A Cold and Snowy Night

Present tense??

Maybe some people like their stories written in the present tense but not me. They read like mistakes, plus you sometimes lapse into past tense, like some NFL talking head. Too bad because the story itself showed great promise.

I "seen" enough early on..

..Wow, what horrible English skills. "Seen" actually is "saw," and the following was just as crudely written.

2

You write like a middle-school dropout. Get an editor and take their advice.

Enticing but awkward

I think the lapses with your tense usage do spoil an otherwise delicious little story.

Don't be so stubborn!

I've been following you for a bit and wish you would heed some of the advice you've been given by your readers. YOU NEED TO GET ASSISTANCE WITH EDITING AND PROOFREADING!! Your ideas are good and you can organize the flow pretty well. But you absolutely cannot write worth a damn!! Readers will not continue to follow your writing if you continue to offer such a mediocre product. **

More would be nice!

I'm not going to nit pick about the editing and such. As long as I can understand a story I'm pretty much good with that. However I hope you add to the story. Hopefully daddy and daughter get their happing ending together. Just the two of them and if dad has any since please let him kick the ex-wife to the curb.

Get an editor.

I give you a 4 for the idea and pacing, but a two for grammar and editing.

Wonderful

What a great story

Awkward

I too have been following you and waiting for you to take some of the advice offered in good faith, and yet you never have; are you really so enamored of your own perceived ability that you cannot see yourself improving in any way? Once again all the previous errors and awkwardness of grammar and phrasing are here, and more. I think I won't bother reading any more of your work, because, my friend, you are really hard work, and I just don't have the time, interest, or inclination to keep mentally correcting you as I read, not as long as you keep going through the same old hoops.

It's a real shame, I had high hopes for you, and I really hoped you'd take so much well-meaning advice to heart, apparently you're constitutionally incapable of accepting anyone else's viewpoint or opinion. Good bye, and good luck. Three stars for the effort, one star off for not ever listening.

NO ONE takes dear annony dumb ass advise!!!

Asshole's advise is worth nothing, and a asshole fag's advise is worth even less, Go back into your basement asshole annony and leave real people alone. gave it a 5 to help the score.

Another illiterate

"If only he would not have let". Seriously? Do you have an idea of how badly this sentence is written? It's a double conditional negative, and is meaningless. All you had to write was "If only he hadn't let.......'. Easy, isn't it? When you know how.

Appalling!

Just

Stop

"Writing"

liked it

Until he came on her stomach. Takes away so much from a incest story when the vum isn't in the pussy. So I will mark down for that sorry. Otherwise good effort but I'm giving it a 2. Would be 3 but ....

Ok how do you plunge slowly

Hard to believe a stripper with 32G tits has never been touched, but still a good story

A tender story being snowed in. Where did they get the matches?