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English
Very trite
Not believable and very amateurish writing. 50GG tits on a 25 year old? Get real. And cliches like "massive shudder", mammmoth cock", "explosive orgasm", and "earth shattering orgasm" are not good writing. Further, desribing a fuck from entry to orgasm in 2 lines just doesn't make it. You need a lot more practice to write well. Try developing the scene better, and get a thesaurus.
Painful Reading
Wow.....her breast were " filling up the whole hospital room"...?Ummm---NO.
Not only was this story cartoonish (and NOT in a good way), it was poorly written.
Try,try again!
-Amber Kelley
not quite right
This story was, indeed, poorly written. There were no names used, nor was there dialogue. Not only that, but everything happened too fast. How would the doctor know the woman's exact measurments and bra size the second she walked in? There were many spelling errors, as well as gramatical errors, and cliches galore. Maybe writing stories isn't for you--maybe you should try poetry, or something.
Twist
Nice twist at the end of the story!!! More please!
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