The writing is good, and the premise is interesting. So keep going. But don't post single first chapters only, when they only set groundwork.
by
Anonymous01/10/16
Agree with "too short"
So far your story has been ordinary but competently told. Emily is an appealing character so far. I've rated you at a three and await the next chapter.
I'm in for your story and then... don't stop an erotic tale before something happens. Either get that pen going or leave and never cross my path again ever... hate a teaser.
by
Anonymous01/10/16
Great!
I think this is great! Can't wait to read the next chapter!
by
Anonymous01/11/16
Great beginnings...
I can see happy days ahead for Emily and Tom. Maybe Tom sports a bit of chest hair on his muscular chest for Emily to touch, and maybe even taste? Imagine her seeing him without a shirt, or with the shirt unbuttoned, and his hairy treasure on display!
English
Too short for a first chapter
The writing is good, and the premise is interesting. So keep going. But don't post single first chapters only, when they only set groundwork.
Agree with "too short"
So far your story has been ordinary but competently told. Emily is an appealing character so far. I've rated you at a three and await the next chapter.
so that's it?
I'm in for your story and then... don't stop an erotic tale before something happens. Either get that pen going or leave and never cross my path again ever... hate a teaser.
Great!
I think this is great! Can't wait to read the next chapter!
Great beginnings...
I can see happy days ahead for Emily and Tom. Maybe Tom sports a bit of chest hair on his muscular chest for Emily to touch, and maybe even taste? Imagine her seeing him without a shirt, or with the shirt unbuttoned, and his hairy treasure on display!
great start
I love your writing style and this start :)
Decent start
Hope to read more
love it!
Looking forward to reading more.
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