The Road to Hell

Brother Love

Finish it please

i like flash story

because that sometimes is the only time the authors can offer their wonderful; story like this one. However like this one it begging to have body of a full story to be told. by Q.
great story for flash... but i want more ... call me greedy.

A nice author

But, a half-ass effort. Way down the list of your worst stories. Write a real one next time.

Agree with annony

It was okay. Not up to your usual standards. Unfinished.

REVERSE ROLES FOR CON-WOMEN

and even tho they are born quite rapidly, but, they evolve. TK U MLJ LV NV

It's a FLASH story!

The author clearly pointed that out. Unfinished? Would you REALLY want 5 pages of Marge's life story?

Nice

Excellent flash tale. The stupid whore cunt got hers in the end. Time for her to walk the streets.

Five Stars

Very good story about people that never learn...

Very good story about people that never learn from life lessons...4*

Loved it

Q , I'm not a writer nor do I retain much of the few college writing courses I took many years ago, but I think that writing a great lil Flash story is probably harder than writing a full length one. The great Papatoad was a master of the flash story, and I'll put this one up with some of his best ones ! 5*'s
Cpprcrk

Spontaneus Combustion Bitch

Wow, this bitch burned herself. When you think about it, they all really burn themselves in one way or another. The only real question is, "Are you smart enough to stand back when they go up in flames?" (By the way, it is not over for the ex either. Once a cheater, always a cheater - Brad will never really be able to trust her)

always a treat

It's always nice to see that qhml has posted a new story. Even the short ones are gems. 5 stars.

3*s

A short story packing a big emotional punch!!
Thanks very much qhml1.

AMerryman

Time to take a crash course and get certified to broker real estate ?

I feel an odd sympathy towards the narrator. She's a,woman of a certain age, with uncertain means. Very concise and skilled work by qhml1. He gave me a focused portrait of this woman in present moments and I know absolutely all that's necessary. The narrator's future is trending decidedly down and her past is prolific prologue.

The major question of this piece is evident

WHY does this woman, who is so damned vulnerable, want to go to such great lengths to intrude in the life of someone who is so blatantly antagonistic?

I mean, sure she wants to make things right for her friend, but at some point (like the bar) she had to have realized that ship had sailed. Instead she wanders into blatant illegal territory?

A woman who is so self centered would not care that much about her friend, nor feel a sense of loss. I know this woman. She lives down the street from me. Empathic, moral, altruistic and self reflective are NOT words I would use to describe her.

Wow I don't know what to say

I'm usually a card carrying member of the BTB brigade but this story has me feeling... pity for her?
Good work qhml, you managed to make me feel bad for a self destructive bitch. That almost NEVER happens. 5 stars.

What happens to all the good-time girls when they get old?

Well they either reform their narcissistic slutdom

OR

They just quietly burst into flames.....

No, sorry, that's not right.
They seldom go quietly!

Thank you, Q, always a pleasure to see something new from you.
MUCH appreciated!!!! As always........

You left one out dear annony!!

The old good time girls became your wife. Gave it a 5

Well written as usual

You have a back of developing the characters enough to sell any story plot. These ones were developed (semi-demensional) just enough to support the story perfectly. Your stories most often than not generate an emotion of some type in each reader. Guess that's what an author aims for... Thanks for sharing

ha ha ha!!!

I LOVE to see bonnie/vastie go all "dear annony" nuclear!!!

Excellent Flash

The lady did not notice what was going on around her, just what she wants. Nicely done.

Well done. More thought provoking then you think, . . .

until you've had time to think about it. Lots of philosophical aspects to ponder.

Overall quite a fantasy, unfortunately. In real life, Main Bitch would find another sucker and get resettled with doofus number four. When it comes to beautiful women, there's no fool like an old fool. And as to risking her third marriage to help the friend she misled into adultery? Nah, women that selfish only take risks to help themselves. So some other excuse for her persistent attempts to help reconnect the stupid bitch she misled is needed to up the believeability factor. But nice try.

As to all the others living happily ever after, probably not, but let's hope so. If husband #3 was stupid enough to marry Main Bitch in the first place he probably made no better choice the next time. Stupid is a chronic incurable disease. Discovering that you've asked a skank out on a date, that's a mistake. Marrying her? That's just stupid.

The only person who probably came out OK is the guy who was being pursued by Main Bitch to reconnect with Minor Bitch. If she allowed Main Bitch to influence her to the point of committing adultery, then, at least at that point in her life, she is just too ignorant to be anyone's wife, and God help any children she has. Her ex is much better off. So Main Bitch just provided the litmus test, and Minor Bitch failed. And since she did it with three different men, for a year, we can assume her regret and remorse was mainly due to getting caught. We can hope Minor Bitch is now sadder but wiser, but you can bet her new hubby will spend the first years of their marriage sleeping with one eye open.

So, thank you for your time and talent.

pathetic revenge fantasy

Get a life. Get help.

Good short.

Liked this one. 4/5

What's funny is this reminded me of a story I read recently that claimed to be true. Supposedly a pretty twenty something woman was posting on one of the various "sugar daddy" sites on the internet that she was looking for a man making at least $500K a year to marry. The story says she got a response from a CEO who basically said that marrying someone like her was a horrible financial decision for any many and that she should look elsewhere for a husband. The antics of the narrator here in desperately searching for a rich man to marry made me think of that tale.

Well

You've written some of the best stuff on this site. This is pretty far down from that.

My thoughts:

1. I don't care that it's unrealistic for a guy to basically throw his life away and go on the lam to avoid a woman. I don't care that 99% of LW stories have magic prenups while less than 1% of first time marriages with less than $1,000,000 in starting assets have any kind of agreement. I only care that these "easy out" solutions have been used to death by authors here. They are so brutally prevalent as story tropes, here, that they suck any excitement out of a story.

2. Yet another LW 'hero' who gets to shout at people in public, throw things, and beat people up without consequence. I know this character (it's basically the same guy every time) appeals to the fantasy of having the world at your back, when the opposite feels true when actually divorcing, but the way LW writes him (here included) he's basically a walking tantrum. I neither relate to nor care to see him win. And honestly, my feeling is that the harder authors try to "tough guy" him, the more he looks like a total pussy. If the world didn't treat this guy like he was special...if it didn't softpaw him and cater to his misbehaviors, I don't see that he would even be capable of handling two ineffective and stumbling cheaters.

More than that, he's just become fully generic, on this site.

Your writing is strong as ever, and I still love your best work to death.

How clueless can someone be?

I'm sure there are people like this around. I have been fortunate enough not to meet any of them. Yes, I have met single minded, arrogant people but most of them, slapped hard enough by like, did manage to learn. Marge seems unteachable and it makes for some funny moments. The piece is a lighthearted romp and I took it that way. Nice work.

This was one of your worst stories.

It was so unrealistic, I couldn't enjoy it, which is a shame because most of your work is fantastic.

The husband is yelling in a bar, assaults a woman and she is the one the bartender kicks out? The cops threaten to arrest her on bogus charges when she has two witnesses to back up the facts? That's a lawsuit no police force wants. From there it gets worse.

I understand that some husbands, and wives, lose their heads when they discover their spouse is cheating on them. The newspaper is filled with stories about men and women who murder their spouse and children for one crazy reason or another. But at no point will the police, bartenders or the general public support a man who is throwing a goddamn temper tantrum because they are not mature enough to deal with their shit in private.

This kind of crap is what I expect from the run of the mill authors who can't write, you're better than this.

Oh Boy

What a story

I have to agree with most of the comments.

This was far from your best or even good. I think I'm being gracious by giving it 3 stars.

Hey all you dumb shits!

This is a fictional story! It can go ANYWAY the author wants it to go. And he picked the way we would ALL like to see it go (at least for me)!

I for one don't see it being so far fetch that you wimpy fools would argue about it!

I loved it! 5*!

Nice!

I think it was just fine. Nice to see the instigator get what's coming to her. Thanks for a fun read.

PLEASE

No more flash stories from you, please! Pretty please!

If you really think you have another idea for a good one, get Ashson to edit it for you ... or talk you out of it! Listen to him carefully! Just because you create great luxury cars does NOT suggest that you can also design a short-track racer!

With ALL due respect (which is a touch less than it was before this was posted!)

3*

Loved it.

# 5

lacked... everything

context, reason to care about the character, plot, everything

pure closet-cuck bait

Interesting story of an unrepentant bitch

The scary part? Is I know a woman EXACTLY like her. That's what made the story a good read for me.

Excellent flash story. Could have been called, "Evil Woman" or "Portrait of a Bitch"

I found this little flash story to be entertaining. Don't understand the negative comments. In terms of plot, to paraphrase Forrest Gump, "Evil is as evil does." Five stars from me.

the reasons

for the negative comments are two fold most are fools who can't read and chew gum at the same time and the others are so sick and full of hate that there is no pleasing them.

I found this one intriguing and enjoyable.....

...if a bit terse.
The topic and how you opened the story gave us a lot to chew on. I for one, would like to see this story rewritten as a full, broad book. I think the work of fleshing out each of the main characters, their histories, their attitudes, thoughts and beliefs, as well as fleshing out the events that led up to the beginning of this missive would make for epic reading.
I, for one, especially enjoyed the 'life in the aftermath' perspective it offered. I suppose you could glue any number of existing stories to it, but starting fresh and writing epic, might just be what this forum needs. I'd also be thrilled, I think, to see where our failing Damme goes after this. Getting more of 'the rest of the story' is somewhat unique here, and for my part a welcome addition.
Thank you.

the reasons

for the negative comments are this "story" failed to develop any pathos, no one cares about these cardboard cutouts or what happens to them except die-hard closet-cases.

@ previous anon

When you say "no one" , you must solely mean you and your fellow trolls . "I " enjoyed the story as did the majority of the commentators.

I think "no one" means

non-closet cuckolds - the insecure wannabe cucked crowd love shallow misogynist drivel like this story.

Not one of your better stories

Marge was too much of a caricature, too unbelievable.

LOL

@Anon According to you the stranger creampie eating husbands are not misgynist alone. If a husband changes his cheating wife to a better second wife those husbands are misogynist according to you.
I remember a woman poster (wife and mother of 2 sons) he wrote in her comment in LW.
She explained to her 2 sons "NOT TO START MARRIAGE!"

This would be a great story for any other writer but only very average coming from Qhml.

Marge wasn't believable as someone who cared enough about others to put herself at risk by trying to fix the mess she had a hand in making with Kristy. Todd beating up Harold was retarded for two reasons, he knew how much Marge was cheating on the guy so its obvious she didn't give a shit about her husband and if he really wanted to fuck her over, Todd only had to tell her husband what Marge was up to.

And scumbags who cheat on there spouse with multiple people for over a year don't be as broken up as Kristy is portrayed never mind any wishing them well bollocks. You are far to good a writer and storyteller for such cliched tripe.

Duna, stop your babbling this instant!

And take your tiny pecker out of that billy goat's ass!

Goddamn Albanian shepherds, always babbling and borking billy goats....

Glad you are back

Happy to see you here you.

It was a nice short story.

I hope you write more

Appaling

what those who never write can criticize. Well done as much as possible being in the flash category. The character is well developed as it can be considering limited space. Who is to say she could not be motivated to help and too socially inept to know what she is doing is contrary to her purpose. I mean, obviously her emotional intelligence is in the borderline limited range. That would be like an IQ of 70. Well done for its genre.

The less than original guy (aka the Unoriginalist)

stated the situation very well. He may be the best commenter on the site. He is fair, objective, and discerning. Qhml1 has written some of the very best stories on this site, but once again failed to live up to his very high standards. He has only himself to blame. He is capable of great things and average seems so... average when he posts it.

appalling indeed

As the previous comment indicates, some excellent and talented writers can see this shit story for what it is - mediocre at best.

Instead of making retarded assumptions about other commenters, how about taking your own advice and STFU until you post a story.

Good story!

Fairly short and sweet. If you notice, some people don't like ANY story. So I wouldn't pay too much attention the bad comments.