprofessional to me.
Bang the Doctor
Just be a man. Stand up and grab the Doctor by the lapels and force feed her your cock. She's obviously a horny bitch to hypnotize the wife into a cock swallowing slut so fuck her like one. Bang her to the couch and tell her you'll be back next week after she's taught wifey to rim your ass.
i agree with sugna, this marriage is already toast, just not burned yet
the wife is, like my told me of most women, is a commercial enterprise, where the wife is a live in prostitute doling out sex as needed to keep her lifestyle and as necessary to raise her offspring. Whether the man is the gene donor of the offspring isn't important. Another interesting thing my wife told me was most females have interest in one type of man to breed her and a totally different type of man to protect and raise her brood. It sounds very much in this marriage this woman is one of these kinds of women and a real question arises is whether or not the children in this story are actually his own children. The wife has for years heaped piles of disrespect, disaffection, manipulation, and financial pressure on her husband using children and divorce law as her weapons. Sorry this marriage is toast, so what if she can now suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, let her use in on her next stepping stone husband. What and how the counselor acted was a best unprofessional and a worst an attempt again to manipulate the poor husband.
Elenriel, dont know who you are, as you have come out of left field
but you have taken the LW category by a storm in December. Two fives in a row, dont think that has happened for me except for hall of fame writers (you can see just by going down the top rated list).
Eager to see more from you....
Re: Anonny and 'toast'
I'm sure there are times when you are right, but this story doesn't seem to be one of those occasions.
BTW, if your non-loving wife prefers one guy to donate the breeding, and a different guy to donate the nurturing, which are you? I think we all know.
You're the lousy negotiator stuck paying for someone else's progeny, paying multiple ways every day for what you get a for a few minutes twice a month. Even loan sharks give better value than you're getting from your wife.
To the author: thanks for evening out a rough spot or two. I didn't find this installment necessary (Needed?) but helpful. Having husband go to the therapist enables him to have less suspicion in beginning the reconciliation process.
This worked for me.
While I usually agree with most comments on the quality stories, I find I'm much more impressed with the author's plot and dialogue than many others have expressed.
The counselor did most of the talking: The husband did not come for counseling, he came for answers about his wife's counseling, and the therapist had been given permission to play this role by his wife.
There are many forms of communication, and up to this point this marriage worked because husband and wife were able to interact and understand each other adequately to have a successful, if not always happy and honest, marriage. I think that would work when both spouses are headed in the same general direction with the same values and goals. That all changed with the promotion event. The promotion event brought to the surface the reality that while cooperation can be unspoken and presumed, conflict and disagreement has to be debated with open honest and detailed communication and understanding. That need and practice appears to be new to their marriage relationship.
But is should not be new to them individually. Both spouses appear to be very adept and successful in their professions, he as businessman and she as home manager and mother. Both of those professions require detailed open negotiation, he with business associates, she with their children and support personnel, such as repairmen, medical providers, and educational providers. Both husband and wife have the experience and ability to have open honest detailed communication. But for some reason it appears they have not conducted their marriage relationship with those principles. I think this story takes us to the point where they both can now see the need to change their relationship dynamic. And most importantly, it appears they both really really want their marriage to continue, and be mutually happy. I see no support at all for the contention that this marriage is over. Just the opposite, I see the beginning of a new, higher level of communication and understanding. They should see that before long the children will be independent, and they need to start now deciding how their future partnership will work. I think this story leaves us at a place where they are ready and willing to start that discussion.
Bravo. So much better and more meaningful than most of your previous work. Thank you for your time and talent.
how
stupid can stories be read this it is garbage, one comment had it in the hall of fame, scary to think of.
This is a first
I actually thought the counselor was worth a damn! Socratic method, facts, instead of feelings; good job!
Good possible transition
chapter. I still find the wife to be a somewhat unsatisfactory individual over all. She still doesn't feel the need to "talk" to her husband choosing in fact to have him still try to "sus" out the motivation and her attempts to come to grips with her idea of their marriage. Causing him to have to peruse the credit card bills to find out where the money is going is not conducive to any kind of reconciliation. He is still left with the fact that she doesn't think enough of him to even tell him about her efforts to get back in his good graces. Is this just another form of manipulation and "mind control" on her part? Appears to be and she now has the best assistant money can buy, her own pet therapist. And unless that therapist furnished a dick for her to practice sucking she could "know" all of the techniques in the world and still, in practice, be clumsy in her application of that knowledge. I do like the fact that you allowed the therapist to be open and honest with him, as much as they can, and talk about his wife's sessions. Wifey has confided in two people instead of her husband about her thoughts and desires for him, therapist and co-conspirator from when he first walked into the house.
Your writing is top shelf and the flow is good. I think you know where you want to go with the story and you are just squeezing out the clues a bit at a time. Hubby is already lower than whale shit, in his mind, in the hierarchy of his marriage and more manipulation is just going to dig him in deeper. If the wife doesn't back off on her need to force him into her way of thinking you might as well just "cuck" him now or give him a chance to take another promotion in another city, this time by himself. The definition of not having a clue is doing the same thing, over and over, and expecting a different result each time.
Is any man THAT stupid?
His wife and HER therapist are playing him. Leading him along the trail they want him to follow. Making him believe. His wife has spent her entire life controlling and manipulating him. She's followed the bitch wife playbook. Lead him along, give him a little, unemotional sex as a reward for doing her bidding and then moving him down the garden path. When he wants to do something for himself, something that he's worked his whole life towards (the promotion) she sandbags him with their kids and just tells him "no". You seem to think that after spending all that money on a PI and spending all her time in another attempt to control his behavior, that he's just going to sit down, have a "long talk" with her and all is going to be forgiven and that everything will be alright. Better for him to take the promotion and leave his manipulative wife and self centered kids at home. Better to support them in place, move himself to a small apartment, eat his own cooking and be HAPPY with his life than to stay under the control of a shrew and her therapist. Badly conceived, poorly told and both implausible and unbelievable even for fiction (Hypnotize her to enjoy oral sex and swallowing? That was funny shit! If she had that talent, she'd be a billionaire.). Not a good story. And unfinished to boot! 1 star.
To Anonymous this worked for me
dude if you think this marriage is still viable you are an idiot .
The best description I can come up with
Is that this was boring.
I am almost beyond words
The story isn't perfect, it isn't ment to be, it is a story. The characters are not perfect but I can find them believeable enough for a story. But the concept of finding ORIGINAL THOUGHT in a LW story has me doing a happy dance. I rated this story 5's in every chapter, and that has never happened before. Since you don't know me you do not know what high praise that is. I must stop now a read all of you other stories. Thank you so much for your efforts.
anonymous jerry
Back to the things I said before.
There is not conflict, so there is no story.
Him: "I want my wife to love me more."
Her: "Your wife wants to love you more."
Um..
And there are something like 3.5 billion women out there. Probably 2 billion of them know how to suck a cock and are WILLING to suck a cock without hypnosis. Because they love their partners. Or they feel it is a necessary sacrifice. Or they just want them to shut up about it. But they feel SOMETHING and are sacrificing SOMETHING without external interference (save for pimps, for example)
But the biggest plot hole in the story for me is this: Essentially everyone knows about patient client privilege. This was, on it's face, a wasted trip. He should not even have made it. And the idea that his wife ANTICIPATED his discovering her AND being stupid enough to approach her for answers...well...let's just say my thoughts go in different (male) directions.
"So...counselor. My wife is so uninvolved in my life that she can't think of any way to be more loving on her own, and she is paying you to help her disassociate so she can stand to have sex with me. Like...quitting smoking. Except I am the cigarette she is forcing herself to smoke with hypnotism. And honestly...sounds like you are both jerking me around. She can't tell me the truth or try anything on her own...and here you are to plead her case for her in the odd event I ever discover you. So, I have to wonder how honest you are being with me. She thinks a few whore tricks are going to make me 'important'. Sounds like she just wants to mollify me so I don't kick up a fuss. Six thousand dollars huh? That would just about cover that fishing boat I was told we couldn't afford. I see how this is working..."
I mean, how honest has this woman been thus far?
Time for a change of therapeutic technique
Dear Elenriel,
If you decide to keep this story going, perhaps the counsellor should change method from Socratic to Cognitive.
One of the techniques used by cognitive therapists is to give clients 'homework'; tasks which require the clients to practice new behaviours. A few such tasks would get this couple working on the communication deficit discussed in an earlier comment by Javmor and could provide an interesting twist to your story.
L
Wife is manipulative bitch
"Oh, Doctor, I still love him!" Crap!! Her concern was about him getting away from her - not about his feeling of satisfaction with his life. If he had gone to a male therapist, he would have gotten advice like "You have to make a decision. Either suck it up and let yourself be manipulated and used or change the mood around yourself. You worked like crazy to achieve your goal of promotion and more responsibility and she crapped all over the idea because it was inconvenient for her and the kids. What is SHE going to do when the kids are gone? She doesn't trust you - she'll be out the door with half the goodies saying 'Ta Ta - thanks for all this.'"
This marriage IS toast. He needs to take the legal punishment now - it isn't going to get easier for him if he waits.
I would see the conflict....
....in terms of miscommunication or the lack of ability to communicate. That can cause enormous stress in a relationship.
It's really not a LW story.
not bad
but it was a pretty anti-climatic story and i know it was your first submission but if you do more i would recommend not submitting till each chapter you atleast have an outline prepared because i could only vaguely remember the last chapter
if you need to see a therpaist so you can have your spouse to touch you without getting ill
there is no point in staying married or trying to save it
"But neither of you has done anything unforgivable." um this is a joke right ?
There are two things I want to say about the story - FIRST as the story itself in terms of the author skill and how the story actually moves and develops SECOND about the plot and characters
Of the three chapters of the story so far I would have to say this is the best of the three. The conversation between the husband who wants some answers and the therapist who is willing to give them some information was well done. More over the husband's deduction about his wife-- that he finally figured out why he was withdrawing from the family and from her-- shows that this husband/ man actually has of fully functional brain and is quite intelligent. Again this is very well done by the author as we all know that in many of these LW stories the husband is portrayed as a intelligent successful person but usually comes across as a blithering idiot
That being said If I see one more comment about how this story is about communication problem between husband and wife- I am going to go outside and kick someone's dog. This story is NOT about a the lack of communication between the husband and wife.
People who make that sort of assertion are usually trying to show how both sides have contributed to a breakdown in the marital relations, which is often true. But in this story to the best my knowledge the husband did nothing wrong.
NOTHING.
He was offered a major promotion at work because of his professional work abilities and the wife and kids teamed up to SHIT all over him. The reaction by the wife and the kids might be justified if the husband wants to move the entire family across country based on a whim or a possible job or what have you. But as the primary breadwinner and provider his ideas and views or not even considered.
This told husband something VERY important about the nature of his relationship with his wife and as the father and head of household. Specifically it told him that he is not the head of household and that his opinions and values are absolutely meaningless meaningless. In other words he is essentially trapped by the wife and kids
His course of action to withdraw from the family and wife and kids is the only logical alternative and rational course of action. It may not be the best thing for the marriage / family but his reaction ONLY came about because of what was done and said to him. He cannot be held at fault here.
But what makes matters even worse is how the wife reacted to what appear to be a developing crisis of the marriage. When she saw significant changes in the husband's behavior and attitudes she had several ways to react. The fact that she reacted with suspicion and engaged in manipulation and deceit is why this marriage cannot survive.
There is 2ndary issue here which is appears to be over looked by most people/ readers. Clearly the primary issue or catalyst which started everything was the rejection by the wife and the family of the important job promotion. But equally important is how the wife reacted to the crisis in the marriage that she saw developing with her husband.
Nothing speaks louder about WHO she is... what she thinks and her values as a person and as a wife than the way she reacted to this crisis.
The maintenance sex issue is VERY serious
There is nothing desirable or sexy or appealing with regard to HOW she reacted to this and the methods she used. I have my doubts as to whether not this aspect of the story is going to be solved or talked about in great detail.
I am afraid that the author is going to spend most of time talking about the Job Promotion issues with little emphasis on the wife's character and integrity and how she handled the crisis
****
Good writing but if the wife didn't know or care that it was his dream job and torpedoed it .... Not sure if I'd want to keep her .....
Divorce when kids are gone at the latest. His dissatisfaction with her support will eat away at things.
**** part 2
Cont'd ...
The loss of his dream job was glossed over. Kind of a big miss.
Part 4?
Their main problem is communication. Both sides
Neither of them are talking to each other. Instead, they are talking to other people and taking it upon themselves to help their individual cause. I disagree with Harry and a few others who feel that this is something more than simple miscommunication.
The husband is hurt by his family. So he starts to withdraw into himself. Take it from one who has tried this, no man can be an island to himself. It works for a while, but sooner or later you miss your family. You miss the love that you guys had. Most people are judging the love of the family by one event. He had a job, they didn't want him to take it. By this they assertain that no one loves or respects him. Most of us with families know that one snapshot on a bad day is never the entire picture. So to think that they didn't love him or care about him at all based on one event is judgemental. Kids are naturally selfish and narcissitic. The world revolves around them. They eventually grow out of that, but during this time in their lives that is how they are. That doesn't mean that they don't love their father. As for the wife, she is really a woman who took her husband for granted. Doesn't mean that she doesn't love him or shoud be jettisoned. After so many years of marriage, the couple tends to take each other for granted. That's life. Then, something wakes them up and makes them look at things from a different point of view. That is what happened here. Not unforgivable.
What is sad is the lack of communication. The impulse to go seek answers alone instead of together. Their first session should have been as a COUPLE. They should have first gone when he felt the urge to withdraw. The next opportunity to go as a couple was when she thought he was cheating, yet had no evidence to support her claims. The final time to go was when she finally saw the truth and realized what danger her marriage was in. Instead of fighting together, like husband and wife are supposed to do, these two internalize all of their crap and spy on each other.
The fact that she had to be hypnotized to suck dick is irrelevant to me. There are women who don't enjoy it. That doesn't make them selfish monsters. There are many men who don't enjoy eating pussy. The fact that she went out to get hypnotized to be able to do it shows commitment. She found a solution to give her husband what he wanted. She CHOSE to try to overcome her dislike and discomfort to please him. If she didn't care about him, she wouldn't have been in the counselor's office in the first place. She would just have divorced him and took half of everything, and recieved alimony.
This marriage is worth saving, but their lack of communiation and trust is going to kill them if they don't take care of it. No amount of blowjobs or kinky sex is going to fix that issue. No counselor is going to solve that problem for them. All of the other issues that they have going are symptoms of the problem, but not the problem itself. They can't simply address the symptoms and expect to fix the problem.
Therapist's advice works?
The problem didn't start with sex. It was Lisa's actions after six months of Lars' new behavior that brought sex into play . Yet, the therapist's advice is then that some professional grade fellatio is the very first priority (rather than say, talking honestly with her husband). I imagine that if Lisa had gone back to her friends she would also have been advised to manipulate him with sex. Only they wouldn't have charged by the hour.
Do other people appreciate the irony of the Lars' reaction to his Lisa's swallowing? While the therapist had seemed to suggest that the jealousy strategy had large "disadvantages", their sex plan only worked because it accidently made him jealous.
By the way, I disagree with every commenter who feels that Lisa is a bad person. She is totally into her family and her home and has been selfish and lazy about her marriage. I've lived my life like her and I don't consider myself a bad person, just a very foolish one.
Harryin VA
Harryin VA said all that needs to be said, He hit the nail right on the head.
Will the married people be minority in the future?
LOL It may be in the near future the high% of the married people will be the homosexual people only. (I agree the gay marriage........)
I read something future possibilty the 25% of the 45-50 years old people will be married 15-20 years later, the more people bachelor, bachelorette, divorced, widow or widower. .......Will the single state be the future for the next heterosexual generation?
We read the Loving Wives stories when the future is less and less married people!
I mentioned an interesting survay among the 25-30 years old male people what is their opinion about the marriage and why they avoid it?
The 3 first answers are very interesting and Loving Wives related.
1. These men are afraid of the bastard kids in family for the high level cheating. Interesting LW related opinion.
2. The 25-30 years old men opinion the married men have disadvantage in the job. Interesting.
3. The media from Hollywood to the Literotica show the husband role in negative method.
The cuckold stories the best examples..........
Next interesting thing. I read an interesting summary of a survay about the American 25-30 years old male generation they arrive into the life totally burned out to be unable any romantic emotion.
Hollywood tries one and two (very weak) steps to show something other and LITEROTICA also could step into that direction with an new Marriage Strife hub!
Is the love in the marriage going to be enough...
Others have already alluded to it but what happens long term?
Both said they love each other and I think they will find a way to rekindle the love short term but what happens over time? He turned down a promotion for which he had been working 20 years and we all know that his trajectory is now dead in the company. When is the resentment going to kick in? His wife and kids got the status quo they wanted. Is the wife smart enough to realize that she is going to have to do an awful lot to make up for her earlier selfish behavior?
This works for real
I have done exactly what is described here (except there was no councillor included). helped me a lot in getting a better mindset for dealing with a dominant wife.
Well okay, but...
Okay, everybody knows what everybody else is doing. No body is cheating. Good. Four stars for this installment, a bit less than that for the series through Ch 3.
But now what? Hubby and wifey still have not directly communicated. What happens when the next promotion out of town comes up? How does that decision get made with all this BATNA shift taking place? How does the BATNA shift, perceptions about the BATNA shift, and the wife's new giving spirit impact the relationship in the mean time?
Not sure if you intend to end the story here or not, but if you do minus 1 star for "incomplete" work.
Failure to Address the Real Issue
I think HarryInVa is right about this. The issue that needs to be resolved is not the couple's sex life. The issue that must be addressed is the husband's long term disappointment, bitterness and depression over how his family denied him an incredibly important life goal. This issue isn't anything that is going to be resolved through oral sex. It will require years of work for the husband to overcome the depths of despair that this sort of incident produces.
I think the portrayal of the husband in this chapter is unrealistic. A follow up chapter is required in which the therapist gets a clue and starts to work on the couple's real problem.
Getting onto the right track
Although this chapter is really only needed to fix the problems created in the previous one because the counselor didn't immediately rush both of these people into couples counseling.
wow 4 readers giving me some loving
thanks!
maybe I will stay on the meds this time!
Take a step back folks
I've been reading the comments from the three published chapters so far. Kind of interesting. There are the cut-and-dried marriage is dead and she's a *($*&*%^%,
the wait and see crowd and a couple more other groups. Marriage is not for the weak, faint-of-heart, or the rigid. Marriages end when a partner cannot see the other changing. It is not always good, or bad. When both parties can and do invest in each other, there is a chance for it to continue. Ask any honest married individual. They will all speak of rough spots where walking away was the preferred option -- no matter what the cost was. They will talk about taking each other for granted, or just being totally pissed at the other and not maintaining the marriage. I liked the 'maintenance sex'. I call it masterbating in a vagina. It's real, for both parties. Why does it get this way? Part of the human condition. We all fuck up some times.
In my extended family, this was true for some individuals as their spouses were incapable of recommitting. There have also been marriages that worked it out. It's fucking messy and requires much of the partners. In this story, they both, flawed individuals at best, appear to want to try? Let's trust the author to develop the story that is both believable
JAVMORE um how do you NOT see this ?
a couple of points -- FIRST I agree with you that as you said " neither of them are talking to each other. Instead, they are talking to other people and taking it upon themselves to help their individual cause. "
But because they are doing the same thing you clearly view the husband 's actions/ behavior as equally culpable as the wife's. This is delusional. Of course given how most of your LW stories go ....I am not surprised you have this distorted view of the world. But you are just flat out wrong.
Yes I will agree that the husband s's reaction about his teenage kids was off. They are Kids and all teenagers around the world are self centered ...so good point
And yes it is true that No one can be an island and his reaction may not have been wise. But his reaction was 10000000% started/ triggered by the wife. Somehow you seem to think that because the husband reaction to how his wife and family handle the job promotion offer was unwise .... it means he was or is in the wrong as much as the wife. Sorry dude this is NOT really a communication issue
In fact your defense of the wife is delusional because you are not focusing on what the wife's actions MEAN
YES we all take our spouses for granted -- OCCASIONALLY. But that is the key word. Doing that all the time is NOT love. The wife's open admission of
" maintenance sex" strongly implies she had been taking her husband for granted for YEARS.
then amazingly you wrote this then seem to ignore it in the story!?
..." The impulse to go seek answers alone instead of together. Their first session should have been as a COUPLE. They should have first gone when he felt the urge to withdraw. The next opportunity to go as a couple was when she thought he was cheating, yet had no evidence to support her claims"
oh my god how do you not see this? the ONLY reason they did not go s a couple was because of the WIFE's actions and behavior!!!! .
" The fact that she had to be hypnotized to suck dick is irrelevant to me. " Again that is what I was REALLY talking about and you know it . In fact you do admit that " No amount of blowjobs or kinky sex is going to fix that issue."
Hey Javmor79 - get a fucking clue. Are you as brain-dead as you drivel out these pathetic excuses for analysis?
Idiot! HV was on point to identify your piss-poor comprehension of the plot & character development. Really Javmor79- are that retarded or IQ damaged?
Hubby hasn't withdrawn from his family
His relationship with the kids hasn't changed, because his kids didn't really disappoint him. He had expected them to react negatively to the prospect of relocating because that's what kids do. It's his wife who he feels pulled the rug out from under him, because she made zero effort to back him up and help get the kids to see the bigger picture for the family. So he decided to depend on her less, not because he intends to leave her, but because depending on her less means less risk of future disappointment.
@ Harry
Yes the wife's behavior started the whole thing, but that doesn't mean that it is only up to her to fix it. Marriage is about both people. Each person in it is responsible for their own actions. When your spouse hurts you, you address it. If each person tries this quid pro quo approach, then you end up with to unhappy people.
Yes I see things differently from you, but that is because when I get shit on, my first thought is "how do I avoid this again?" You can't change other people, but you can change yourself. I don't sit around and think about how this person is so wrong for doing this to me. I look at what actions I have done to add to this scenario. Then I avoid those actions in the future.
In this case, I would have approached her and gone to counseling about her rejection of my job. She started it, but he alone controls his reaction. There are two approaches to life. You can be right, or you can fix the problem. Me, I would much rather fix my problem than feel I have a right to react a certain way.
I don't think this is delusional.
Another point you made was about the blowjob, but I'm not sure what that point was. To me the blow job was a non factor. Her having to be hypnotized was another non factor. This is not their main problem. Their problem is that they don't communicate. Both are more concerned with being right than they are with fixing the issue. They both became suspicious of the other person and failed to approach each other. It isn't justified for one side and unjustified for the other. If you spend your entire marriage trying to assign blame then it is going to be miserable. Both people's approach should be to do what is best for the marriage.
Yes people take each other for granted. This was a case in which she did it to him. But something always wakes them up and makes then realize their mistake. Is that not what happened here? Needing to be right will have a person say "I don't forgive you because you shouldn't have done it in the first place". Fixing the situation will say, "You hurt me. Let's figure out a way to not let this happen again".
That's my approach to life.
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