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English
NO!
If you must publish this unbelievable crap, have the decency to proofread first.
If you mst write your dumbas comments dear annoy!
send it to your mother. We are sick of reading you fag ass comments. 5 for a good story!!!
Bad Writing, Bad Story, Waste of time.
Seriously, proofread your work. If you did proofread and found this acceptable, go back and take an English class.
Appalling!
(Though you'd probably write it something like "appleing"!)
Spellcheck
For Gods sake please use spellcheck, reading that was painful and I can overlook most poor grammar!
Learn to Spell!
Please learn to spell. You didn't even bother to use spellcheck. Please don't subject your readers to this kind of carelessness if you are serious about being a writer.
The story was very nice, but ended a bit too soon and left the reader bewildered. I see a chapter 2 and maybe more.
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