All Comments on 'Woodbridge Academy Ch. 07'

by elno2015

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AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Wow just wow

Can't wait for the next one. I hope that this little predicament gets settled out.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
wow

Can't wait for next chapter. Please post it as soon as possible.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
A good chapter

I'm just hoping that this won't lead to either a time jump or Matt and Adam getting together. That would make the story cliché and one of many. So far it has stood out in a positive way.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

Please, please for God's sake uldate the next chapter soon. You can't leave us with a cliffhanger!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
WTF Matt!!!

Ok I am annoyed with Matt oh my goodness, like give Jason a chance here and act like you know him better than that. Urgh. Ok now that is out, really good chapter. Looking forward to the next chapter very much!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
OMG!

At this point, I am so pissed off at Matt and Josh falling for Adam's campaign of lies and outing that I can't see straight!

I hope Jason goes to Italy and finds some cute guys to distract himself with, now that he knows he's gay and that Matt has discarded him.

And if Jason isn't valedictorian because of Adam's computer stunt, then there's really no point in Jason even showing up for graduation, is there? Jason can leave early for Italy.

Matt could start having doubts about what happened and what he did to Jason and sit there by himself at graduation, wondering why he was such an ass to doubt the person who said he loved him, the best thing in his life. In fact, let him run to Italy and find Jason in the arms of another guy. That would serve him right!

Oh, no! I thought of something else! Now that Jason has no boyfriend or friend to look out for him, I hope he's not going to be Adam's victim any more than he's already been. Adam has always wanted Jason, since he found out he's gay. It's obvious he never cared about Josh (like he ever told Josh about hitting on Jason-yeah, right! that was Josh covering for Adam, although now it's obvious Adam's caused Josh to doubt that little incident, too). Now that I think about it, it seems Adam's whole campaign has been to isolate Jason from everyone. Maybe Matt could wake up and figure it out, before it's too late and Jason is physically hurt, fighting Adam off.

There are so many things that could happen. Jason might even get gay bashed by others on campus, after what happened during that scene at his exam, although you seem to have written the campus not being that kind of place.

I thought Matt and Jason were in it or the long haul. There is that saying about the course of true love never running smooth, or something like that, and especially, it seems, first love. And the whole issue of trust in a new relationship is even more challenging when there is a question of someone being outed. We all know men and women don't seem to understand each other very well, but I've been very surprised sometimes by gay couples, where one has quickly chosen to doubt their partner, the way Matt is doing, because of their own long-standing insecurities.

I usually don't speculate like this, but I'm so wound up, and you've provided so many possibilities!

Wherever you take this, I know I'll read it the second I see it, and enjoy it immensely. This has been a superior series. Thank you, elno!

MbeseMbeseabout 8 years ago
WTF

Was that! Please post soon, wanna know if Jay is okay.

geemeedeegeemeedeeabout 8 years ago

Honestly? This reads false to me. I'm a long way from 18, but I find it hard to believe that everyone so easily believes Adam, who is known to be an unstable liar. I can understand being insecure, but the way this is written, Matt and Jason have grown closer and communicate more maturely. I would've been more likely to believe it early on in the relationship, when Matt was unsure of Jason's feelings for him. But at this stage? It's manufactured drama to provide conflict between characters. It's soap operaish. Also, why are Jason's best friend and boyfriend so willing to believe the worst of him? It's like they don't even know him at all. He deserves better.

The logical direction this story would take would be to pivot. Jason goes to Italy, licks his wounds, maybe enrolls in Brown's international program and stays gone for 2-3 years, maybe longer. He's in therapy a bit to deal with the trauma of having his life destroyed (that video will follow him the rest of his life -- good luck getting jobs) and of losing the people closest to him, people he trusted. Josh and Matt are gone for good, because really, who would want them back after their distrust and cruelty? They said things that can't be taken back and can't be unheard. Jason eventually opens his heart to love again years later.

MbeseMbeseabout 8 years ago
Back again....

The more I think about it, the freaking angrier I get. How could Josh and Matt believe the lies so quickly??? I am mean, it's like they don't know Jason at all. I mean, if someone told me something like that about my best friend, I will slap the shit out of them. My best friend is like blood, there is nothing i don't know, no mood i don't understand. The same goes for my man, their is a whole lot drama that will have to go down IN FRONT of MY OWN EYES before I will believe anything against him . If Josh was a real freaking friend he would have known Jason would never have done it.... and don't get me started on the wimp Matt, fucking spineless asshole! I hope they realize their mistake soon and i REALLY hope Jason gives them hell for it. Please don't let Jason roll over on this so easy,he really is a good guy, but this betrayal really isn't okay, neither Josh nor Matt deserves a man/friend like Jason, the freaking dipshits! i hope Adam chokes on his own bile!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Dealbreaker

I'm interested to see how this plays out. I can't see a way for a satisfying happily ever after at this point, as Matt's behavior is unforgivable. Even though I love(d) them together, he has now proven the type of person he really is, and is undeserving. How many times can he abandon Matt (and harshly kick him out of his room) and still be forgiven? Why would he even have had Adam in his room (and both shirtless?) and still be friends with him, knowing what Adam has done to Jason?-email video not even included. Why would his best friend and then the love of his life believe anyone over him, let alone Adam? And with Matt knowing the Adam/Josh situation and being on Jason's side through that? I really hope you find a way to explain the actions and emotions of Matt AND Josh so that everything ends up as it should.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Well

That happened!

I only want to know why Matt and Josh so easily believe that Jason is capable of this shit, and take Adam's side. It makes no sense and doesn't follow the characteristics of these guys. Jason has given neither of them reason to think he's even like this. To not at least hear him out is disconcerting.. I love this story so I am interested to see how you turn this around..

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Ughhh

So upset! I get why Josh might believe him but Matt should know better especially since Adam was lying about the Josh thing. Ugh I want to punch all three of them in the face and give Jason a hug.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Huh...

Ok, so going with everyone of the main characters are in prep school, YOUNG, and emotionally immature still (although behaving a little too adult sexually) then here is what I think: Matt's dad is really just as evil and uncaring about anything other than the Presidency as initially portrayed. That makes the most sense rather than the storming into the room then easy acceptance and knowing Jason's name. That part seemed like a clue to me. Why would he know another Senator's AIDE'S sons name? Unlikely. He has NOT accepted a gay son and merely pretended to. That is why he encouraged Matt to stay in the closet. He needed time to break the boys up. He has gained Adam's support to ruin Jason and the relationship between Matt and Jason. Adam, who is also very politically motivated, and very closeted, is working to help Matts dad. Does he love Josh? Probably, but he is also using him to have access to Jason. I also wonder if Matt's dad is blackmailing Adam to behave this way knowing he is gay, as in " I will ruin your political future"? I think Adam texted from Jason's phone while with Josh. That will just devastate Josh when it all comes out. It takes a lot for all of us readers to believe Matt and Josh are that gullible, though. The next chapter really has some explaining to do. But I think the author has done a great job of setting up intrigue. Cue the summer with mom....

avidreadravidreadrabout 8 years ago

Matt, Josh and Adam deserve each other. But what I believe will happen is that Adam's lies will all come out and his life will hit the skids, Josh and Matt are both going to feel like shit and turn themselves inside out to make things right with Jason, which will probably be what happens. It would be nice, though, if Italy serves as a healing time and he goes to college where he meets and falls in love with someone more deserving.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Hmm

Well that was all a bit melodramatic if you ask me. As if Matt would have believed Adam when he knew the trouble he'd already caused. Will have to stick with it to see how it pans out! I have always thought Jason would be better with Josh. Still very well written.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

I have read and loved this Story til now... im a Very pissed reader... YOU must fix this... Matt an Jason belong together... matt went after jay an brought him into this bromance/romance. ... now to believe this lieing Adam... NO.. can't be happening. ..

U need to fix their situations... and make. The trueth come out to Josh.. about Adam trying hard to get with Jason....an this too Matt...about the video an crap against him& jay.....

Not fair... their has to be at leadt 1 happy ending ...somewhere. ... and IT isnt... jason going 2 Italy. ... to see his worthless mother who doesn't care about him. ..only Obviously herself. .... dont drag her into the story...leave her OUT... like she did Jason & his dad....

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Uhhh

I don't know how I feel about this...Adam clearly said "I told you not to mess with me" in front of Matt and Jason. Isn't that an indication that he did something and Matt still didn't believe Jason. Is he stupid? There's a flaw there.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

Great chapter!!! But it made me so angry at Matt and Adam...

I really hope the boys will work it out. You have to post another one soon!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
sad

Matt,josh,and Adam are just so wrong to do Jason like this their going to realize that Jason didn't do what they think they did and their gonna realize what adam really did and matt and Jason are going to try to win Jason back I hope Jason finds someone who's out and proud and who will truly love him 4 him and I hope that he doesn't take matt and josh back they don't deserve Jason they messed up big time all because of Adam and his lies and deception 4 what?! Just to go after Jason?! Just sad though I really hope Jason finds someone who truly deserves him and will never let anyone or anything hurt him ever again

baikalisanbaikalisanabout 8 years ago
Wow

What assholes Josh and Matt are. Adam I knew was going to be a douche and try something but for the other two to destroy Jason like that without even considering his innocence is just above and beyond awful. I hope he makes them grovel a LONG time when they are begging for his forgiveness. The bastards

chesthairslavechesthairslaveabout 8 years ago
Telenovela Trash

Seriously? Please revise and repost this chapter. The last half is melodramatic claptrap at best. The behaviors of the characters became unbelievable. The plot became clownish. You are better than this.

Luvs2cum4uLuvs2cum4uabout 8 years ago
So many questions...

Loved this chapter. Please update soon, like tomorrow :) It's hard to believe that a a josh and Matt would so easily believe Adam, and I hope it works out in the end. I think it will take a lot of time. But I'm also wondering...why was Adam in Matt's room and they both were shirtless??? I'd love to have Matt's point of view about all of this. Hopefully Michelle can talk some sense into him. And the fact that everyone's passionate about this chapter is really a testament to you as a writer because you've made us fall in love with these guys.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Check the trail

There has to be a way that some computer guru can check the trail to find that Jason did not send the email and pictures, that Adam did this. Adam is a known liar and this will come out. I just hope this incident isn't a deal-breaker for Matt and Jason, as they seem so good together. Let's hope that Matt isn't in on this entrapment, as he instigated the shower scene that ended up on email.

Let's hope this is but a blip on their road to completely loving each other, a little test they must pass.

I'm also wondering if the professor can't do something.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Honestly

This didn't make sense. It's not entertaining or believable and you painted yourself into such a corner I don't think it's possible to get out of it. This would have to be dream sequence for it to make any sense and that's just cheap. I've enjoyed the story thus far and I will read next installment but I'm not sure what you can do to fix it

milanonmilanonabout 8 years ago
Why?

Dear elno2015,

I've loved the story of Matt and Jason so far and couldn't wait to read this next chapter but I have to say I think instead of moving things forward and play with the drops of narrative you decided to go for a big splash which, I agree with some of the comments, makes no sense with the characters and their relationships. I understand you wanted to end this year with something to carry all of us through 2016 with renewed excitement but most of this chap honestly and with lots of respect towards your great qualities as a writer it's just "Coup de théâtre" compared with all of the rest you've written so far. I believe in your gifted talent and I definitely trust you will find a way for all of the Woodbridge Academy's narrative to find his way back to a more organic pattern. Wish you a great new year's eve and, truly, can't wait to read more. Rob

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

Despite many of the comments saying otherwise, I actually liked what you did with the story...sure, Josh and Matt are acting irrational since they know Jason is better than this. But I'm sure it will be explained in next chapter, so why not. Little drama does no harm. It was actually the last chapter that made me think this story is going nowhere so this was definitely an interesting change

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Conflicted

I've been enjoying this so far. Honestly. But the characters were just too irrational in this installment. Their personalities seemed to have done a complete 180. I'll look forward to the next part but hopefully all is not easily forgiven after how unfair they were to Jason.

avidreadravidreadrabout 8 years ago

I've had an additional thought or two since my morning post. I think a lot of us have forgotten that these are boys, not men, and are quick to jump to the wrong conclusion. I sometimes think most men are bit thick, but the young extremely so and, except for felonies, should be given some leeway until the age of 25. (Oh, my credentials for these opinions is as a wife for 20 years, the mother of two sons and observing them and their friends.)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Maybe Matt's trying to catch Adam...

I hope Matt is acting how he is toward Jason because he's trying to get Adam to confess or something. I find it hard to believe that Matt could go from professing that they'll get through it together to "get out, I don't want to see you again" so quickly. Please update soon!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Credentials maybe but I have three boys and the one in love has never done this...

Yes they are boys not men but this is too odd behavior more soap opera ish as something a bored housewife would think not a boy. Used to sing high praises for you but now not so. If you ran out of material you could have let them graduate and be done. Fin.

Nevin1Nevin1about 8 years ago
I'm probably way off course but...

So, I figure when they ran into Josh he was getting the camera, obviously Matt had to know it was there, so they're all setting Jay up for something, it's the why I don't get yet. And why Josh looked so bad is they are coercing him somehow. Please hurry with the next instalment, I'm already frothing at the mouth needing to know!! Talk about cliffhanger! All the upset people just proves you're a great writer, keep it up and ignore the negatives! :)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

To be honest I love these kind of formulaic and pleasing stories. Underdog falls in love with the golden boy (who seems like a pretty cool and desirable stalker), coming out story (if coming out story goes smooth then we've got a creepy stalker), creepy stalker outsmarting everyone, golden boy realises he was a jerk and dumb and gets back the underdog.

Although I consider this chapter fits right in this kind of development, I think it's an amazing oportunity to break the mold and give depth to the characters that by now are extremely one-dimensional... Let's be honest, this story is about Jason and somehow he has become a mixture of a martyr and a damsel in distress. Jason and Matt started being pretty equal (which is pretty refreshing because most of stories tend to follow dominant and submissive suit) by now Jason seems like a diluted and dull version of himself, who all that can do is live for Matt.

It's a weak chapter, there are so many inconsistencies, Matt is breaking character (let's face it, he could even fuck Adam as rebound sex and it would suit him right), Josh too (he could even be the one who sent the email to Matt, fuck Jason's friendship), Adam is so unnecessarily antagonising...

The trip to Italy seems a great opportunity for Jason, it's high time to transform this flat character into a round one. The Jason outside Matt! He has the chance, through his mother's life, to realise that first love sometimes doesn't last forever, and start over again, it's just me wishing Jason getting what he deserves... Which is to keep some dignity and gain some experience and love... and figuring out the mess he is, he seems more demisexual than gay, meeting her mother could help him mature and understand things aren't black or white but grey, he could even fall in love again with a more cohesive character than Matt's, have real friends, stop being so reclusive...

Anyway, an interesting reading, congratulation for your hard work and please, please, please save Jason from being that submissive.... He doesn't need to be another Josh and it doesn't seem realistic that everyone just stare at him and do nothing... Guess I'm lucky, left high school 5 years ago, but in my days people stand up when someone suffered this kind of bullying, my classroom would have reacted (One half saying fag, the other calling assholes to the ones who said fag) and an eighth would have try comforting the bullied one. It was cool to bully, not as cool as it seems to be for younger generations, but it was cooler to stand up for the "weird ones", specially if you were a senior and if the bullied one was a senior, it was personal thing with the most of the generation...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
cut adam's balls

i fucking hate adam! why would he do such thing to jason? please hurry! im dying to read the next chapter!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

Omg I can't wait for the next chapter! I'm dying to know if the next one will have some good for Jason n hoping that he n matt will get back together hopefully!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Don't mind me asking

How many gay people actually read this? Are all the readers women?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
This could end up being really bad or really good

I understand the need to introduce conflict into the story because it's been needing it for a while, and I could see it coming just for that reason, but this is too contrived. Anything, from Josh being hurt by Adam to hurting himself, to Adam frocing himself on Jason, to outing Matt and blaming it on Jason to drive them apart would have been more organic. But outing Jason when he's the one he wants makes so little sense. Now you've introduced a massive problem into the plot by turning Matt and Josh on Jason. Bringing Josh back from it might be easier, but under these circumstances for Matt to find his way back to Jason seems impossible on the immediate. It's certainly going to take more than summer in Italy with Jason's estranged mom to resolve. I like Matt. He's riddled with flaws that Jason has willingly chosen to overlook, but that's what makes him real. Jason himself has a lot of flaws too, namely excusing Matt's because he's in love with him and conceding too much of himself as a result. In that sense this conflict is good because at last he has to confront that. They both have some serious growing up to do as a result of this chapter now, and that is one thing I can honestly say I like about it. I just wish you'd chosen a better way to drive this change. I don't want to see Jason with anyone else. I genuinely think he and Matt belong together, but they both had to open their eyes to reality of the problems in their relationship. The honeymoon needed to end, and it's a good thing that it has. Now they have to find themselves, before they can find their way back to each other. This is a big opportunity for that, so I hope you won't hand-wave it with a time skip or an apology from Matt that makes everything suddenly better. Give Jason a nice, long summer in Italy. Give him time to explore his relationship with his mother. Let him see what the world is like without the filter of his love for Matt. Hell, let him figure himself out, whether there are other boys out there he's allowed to want. It doesn't mean they have to be the one, but he deserves to be allowed to explore that part of himself, which he hasn't because it's been all about him and Matt up to this point. By the same token, let Matt work himself out as well. Let him face his insecurities. Let him realize how much hurt they've done to Jason, and not just because of this last incident. Jason used to be so much more self assured and assertive when this relationship began, and having to contend with Matt's fears robbed him of that, so Matt needs to realize that he needs to do better by him if he truly loves him. He needs to learn to be strong because Jason can't always be strong for him, and he needs to be willing to give more of himself because of it. A relationship is give and take, and Jason had been doing almost all of the giving. That both Jason and Matt had these problems is by no means a bad thing; it's what makes them feel so real and that is what makes this story so compelling. This chapter was a hiccup, a big hiccup, but one that can be surmounted. There's massive potential here to push this story from reasonably good to truly great. All you have to do is be bold enough not to take the easy way out. The long road will be so much better, so I really hope you take it instead. Best of luck, and I'm truly looking forward to reading the next chapter.

MissPrimMissPrimabout 8 years ago
Congratulations

Congrats on getting such a strong response to your chapter. You hit your readers hard. If you are aiming at novel length you've just hit the first turn of the novel. Everything is supposed to fall apart for your MC and it did.

I've been on the other end of readers second guessing the work. They'll just have to trust you to bring them home. I suspect, though, that part of the strong reaction was because despite Adam's threats, they didn't see it coming. The next book you write you might want to consider peppering more foreshadowing, though with this story it was difficult because Jason is isolated. His only friends were Josh and Matt, two messed up young men.

While I wasn't a fan of the particulars of how the story turned, you are the writer. That's the fun of being a writer--crafting the story to your vision.

Happy Writing--Miss Primm

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Please update soon

I am so angry with Josh and Matt. I need to know Jason is okay.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
I hope Jason makes them grovel

What Matt and Josh did was not cool. Believing Adam so fast. You don't do that to people you profess to love, they don't know the meaning of the word! I hope Jason find some one more deserving of his friendship and his heart. Please update soon.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
No way!

The only way this could have turned this way is if Adam has something on Matt. Not a cool turn of events!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Another excellent chapter

I was a little blindsided by Josh and Matt, that they would believe something so evil from Jason, Adam must be a fan-fucking-tastic liar to make them believe him. I read the other comments and i do admit I agree with some of them, the most important one is that Josh and Matt doesn't deserve someone like Jason after this.

It's a good thing that he is going to his Mum, I just hope that he doesn't project his hurt on to her now.... well I must be honest I hope he does give her piece of his mind, cause what she did wasn't cool, you can leave your husband but never your child. The rejection Jason must have felt from her is heartbreaking and now the rejection from the most important people in his life... My heart breaks for him! But I hope he reconciles with her and get's a Italian Stallion to pick up the pieces of his broken heart.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
I am speechless

and very sad. I couldn't believe it. Please update soon.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Well Done Elno

I think the out cry we have here is a testament to your excellent storytelling. Very well done! I am speechless at the moment, I adored Matt and Jason and even Josh, I think I loved Josh the most (mainly because he reminds me so much of my husband.... well not that my husband will ever believe another man over me). I feel so betrayed by both of them. I kinda feel that it is good it happened in a way, I was beginning to feel that Jason was loosing himself in Matt and their relationship.It worried me. He gave so much of himself and changed so much for Matt and Matt gave very little in return. I feel when Matt said "I should have known you were a mistake" was a big truth that came out, I think Matt always felt that, Jason should really think long and hard about this before he forgives Matt and Josh. I hope this makes Jason stronger and IF he gets back together with Matt (and I have strong mixed feelings about this) he doesn't give some much with so little in return. I really hope you make Josh and Matt work HARD for Jason's forgiveness, because they sure as hell doesn't really deserve it. Well done on an excellent story, this out pour of grieve really shows how much we adore your stories and these characters. I wish I had you talent

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Heart Wrenching!

You'll have to upload the next chapter very soon. This one really hurts T.T

judojonjudojonabout 8 years ago

Wow writing sure did change. Cant wait to see where it goes.Like the story but do hope Matt is not becoming a ass.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

I'm usually pretty good at suspending my disbelief enough to enjoy a story, but I must admit, you've lost me with this cliff hanger. It feels cheap and unrealistic akin to writing more in style with a telenovella.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Wow, shocker

I read this last night before going to bed and was shocked. I am really enjoying this story of Jason and Matt's love.

But, after some sleep and reading some comments it might be making some sense to me as to what happened out of the blue.

First, go back to how accepting Matt's dad was of the two. Maybe that was a farce. And he was behind the incident. Also, it was odd that Jason's dad offered the summer trip to Italy just before all of this unfolded. Was he in on it too?

Then go back to how the video came to be. It could be that Matt's dad did not want it to be known during his campaign about Matt being gay. Then Matt possibly with the help of Jason's dad wanted to do something to run Jason away at least for a little while in a way to protect him Adam and for him to not be around for the campaign.

I could be wrong but some of my thoughts were spurred on by reading comments from others.

Please update soon and my sincere hope is that there is a happily ever after ending.

Thanks, awesome job!

Bazilio0391Bazilio0391about 8 years ago

I agree that Jason shouldn't forgive Josh and Matt so easily as they didn't believe in Jason and didn't even try to, they'll have to earn Jason's friendship back a lot to be able to make up for what they did but that's my opinion if I was Jason myself though, can't wait to read the next chapter though!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Soap Opera

This serial had human consequence. It's effective writing came from human relationships, desires and faults. I loved the story dispite slight cliques and indulgent moments, in fact that might have been what I loved. However, this story paints disparate forces of good (righteous) and evil (injustice). The story loses its humanity and consequence in the slap-a-dash characterisation, almost one-dimensional. The relationships that centred around Jason become caricatural, as Matt/Josh no longer exist as distinct characters but extensions of Jason's unjust treatment. This is serial doesn't have weight anymore, because there aren't really any characters left.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

Great turn of event, loved this particular chapter, the drama... Hope Jason pass his exam and he get the chance to go to Yale

HeartgrindHeartgrindabout 8 years ago
Good Idea, Poor Execution

I liked the direction this chapter took, but not the precise execution of the turn of events. It disrupted the verisimilitude, the suspension of disbelief. While I certainly wanted something like this to happen, a clear benefit to the drama of the story, I must say: it didn't feel as real, as convincing or as thoughtfully and deliberately written as most other parts of the story.

After the two exam essays were saved, everything that followed felt to me like a hasty parody of the setting and characters, right down to Jason's own defensive reactions. It was pitiful, convenient and predictable, even if Matt's dad is involved. The "it's not what it looks like" shirtless apparent coupling between Adam and Matt was a lame cliché of a cliffhanger. Very little was nuanced or descriptive. Nightmarish to a surreal fault.

The sheer gullibility of Matt was hardest to believe. I wanted to believe that Matt was genuinely fooled, but it wasn't easy, probably because he had no doubts at all. He dismissed Jason's trust and value too fast, with an automatic refuting of the possibility Jason had been set up, framed and victimized. That's not a rational way to act when it's the word of a trusted long term lover up against a known liar and lecherous intended-cheat. I found it easier to believe he'd suddenly become a poorly written character, disbelieving of his boyfriend merely out of convenience for the plot's conflicts rather than because of whom or what he'd naturally believe and disbelieve.

Maybe if a deeper, trusting, less superficial friendship had been conveyed sooner between Adam and Matt, more of your readers would have bought into the realism of his gullibility. I hope that in the future, you will give your characters more polish, like you used to. The ratings seem to reflect this.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Very disappointed

It amazes me how quickly Matt and Josh believe that everything they saw and heard was true. Josh and Jason had been friends since freshmen year. Josh admitted to Jason that he knew Adam was a player, not to mention the fact that Adam already hit on Jason once because Jason told Josh. Matt pined for Jason for over 2 years, why would he be so willing to throw it all away especially since Jason finally admitted that he was in love with Matt? As close of Jason was to Josh and Matt, why won't either of them even listen to him?

I hope you don't go in the direction like one of the readers thought, having the two fathers of Matt and Jason in cahoots. To me, that would come across as the two fathers not accepting their sons being gay. Besides, as close as Jason and his dad are, I wouldn't think Jason's dad be so willing to out his son ike that.

Up to this point, it was a really good story. I understand the need for drama, but the way that you went about it was kind of unbelievable.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Problematic

I have to agree with some of the other comments. That Josh and Matt so easily distrust Jay is not overly plausible.

That Josh is blinded by his love can be true to some extend, but after saying himself that his boyfriend is a player and that said player told him hisself that he hit on his best friend... That would be a very sad and weak friendship.

The same goes for Matt, to some extent it could be true that he would be wary, because he is the son of a politician and i'm sure there are politicians that would use the children of an oponent to ruin their reputation. And that there are a lot of frenemies out there that are easily willing to stab you in the back. But to so easily distrust your boyfriend who you have been lusting after for two years or so and after having witnessed what happened with Josh. That would be a really sad relationship and proof of a weak character in my eyes.

So far the characters of this strory haven't been portraid this weak. I Hope there is going to be a good explanation why events and reactions have taken place the way they have so far.

And I think the story would lose a lot if the parents are behind these schemes. I would prefer it and think it's more plausible if Adam was the culprid.

But overall I love this story and I hope the next part will be published soon.

S.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Shame Jay

I don't even know where to start. I am beyond sad for Jay.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Pu-lee-ze

Stop right there buddy. You just ruined the story. I suddenly pictured a three year old telling a story. Totally off. Doesn't sound even a little bit realistic. And it's rather unfortunate because it was a good story.

I get it. You were trying to introduce some drama right? Well you only ended up turning the whole thing into a cartoon scene. There are some writers on literotica who are real good at introducing drama in their stories - believable drama I must add. Drama that actually pulls the reader in and make us feel as though we are actually the characters. Maybe you should read some of their works and learn how to fit in a believable twist. Just some names that you can look up.

Nomoretears

Robcub32

Adjoaq

Davidpatrick

The above listed names are some of the greatest twist masters on literotica. It's good to learn to improve ourselves. So try and find time to read some of their stories. You’re good but this chapter let you down. All the best.

T.Blaze

Jcl6845Jcl6845about 8 years ago
Really?

That's crap!

I_am_MidnightI_am_Midnightabout 8 years ago
Next chapter plsssssss

It's so hard to believe that Matt who lusted after Jay for 2 years suddenly looses faith in him. I mean wtf!!!! I don't even want to think about that fool Josh... I hope Jason enjoys his time in Italy. All of these fools are going to realise that they made a mistake. Adam..that moron 😈😈😈

Next chapter plsssssss. This one is giving me a heartburn

visionblissvisionblissabout 8 years ago
Pain!

I liked the earlier chapters of this story a lot. This chapter was just painful to read. Hope the unfolding of this drama serves it purpose. Sending some cheer for you for the future. Looking forward to read more. Chris

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
NOOOO

I HAVE SO MANY FUCKING QUESTIONS!!DO JASON AND MATT END UP TOGETHER. DOES MATT FUGURE OUT YHAT ADAM SENT OUT THE VIDEO. WHO IS SENATOR KYLE SEEING AND WHAT ARE HIS PLANS?? WILL JOSH FORGIVE JASON. WHAT IS UP WITH MICHELLE. WHY DOESNT JASON FIGURE OUT A WAY TO SET UP ADAM. AND MOS IMPORTANLy, HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE UNTIL THE NEXT INSTALLMENT

kipp412kipp412about 8 years ago

I can't believe the readers reacted so negatively to this chapter! I get the frustration felt sometimes when a story doesn't take a path you hoped for or expected, but when you begin to read another's story you have to realize just that; IT'S NOT YOUR STORY! There's no contract or agreement that the writer is going to meet your expectations. It's their creative property and it's their choice on where to take it.

I think readers who haven't written themselves don't realize the investment it takes to create a story. Not just the time to write it, but the mental investment that's given when a writer is away from the pen and paper (or screen and keyboard :p). Sometimes, it's difficult enough creating an idea for the next event on the story. I know I struggle with that each chapter of my story. When a writer finally forms an idea on how to continue a story, they don't first think "will my readers like this? " or at least they shouldn't. A story is a writer's way to express their creativity and that would all be hindered of they were to alter it to appease others.

That being said, I think this was the best chapter. It's given an even greater interest to the overall story. While there have been issues through the chapters, they were all minor, being resolved within the same chapter, even if some reappeared later on. It just makes sense to introduce a incredible challenge to the protagonist and I think she did it on a superb way.

I read a couple comments that the plot twist isn't believable and I can't help but feel those people are wrong. You have to consider who the characters are; not just their age, but their current mental state as well. All four of these boys are in love, and at times that causes people to react irrationally. You have to also consider the fact that they're gay and still learning to deal with the pressure and fears that come with it. Sometimes, people under great distress are deaf and blind to things they don't want to hear or see. I know I'm guilty of that. For all you know, Matt may have been so emotional, so terrified of what could happen with him and Jay that he subconsciously forced himself to not hear what Adam said to Jay. Another point is we don't know what Adam said to Matt before Jay walked in. There are so many things Adam may told Matt that could have forced him to act the way he did (I won't say them in case their right; No spoilers! Lol). Even it weren't believable, so what! ? There's stories of aliens, were wolves, vampires, demons, and angels on this site, and some of those stories are great! There are no rules when you write a story, because it's your property.

I hope this comment has influenced at least one person. Maybe some readers should make an attempt at writing a story of their own to get a better idea of what it's like. Please don't stop writing, Elno!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
My thoughts exactly!

Everything kipp412 said, I concur. I loved the drama in this chapter and I can't understand why people reacted so harshly. We have to remember that this is not only someone else's story, but she is letting us read it for free. It takes a lot to open yourself up and put your creation out there for the world to see. And to do it for free suggests a generosity that most authors aren't willing to display. I hope the strong reaction doesn't discourage Elno from continuing to write more chapters, I for one am on pins and needles wondering how/if Matt and Jason will overcome this!

CuriousPeteCuriousPeteabout 8 years ago
What a horrible twist!

Your comment near the end of the previous chapter was a hint that something bad was gonna happen but, wow, the whole story just blew apart! I was not ready for the very EVIL Adam to be believed by Josh & Matt. Even for immature 18 year-olds, it was just hard to take. But your writing skills are certainly evident. You sucked us all in to be shocked. I had really come to love Matt & Jay and hoped for at least a few years of HEA (a lifetime for 1st loves is pretty rare anyway) but to see Jason so destroyed was really terrible. I hope somehow you bring him out of this and he can still graduate valedictorian and then go on to find happiness. As for Josh & Matt, they don't deserve Jay's love or friendship and no punishment (save castration) is sufficiently harsh enough for the evil Adam.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

This story has been my favorite one on here. I love the whole plot of this from the beginning. I really would love if you could continue on with this story. Like hopefully Matt understands that Adam did and him and Jason can fix things. And Jason and Josh can work things out again. I really want more from this story. I've been left with this cliffhanger and I've been so anxious for more. Please please please write more.

TesaoboyTesaoboyabout 8 years ago
Terrific story, AND...

I really hope that you continue with additional chapters leading to a resolution. Please don't leave us hanging!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
No.

This chapter flippin' sucked. I hope you fix all of the crap that went down here in the next installment, or I'm done.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
More!!!

Please submit the next chapter!!!! ASAP!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Doesn't add up.

I get the feeling this story will never be completed. It has all the makings of unfinished work by an one author trying to be passed off as someone else's own. The writing style changed too drastically for it to be one author.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Next Chapter

This story is really good, but I feel like I'm hanging in limbo here. This chapter was really captivating and heartbreaking. When can we expect to see the next chapter? It seems odd to write such a plot twist only to keep readers waiting for so long.

Justfeedack09Justfeedack09about 8 years ago
Next chapter please

I know some of the comments about this chapter were harsh but lots of people like your story and are anxious to see where it goes. Please continue!

Thanks

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
There is more coming!

Hi everyone! There is more coming, it just may take a while. I lost what I had and had to start over so it's a slow moving process because school has started again. Thanks to those who had kind words to say. I didn't mean to leave you hanging!

anonymous1983anonymous1983about 8 years ago
Please!!!!

I love this story and for weeks I would check every morning to see if a new chapter had been uploaded. Now I don't, only looking when I have time. The longer we wait I'm afraid the more momentum you lose, especially the way you left the last chapter. So. Please hurry

DustyDevilDustyDevilabout 8 years ago
Thank You

Most Excellent Series. Glad to hear that more to come is in the works I am looking forward to it.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

This story is so awesome! Please get back to it!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
I NEED MORE!!

This story is amazing! I read it ages ago and couldn't believe it ended like it did so I stupidly hoped the next submission would be on by now so I re-read the entire series only to be disappointed again :( please please please finish this off because I need to know happens! :D

DustyDevilDustyDevilabout 8 years ago
KEEP IT (CUMMING) PLEASE

I have just finished rereading the story for about the third time. It seems to get better with age. Please do not keep us in suspense for too much longer. Again excellent series. Keep up the good work.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
IT CANNOT END LIKE THIS!!!

Come on you have to finish it there are too many great stories on here that just end without an explanation please please PLEASE!!!!!! Finish the story!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Ruined such a good series

Utterly disappointed on how you led this story and left us abruptly without resolve.

vibhor19vibhor19about 8 years ago

I feel like I can't read anything after this. I have to the read the last bit a number of times so that it's all fresh and inquiring within me. Post the next part, please. It's been over two months.

Greetings from India

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Next part?

Please post the next chapter! It's been over two months! I need to know what happens next, if Matt will beg for forgiveness for believing Jay could actually do that or does Jay leave for good????

Belle2327Belle2327about 8 years ago
Come onnnn!!!

I hated how the last chapter ended and agree with everyone saying HURRY to post the next chapter!! It's killing me!! Please, for all of our sanity, post!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Please please please don't stop

Please continue this story. I can't enjoy the other stories till this one starts again. I log on every morning just to see if you posted again. Please finish their story!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
You suck!

You start a great story then write such a disappointing chapter and leave us hanging for months. If you are not going to update regularly, at least have the courtesy to not end a chapter with a cliffhanger. Its freaking insensitive and rude.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
to those who are bashing the author:

guys, we all have a life, the author has a life too. I love this story to bits and of course would love it if it was updated. There is no need to comment nasty things, trust me, it won't make her write any faster.

Let her take her time, and come on guys, it's not like she's being paid here.

JonahSnowJonahSnowabout 8 years ago
You're Incredible

Best series I have ever read on here, I can't wait for the next chapter! ♥♥♥

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

I'd imagine the author either got discouraged by the avalanche of negative comments, has a massive case of writer's block, or a combination of both. Too bad. I wouldn't mind seeing how she planned to progress.

tronderjentatronderjentaabout 8 years ago
<3

This was the first story I ever read on here that I truly liked and reading it again, it's still my favourite. Don't stress with the next chapter. I'm in the middle of writing a book and I haven't been able to write anything for months. Whatever reason you have for not updating, everyone here is more or less obliged to respect that. The rude comments are simply because your story is really fucking good and everyone wants to find out what happens. Whatever's keeping you is your personal reason, and you should know that people here check your profile almost every day for an update. That's only a sign of a good author who really did something right with the previous chapter, but no reason to hate. We all love you, Matt and Jason.

Hope you're doing well, and looking forward to ch. 8!

<3

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Please continue!!!

I'm so invested in your story, please, please continue. Don't leave us hanging.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Orgasm Killer Chapter

Gaaaahhh. Why couldn't it just end with them getting married. Sucks.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
And then what happened?!?!?!?!?!

And then what happened?!?!?!?!?! Need more please!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
elno2015, please come back and continue your story.

I know it's difficult, but try to ignore the negative comments and keep in mind those of us who enjoyed your story the way you were telling it. I think readers sometimes forget that the authors here are writing for free, in their spare time, and that it is their story to tell, no matter how emotionally invested we readers become in it. And we truly are emotionally invested in your characters, which proves what a good writer you are. Come back. Please. I check every day to find out what happens to Jason and Matt, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Chapter 8

It IS coming! I'm finishing up a VERY busy semester at school and it is taking longer than I anticipated. But it is coming, I promise!! --elno2015

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Matt is a real asshole if he believed Adam that easily. Can't wait for your next chapter!

Write soon pleaseeeeeeee!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
@elno2015

how soon? im dying here

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

Ahhhhh. Need to read the end of this . . . !

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Yey!!

Yey!! thank you @elno2015.... ;hit us with the next chapter when your ready :) good luck on your studies ...

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

Man. I hope there is more to this story

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Fantastic Story

Surely Chapter 6 wasn't the end? 😡😂

SorensenSorensenalmost 8 years ago

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

DownandDirty21DownandDirty21almost 8 years ago
please please

please finish the end of this story. I love the characters and really want to see how the ending turns out.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
MORE

Please please please update!!

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