All Comments on 'Monsters in the Mountains Ch. 03'

I really like your story but have to comment some of the things that do sound wrong to my sense of reality (even in a story there has to be some reality) to be enjoyed.

Jordans libido for one is just unrealistic - 8 women and having sex not once but several rounds in one day - day after day? This really is a fantasy ficition.

He is having a sore shoulder and still is taking down trees (with one hand?)

Please think this trough - it´s the same with the sex and letting sleep a woman on this same hurt shoulder? Such small but important things should be seen by any of the proof readers....

I also think he is rather rich as it is, being sponsered with most of the thing he needs. He could have paid some thousand dollars more to Jason, knowing that his relatives from the past weren´t able to do this... just giving me a sense of justice (as the reader).

Love the concept and the series and look forward to more....much more. Thanks

I really like this story, and can't wait for the next chapter. the only thing that is bugging me about the story is sometimes you mix up the names. you'll start talking about one person but will call them by another name , like Megan and Katilyn.

Just wish it was shorter during the chapters!

Great Story, love reading it!!!

I'm glad you decided to continue this story.

Good one

Keep them comming

Thank you for continuing this story, it's one a really enjoy.

Thank you for continuing this story. I will say I have enjoyed this soooo much. I'm amazed by the detail you include, I know its not easy to get the flow correct and we really like it.

symtron

I like your story and I am so thankful that when you post, you post length, depth and movement in your story line. I think what fascinates me is your imagination in describing the Bigfoot group. However, I still find the sex scenes involving the Bigfoot beyond gross so I skim over that.

I think the sex scenes in general detract from your story. I think Jordan is just not a guy I would be attracted to. He's kind of boring actually. It's the situations he happens to find himself in that create excitement.

I predict Jordan's next big exciting adventure will be with poachers who have captured one of the babies, but Jordan's self defense lessons will kick in and he will also have a gun somewhere, now that you've introduced them into the story line.

The polygamy bit... Sorry that's just not selling to me. What exactly is it about Jordan that makes two dynamic, sexy women want to suck his dick? Nothing really. Yup, he's a nice guy with a big dick but other than that Jordan is the canvas upon which life happens and he reacts to. With the exception of his engineering and building skills, the guy doesn't contribute much to the relationships.

I love your story, and your imagination that has brought it to life. I hope Jane gets to come home soon and that the integration of the teenage bigfoot goes well. I'm praying that the 3 humans are able to pull off their week long stay of the parents. LMAO ( I am sure there are going to be funny moments with that chapter! )

I really appreciate your comments and votes. I read every comment and email sent to me and will often consider if it can help me become a better writer, so thank you to everyone who gives feedback.

@ladyparts, I appreciate your coming back and commenting on chapter 3. You're far from the first person to say that the sex scenes aren't working for them.

From now on I'll stop putting any major plot points in the sex scenes. Feel free to scan them for the end if they aren't your cup of tea. You won't miss anything important to the story in the future.

As for your take on Jordan, I apologize to you and any other female readers, that he isn't the typical romance novel man. I write him based on the man I want to be.

He's tall and handsome, smart, loyal, brave, resourceful, honest and kind. It also doesn't hurt that he's a good listener, and was wealthy even before he inherited the land.

He's passive in matters of sex, while the females are often the aggressors. In the fictional literotica world, this is often the case, especially in stories written by men. I understand that that's a turnoff for many women readers, as is the idea of multiple female partners. It's a key plot point for this story, however, and I recognize that it's not realistic.

As for two sexy and dynamic women wanting to suck his dick, again it's a fictional story, where things like that happen. Keep in mind that Jordan and Megan fooled around their first weekend together, but they feel in love over the phone, during the work week with their hours long calls at bedtime.

Jordan fought two much larger male Bigfoot, he rescued Jane even though she could have killed him. He's passionate about Bigfoot, which is Megan's shared interest, and supports Kaitlin's passion in horses.

Megan and Kaitlin both have unique backgrounds that lend to them wanting what Jordan has to offer.

Megan has been alone most of her life, moving constantly and never forming more than superficial relationships with anyone. In Jordan she sees the possibility to put down roots and build the family she's never had. She spent hours getting to know him in chapter 1, and letting Jordan get to know her. She's never let anyone in like that before.

Kaitlin grew up in a conservative household where she's been kicked out of the nest in favor of her brother. She's questioning the rules she grew up with, and also sees a future with Jordan, since they will both be pursuing the same career. Jordan is honest with her, and that is her main prerequisite after her failed college relationships.

Both women have latent bisexual tendencies (I know, not realistic, but again it's fiction written by a man). They are finding themselves enjoying each other's company as much as they enjoy Jordan's, and this chapter they started exploring that.

I hope I've cleared the relationships up for you a little, and helped explain what the women see in Jordan. I am working on the next chapter of a different story, but will start on chapter 4 of this story soon.

Bob

For some people writing for this site it is all about sex. You take the time to build relationships and that makes the story more believable. Keep up the good work. I look forward to you continuing this story.

I really enjoy this story. I realize I am reading science fiction and therefore there is a certain amount of suspension of disbelief that is expected. I really like your character development. Thank you!

And got sucked right in. 5*

Page 3, Jordan is talking to Kaitlin about horses, and suddenly it's Megan... then it switches back. A few scattered typos, but on the whole, an engrossing and absorbing read. Really enjoying the tale. Now, I'll go read chapters 1 and 2, and find out about what I missed.

Thanks for sharing! -- T.J. Skywind (Computer's broke until payday, otherwise I'd log in.)

oh please... don't stop...

BUT extremely glad I did. One can argue about typos and editing but I think that all takes a back seat to the story-telling. You are gifted with imagination and your ability to convey the thoughts and emotions of your characters is very well done. If it were easy everyone would do it. You have crafted a unique little universe and I am really enjoy everything about it. Just promise to write the story to completion and follow your heart's leading and not compromise because of what someone may or may not like - it is YOUR story to tell - there are a lot of us who want to see how your story plays out.

What MacIntyre said.

I hope we don't have to wait for 2 months for the 4th ch

Great story, appreciate your posting it and am enjoying it tremendously. Hopefully can see how it develops and eventually ends (quite a few chapters from now if we're lucky). Thanks.

Great story, good development. Delightfully creative.

IS THAT I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MOAR!!

I'm glad with the story progression it's not to fast or slow. The new male was an interesting idea. I truly hope you keep up the good work.

And leaving it on a cliff-hanger? The villagers anxiously await the next missive. Failure to provide the next installment might cause them to light torches and pick up the farm implements.

As portrayed, Megan and Kaitlin are realistic, and I find the motivations for their willingness to share believable; their reward is being among these close genetic cousins, learning the social dynamics and building on their careers. Normal people tend to become affectionate those they have sex with, so their willingness to extend that away from the mining camp is understandable. For all three, they get the social support from members of the same cultural and general economic background to help solidify their relationships.

The comments about Jordan's activities while injured are well taken. And his is a bit of an Energizer bunny, but that's part of the fantasy bit; eight is a lot of women to keep satisfied, and those who develop feelings will want more of that attention, possibly leading to stress and conflict among the women for priority.

Congratulations on having put forth a decent-sized novel. But don't take that as an excuse to stop!

And yes, my computer's finally fixed. (I do have my own villagers to placate.) Good luck!

Speaking only for myself. I'm a fan of non-human erotica, the first story is one of my favorites of all stories, not just here on Literotica. I haven't found many erotica stories with female Bigfoot, so this series stands out.

I read the first one, non-stop. I enjoyed the second one, but I found myself skipping the scenes with Jordan, Kaitlin and Megan. I'm not interested in reading about humans.

Jordan is depicted as a guy, that every other guy wants to be. He's got all this wealth, two sexy girls that wanna screw him all the time, and he's got Dr. Stein, ready to hand him anything his little heart, desires. We get it, Jordan has a silver spoon in his mouth and a lucky horseshoe in his back pocket.

I read this installment, and again I was skipping the scenes with Jordan, Kaitlin and Megan. The title is "Monsters in the Mountains" Why are we getting nothing but three people and their love-triangle with lots of sex? Should you re-name it "Jordan, the immensely, lucky man?"

I just hope the story gets back to its roots, more inter-species loving and less threesomes with cheesy dialogue. Even the scenes with the female Bigfoot are being neglected. It's over in a few words, but when it's Jordan, Kaitlin and Megan, it's long and descriptive.

Completely agree with "Where's this going?" comment. The story turned from "suspenseful adventure" into "chronicles of the first world problems".

Still looking forward to new chapters. Thanks for the story.

In response to anonymous and dry_opinion,

Please keep in mind that this is a site for amateur writers, and I apparently need to work on my foreshadowing.

Dr. Stein has been haggard and overworked, and Megan all but told Jordan that he's fighting for Jordan's sake against the board of directors. If Jane's baby turns out to be Jordan's, Dr. Stein won't be able to keep the gravy train rolling, since the political implications on human-Bigfoot hybrids will get tricky.

Yes Jordan has had incredible luck up to this point, but I've been trying to hint that he's on shaky ground with the organization. If they turn against him, the immense power, influence and money that they've used to help Jordan could be used against him.

As to your point about bringing more focus on Jordan's relationship with the Bigfoot, it's well-received. I have been working on developing those relationships for the next chapter, and not short-changing the scenes with Bigfoot.

I still believe that Jordan and the two human women form the backbone of the story, including their 'cheesy dialogue.' As I've said before, I'll stop adding plot points to the sex scenes, so feel free to skip the sex scenes that aren't working for you.

I believe that relationships are the heart of a good story, and the relationships between Jordan and each of the Bigfoot are fairly simple. At this point, the love triangle between the three humans as they work to establish their roles and relationships is driving the story, since there's more complexity and drama there. It will swing back to the Bigfoot as the chapters unfold, and their progress with sign language allows for a little dialogue.

The first two chapters had big fights, which affected the details of the rest of the chapters. This kept the focus on 'suspenseful adventure.' Chapter 3 was heavy on the drama, but weak on adventure. I'm a big fan of adventure, but I also want to lay the groundwork for a deeper story than 'superhero Jordan and his band of Bigfoot sidekicks.' There will be more adventure in future chapters, though.

Bob

i have enjoyed reading this a lot, and like others have reread it. As to some of the comments prior to mine, if they do not like the way you are writing the story then they should write something on their own and see what kind of comments they get. as with all stories it slows down and speeds back up. there were parts that was a bit boring to me also but it also builds the background of the story. If someone just wants sex then again they should either start writing for themselves, read something else or just shut the hell up. Keep up the good work you are doing a good job regardless of what others may think. I hope the next chapter is not long in coming, and also waiting on the next chapter of suck in the moment.

I don't really care for the nonhuman stories. This however is one of the best stories I have read! WHERE IS THE REST! This is worse than waiting for episode 7!

I dont really read non human stories that don't contain werewolves or vampires. Tho story however is wonderful. I picked it up and then cried that its only three chapters long so far. I will wait checking everyday for the next installment. Please don't make me wait too long.

I love the way this story is flowing, this would make a great book. I can't wait for more, I am hooked on your writing and check back often for anything on any or all of your stories. Keep up the good work, as I await the next installment to any of your stories.

Looking forward to more.

I am sure there are things to complain about but I haven't found them yet.

Will keep looking though.

Hope you are able to continue with what has been a unique story so far.

Thanks

i hope that the next installments are not as long in being posted as i have enjoyed this one a lot and also Suck in the moment. Keep up the good work.

maybe a bit faster please !

cool story! . . Love the intelligence and way of life of the big foots!, now i'll have to deal with d wait! Ugh!

Bob, I have enjoyed all the stories you have posted. 5☆'s on all. This series is by far one of my all time favorites. Been a cryptozoology buff since i saw "something" way back years ago so "Monsters in the Mountains" combines two of my favorite late night read topics. Hoping you don't let the critics get to you. We all got our own likes and dislikes and in this amateur site, you are writing for you. It's your fantasy so go with it. Those of us who love it just appreciate you sharing.

Lol. Totally didn't see that one coming. Nice cliff hanger!

I look forward to seeing more. Can't wait to see how things unfold

Great story! Can't wait for the next instalment.

I love this story it has been written well, I do hope you finish it I would love to be in a place full of Bigfoot Ladies. you have such a gift when writing you know how to get us up and then let us down slow just in time to bring us back up on a high. I do hope to see more of this story..

Thank You .....Rob

Can't wait for chapter 4. So many questions? How's Jane? And the babies? Who's the father? Are you going to tell mom and dad about the Bigfoot? Keep up the great work, it's fabulous!

Pretty awsome spin on any old myth just found and read all 3 chapters and looking forward to number 4 and the meeting of parents

I don't usually stray to this side of Literotica but I'm glad I did. Read all 3 parts one after another. Can't wait for part 4. 10/10 IGN

Please keep writing ! Love this story!

Really enjoyed this one!!Well done.Hope chapter 4 comes faster hehehe.Great spin on the BIGFOOT myth

Its been 3months nothing to see here

Had a few good writers die before finishing, thought I would check.

One of the things that I don't like with some of non human stories they start out as a coming of age tale and a month within the story later the guy is king of the vampires, with a harem of hundreds. Or the woman wants to have his baby mere hours after meeting him for the first time, something women don't do . I am hoping this story does not go down that road.

I hope this becomes a movie before my times up. lol

Only thing i didn't like is that they are trying to add a adolescent male Bigfoot to the family which I feel is just gonna cause problems and it might take one of the Bigfoots from Jordan harem!!!!

Two issues I had with the story: #1: You don't build a house solely out of 2x4s. You use 4x4s, 2x6s, 2x8, and up to 2x12s. You especially don't use them for floor joists, as they won't support the load. #2: You need to keep track of your girls - you had Kaitlin explaining why she liked riding horses, but then Megan said how she loved the orgasms they gave her.

Great job. Lol. Can't wait to read about how the characters handle the comedy show of multiple family members who don't know each other and poor Jordan going back and forth. Bound to flub up. Lol.

Time for Jordan to just tell the parents the truth, nothing but the truth!!!

Good story, but yeah, major continuity issues. You have to keep the names consistent!

I believe 🥩🤙🥩

Fantastic work. The relationship(s) between the humans was devolving but with the explanations and conversations it began to feel more authentic. Megan's insights on Jordan's actions and their impact on big-foot human relations was absolutely stellar. Truly one of a kind. 5 Stars

side note: no horse breeder would ever give a horse away for free.

I applaud your bravery with choosing the unique premise of sex-with-bigfoot (while throwing in a little polygamy) storytelling. While the story may seem far-fetched (because it is) you bring it down to Earth (or the lower atmosphere at least) with good dialog, plot, and grounded (albeit kinky) characters. I'm lovin' it! 5/5*