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English
I wanna see more
Definitely a good start, looking forward to reading some more!
Punctuation
Interesting start - but please use punctuation. Full stops will make the lines so much more readable.
Please, please, please use punctuation. It is unreadable without it.
Like to see where this is going, so more please.
Grammar and punctuation!
The poor grammar and punctuation are so distracting that I did not bother to finish reading the story.
PLEASE find an editor and re-submit the story.
I really like the story, but please put some punctuation in there. It would take it from being a 5 to a 10.
Quotes! Please!!!
It really needs it...
Potential
Your story needs punctuation and an editor but otherwise shows a great deal of potential if you could fix that and add some more backstory so we know what is really going on then I would give you the full 5 stars.
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