It got me interested then just left me there. I hope there is more coming right away. Make it with the same feelings and passion please.
by
Anonymous01/29/04
Is this a teaser?
The story started well, but ended with a fizzle. It is fine to continue a story with additional chapters, but try to write each chapter so it has a bang near the end. After you have done that you can add a teaser to draw the reader to the next chapter.
This left me very flat.
by
Anonymous01/29/04
Left breathless awaiting an outcome
Believe that it is the start of a great story but was stopped prematurely.
by
Anonymous01/30/04
Good Hook
I liked the start, and how it developed, even though there could have been more hesitation from the wife to follow through with the "examination". It definitely gets the interest and I hope to see what is to follow. Good job though and definitely exciting.
Why post something so incomplete? I'm guilty of having something on here that didn't go all the way to the end, but this didn't do anything. You write well, em, but you have to finish!
by
Anonymous04/08/06
please write more-real and sexy; best I'veread
Best true sounding story on Cliterotica
by
Anonymous06/23/12
SMILE!
The older comments are a mix. A smatter of applause and frowns. This is SO obviously an intro first part, more than half are redundant. It makes me smile because it grounds in a fairly light heated original sense a lot of fantasies, of a lot of people, male and female. The english is more than ok because it works at this level.
I hope comments did not put you off, or discourage u from turning such 'pen' to other common fantasies... changing room, swimming baths, cinema, train/bus for example. Even hospital bed. Life may have moved on.... S UK
English
Hopefully just the beginning
It got me interested then just left me there. I hope there is more coming right away. Make it with the same feelings and passion please.
Is this a teaser?
The story started well, but ended with a fizzle. It is fine to continue a story with additional chapters, but try to write each chapter so it has a bang near the end. After you have done that you can add a teaser to draw the reader to the next chapter.
This left me very flat.
Left breathless awaiting an outcome
Believe that it is the start of a great story but was stopped prematurely.
Good Hook
I liked the start, and how it developed, even though there could have been more hesitation from the wife to follow through with the "examination". It definitely gets the interest and I hope to see what is to follow. Good job though and definitely exciting.
Great
Plese keep them coming
I can't see the point...
Why post something so incomplete? I'm guilty of having something on here that didn't go all the way to the end, but this didn't do anything. You write well, em, but you have to finish!
please write more-real and sexy; best I'veread
Best true sounding story on Cliterotica
SMILE!
The older comments are a mix. A smatter of applause and frowns. This is SO obviously an intro first part, more than half are redundant. It makes me smile because it grounds in a fairly light heated original sense a lot of fantasies, of a lot of people, male and female. The english is more than ok because it works at this level.
I hope comments did not put you off, or discourage u from turning such 'pen' to other common fantasies... changing room, swimming baths, cinema, train/bus for example. Even hospital bed. Life may have moved on.... S UK
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