All Comments on 'The Romantic Capture'

Good SHORT story. More to come.

Your excitement from submission arouses me as your Dom. I know the story is Lez but I still turn it to me and how I'll have you serve me in every way.

Write on McAngela

CANT WAIT FOR THE REST

Lovely story and I hope you continue with another chapter. The only thing that spoiled your writing was that you failed to read your draft before submitting. I may sound strange when I suggest you used too many words: for example "I had had to resist." Better if it were simply I had to resist. Also where you used brackets: these should never be used in stories - 'and (was it my imagination) a finger movement ... It would have been better for continuity if you had written - and; was it my imagination: a finger movement ...

Please keep writing because you tell a good story. Five stars.