You worked so hard on this so I had to give you a five.
Your main character is so strong, yet so weak. Many of us, especially with regard to our first love, have a very hard time getting over their rejection. But we eventually do. He couldn't, and despite the unusual circumstances, it's a stretch to believe that he couldn't as the story unfolded. However, there wouldn't be a story if he could have. That fact is that's what's so wrong with much of the criticism on this site. If the characters in these stories acted as they should, or at least logically, there really wouldn't be a story to tell, or in the very least, a story worth reading. You told a good story, and the only criticism that I have is that it could have been told a little more economically.
Matt I have read most of your stories and friends you at Lush.
You are the best at stories that teach the reader the need to accept relationships and people as they are and not the way you want. In many of your help stories the husband has been cheated on or treated badly. You show at the end that he understands that love, lust, and desires are just not in control of his wishes. It is hard to realize that you can't make someone love you. When you have lost you need to hurt a while then find someone who you can love. Thank you for the great stories and life lessons.
Paul
This hit me at some point today...how did she know Jenna was Ron's? I'd really like MM to answer that one. That could seriously swing the dynamic of the original relationship even further south. She didn't hope or guess, she knew.
... but, good god, I wish a less long-winded author had written it. Also, even after 22 long pages, there were still left more questions than answers. Not good.
by
Anonymous01/28/16
Cuckold story
Please give a warning at the top of the story. The idiot David suffers so much for no valid reason instead of moving on and having kids of his own. By the end I could see the reason why the ex left the whiny wimp.
by
Anonymous01/28/16
Enjoyed, Interesting.
The psychological detail made the 22 pages intersting and enjoyable I thought.
By the end I was convinced I'd just read a modern version of the book of Job.
Regarding some plot details I think Jenna needed to go to rehab.....don't recall that she did in the story and that would have been a no brainer.....her transistion into college was just too smooth after such a horrific event. Also, the donating of the kidney, though definitely Christ-like, not happening in the real world....I almost stopped reading at that point but decided to hang in till the end...and I'm glad I did.
I thought that you had tired of trying to teach us something about the difficulties of being of below average size, without compensation in wealth department. Personally I agree with his hating his brother and really did not see his brother doing anything useful about penance, I would much prefer that the wife had caught his brother screwing around and then asked to be pardoned. Still what she did from the beginning turned her into the epitome of cheating slut and it is strange that they never realized that the daughter would never have had the problems that she had if she had gone through life with Dave as her "true" Daddy. Still quite a tour de force and his new wife is a very interesting person...
by
Anonymous01/28/16
Absurd !
Why didn't he get on with his life and get his own kids instead of getting traped by his aunt and bro
I first want to thank you for going through the time and trouble to post this. Unfortunately, i thought it was a huge waste of my time to read the whole thing. There was not a single person in this story to care about and the lead player ( David) is pathetic.The story line is pretty absurd too. I mean, why didn't they divorce right away or at least right after the parents died.
I appreciated the time you took to write this long story in detail, but I don't see him forgiving his brother and ex-wife after doing all the things they done and kept doing to the daughter he thought was his. The aunt was nice, but wanting him to forgive them repeatedly didn't sit well with me. I could see him forgiving his daughter and son-in law because they were being manipulated. The lead character running and hiding didn't sit well with me
In some sense this represented a Magnum Opus for the author. It contained all of the major themes from his other stories and tried to present them in a way that would be convincing. The beta male who is disrespected by all the members of his family but who is at heart a good man, a new woman who disrespects him in her own way by trying to force him to forgive his family's prior disrespect, and his eventual submission to the bombardment from all those whose failure to show respect have destroyed his life. Having read most of the author's other stories, this story is somewhat cliched. The writing, however, is so much better than most of the garbage that passes through this category.
Having completed this major work I am hopeful that the author will now feel free to explore plots where his prototypical beta male decides to stand up for himself instead of submitting to the beat-down. For example, what if our "hero" in this story had decided that Aunt Delia's decision to betray his confidence was the last straw and that he from that point on rejected all attempts by his family to reconcile. It would be an interesting character study to consider the consequences of this type of decision on each of the characters in the story. I hope the author has the courage to begin to explore this type of deviation from his normal narrative. I encourage him to do so.
by
Anonymous01/29/16
Well, that was 22 pages I can never take back....
....but really, it was far too long with far too many technical issues to fully engage me.
Not talking about content here. I'm not looking to write a long critique. Just that I feel that some serious technical editing and story rework might have both reduced the unnecessary and extraneous text, and taken a good deal of the stumble-read from the spelling, grammar, number and person errors out of the mix.
It was an interesting idea, but unfettered, ran amok and devolved into a less engaging and less interesting story.
I will leave it at that, for as I said, I'd rather not add more to your angst, nor involve myself in doing the laundry list.
Just the same, thank you.
One of the most depressing stories that I have ever read.
Here is a story that is so unremittingly bleak, I will never read it again. All the way through I thought that David would eventually get his revenge on his slut wife and his half-brother. I thought that he would use his daughter's wedding feast as an excuse to give a speech that would belittle and humiliate his ex and her lover; I thought that there would be a moment when Stacey and Ronald would realize just how much they had destroyed David.
Why did they lead David on for 14 years before suddenly announcing that they were lovers since Stacey and David were married? Why did she offer her body to David on the eve of her betrayal? ("Here, husband, this is what I am giving to your brother only from now on!") He sacrificed his life for a daughter, who was spoiled rotten and still could not even begin to hate her mother or her 'real' father.
After the divorce, David suffered for a further 12 years ,or so. Of course, if he hadn't done these things, there would not have been a story. However, if Stacey had any sense of decency and remorse, she would have split from David immediately she started cuckolding him. Instead, he existed on a cloud for 14 years, building on his love for his wife and daughter. So, instead of ending the story with at least a modicum of remorse from the betrayers, they found that David had found a wife and they could. at last, feel free of any guilt they had of crushing David's soul for the rest of his life.
I'm sorry, Mr Moreau, I did not like your story. A redeeming quality like shortening the tale to not more than 6 pages would have been a start. Just think of the ratings you would have received had you got David you go round to Ronald's 'semi mansion' and blown his brains out before turning the gun on himself - all in front of his cheating slut? Out of character? Yes! But it would have given satisfaction to the majority of readers and it would have saved David a further decade of pain. At the very least, he should have left the country and built a new life from scratch. Every contact with his former wife or his brother caused further trauma.
After all, it's only a story! Yours was very disappointing, Mr. Moreau. The loser lost and the alpha male and his slut wife won it all. It reminded me of that film 'Funny Games'. I feel cheated. I wish I had read your biography before I read the story.
Needless to say, I won't be reading any more MM tales.
I felt a little appothetic at the beginning and wondered what would take 22 pages to resolve. Then I became involved because of the factors in the story that felt like part of my life and I was determined to find out.
All in all a masterpiece of this genre. A solid 5+!
I won't read it again because the pleasure was in finding out. I just wonder if you could ever top this one.
by
Anonymous01/29/16
PLEASE..... NEVER...,,AGAIN
4 days.. that's how long it took me to read this. You should have broken it up into 3 posts of about 5 pages. A lot of mundane unnessasary chapters that should not have been submited. Way,,,way too long. Not very believable either. No man would have, or could have endured what this man did and lived. It really seemed like you were trying to see how much pain and agony you could put the man through. And the ending, no human alive would just forgive and forget. Really should have made it a little more real.
by
Anonymous01/30/16
Yes
This reminds me of Daniel Q. Steele1's "When we were Married", extremely long, lots of rehashing of details, and in his case; not really an ending, just a stop to the story/with a suggestion of possibly more stories later.
Here, MM did give us an ending; probably not really the one a lot of us would have enjoyed. I'll leave it to the other commenters to put their ending to the story (as I see that a great many have already done so). I will say that this is one of the better works by MM that I have read; but with the length of the story, I was hoping for alot more.
So, it's on to another story, hoping that it will be "the one" that will be all you can hope for in a Literotica work. Have a great day out there and live a good life (if only to piss someone off that you're not sitting around miserable and unhappy). Thanks.
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Anonymous01/31/16
WOW
What a story. Took me 5 days to read it but it was riveting all the way. Glad it wasnt broken up in segments like others suggested. Just goes to show you how a man can literally destroy himself by others comments made about him. Sure made me think.
by
Anonymous01/31/16
Superlative
you're the MAN!
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Anonymous01/31/16
Wow!! Great Storie!!
That was awesome!! The best storie I have read on here!! Great job and although longer than most of the stories on this site, definite a well thought out, well written one! Every word was needed and I actually was a little bummed when it ended!
You have ruined my day - I could not stop reading this story once I started on the first Chapter. This story is your best one by far and it deals with the cuckold theme realistically and with humanity. The one key message from this story (which I believe that you were expressing in your previous stories) is that you can not control whether you become a cuckold by another's actions but you can control your response to the disrespect. Stacy and Ronald are evil people even though you tried to portray them as just selfish. Their every action was designed to harm David. First, the cheating for 14 years rather than divorcing early on to allow him to find a woman who could love him. Ensuring that Ronald was the father of Jenna required some planning to make happen. Then when Jenna's development might point to a different father she dumps him and poisons his daughter against him. David's responses to these evil actions led to his triumph over them. Bravo!
It worries me that Matt's many unfair critics might discourage him. See here; read one Tom Clancy read em all. Same for for a dozen other so called 'greats'. Come on Ian Fleming? Matt has his themes, and everyone knows going in.
Second, how can someone condemn a 22 page novel after one page? Who are these people?
There's something too real about Matt and his critics. Take David, he behaves irrationally, like a real human being would. How many of Matt's critics see themselves in David, and how many feel uncomfortable for it, hence the hysteria.
About Matt's women: Stacey was a horror story. Jenna was cast adrift by her mother and Ron when she really needed someone, hence Chester. Rozelle, we all need a Rozelle in our lives. Like the cavalry she came just in the nick of time. Aunt Delia wasn't a real person; just a literary vehicle.
About Matt's men: Ron was a piece of shit from the first mention of his name the last page. David, the classic battered, tragic hero, trapped in a maelstrom, a death wheel, not of his making, Prometheus unjustly chained to the rock.
One more thing. The story opens in the 1980's. CJ32 mentioned DNA. Wouldn't it have been neat if a DNA test indicated David really was the father? DNA wasn't being used seriously until the late 1980's, it would have worked.
Keep the faith Matt. Keep writing. We love what you do,
Jedd Clampett
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Anonymous02/03/16
From Duna
@Nonethewiser Thank you for your comment. I started to think of persuade myself to read this MM's opus later.
I think MM has a few stories where his personal inclination to the LIMITLESS FORGIVINNESS goes to an understandable story plot. His main characters are the true saints against the BTB story husbands (The cuckolding fans accused the BTB authors for their husbaband characters to be saints).
The forgivinness could work when the betrayed person who suffered from the evil or shelfish persons becomes the SUCCESSFUL. To be kind to the earlier negative persons (cheater ex wife and her lover) could be a sort of BTB or to learn the cheater ex wife's life became unsuccessful, which is a BTB feeling too and to be kind to her is the instrument to learn this. Yes some MM's story which showed this that worked.
The readers who became angry from the 70% of MM's story, where this LIMITLESS FORGIVINNESS goes to the maximum they could not understand the 30% of MM's stories where the FORGIVINNESS worked well.
If this story belongs to the 30% of MM's stories I will not be angry......after 22 pages but too long.....once I try.
by
Anonymous02/04/16
What a bitch!
Stacey was nothing but a self serving bitch that wanted more than she had. Would have been better for everyone if they would have just left him alone. That poor bastard did not deserve any of the BS that family was forcing on him. He had every right to hate them, until the day he died if he so chose. That he reconciled with them at the end just ruined the story for me: his new wife cut off his ball and handed them to his ex. Just sad......
It really is a piece of art,
While I'm no fan of those 'happy go lucky' cockhold stories, I don't fancy bad ass btb stories ether. Truth be told, life isn't black or white and nether are the Peale living it. What makes this a special story is the fact that none of the characters were plain or smooth in their respective designs, they all had flaws, good intentions, bad decisions, stupid ideas and too high expectations. Take the Beginning for example, had the cheaters come clean after they discovered their feelings for each other or later when she turned up pregnant, the fallout would have been bad as well, but probably not as devastating as they have been. This being only an example for the variety of Mat's characters I really liked what he did with the story, I think it's one of or the best so far.
Thx a lot for your writing JJ
No problems with log stories ;)
by
Anonymous02/17/16
Ms Moreau ...
"BACK TO YOUR BEDROOM CLOSET .... ASSHOLE!!!
by
Anonymous02/20/16
Bravo
The rewrite is fantastic and the dialog is very well done. I just enjoy reading your stories. Don't stop.
5x5
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Anonymous03/10/16
not sure
Good story but sorry ending. I feel the new wife did just as she said she wouldn't do. I agree with all except stacey. She took but never gave anything. I dont see him acepting her at alll. She will always be just on the outside of everything. She was made for the self center exbrother. They will always be the ex. Just they will always be just tolerated to make life simplier. As for Jenna she has a final out by the name of her first child, more so if its a boy. THE END
Wow someone needs to break your comma key. I liked the story but the writing was very hard to read sometimes 5 or 6 commas in one sentence. Atrocious!! I found that you were constantly using commas to say the same thing you just said like "my reading of this, the story, written by you , the author, was painful, as in it really hurt." Too much just awful. I liked the story mostly but felt like you were trying to force the reader to believe that a wife who cheated for 14 yrs with her husbands brother and had his baby will be sitting down to break bread with said husband utterly unrealistic. All the rainbows and sunsets in 3 lifespans wouldn't be enough! I know this author likes to write weak men but wow. Beware of people that say "it is what it is" they are people of inaction, they just accept what's going on around them. Inaction is as bad as over reacting in my book. Gave it a one for many reasons thanx for the offer.
by
Anonymous03/16/16
here we go
the story okay so u took some of your stories and combine into one big one fine. the drama is there fine. but is it necessaries to add the cheaters love scene or the prison bitch moments. look I get it the wife is bitch and the brother is slime u don't have to drive the point across again and again. why is it that any of your male character always come up so short when they try to be a man. why must they be shittin' on and tried to remain true in some sort of honorable way so in the end the male get on some sort of soap box to claim look as me I a man I didn't sink to there level ah ha!
do u have to BTB to be a man no. u can sit there man up accept the fact she a bitch and move on. if u don't want contact with them don't if jenna want u to be in the life fine if not move on. the brother would be decked and have a firm understanding not to be around.
The problem with matt is this. he so badly want to be the hero he want to be the knight in the shining armor for a proven whore. everyone know this u fuck the whore but u don't married the whore, but matt he can see the goodness and think if he SACRIFICE himself in a way, love will fine away and she will change for the better.
and I think that why most male can't stand his male characters because for most of us it only take once to be burned and we learn.
Matt my advice to u is simple. Let your male character be a man. Let him fall and get back up again without the crying or whining and climb back up. no payed whore, no army or boxing training just him and his will to move on and not to let some bitch get her way buy showing he wimp or sissy. need help look at SWO HERMIT stories that example of men acting like a man. if u don't like BTB fine then don't do it.
okay I done continue on.
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Anonymous03/25/16
another good one.
As usual, a very good story. I am surprised about the length/format and would had found it a tad easier for reading if it was in chapters. Looking forward to more of your stories.
I don't normally read long ones like this, but it was good. There was a couple mistakes, that threw me off a little, but all in all, I got the thought and the emotion involved. It was worth the read, but wont do it again, at least this one. I gave it a five, because on the convolution involved in the story.
I found it an easy read, and couldn't put it down.
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Anonymous04/28/16
Can I give you 6 stars?
Without doubt the best story from your pen Matt. I have just spent my entire day reading it. Your usual themes are pretty much all present, and you HAVE written a similar story before, but this was sooo much better. Ignore that nony mouse who hates your existence.
Thanks for a great read!
JimC
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Anonymous05/06/16
betrayal
the brothers action were not happenstance and the efforts to assuage there guit, trying to buy respectability and others(Aunt Delia) trying to throw david out with the big turd in the family dirty laundry. Sometimes you do selfish things. Recognize them, move on and do better the next time. if the characters truely loved david they would have granted him his default request and left him in peace, to find hisown happyness.
First off the author should have named Aunt Delia , Jiminy instead and David should have let his ungrateful niece hang. Additionally he should have let Ronald/Henry die of kidney failure, leaving his cheating wife with nothing but the money. This was just an illustration that nice guys get the shaft and a-holes get the gold. A simplistic story that lacked any foundation in reality
Wimps rule in every one of your stories.
Willing to let themselves be fucked, figuratively and physically because your character is the same as your Anti-Hero in every story.
Never one who has the strength to stand up, only roll over until he lets himself be wooed back with gifts and apologies for letting himself be a cuck without a backbone.
by
Anonymous09/22/16
Not again!
Matt's posting in 2016. This is a crime against literature. I hope that was his last post ever!
i have been reading literotica for years and have read literally thousands of stories and the one thing i have found is that people that are to chicken shit to use their names in comments section are for the most part pathetic. they write negative comment on someones story that they spent a lot of time on but they, themselves, couldn't write a story to save their soul. as far as this story goes, i enjoyed it immensely and went back to it many times. lets see you anonymous commenters write one as good.
You build up 18 pages of hatred from David to Ronald, there is no way you can expect the reader to believe that he would donate a kidney to save his life. That is a leap in logic too far.
Not to mention the part where Ronald suddenly became Henry for a page
A low one star I'm afraid
.... Asking the MC what he felt? Throughout the whole story, everyone is always saying to the MC " i know how you feel." Or " i know you hate us but...." They always stated how he MUST be feeling and how he needed to get over it. Believe me, if you have never suffered the same trauma as someone, you cannot know how they feel and assuming that you do is arrogant in the extreme. The only thing i would have changed in this story would be that during the last sit down at his appartment ( when they first meet his new wife) he got to tell them the story from his side, what he thought,felt, experienced etc. They never truly understood what he went through so the kept on hurting him. Could someone here ( who has more writing skill than me) maybe do a fan rewrite of this scene and post it. And if you can't post it , then maybe PM me a copy?
by
Anonymous01/09/17
Magnificent
Well almost.Where the hell did Henry come from.Suddenly the name changed and then went back.But this does not detract from a very well put together story and I really enjoyed it.It was actually painful to see what he went through and the cheating right from his wedding.They treated him so badly he was broken and he was no wimp.very well done.
English
You worked so hard on this so I had to give you a five.
Your main character is so strong, yet so weak. Many of us, especially with regard to our first love, have a very hard time getting over their rejection. But we eventually do. He couldn't, and despite the unusual circumstances, it's a stretch to believe that he couldn't as the story unfolded. However, there wouldn't be a story if he could have. That fact is that's what's so wrong with much of the criticism on this site. If the characters in these stories acted as they should, or at least logically, there really wouldn't be a story to tell, or in the very least, a story worth reading. You told a good story, and the only criticism that I have is that it could have been told a little more economically.
A novel of love and forgiveness
Matt I have read most of your stories and friends you at Lush.
You are the best at stories that teach the reader the need to accept relationships and people as they are and not the way you want. In many of your help stories the husband has been cheated on or treated badly. You show at the end that he understands that love, lust, and desires are just not in control of his wishes. It is hard to realize that you can't make someone love you. When you have lost you need to hurt a while then find someone who you can love. Thank you for the great stories and life lessons.
Paul
This hit me at some point today...how did she know Jenna was Ron's? I'd really like MM to answer that one. That could seriously swing the dynamic of the original relationship even further south. She didn't hope or guess, she knew.
please keep writing
Thanks..
for keeping me up all night reading this story. I did enjoy it. Thank you MM
A quite interesting story...
... but, good god, I wish a less long-winded author had written it. Also, even after 22 long pages, there were still left more questions than answers. Not good.
Cuckold story
Please give a warning at the top of the story. The idiot David suffers so much for no valid reason instead of moving on and having kids of his own. By the end I could see the reason why the ex left the whiny wimp.
Enjoyed, Interesting.
The psychological detail made the 22 pages intersting and enjoyable I thought.
By the end I was convinced I'd just read a modern version of the book of Job.
Regarding some plot details I think Jenna needed to go to rehab.....don't recall that she did in the story and that would have been a no brainer.....her transistion into college was just too smooth after such a horrific event. Also, the donating of the kidney, though definitely Christ-like, not happening in the real world....I almost stopped reading at that point but decided to hang in till the end...and I'm glad I did.
Good to see you posting again
I thought that you had tired of trying to teach us something about the difficulties of being of below average size, without compensation in wealth department. Personally I agree with his hating his brother and really did not see his brother doing anything useful about penance, I would much prefer that the wife had caught his brother screwing around and then asked to be pardoned. Still what she did from the beginning turned her into the epitome of cheating slut and it is strange that they never realized that the daughter would never have had the problems that she had if she had gone through life with Dave as her "true" Daddy. Still quite a tour de force and his new wife is a very interesting person...
Absurd !
Why didn't he get on with his life and get his own kids instead of getting traped by his aunt and bro
Great to have you back
Good story.
I first want to thank you for going through the time and trouble to post this. Unfortunately, i thought it was a huge waste of my time to read the whole thing. There was not a single person in this story to care about and the lead player ( David) is pathetic.The story line is pretty absurd too. I mean, why didn't they divorce right away or at least right after the parents died.
Another 5* story from Matt Moreau
Well, was that a surprise? Not at all.
The story is an interesting one.
It covers familiar ground, yet takes us deeper into the story, showing more of the psychological angst of the various players.
I feel that I grew to know the characters better as the story progressed.
And for those who quibble about Matt Moreau's plotting? Agatha Christie used similar plots and devices in each of her stories.
That doesn't mean her stories are any less popular or any less well-written. And this is as it is with Matt Moreau.
Welcome back, Matt. Hopefully there will be another story, soon?
Don't see this outcome rational in anybody's mind
I appreciated the time you took to write this long story in detail, but I don't see him forgiving his brother and ex-wife after doing all the things they done and kept doing to the daughter he thought was his. The aunt was nice, but wanting him to forgive them repeatedly didn't sit well with me. I could see him forgiving his daughter and son-in law because they were being manipulated. The lead character running and hiding didn't sit well with me
Matt Moreau's Magnum Opus
In some sense this represented a Magnum Opus for the author. It contained all of the major themes from his other stories and tried to present them in a way that would be convincing. The beta male who is disrespected by all the members of his family but who is at heart a good man, a new woman who disrespects him in her own way by trying to force him to forgive his family's prior disrespect, and his eventual submission to the bombardment from all those whose failure to show respect have destroyed his life. Having read most of the author's other stories, this story is somewhat cliched. The writing, however, is so much better than most of the garbage that passes through this category.
Having completed this major work I am hopeful that the author will now feel free to explore plots where his prototypical beta male decides to stand up for himself instead of submitting to the beat-down. For example, what if our "hero" in this story had decided that Aunt Delia's decision to betray his confidence was the last straw and that he from that point on rejected all attempts by his family to reconcile. It would be an interesting character study to consider the consequences of this type of decision on each of the characters in the story. I hope the author has the courage to begin to explore this type of deviation from his normal narrative. I encourage him to do so.
Well, that was 22 pages I can never take back....
....but really, it was far too long with far too many technical issues to fully engage me.
Not talking about content here. I'm not looking to write a long critique. Just that I feel that some serious technical editing and story rework might have both reduced the unnecessary and extraneous text, and taken a good deal of the stumble-read from the spelling, grammar, number and person errors out of the mix.
It was an interesting idea, but unfettered, ran amok and devolved into a less engaging and less interesting story.
I will leave it at that, for as I said, I'd rather not add more to your angst, nor involve myself in doing the laundry list.
Just the same, thank you.
One of the most depressing stories that I have ever read.
Here is a story that is so unremittingly bleak, I will never read it again. All the way through I thought that David would eventually get his revenge on his slut wife and his half-brother. I thought that he would use his daughter's wedding feast as an excuse to give a speech that would belittle and humiliate his ex and her lover; I thought that there would be a moment when Stacey and Ronald would realize just how much they had destroyed David.
Why did they lead David on for 14 years before suddenly announcing that they were lovers since Stacey and David were married? Why did she offer her body to David on the eve of her betrayal? ("Here, husband, this is what I am giving to your brother only from now on!") He sacrificed his life for a daughter, who was spoiled rotten and still could not even begin to hate her mother or her 'real' father.
After the divorce, David suffered for a further 12 years ,or so. Of course, if he hadn't done these things, there would not have been a story. However, if Stacey had any sense of decency and remorse, she would have split from David immediately she started cuckolding him. Instead, he existed on a cloud for 14 years, building on his love for his wife and daughter. So, instead of ending the story with at least a modicum of remorse from the betrayers, they found that David had found a wife and they could. at last, feel free of any guilt they had of crushing David's soul for the rest of his life.
I'm sorry, Mr Moreau, I did not like your story. A redeeming quality like shortening the tale to not more than 6 pages would have been a start. Just think of the ratings you would have received had you got David you go round to Ronald's 'semi mansion' and blown his brains out before turning the gun on himself - all in front of his cheating slut? Out of character? Yes! But it would have given satisfaction to the majority of readers and it would have saved David a further decade of pain. At the very least, he should have left the country and built a new life from scratch. Every contact with his former wife or his brother caused further trauma.
After all, it's only a story! Yours was very disappointing, Mr. Moreau. The loser lost and the alpha male and his slut wife won it all. It reminded me of that film 'Funny Games'. I feel cheated. I wish I had read your biography before I read the story.
Needless to say, I won't be reading any more MM tales.
This is a classic
I felt a little appothetic at the beginning and wondered what would take 22 pages to resolve. Then I became involved because of the factors in the story that felt like part of my life and I was determined to find out.
All in all a masterpiece of this genre. A solid 5+!
I won't read it again because the pleasure was in finding out. I just wonder if you could ever top this one.
PLEASE..... NEVER...,,AGAIN
4 days.. that's how long it took me to read this. You should have broken it up into 3 posts of about 5 pages. A lot of mundane unnessasary chapters that should not have been submited. Way,,,way too long. Not very believable either. No man would have, or could have endured what this man did and lived. It really seemed like you were trying to see how much pain and agony you could put the man through. And the ending, no human alive would just forgive and forget. Really should have made it a little more real.
Yes
This reminds me of Daniel Q. Steele1's "When we were Married", extremely long, lots of rehashing of details, and in his case; not really an ending, just a stop to the story/with a suggestion of possibly more stories later.
Here, MM did give us an ending; probably not really the one a lot of us would have enjoyed. I'll leave it to the other commenters to put their ending to the story (as I see that a great many have already done so). I will say that this is one of the better works by MM that I have read; but with the length of the story, I was hoping for alot more.
So, it's on to another story, hoping that it will be "the one" that will be all you can hope for in a Literotica work. Have a great day out there and live a good life (if only to piss someone off that you're not sitting around miserable and unhappy). Thanks.
WOW
What a story. Took me 5 days to read it but it was riveting all the way. Glad it wasnt broken up in segments like others suggested. Just goes to show you how a man can literally destroy himself by others comments made about him. Sure made me think.
Superlative
you're the MAN!
Wow!! Great Storie!!
That was awesome!! The best storie I have read on here!! Great job and although longer than most of the stories on this site, definite a well thought out, well written one! Every word was needed and I actually was a little bummed when it ended!
OUTSTANDING!
You have ruined my day - I could not stop reading this story once I started on the first Chapter. This story is your best one by far and it deals with the cuckold theme realistically and with humanity. The one key message from this story (which I believe that you were expressing in your previous stories) is that you can not control whether you become a cuckold by another's actions but you can control your response to the disrespect. Stacy and Ronald are evil people even though you tried to portray them as just selfish. Their every action was designed to harm David. First, the cheating for 14 years rather than divorcing early on to allow him to find a woman who could love him. Ensuring that Ronald was the father of Jenna required some planning to make happen. Then when Jenna's development might point to a different father she dumps him and poisons his daughter against him. David's responses to these evil actions led to his triumph over them. Bravo!
Hail Matt!
This was a great story, a terrific story!
I do have some qualms...
It worries me that Matt's many unfair critics might discourage him. See here; read one Tom Clancy read em all. Same for for a dozen other so called 'greats'. Come on Ian Fleming? Matt has his themes, and everyone knows going in.
Second, how can someone condemn a 22 page novel after one page? Who are these people?
There's something too real about Matt and his critics. Take David, he behaves irrationally, like a real human being would. How many of Matt's critics see themselves in David, and how many feel uncomfortable for it, hence the hysteria.
About Matt's women: Stacey was a horror story. Jenna was cast adrift by her mother and Ron when she really needed someone, hence Chester. Rozelle, we all need a Rozelle in our lives. Like the cavalry she came just in the nick of time. Aunt Delia wasn't a real person; just a literary vehicle.
About Matt's men: Ron was a piece of shit from the first mention of his name the last page. David, the classic battered, tragic hero, trapped in a maelstrom, a death wheel, not of his making, Prometheus unjustly chained to the rock.
One more thing. The story opens in the 1980's. CJ32 mentioned DNA. Wouldn't it have been neat if a DNA test indicated David really was the father? DNA wasn't being used seriously until the late 1980's, it would have worked.
Keep the faith Matt. Keep writing. We love what you do,
Jedd Clampett
From Duna
@Nonethewiser Thank you for your comment. I started to think of persuade myself to read this MM's opus later.
I think MM has a few stories where his personal inclination to the LIMITLESS FORGIVINNESS goes to an understandable story plot. His main characters are the true saints against the BTB story husbands (The cuckolding fans accused the BTB authors for their husbaband characters to be saints).
The forgivinness could work when the betrayed person who suffered from the evil or shelfish persons becomes the SUCCESSFUL. To be kind to the earlier negative persons (cheater ex wife and her lover) could be a sort of BTB or to learn the cheater ex wife's life became unsuccessful, which is a BTB feeling too and to be kind to her is the instrument to learn this. Yes some MM's story which showed this that worked.
The readers who became angry from the 70% of MM's story, where this LIMITLESS FORGIVINNESS goes to the maximum they could not understand the 30% of MM's stories where the FORGIVINNESS worked well.
If this story belongs to the 30% of MM's stories I will not be angry......after 22 pages but too long.....once I try.
What a bitch!
Stacey was nothing but a self serving bitch that wanted more than she had. Would have been better for everyone if they would have just left him alone. That poor bastard did not deserve any of the BS that family was forcing on him. He had every right to hate them, until the day he died if he so chose. That he reconciled with them at the end just ruined the story for me: his new wife cut off his ball and handed them to his ex. Just sad......
A pice of art
It really is a piece of art,
While I'm no fan of those 'happy go lucky' cockhold stories, I don't fancy bad ass btb stories ether. Truth be told, life isn't black or white and nether are the Peale living it. What makes this a special story is the fact that none of the characters were plain or smooth in their respective designs, they all had flaws, good intentions, bad decisions, stupid ideas and too high expectations. Take the Beginning for example, had the cheaters come clean after they discovered their feelings for each other or later when she turned up pregnant, the fallout would have been bad as well, but probably not as devastating as they have been. This being only an example for the variety of Mat's characters I really liked what he did with the story, I think it's one of or the best so far.
Thx a lot for your writing JJ
No problems with log stories ;)
Ms Moreau ...
"BACK TO YOUR BEDROOM CLOSET .... ASSHOLE!!!
Bravo
The rewrite is fantastic and the dialog is very well done. I just enjoy reading your stories. Don't stop.
5x5
not sure
Good story but sorry ending. I feel the new wife did just as she said she wouldn't do. I agree with all except stacey. She took but never gave anything. I dont see him acepting her at alll. She will always be just on the outside of everything. She was made for the self center exbrother. They will always be the ex. Just they will always be just tolerated to make life simplier. As for Jenna she has a final out by the name of her first child, more so if its a boy. THE END
If I ever see another comma........
Wow someone needs to break your comma key. I liked the story but the writing was very hard to read sometimes 5 or 6 commas in one sentence. Atrocious!! I found that you were constantly using commas to say the same thing you just said like "my reading of this, the story, written by you , the author, was painful, as in it really hurt." Too much just awful. I liked the story mostly but felt like you were trying to force the reader to believe that a wife who cheated for 14 yrs with her husbands brother and had his baby will be sitting down to break bread with said husband utterly unrealistic. All the rainbows and sunsets in 3 lifespans wouldn't be enough! I know this author likes to write weak men but wow. Beware of people that say "it is what it is" they are people of inaction, they just accept what's going on around them. Inaction is as bad as over reacting in my book. Gave it a one for many reasons thanx for the offer.
here we go
the story okay so u took some of your stories and combine into one big one fine. the drama is there fine. but is it necessaries to add the cheaters love scene or the prison bitch moments. look I get it the wife is bitch and the brother is slime u don't have to drive the point across again and again. why is it that any of your male character always come up so short when they try to be a man. why must they be shittin' on and tried to remain true in some sort of honorable way so in the end the male get on some sort of soap box to claim look as me I a man I didn't sink to there level ah ha!
do u have to BTB to be a man no. u can sit there man up accept the fact she a bitch and move on. if u don't want contact with them don't if jenna want u to be in the life fine if not move on. the brother would be decked and have a firm understanding not to be around.
The problem with matt is this. he so badly want to be the hero he want to be the knight in the shining armor for a proven whore. everyone know this u fuck the whore but u don't married the whore, but matt he can see the goodness and think if he SACRIFICE himself in a way, love will fine away and she will change for the better.
and I think that why most male can't stand his male characters because for most of us it only take once to be burned and we learn.
Matt my advice to u is simple. Let your male character be a man. Let him fall and get back up again without the crying or whining and climb back up. no payed whore, no army or boxing training just him and his will to move on and not to let some bitch get her way buy showing he wimp or sissy. need help look at SWO HERMIT stories that example of men acting like a man. if u don't like BTB fine then don't do it.
okay I done continue on.
another good one.
As usual, a very good story. I am surprised about the length/format and would had found it a tad easier for reading if it was in chapters. Looking forward to more of your stories.
good story
I don't normally read long ones like this, but it was good. There was a couple mistakes, that threw me off a little, but all in all, I got the thought and the emotion involved. It was worth the read, but wont do it again, at least this one. I gave it a five, because on the convolution involved in the story.
I found it an easy read, and couldn't put it down.
Can I give you 6 stars?
Without doubt the best story from your pen Matt. I have just spent my entire day reading it. Your usual themes are pretty much all present, and you HAVE written a similar story before, but this was sooo much better. Ignore that nony mouse who hates your existence.
Thanks for a great read!
JimC
betrayal
the brothers action were not happenstance and the efforts to assuage there guit, trying to buy respectability and others(Aunt Delia) trying to throw david out with the big turd in the family dirty laundry. Sometimes you do selfish things. Recognize them, move on and do better the next time. if the characters truely loved david they would have granted him his default request and left him in peace, to find hisown happyness.
good story 2nd read
it's 6:20 AM, I'm going to bed, it was worth the read, even though it was the second time.
nice read
well thought out and well written 5** BUT I would have let the prick die leaving her in bits -now that's karma lol
Amazing Story!
You take us to some dark places, Mr MM, but the healing that comes at the end is just beautiful. Ah! Aunt Delia! What a lady!
Thanks for writing!
Really Pretty Bad
First off the author should have named Aunt Delia , Jiminy instead and David should have let his ungrateful niece hang. Additionally he should have let Ronald/Henry die of kidney failure, leaving his cheating wife with nothing but the money. This was just an illustration that nice guys get the shaft and a-holes get the gold. A simplistic story that lacked any foundation in reality
Same tired stories
Wimps rule in every one of your stories.
Willing to let themselves be fucked, figuratively and physically because your character is the same as your Anti-Hero in every story.
Never one who has the strength to stand up, only roll over until he lets himself be wooed back with gifts and apologies for letting himself be a cuck without a backbone.
Not again!
Matt's posting in 2016. This is a crime against literature. I hope that was his last post ever!
Ugh
This thing crys out for an alternative ending
anonymous
i have been reading literotica for years and have read literally thousands of stories and the one thing i have found is that people that are to chicken shit to use their names in comments section are for the most part pathetic. they write negative comment on someones story that they spent a lot of time on but they, themselves, couldn't write a story to save their soul. as far as this story goes, i enjoyed it immensely and went back to it many times. lets see you anonymous commenters write one as good.
Non Logical
You build up 18 pages of hatred from David to Ronald, there is no way you can expect the reader to believe that he would donate a kidney to save his life. That is a leap in logic too far.
Not to mention the part where Ronald suddenly became Henry for a page
A low one star I'm afraid
i pray mm
dies beaten to death by the shame/ghosts of his male characters, his version of men is weak and evil.
Did anyone bother....
.... Asking the MC what he felt? Throughout the whole story, everyone is always saying to the MC " i know how you feel." Or " i know you hate us but...." They always stated how he MUST be feeling and how he needed to get over it. Believe me, if you have never suffered the same trauma as someone, you cannot know how they feel and assuming that you do is arrogant in the extreme. The only thing i would have changed in this story would be that during the last sit down at his appartment ( when they first meet his new wife) he got to tell them the story from his side, what he thought,felt, experienced etc. They never truly understood what he went through so the kept on hurting him. Could someone here ( who has more writing skill than me) maybe do a fan rewrite of this scene and post it. And if you can't post it , then maybe PM me a copy?
Magnificent
Well almost.Where the hell did Henry come from.Suddenly the name changed and then went back.But this does not detract from a very well put together story and I really enjoyed it.It was actually painful to see what he went through and the cheating right from his wedding.They treated him so badly he was broken and he was no wimp.very well done.
Way too long
to be holding grudge like that. That can't possibly be healthy for a person.
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