Nocturnal Emissions

Hot

Very hot, so fucking sucking sexy, more and more please and soon. Sexmaniac cunt lapper.

Hot yet sweet

Congrats on your first submission to LE!

It doesn't happen often but your first story is already a very intriguing one, being rather short yet to the point you delivered a cheerful romantic tale. It has all the elements that make it hot (the passionate sex), sweet (their corresponding love), sensual (sharing they first time together), gave a body to the story (just enough background and character description) and of course we want more of this. If you decide to go on with the story I would like to see a bit more backstory on how they actually del in love with each other and of course how their adventures go on int he future.

As good as it is there are a few bugs here and there, something that might be fixed with a thorough check or getting an editor if you plan on posting more in the future.

Nonetheless I gave it 5* as it pushed ally he right buttons with me, simple as that.

Juvenile Story

The way you write and the ignorance of female anatomy lead me to believe you are a juvenile.

" I felt her cervix give way. This sent me into a second orgasm, and I started shooting more loads of semen directly into her womb."

If you had even been able to do that, you would have injured her and she would have been in severe pain, Educate yourself and at least have sex before you write anymore.

Sexy story

When they "spoon together," does she feel the bit of hair on his chest rubbing gently against her back? A sexy brother with a bit of chest hair can be very attractive to a young man's sister, and she can have something to stroke or taste as she is servicing him next time. Is a blow job in the works?

Hey anon

I would hazard a guess that at least 50% of people visiting here are younger than they should be.
As far as anatomy, yes this one is as accurate as about half the stories written. Don't let facts get in the way of a story.

What a wonderful story about brother and sister love !! Hot, arousing and caring. Please we need more and hopefully, Jen will teach Josh how to be a stud and they will do it everywhere and very often. They are in Love and share their feelings well. Thank you.

Rushed it

Needs more foreplay and plot, not an Oh I love you wham bam bang sex.

Nocturnal emissions

Horseback riding? that's worth a giggle. Um...no.
But, hey, girls lie. I get that!

nice effort

You did a nice job--especially for your first outing as a writer of these stories. The minor problems others noted can alert you to take care with details--cervix, etc. I look forward to your next work--whether you choose to continue this story or not. I found the characters real and I have written a good number of stories here.

Great Story

Great story line. Waiting for next chapter. 5 stars. Thanks

Keep writing, good plot and fairly well written.
Please finish this tale and more.

Great story

This was a pretty good story your first keep it up eating for ch2 and maybe just mate pull the sex deprived mother into this story hmmmm just a thought

Thank you for the feedback.

Thank you all for feedback, know that I appreciate it. It helps me to grow as a writer, and also humbles me. The reason why I didn't give it a chapter number was because I did not know whether I was going to create a sequel. There are a lot of things to work on in the next chapter, and I promise it will be longer. Please keep in mind that this story is not realistic in any way, and I do not try to make it realistic. Because of the positive feedback, I have already started working on a sequel.

skanky and scanty

I think you meant her clothing was scanty, not skanky.

Strong woman.

Young Jen is a very strong woman eg. "I started rubbing her clit with my thumb, and she dug her fingers into my head."

Just Kidding.

Nice story, it is however not really insest, as they are not blood related.

Handyman2

CH.2

I want a CH. 2
The story was great and the characters have a lot of potential

A chapter two...too!

Liked it...more please!

Just a little longer.

I just wanted to let you all know that chapter two is almost complete, thank you for your feedback.

Good Job Bro

I think you did a good job with this story and you should write more. And don't worry about all of the haters.

Chaper Two is available!

Hey guys (and gals,) I just wanted to let you know that Chapter Two of Nocturnal Emissions is available in the incest/ taboo category. Also, here is a dictionary definition and section from Wikipedia for incest, specifically for the naysayers.

Incest (N)
Sexual activity between two or more people classified as too close to marry one another.

Wikipedia, on In-Law incest.
Many states (United States) also apply incest laws to non-blood relations, including stepparents, stepsiblings, in-laws and people related through adoption.

great job

Just wanna say great job on the story. And if you wanna improve it. Try not using names that often, replace them with her or she. Other than that great job!