A Broken Wing

Sweet

well done!

EXCELLENT!

Just that - EXCELLENT!

Well done!!

I would love to see more chapters to this story. I really think they deserve more time in our minds and hearts.

BRAVO!!!!

Chapter 2 coming soon??!!

Lovely details

In addition to the lovely, positive story of two gentle and loving people, your use of touching details was most welcome...the 3 beloved movies, the food enjoyments, the references to nature...please give us more.

Really liked it

The ONLY thing I didn't like is when he grabbed her by the wrist and held her from moving. I'd expect that to trigger her.

Very good!

The ending was abrupt and suggests another chapter. Please!

I would have enjoyed this more if not for the tense that you used.

This would have flowed better if you had used past tense point of view. This was made to sound like a script or a fantasy. When writing in first person point of view, using past tense verbs works much better.

powerful emotions

at first I didn't understand the title, A Broken Wing, then as I read the first page and learned how broken she was as result of abuse, it made sense. 5 years of fear, broken bones, and bruises because of a little man's unfounded jealousy is a lot to put up with.

to be afraid to look in the eyes of another, to be alone with them, to be touched, even a sudden movement being the trigger of a flinch from fear of another blow. a shallow, empty life. I say empty, but, yes there is a void, but it too is filled, with what will happen next? how much will this one hurt? and what did I do wrong to deserve this?

vo, to write with this much clarity you must have seen or experienced some of this. it is the only way you could put it on the page as well as you did.

let's hope all with broken wings are able to break free, heal, and soar.

Magnificent story

Loved it, but I had to take a star away because of the weird mixture of past and present tenses at the beginning, and for changing her surname.

A need for chapter two

The reader is left wondering what ultimately happened. Also,is her surname Macy or Mason?

Simply amazing, ty for sharing :)

:)

A lovely relationship, and one that resonated with my fantasies of someone who is as caring, who has the same name.