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English
Loving it
Story is really coming along. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Yes, that's much better.....we're still not being treated to any internal dialog, so we don't get to....
....look into the minds and hearts scoff the characters,cut you are letting us know them a little bit at a time....bravo!
And the spelling, grammar and general flow of the thing is much easier on the eyes and mind.
Thanks you! Please continue.
Agreed!
Part 2 is much improved on pt 1, but you still need to develop character and dialogue. I'm intrigued to learn how the women came to be in the house, why they have agreed to be subjected to the will of the controller and where they are going when they leave.
More please
Please do continue. Looking forward to reading more... As others have said - good improvement in spelling / grammer and overall feel
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