All Comments on 'The Bridge - A Little More'

by justbobkc

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  • 281 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Not to bad at all

I personally think that this is the best piece of yours that I've read ! Of course you did take quit a bit of Artistic license with Richard Gerald's original story, but I truly liked the direction that you steered it in ! 4*'s

I have mentioned before that I would love to see the tradition of authors expounding on other author's stories (with permission of course) that used to be common practice on Literotica. It seems to me that when FTDS came upon the scene, that everyone else just seemed to stop doing this , well it's looking like FTDS is gone and not coming back so I call on more authors to allow their stories to be expanded by others, and other authors take up the challenge ! Seems like a win-win to me unless an author plans to publish later. In which case why would they post on a free site to begin ????

I also enjoyed Richard Gerald's monologue at the beginning, it gave me insights into the story that I didn't even consider before . In my mind the politician in question had to be Bill Clinton !!! lol chuckle !

Cpprcrk

LordSlamdawggLordSlamdawggabout 8 years ago
A Bridge too far ?

A fair amount of the ' revelations ' were not fresh per se to me . Richard Gerald gave the impetus in original when Lyle's character speculated that something had happened to Gloria's soul during her running and makeover regime.

But the idea of Gloria and Gabe had been trysting all along tolled like a bell in my head . Before I thought the extended recreational drug use that Saturday combined with pent up attraction from Mistletoe liplock had made Gloria and Gabe careless and callous. justbobkc 's explanation fits much better.

My skin was crawling as I read Gloria's extended POV. Kudos for there are many very talented male writers who either shy away from doing first feminine person narrative or confine themselves to token attempts . Maybe it felt over the top with the frustrated Dominatrix's ( or is it sadist ? ) still heated anger over failed Memorial weekend power play, but what fit like a custom sized leather glove, fresh from factory was the idea Gabe and Gloria WANTED to hurt him.

My idea was that the cheaters' mutual narcissism and attraction had made them blind to concept of Lyle's pain and heedless to any potential repercussion. Again justbobkc explanation rings all too true. To be honest , I thought the original story ended at a good point.

Lyle's deep stoic makeup and work ethic that carried him from impoverished student and struggling provider to his family, then thru Gloria's betrayal as well. But this sequel took ' The Bridge ' and extended it's span straight across an even deeper and daunting crevasse. Gloria's psyche is warped for life. Who knew ? Not me. Full marks . *****

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
A Very Superficial Smackdown

Gloria's behavior in The Bridge was not just over the top, so to speak. It was downright cartoonish. Does an intelligent woman undergo such a crass metamorphosis out of the blue? Really? Strutting around and mocking her husband in public, humiliating him in such a blatant manner?

She should be the center of attention on a website of psychological case study fiction, or something like that.

At any rate, this recipe-like internal monologue of Gloria's ridiculous superficial prerambulations shows a complete break with reality. It simply isn't believable. RichardGerald committed this error as well, but the current re-writer, justbobkc himself, has gone there in spades - kind of like spooning sugar onto your Frosted Flakes; it's food maybe, but soon you will be writhing in pain from any number of maladies if you continue to swallow it.

Please put some depth of character into these critters. They seem like little robot grey aliens with no flesh or blood.

sugnasugnaabout 8 years ago
Excellent!

Good Writing, better plot. The only thing that could make this better is him getting the kids away from this arrogant whore.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Posting a crappy addendum to a good tale!

Go back and repeat 3rd grade, author.

TwentysevenTwentysevenabout 8 years ago
Come Again?

This woman is a deluded bitch but her delusions pale into insignificance besides those of RichardGerald. Gloria's behaviour is understandable!! She has a right to expect forgiveness and Lyle should have given it!! Have you no self-respect? Fuck me dead, how do you people arrive at these conclusions? Do you seriously believe their marriage is anything but ashes after her contemptuous treatment of him?

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveabout 8 years ago
Cool

You took the main characters and added personality traits not in the original. Added something but changed the tone. In the end the cunt, er I mean the ex-wife Gloria would have literally had a nervous breakdown and wind up in the looney bin still asking herself the same question, which was the last line in the tale. "How could it have all gone so wrong. I am just so much smarter than him..."

Ha ha fucking cunt.

avidfaavidfaabout 8 years ago
Really enjoyed this

A very satisfying ending to a very good tale. What I liked most is that this story picked up on the key insight of the last, i.e., that the entire marriage was an illusion. When the last ended, I was afraid he was struggling to come to terms with the situation. In this, he had clearly grasped the reality from the mists of illusion and successfully built his new life on that.

Well written, but more importantly to me this morning, emotionally satisfying.

cap5356cap5356about 8 years ago
great ending

great ending to the story. this seems more the truth of the situation as far as she is concerned. she sounds like a person that does as she wants to try to get what she wants no matter what. keep writing

bruce22bruce22about 8 years ago
Very good

I basically thought the Bridge ended just right Listening to Gloria's reflections left me furious. She has to be the prototype for an evil social scientist. To have her err with all her superior knowledge and intelligence (two very different things IMHO) was wonderful. This surprisingly turned out to an excellent read.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
A Worthwhile Addition

Thanks for writing this add-on which I enjoyed. I liked the original story and that ending was satisfactory for me. Based on RichardGerald's letter to the author I'm very glad he ended the story where he did. How many 'handsome alpha males' can a wife be forgiven for fucking before her husband dumps her?

HarddaysknightHarddaysknightabout 8 years ago
Where did this go?

They talked again and the status quo prevailed. I saw nothing new. Everyone always wants to hear the cheating wife grovel and watch her suffer. That seems to make the story enjoyable for them.

"What happens next?" is so often asked at the end of a story. Stories are a glimpse in time. In life, all kinds of shit happens next. "Tell me he married his sister-in-law, secretary, lady next door, the boy friend's wife, or a very wealthy widow while the wife suffered all sorts of hell. Tell me the boyfriend lost his balls, his money, his wife, and his dog and I will call your story brilliant and vote a five. If you don't give me the happily ever after part, I will feel cheated and compelled to ask for an "ending".

The original story was a complete story. This second chapter is an aide to those that lack imagination and want to be spoon fed the classic cheating wife punishment ending. It's a bridge to nowhere.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
I liked this story but am waiting for another Chapter of "Corporate Family Dinner"

I agree that you made this story even better. The wife got what she deserved. I am waiting to see if the wife in "Corporate Family Dinner" ends up lonely and alone or if the they reconcile. Given this ending, I suspect the former.

Thanks for your work.

impo_61impo_61about 8 years ago
As said in the comments, a very good addition...

As said in the comments, a very good addition to the original story...It's always like this: Cheaters think they are smartest people in the world, much more smarter than their spouses...4*

tazz317tazz317about 8 years ago
IF THAT LAST THOUGHT FLOATS HER BOAT

therapy definitely can not aid her. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
@ Harddaysknight

Where did this go? It defined Gloria's true character and explained her reasoning and feelings of superiority and entitlement. In the original story her character was not developed much, just a few brief descriptions from Lyle's point of view. And Lyle is shown to have grown and matured and become much more aware of his true circumstance. So yes, this was a good second chapter, and gave us elements we were only guessing at before. Well done, Justbobkc.

lonewolf3307lonewolf3307about 8 years ago
A continuation of "The Bridge"?...

... Maybe but I don't think so. Obviously, like most of us who read the original, you had great contempt for Gloria and Gabe and this version certainly put both characters in a very bad light. The only problem is that was actually done in the original, albeit in a much more subtle way. While I applaud your effort to put a period on this really good story, I'm afraid that you've missed the point. When you change the tone of a story and the personality of a central character so drastically, unfortunately, you wind up writing the ending to a story that was never written. There have been some rare instances where continuation by a different author have worked magnificently, "How High a Price" definitely comes to mind, but, again, this is very rare.

I hope you don't think that I'm trying to denigrate you as an author because that is certainly not the case. I thought your writing style was quite good but you just missed the mark on content.

Lex1Lex1about 8 years ago
Wow!

Have to admit that I was a bit skeptical about a second chapter to this story. I liked the original and felt it should have been left as it was. However...

This was amazing. It gave a look into a woman who was not so beautiful. I would expect that anybody who would create a woman like this to make her, as another commenter put in another story, "Stangish". Yet this was tastefully done. She was selfish. She was manipulative. She was narcissistic. and she was completely believable.

Very rarely does a continuation by another author elevate the original story. But this one did. Nice job.

You dear author have just made it to my favorites list. I look forward to more or your work.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
What's up with this

Two dickwad wannabe's hijack someone else's story and write sucky "alternative" endings? Write you own lame ass stories and leave other people's decent stuff alone. Both of you need to fuck off. What a couple of creepers. Finishthedamnstory you ain't.

looking4itlooking4itabout 8 years ago

As I read this I began to wonder if you paid for every instance you could plug "Alpha Male" into tithe story and if there was bonus payment for "Prince". I must agree with some others, this really added nothing to the original and pushed the margin for being true to the characters. Adding depth to the fact that she isn't really an intelligent person at all, that as a psychologist she has a surprisingly limited clue about people, and that she is amazingly shallow wasn't necessary. The fact that you LEFT IT EXACTLY where the original author did is the one true shocking realization of this "extension".

javmor79javmor79about 8 years ago
80/20

This was an excellent look into the psyche of a woman who chooses a man to marry. More times than not they don't marry their "prince charming". Even those that do marry their prince find that the reality doesn't live up to the fantasy. Most times women just find a man who exhibits more of the qualities of their "ideal mate" than they lack. He may not be as handsome as she envisioned, or funny, or talented. But he may be a good husband who loves her and treats her right.

The prince that woman often dream of finding is the "Alpha Male" who has enough beta qualities to make them feel safe and secure as well as appreciated and valued. That is why they often look for the "Bad boy with the heart of gold".

The woman in this story was extremely short sighted. A lot of people often fall prey to the "80/20" illusion of life. Simply put, when 80% of your needs are being taken care of, you fail to see that as gift. It is just how things are. You find yourself yearning for that last 20%. Short sighted people will jeopardize the 80% for the chance at the 20%.

This woman did that. The Alpha male that she was looking for was that 20. The rest of it was already being supplied by her husband, but it was automatically given. Like the sunrise. People don't appreciate the sun until it starts raining for days at end. We don't appreciate the summer until the winter. This woman felt she was entitled to the 20%, and that her husband was in her way. When he was gone, the 20% just felt like 1/5 of the whole pie.

The funny thing is that she still didn't get it at the end. I found myself laughing at her last remark. Very classy author.

I loved this continuation. You have talent, and a set of brass balls for taking on a story by an author like Richard Gerard.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
You can't polish a turd but this is a good effort 4 stars

I didn't like the original. I think RC is MM with a new name. The original story was only 3 pages long and spent 90 percent of the writing describing Lyle's jobs, and his surroundings (the drive up to the lodge, the bridge, the lodge, the hike, his office) and discussions with his various bosses. More time is spent in conversation with his former boss and partner Bernie than with Paula. In the original, Kyle sees his wife kiss his boss Gabe under the mistletoe and learns 6 months later that they had talked about the Memorial day weekend getaway. That is the extent of their interaction prior to Paula having an affair in his face.

RC's comment to this writer that the inspiration to his story was a comment from a friend's wife saying that she would have fucked the handsome politician she admired if he had asked even though she was a loving and had never been unfaithful in the past. RC says that she and RC thought that the husband would have forgiven her. RC goes on to say:

"I guess, what I am saying is that I don't see Gloria's behavior as all that odd. It is certainly not common behavior but not unreasonable either. The strange behavior comes from Lyle."

What planet does RC come from? Gabe was no Brad Pitt or Bill Clinton. He was Lyle's boss and a person that he had to work with every day. The idea that RC thinks that it is strange behavior that a husband would object with Paula fucking his boss under these circumstances is ridiculous and why I never understood the praise for the original story. Paula and Lyle spent 4 hours driving up to the lodge but RC doesn't include any discussion about Paula's interest in Gabe. Lyle has no hint that anything is going on until he gets to the Lodge. As I indicated in my comment to the original, no man would have put up with the show she put on.

This story at least gives us Paula's perspective. The weekend at the lodge was the culmination of a long affair which caused her to think that she could have her cake and it it too. It fails to give us any examples in Lyle's behavior for Gabe or Paula to think that he would be ok with her affair. There is no way that Gabe's confession of the details coupled with video of their trysts would have been news to Paula at the reunion dinner. In the real world Lyle would have used that information to get a better deal in the divorce or to get custody of the kids. Judges would frown about giving custody to a drug using whore.

I still don't like any of the characters. Lyle is content to make his money and pick up the random woman on the weekend. There is no discussion of his interactions with his children. I still see no evidence that Lyle or Paula loved each other. They simply married each other because the conditions were right. Paula thought she could help make him a better man. She decided she outgrew him and looked to move on. I don't get HDK's comment about the ending of this story. The ending has to be the same. These two people should not be together. They simply have children in common. The children don't seem to play an important role in their lives. These are two selfish people who are not nice.

reasonable man

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Waste of time

Poorly written, unrealistic characters. Keep trying.

SKHPSKHPabout 8 years ago
Too evil character to be of any interest

In a decent LW story there should be not just black and white. When I read this woman's internal dialog, I lost nearly all interest in reading further. 3* for sharing.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
The only waste on here is the asshole dear annony

another story he read and then bitches like the old ugly fag he really is. 5 for content and effort and for pissing off the asshole of LIT!!

justbobkcjustbobkcabout 8 years agoAuthor
Thanks

To everyone that's read the story and left comments.

Again, a very public thanks to Richard for allowing this far from perfect effort to have been published.

The genesis for my own thinking was merely recently learning that about 1 in 25 people ARE actually "psychopathic" - as determined by standardized psychological testing. And I felt Gloria could have been one. Often such people are more intelligent than normal and also very successful professionally, occasionally becoming CEO's (no surprise, eh?) but also surgeons, MD's, highly paid sales types, etc. Many are smart enough to realize their own personality disorders - and work at faking empathy and to try and be more in-tune emotionally with their wives, or husbands, and kids and co-workers, etc. One should applaud these people - this is a very positive kind of "fakery." (Watch "Scorpion" the TV series show, at least once in these terms. ;-)

Like all humans - it's a broad range and a lot of variation. The really bad part of the range is the few criminal psychopaths and especially the serial killer kind. The good part is the many more highly efficient and successful working members of society who DO often marry and raise good kids and put the extra effort in and try so hard - because it's NOT just "natural" to them. Gloria could have gone down that path herself - and maybe she did in that alternate Universe where one of many Gloria's might actually exist. (Only lifelong Heinlein fans might get this weirdness...)

In the few things I have published here - I get a lot of comments like "people can't change!" As if our personalities are all set-in-stone, and then our actions themselves are. But what about "free will" and "volition"? I've met people who have changed, personally - at least as far as outward demeanor and actions. And isn't that what's most important, in the end, as far as other people? Human's aren't scorpions. We don't HAVE to sting "just because that's our nature." Look up the life of Francis Xavier, e.g. - what's not often covered in merely short encyclopedia biographies is that not only was he once a professional military warrior and officer - but that he also fought and killed other men in personal sword duels in affairs of "honor". Then he completely changed and helped found the Jesuits. Rejecting all forms of violence personally and as his ruling ethic.

Ah. Please excuse me. Sometimes the hardest part of writing - is the stopping. Check out my "Corporate Family Dinner" serial and you'll get it. But anyway a heartfelt thanks again to all. Even my harshest critics who cared enough to comment. ;-)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
I appreciate the effort. The Gloria as Slutula option. Why not?

Honestly, I found the original author's response more intriguing than your whole story. You just provided your concept of the details of Gloria as a monster and a fraud. Which always begs the question, how could a cognizant husband not discern such a selfish hateful woman, from the very beginning? Gloria could not have deceived Lyle so completely and for so long without his active complicity in his own deception. So in my mind Lyle shares in the guilt for setting himself up for Gloria's betrayal. Lyle should have seen it coming. And thinking back on it, he finally admits, he did see it coming, and simply turned his mind away from the reality and the confrontation.

Lyle was a weak husband. And he seems to confirm Gloria's assessment that Lyle really has a weak character when Lyle admits that, with his new money and cynicism he is becoming just as shallow and self-centered as the so-called Alpha males Gloria wanted from the beginning, but couldn't get, yet. Lyle's demure complacent husbandry gave Gloria the time and means, and money, to become Alpha Male meat. For 16 years Gloria used Lyle as a holding place, until her alpha male fantasy could be realized.

But as Paula voiced, it didn't work out the way it is supposed to. Yes, Lyle destroyed Gabe, and Gloria. But in the end Lyle not only destroyed Gloria, but is on the path to destroying himself. A very depressing story, so far. Maybe yet another author might take Lyle's life from this point, and show us the aftermath, good or sad, of Lyle and Gloria burning their bridges.

But what is more fascinating is the summation by RichardGerald of the characters he created: "The thing is I believe Gloria has a way back. We will accept her behavior. We may admire Lyle but we condemn his actions." All I could think was, What The Fuck? Accept Gloria's wanton brutish intentionally cruel behavior? And condemn Lyle, for what? For being a detached timid wimp in not confronting Gloria? What did Lyle do worthy of condemnation? Wait a minute. Are we to condemn Lyle for destroying Gabe and Gloria? Really?!? Oh, that's right, what Lyle did was unlawful, and must be condemned. Gloria didn't actually break any criminal laws (she obviously breached her marriage contract). Lyle did break the law, even if it was understandable. Actually that simplistic submissive attitude makes sense from an author who portrays husbands as weak, conciliatory, and browbeaten by dominant selfish women. Read RichardGeralds other stories, like "Can You Remember My Name." Another example of a man who let his wife dominate, use, and disrespect him, until the marriage was meaningless and the wife, again, became a wanton cruel slut looking for a real man and thrilling sex. And again, the husband goes nuclear, which RichardGerald must also condemn.

But there is a principle in law, and most definitely in life, called provocation. Gloria and Gabe provoked Lyle, and he responded as best he know how, with the means and opportunities he had available. It is technically against the law within most city limits to discharge a firearm. But that law may be violated to stop a criminal, or put down a rabid animal attacking a person or a pet. I agree that what Lyle did was technically unlawful. But it was appropriate under the circumstances. I would love to be on his jury. Forgive Gloria but condemn Lyle? Amazing, and absurd. Not in my book.

Thank you justbobkc and RichardGerald for interesting and thought provoking stories.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
lol guess she did sleep her way thru school and think only with her cunt, you know being the only female in the world with one

4* for sluffing off a useless whore

frontlinecasterfrontlinecasterabout 8 years ago
Didn't like the original

But even that was better than this. Never understand the obsession the btb crowd here has with proving authors wrong about their own characters. Good forbid a story have a little depth or flawed characters be a little complex or sympathetic. Nope! Everything has to be black and white, all women are whores, all men are blameless and perfect in all break ups, fuck those bitcches.

WyldcardWyldcardabout 8 years ago

As another commenter pointed out, there is a very common thread in the BTB crowd that the women have to be some combination of: a) delusional, b) unbelievably stupid, c) psychopathic.

And they somehow hid this for years (decades) until it all comes out.

You point out some 1 in 25 statistic, but it's 24 out of 25 within BTB stories. They aren't realistic individuals. They are a reflection of the writer's issues with women, whether fears, resentment, or to just use the simple term, the writer's misogyny, and need to write revenge porn, that turns the woman in the archetypal Lilith, the female as demon/betrayer/destroyer/mother of evil.

The flip side, of men who seek and relish being humiliated and emotionally abused is another archetype which is used too often. Both sorts of stories are really more about a particular fetish (woman hating revenge porn vs masochistic cuckoldry), but neither generally leads to a great story.

TornadoTysTornadoTysabout 8 years ago
In Depth Analysis

A good read into yhe physiology aspect of a cheating wife.

However in the real world the husband seldom gets mote from the divorce than the woman. I do not mean just ylthe house, children, support maintenance etc.

How does the ooor ez husband come back from a complete life change !

Thet certainly do not get to part own a company and earn a shed load of new money !

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Garbage

This story is far beneath you skill set. I've read and enjoyed all of your stories but this one didn't do anything for me.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
HUGE mistake to publish this mess

RichardGerald is a very good writer. Whether or not you like his stories is determined by the individual. But this was a mistake to try and finish a story that you obviously had very little insight into. Your story turns both characters into very unlikeable people. Especially Gloria. She comes across as a self centered, manipulative bitch. Lyle isn't much better. He seems to have crossed over into the "I've got money and I'm better than you" set. In the end, this added nothing to the original story, didn't seem to follow the angst of the couple and dealt not at all with the fallout with the children. Not a worthwhile sequel.

1 star.

eightytuneseightytunesabout 8 years ago
Just a BUNCH OF WORDS

In followup to an ANONYMOUS?, I agree this is NOT a USEFUL ALTERNATIVE. Should have just left well enough alone.

hawkeye0007hawkeye0007about 8 years ago
Good Story

If the candy ass anonypussies don't like it, tough shit. The husband was tough and smart. He was unwilling to be manipulated and abused by a scheming bitch. It was a welcome addition to the original story. Keep writing and I'll keep reading. 5 stars

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Nice

My goodness it seems you pissed off a few geniuses.

I was afraid you would suggest he take her back after some bizarre conversation, but she just got more of what she deserved. If it were me, I might have given her a poke and left her. Then too, I'm always a fan of murder and mayhem or bizarre comedy so if Lyle played along and just left her tied to a bed ass up in some crappy motel with the door open that would be funny. Or maybe Gabe dies a horrible, mysterious, painful, death and somehow Gloria takes the fall even though she fucked the prosecutor and the Judge. But heck, I'm no perfectionist like your critics, so you did good. Still I it would be nice if the original author did a follow up and gave her a few mental lashings, you know like One Flew Over the Cucos Nest: I got my mind right boss"! Hey, yea, there ya go, she spends some time in a Mental Hospital....Hey ya know one day, I'm gonna write my own crazy story and maybe just so the critics can pick on my grammar. Looking back, maybe it was 7th grade and that fag English Teacher kept given me bad grades for my best work. First I gotta think up a neat nom de erotica and register! There ya go, you grammar trolls pick on this.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
BTB wet dream

I like to burn the bitch as well as anyone else--but it's more satisfying when she's not a cardboard cutout bimbo and when he's not an impossible paragon of sainthood.

Otherwise, it's just another "she was a slut and he got even" yuk yuk yuk scratch belch fart have another beer adjust flaccid pee-pee in stained boxers.

--story.

Richard Gerald is one of the better writers on Lit. If the ending to his story doesn't satisfy your hatred of women, write a better one. This wasn't.

Mordant96Mordant96about 8 years ago
Good Job!

Don't you just hate the kibitzers who have never written anything but feel free to criticize everything. Hey folks, this is entertainment, not real life. Literary license is with the the author. If you don't like what you read submit the perfect story and read the stupid feedback.

justbobkc, You write very well and I'm looking forward to your next effort.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Good job!

This is not the way I read the original Gloria, but you have drawn a woman who would behave as she did and who doesn't even deserve this dinner meeting. I saw her as one of those wall flowers who had become desirable and didn't know how to cope with it. I think your interpretation is equally accurate, and utterly despicable. Well done.

Dirty_SteveDirty_Steveabout 8 years ago
Alright

It went along the path expected. The wife's POV was disturbing and sometimes too unbelievable for a person with a phycology degree. The table conversation was missing her thoughts. Was she really bothered by his response and rejection or was it a calculated mistake that she will bounce back from? The challenge for telling her story is to write the bitch she had become but keep her human with some grace. All of us carry good and evil. All of us make mistakes and can be misguided. The story continued the BURN of the stupid wife but it would be nice to see the effect on the family and some rising from the ashes for at least one, if not both the parties.

The parenthesis inserts into the dialogue through me off as I wondered if these were thoughts...but they really seemed like thoughts that would have been said.

I still enjoyed the revisit of the original characters and the story. Thanks for this second part.

SleeplessinMD4SleeplessinMD4about 8 years ago
OUTSTANDING!

5 Stars! You keyed upon the one aspect of the actions by Gloria which made no sense. She was a trained psychologist (PhD no less) so how could she be so wrong about a man she claimed to love over 16 years? Obviously based upon their last talk (in the original story -The Bridge) she was trying to manipulate him into taking her back. She blamed him, made excuses for Gabe and defended her actions as a mistake. You make an excellent point about her efforts to become that sought after beautiful woman rather the fat girl. She spent 8 years as a runner to become the prize for her prince (who was not Lyle). So when Gabe started calling her after the Christmas Party it would be unlikely that he and Gloria would have not had fucked prior to the Memorial Day Weekend. That would explain how she was so comfortable with Gabe that Saturday morning of the Weekend.

You went to her despising Lyle over the 16 year marriage in your story which is plausible but unlikely. She was a fat girl who desired a prince but settled for a ordinary guy who loved her. She might have loved Kyle as her Husband and Father to her kids in the first half of the marriage but resentment toward him grew to the point that she conspired with Gabe to humiliate him that Memorial Day Weekend.

If all she wanted was a one time fling she could have had it without him being present. Why did she expect her husband to suffer this humiliation? Her lover was his boss so her actions would affect his (their) livelihood. Richard Gerald in your introduction talked about the good wife and mother who would have taken the Alpha politician to bed and expected her husband to forgive her. Would she had fucked that politician in front of her husband? Isn't the one time nature of this act the basis for her husband's forgiveness? Gloria's actions implied not one time act but a realization that she called the shots now and in the future for the marriage. Lyle's feelings were secondary to her. As a beautiful woman she was entitled to the attentions of the elite. Thanks for writing this follow up story.

patilliepatillieabout 8 years ago
Very good

Stunning really, how well you constructed this when compared to you other writings. The historical narrative you are penning, well I get that it is a bio but you ramble about in that serial and get bogged ins some details that are not of interest to the reader.

The other serial you have going is a bit better, but again you sometimes get bogged down discussing business administrative structures, operations, etc that dont really further the drama and tension along.

In this you hit a home run, followed up on a "5" story, and did a very credible job. Congratulations. 4 stars.

EddboyEddboyabout 8 years ago
@ Mordant

This site is a public forum where people can post stories and receive feedback. There are no qualifications needed to critique a story and even the best work will always have critics. With that being said it was a fine read and since in the original we never read from Gloria's pov, we dont know what her frame of of mind was. I have read all Geralds stories as i consider him one of the better cheating wives authors on this site and while i hate to bash this story, it was definitly not up to his standard.

RedPillRedPillabout 8 years ago
Gloria as a nuanced, sympathetic figure...

was not going to work in this sequel. I thought justbobkc's take on her was interesting. At least it went past just "she's a bitch and deserved to be burned".

In any case, RG's original story had her humiliating Lyle publicly in a sadistic manner. Reconciliation and redemption of her character wasn't in the cards. For what it's worth it wasn't only females who were horrible people. Gabe and his "alpha" pals were portrayed as pretty sociopathic also. Sure it would be nice to have a sympathetic female in this story, but that wouldn't be Gloria. Perhaps a new love interest for Lyle, with positive characteristics in contrast to Gloria. But that would require more length, or maybe better another chapter. Probably belong in romance and not LW.

jasonnhjasonnhabout 8 years ago
Sorry, doesn't do it for me

I really didn't see this Gloria as the same as the other Gloria. They were two different characters. This one seems FAR more crass and scheming and from the inception of their relationship. She is a player, and supremely arrogant, yet stupid. This Gloria, confronted with the takedown of herself ad all her friends engineered by Lyle. He sliced and diced them all. Yet, here Gloria sits, a year later, and she thinks she is going to manipulate Lyle? She thinks Lyle is going to be bamboozled by her BS? She thinks Lyle is a fool?

This Gloria has to be a moron.

The other Gloria was incredibly arrogant and foolish but not a moron. The description of Gloria from the first story "She did not look all that well. She was even thinner than the last time I saw her and her eyes looked hollow and vacant. She had clearly been crying at some point in the recent past." shows that Gloria KNOWS she screwed up hugely. She resists accepting blame, blaming Lyle like a criminal blames their jailer for their crime. Her plea is YES, I am a horrible person but for the sake of the kids, forgive me. Lyle, fortunately is not that stupid.

Back to this story, Gloria acts like none of that "education" never happened. Dumb old gullible Lyle is still dumb old gullible Lyle. right?

I cannot reconcile the two personalities.

MattblackUKMattblackUKabout 8 years ago
This is an interesting story and a good continuation.

This actually fits in with a female psychologist that I know.

She even pulled a similar stunt on her husband, so what happened in this story is very plausible.

LordSlamdawggLordSlamdawggabout 8 years ago
potential fresh insight cc the total lack of legal ramifications for bridge burning and clandestine cyber transfer/ sabotage of all company monies offered by this sequel

Any prosecution for Lyle's crimes would be greatly hindered without cooperation from Gabe. He , however, has strong motivation to reluctantly play this down because his serial record of misconduct with employees' wives could very well be outed. Gabe is financially ruined, but his family still has resources.

The stigma for bankruptcy would sting, but pales next to what would happen if he besmirches them by proxy if all the malfeasances , possibly even secretly recorded extramarital trysts , are outed. Lyle didn't know at the time, but a wronged ex-employee, disaffected lover or turncoat friend might spill the beans.

Full disclosure could very potentially mean being cut out of will/ out of trust fund risk. Gabe is a calculating sociopath, not an idiot. He has to hold the L that Lyle has handed him or hazard everything.

I want to effusively thank/ curse BOTH absorbing stories by Richard Gerald and justbobkc for the whirligigs of 'what if ' raised by their five star stories.

sbrooks103sbrooks103about 8 years ago
Liked It!

“The issue with Gloria is that I saw her as a minor character.” The cheating wife a MINOR character?! That makes no sense, Richard.

Wow, she is really showing herself to be a shallow, selfish, disrespecting bitch!

“He just remained too - nice. Too weak. Too unassuming and even humble.” – Guess she was wrong there!

“OK - maybe I was the one who really failed...but I am a trained psychologist!” – And THAT makes your failure worse!

“I had a few basic tactics laid out how to try and persuade Lyle to at least have sex with me one more time.” – What’s the point? Does she think that if he has sex with her again he will want her back?

“Lyle was still just wimpy old boring Lyle.” – Other than her own insecurities, why does she want a man she thinks so little of, back anyway?

And whatever small chance there might be to reconcile, how she thinks that can happen when she continues to lie about everything else with Gabe, not just the weekend.

chytownchytownabout 8 years ago
Good Read***

Thanks for sharing,

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Just don't know......

Well written, and thought out. I gave it a high score. However, 16 years is a long time for him to not recognize things about her that were so graphically described in this story. In this, she's been an evil bitch the whole time, but never strayed before the Christmas party with Gabe. From the first story, her character seems far more complex than what's revealed here. Good story, well told though.

sdc97230sdc97230about 8 years ago
Mixed reaction

My biggest issue with this is that it makes Lyle seem like either a complete fool or a closet masochist who secretly got off on being abused by Glora. So for that reason alone, Gloria's behavior throughout their marriage is too over the top, although her attitudes could have worked if she had just kept them buried better.

The original story seemed to leave a lot of readers with the impression that Lyle had no chance of getting away with burning the bridge or sinking Gabe's company. Lyle would certainly have been suspected, but suspecting and proving are two different things.

C_frommnC_frommnabout 8 years ago
O.K.

I personally think it would have worked Better if he brought a Date along. or Met someone from the Restaurant that knew he was available. So she could see that her Benefits were un-necessary esp. if it was a Younger Woman.

shaman43shaman43about 8 years ago
A common story now.

We went from a story that had some weight to it to a story that is a cliche for this category. Went from characters that had some good and bad to them to an ex wife who really is an evil bitch with no redeeming traits. THere is no story here. Hubby all good and smart. Ex wife twisted, immoral, unethical and undeserving. No dilemma no pain of choice. So obvious so bad. Wish the author would have refused permission.

keystone00000keystone00000about 8 years ago
not bad, but.......

I've never written a story, so I don't really like to be too much of a critic, but to me, this story was a little off the mark. In the original story there was a line from Gloria that said "I was caught between hoping that something would happen on that weekend and fearing that it would". That tells me that she wasn't carrying on an affair or having sex with Gabe before that fateful weekend as this version of the story suggests, even if she may have wanted to. I think the idea that she was, at least partially, trying to help her husbands career by whoring her self out to Gabe for the weekend would be a far more interesting track to explore in a follow up to the original story than the one taken in this version. The idea that she trashed her life, her marriage, and her family for nothing, (since her husband quit her job), would be far more tragic, and far more interesting, to explore in a chapter 2 to the original story. She is still a clueless, self serving whore who needs to brought low, but the pain and anguish from her stupid actions would make for a more powerful story in a sequel.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Tired cliche

Sorry, you missed the mark. Your Gloria is nothing but a tired literotica cliché. This is rubber stamp storytelling at its worst.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Wicked Witch of the Bridge

I felt this story's Gloria was a bit too over the top. I mean, in the original, Gloria was definitely a selfish person who always believed she deserved better. Probably one of those women that ABSOLUTLEY HAS to have that designer dress, a nice car, and be seen with "proper" people. However, I find it hard to believe she did anything before the events in The Bridge. She probably fantasized about it, but she believed she had too good of a thing with Lyle.

Remember, in college she was, as Lyle says, "plump". Lyle was probably out of her league which would of course, in her mind, make him just right. She also probably didn't love him, but still really liked him. As time went on, he got work in a successful company and rose to one of the top men in that company. However, the problem starts when the company is bought by Gabe and when Gloria starts working out. Lyle can go no further in the company. His status has reached its apex. Gloria's, however, is steadily increasing as her body gets more toned. Pretty soon, in Gloria's mind, her status and potential has overcome that of her husband's. She deserves better. What's better? Gabe of course! Combine this with perhaps an early mid-life crisis and you are set for disaster.

I think you simplified her character too much. A bit too evil and manipulative just for the sake of being evil and manipulative. There are people like that, especially in LW, but...Gloria doesn't seem to be THAT bad. Terribly selfish, but not evil.

Still a good story. Just don't agree on character portrayal.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
As other commenters have said...

...this Gloria has become the archetypal Literotica diabolically evil, scheming, ball-crushing, emasculating, cardboard cutout bitch-woman that all the BTB crowd can imagine deliciously tied to a stake and burned in front of her children. Lyle has lost any subtlety or nuance. He's just a macho, passionless asshole.

You really missed the point of the earlier story, in my opinion, and clarified nothing. You added new layers of confusion and completely altered the original characters to fit your own twisted narrative.

I think you write dialog in a natural way, and could be a good writer, except you haven't written real people. Your characters are props to facilitate your agenda of showing that women are either Madonnas or monsters. That is what makes this kind of stuff so tedious.

The BTB trolls that viciously attack anyone that tries to write life-like people in realistic situations are attempting to modify this particular genre into becoming a literary no-man's land, A Syria in-the-making, where only one hateful viewpoint is allowed. Sad, really.

dyonysosdyonysosabout 8 years ago
Gloria

The problem with LW stories is that the majority of these stories are written by men,they describe woman that doesn't exist and from a male pov,most of the authors give woman a sexuality that in fact only men "enjoy","honey it was only sex" is such an example,"i love only you" is another,these are words a man would say,never a woman,i met female cheaters but none are so utterly stupid as are depicted here on LW

LordSlamdawggLordSlamdawggabout 8 years ago
The people who say Gloria isn't grounded in reality , have NOT been on surreal party scene

Gloria was never meant to portrayed as average divorcee. Yes, she is grasping and predatory. Frankly I see her winding up fairly happy ( for a finite time ) with a more compliant, if less well heeled and discerning version of Lyle. Will she learn from her mistakes ? Possibly, but she better give up the recreational drugs.

I has a very good friend who dealt gear high end stuff at Techno clubs. The dealers might be handsome, might be ugly, will definitely tend to be shallow as Gabe . As long as they have ' candy ' , they can pick and choose their girlfriend's from all walks of life

The continual use of Ectasy kills the brain's ability to make its own endorphins. To match early initial highs , it's necessary to go to more and more extremes. Reread the part about Gloria in despair about trying to match ' the penultimate high ' she achieved between the drugs copiously used that day and illicit sex at night.

Go to any NA meeting and you will hear that refrain. Gabe cemented their bond as her. supplier. That's the key to Gloria's character. She's flatlining without the magic dust. She thinks getting Lyle back is the answer. It's not. Even scoring a real ' Prince ' is not the answer. Unless that individual owns a pharmacy company. Watch out Martin Shkeli. Gloria is on the market.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Not good. You turned..

.. a very nuanced and balanced situation into a standard ho-hum BTB scenario.

The original story moved in a grey zone where both parties had viable arguments, despite the fact the the scorned husband is the main character. He was right to be mad, but by "burning all bridges" he took out his anger in a way that probably hurt a lot of people besides his boss. Ultimately his over-reaction ended up making him miserable and lonely. He got his revenge, but ended up hurting himself badly in the process. There was a duality to the story that made you think... made it feel more "real", since things are rarely black and white in real life. The wife made a strong case for herself that - as the original author states - could have been the foundation for a mutual beneficial reconciliation. It was an interesting dynamic where you couldn't be sure which way the train was rolling once hubbys anger had subsided.

Somehow you are missing all that in your continuation.

Instead you villainify the boss even more by making him into a serial cuckolder who send tapes to the husbands or whatever (I am surprised that you didn't make him into a 6 foot black ex-gangster, while you were at it), and the wife becomes a two-dimensional slut, whose only function is to be a target for the husband to vent his righteous anger in a long-winded standard BTB speech.

Sorry, but you are not getting many brownie points for this one.

justbobkcjustbobkcabout 8 years agoAuthor
Me again.

I'm trying to read all the comments here - and several have made some very good points and criticisms.

The strangest criticism is the one seemingly defending Gabe (of all people!) and that I villainfied him as a serial cuckolder. My interpretation from Richard's original story is that he could have been nothing BUT that. He had his own little "posse" already established to enable exactly that - with Paula as his ultimate "fixer" if problems arose. Kind of like Hillary to Bill Clinton handling any "Babe eruptions". So - Duh! ;-)

And the inexplicable elephant in the room is why any kind of "less evil" seducer of other men's wives would laugh at a husband and give him a "thumb's up" while taking her basically sexually right in front of the husband? Sorry, I can not think of ANY kind of rational explanation. Unless possibly Gloria lied to Gabe all along and told him Lyle was all on board with the whole thing and would love it himself? And Gabe wasn't experienced and smart enough to really clear that directly with Lyle personally? Probably his most key and productive employee? Not smart. That just makes Gabe dumb and dumber. The viewpoint might depend on those follow-up phone calls when Lyle left. Were they MERELY manipulation attempts - or was Gabe actually really confused and believing Gloria's lies about Lyle?

Secondly, and more valid as merely a defect in me as a story-teller:

I don't actually view Gloria as a bad or evil woman. Merely a flawed and failed woman, who ALMOST succeeded. She couldn't help it she was psychopathic and depended on "guesswork" manipulation of other people in interacting with them, her whole life - instead of honest empathy and intuition. Psychopaths in a sense are merely never matured (emotionally) 2 year olds - stuck in those terrible 2's where just saying "No" to everyone brings that first sense of "control" of other people and also sometimes unexpected rewards. Like screaming "No!" at bedtime - and then being handed a treat as a "bribe" to quietly go to bed. Wow - I'll keep doing THIS! Is a natural logic reaction by even 2 year olds. Psychopaths keep manipulating other people thru trial-and-error all their lives. Normal people develop other and broader strategies as well as a certain level of only careful "manipulation" (deceit, misdirection, smart lies, small "white" lies) techniques, judiciously and riskily utilized - in dealing with other people. ALL psychopaths have is basically risky manipulation. The Golden Rule just can't work for them. At least not by itself. And eventually most get ever better and more subtle at their own just manipulation strategies.

Gloria had reached that stage of pretty well adjusted, actually - and maintained it for 16 years in her marriage with Lyle. This didn't cure her of her major defect - but it made her quite "livable" with and even made Lyle a satisfied husband with his own fantasies about his wife. Lyle was in the position of many men and women - "don't look a gift horse in the mouth" too closely. And as the years passed comfortably why SHOULD Lyle have looked at his own wife "too closely"?

But then her intellect alone (her smart and learned manipulation techniques) finally failed her tragically with a confluence of events - especially meeting another manipulator and exactly the right (wrong) kind for her. A Gabe who finally matched her previous and maybe continuous fantasy of a "perfect" man for her and she wanted to test those waters and find out by her trial-and-error technique. And she HAD no common sense basic empathy/intuition to warn her of a common real world fact. Lyle would most probably NOT be happy at her casual "I earned this" indiscretion and flaunting it in front of him weekend. It was just an experiment for her, in her mind - whether she had been already testing the waters with Gabe secretly before - or not. Like a "final exam".

And so the tragedy - for all - unfolded. I am sorry I could not make this idea clearer in my own tale. This is the basis for my own completely fictional take on all this. And why Gloria remains so confused but also why Lyle can't take her back - but still isn't just "punishing" her or seeking revenge in the BTB tradition. He wants his fantasy wife back and the truth is he never had her. She never really existed. Gloria was never "evil" nor did she turn "evil". She just never was a normal person with what we would consider a normal loving/bonding relationship with another "equal" normal human being like Lyle. She merely faked it as best she could and NOT with evil ("ha, ha - I'm fooling him just until...") intent. It's all just another Catch-22 kind of human condition conundrum. Though thankfully a kind of rare one.

In a sense I certainly agree with Richard that Gloria isn't "evil". But I disagree that Lyle is just acting too prideful and unforgiving. There really is no Gloria in reality to forgive and take back as a wife. That Gloria only existed in Lyle's imagination. But the Gloria that is the mother of their children still exists and Lyle needs to learn about her and treat her as respectfully as he can as their mother. And yes, I see him struggling with all this quite a bit, himself. It's even possible Lyle might learn to love this new, real Gloria with all her now known and accepted limitations and faults. She's still smart (just not emotionally) and beautiful and with that great body and probably very uninhibited in bed. And I did have Lyle say some ugly things to her - but that was Lyle's character talking and not necessarily as I God-author ever saw her. And that was MY major failing in telling the tale. But anything further is maybe a book length continuation. And I'm not doing it. :-)

LordSlamdawggLordSlamdawggabout 8 years ago
Sobriety versus Loaded versus Jonseing/ Dry Drunk

To me , the flagrant and unapologetic actions of Gabe and Gloria are symptomatic of the entitlement and omnipotent attitude that hard core party drug users aquire with long term use. Other people who don't partake are square , can't handle their high and are often seen as means to an end , as human pawns. Make no mistake , that was the status to what Lyle was consigned to that Memorial weekend.

The critics can mourn the lost shades of grey that was in the original . That, however, is part and parcel though of most habitual drug users in terms of lost nuance. Maybe David Bowie and Madonna could handle the highs, while enriching their art in their glory years but precious few others can keep their act together.

As justbobkc said , Gloria before meeting Gabe was able to veil her heart . She took a lot of care to don the velvet glove to hide iron fist. But after six months under G.'s influence and thrall plus the a full day's partaking of recreational drugs, necking with Gabe sans reaction from husband , that's how Gloria felt she could make announcement about revised sleeping arrangements and vocalize her extramarital activities for all to hear.

Too incredible, too extreme ? Trust me. All this happens under the influence. And more.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
RichadGerald Intro

Have to completely disagree with RichardGerald premise. He used a small sample size (one woman) to label a large group of people. Most women in their late twenties and with a child or children ( like the gloria character) will not jump into the bed of a man, not their own.

That he can so denigrate and demean women in general is revelatory. It explains alot about the women he writes and their behavior in his stories. Sad really.

Makes for interesting reading material, lol.

AMerryman

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
3*s

Very funny, well done justbobkc! Gave you 3*s. This dialogue was smooth. Really reflected the character's thinking. Not really a continuation as much as a bizarro world continuation. It was very entertaining.

Keep writing and keep improving.

Thanks for the effort.

AMerryman

lance_spearmanlance_spearmanabout 8 years ago
You seem to have changed the Gloria character into some kind of Stangstar bimbo.

And therefore the sequel didn't flow from the original story. I would still like to read a sequel to the original, I just don't think this is it. Too boiler plate, too stereotyped.

Sorry.

Peter_Peter_about 8 years ago
Just didn't work for me

I didn't feel like you were writing about the same characters.

Well written, just didn't work for me.

4* for effort.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
What??

Dick finds one woman that can't keep her pants on for her dream man or what ever the hell she thinks he is and all woman are like that. I'm calling bullshit on that and this conclusion!!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
a solid 2*

Would've been 3* as a standalone story, but as a followup, this fails hard.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Why did you bother?

The original story was good, if not great.

This added nothing.

textosteronetextosteroneabout 8 years ago
Unnecessary addition to the story

Although this was well written, so I gave it a 4*, this was more of an Epilogue then an additional chapter to the story. It simply gives insight into the couples thoughts after the event. It added nothing to the original story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
From Duna!

First it all 5*****.The story is an excellent and a little rectangular in the same time. The author's idea is excellent. The brain section of the 2 ex spouses were excellent, but a little rectangular was the style a little. It may be Richard Gerald the original author could write this story part in more round style. I think one of the best things in the life when a cheating girlfriend or ex wife want to reboild the old "soup" and the innocent ex boyfriend or ex husband can refuse the reboilded soup (politely)..........If Somebody experienced this that man knows HE HAS SPINE AND THE FEELING IS FANTASTIC EMOTIONAL POSITIVE INICIATIVE FOR HIS NEXT LIFE!

The majority of the men are not 100% beta or 100% alpha. The 100% alpha men (Gengis Khan, Napoleon, Julius Ceasar,) will never be faithful. The fairer one of them as Napoleon lived in an open marriage only. The mixed alpha-beta men are who can live in faithful marriage and they are who leave their cheater wives after immediately or after 1 reconciliation................and the cheater ex wife learns her ex was not 100% beta men.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
From Duna second!

This type feeling (what I mentioned in my first comment) was portrayed on excellent style at Azpiri's story "Shattered".........I recommend that story for readers who do not enjoy cuck stories.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
SLAVERY FOR HUSBANDS?

In the original Richard Gerald story Glory was a heartless sheamless cheater wife who cheated with his lover boy (her husband's boss) in the PRESENT of HER HUSBAND. A lot of BTB story hater who THINK and WRITE in their comment a man character to have SPINE in a marriage to be misgynist thing and TO ACCEPT EVERY TYPE HUMULIATION from a cheating wife is the future life style for the men in a marriage THIS TYPE CHEATER LIFE APOLOGYST ARE A NEW GOEBELS TYPE PROPRAGANDISTS of a new GENDER INEQUALITY.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
New gender inequality apologists

@SleeplessinMD4 You are right, the husband slavery apologists who tries to explain a husband who is angry for his wife cheats on him in the present of him (to humuliate him) or an author who portrays the EFFECT OF THIS TYPE OF cheater wife behavioral in a BTB story the husband character or the AUTHOR are misogynist THEY ARE NEW GENDER INEQUALITY PROPAGANISTS!

So such BTB story authors who writes such stories where the main part of the BTB story that scenario the innocent faithful ex husband finds a better newer woman than the cheater ex wife was those the authors a freedom fighters of the new type GENDER INEQUALITY!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
More exactly

So such BTB story authors who writes such stories where the main part of the BTB story such scenario that the innocent faithful ex husbands find a better newer women than the cheater ex wives was those those authors are a freedom fighters AGAINST a new type GENDER INEQUALITY!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
I hope this is more exactly

So such BTB story authors who writes such stories where the main part of the BTB story such scenario that the innocent faithful ex husbands find a better newer women than the cheater ex wives were those authors are a freedom fighters AGAINST a new type GENDER INEQUALITY!

The gender inequality apologysts try to decrease the effect of this freedom struggle with the misogynist accusation. According to this misogynist accusation comment writers the main duty of the new (slavery type) husbands to tolerate every type HUMULIATION from a cheating (extramarital affair practiced) wives without any EQUALITY in the marriage!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Similar

BTW FrancisMacomber has a similar story.........as the common stories of Richard Gerald +Justbobkc .

bigtexas1976bigtexas1976about 8 years ago
wow

The first part did feel a little incomplete. I liked it more before, but more so now

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Dumb

He let her do it than get mad that's stupid

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Maybe it's the different writing styles, maybe something else, but for me....

.....this was a bit of a letdown.

The characters' natures changed dramatically from that story to this one.....they simply weren't the same people.

She comes off as a cold, calculating, derisive, egomaniacal bitch, he more a jaded, growling narcissist.

I think I agree with your intent, but the delivery was so....I don't know, it almost felt sneering.

Sorry, it is a contrast to its parent, rather than a continuation or compliment.

You write pretty well, but I think this is a disservice to what I think of as the first chapter in a real decent three part story. Had you made the effort to be more faithful to the original characters and the original style, I'm sure I for one, would have been delighted.

As it is....not so much.

I'll hope for something else from you that I can better engage with. As I said, I generally enjoy your writing....you write pretty well.

Maybe a little more effort n the editing to clean up some of the stray skies with spelling, punctuation and grammar, but that's all in the final 10%, not the bulk.

Thank you in any event. It's always risky, is it not?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Ewwww..

That was shite. Sounded like it came from someone who hates women?

tazz317tazz317about 8 years ago
SAME CAST OF CHARACTERS

nothing new on her schemes or dreams. TK U MLJ LV NV

sugnasugnaabout 8 years ago
One of the Best

For pure truth and logic this is one of the best stories about cheaters and their warped mindset. I have seen this same attitude in many women both ones that cheat and ones that demean and bash their husbands constantly.

sbrooks103sbrooks103about 8 years ago
Re-Reading

Sorry if I have any dupes!

From Richard's Intro: “This is a woman that, as far as I am aware, has never been unfaithful to her husband. But, under those circumstances, she would have been. I also know that she would have expected her husband to forgive her, and I believe he would have.” – Horse shit! Yes, we all have those people that we fantasize about, and SAY that if we had the chance we would have sex with them. But we also understand that we really wouldn’t/couldn’t do that to our spouse, would certainly not really expect them to forgive us if they did, and the DEFINITELY wouldn’t forgive us! We may kid around, and say things like, “If you can get him/her, go for it!” But neither of us believes that or takes it seriously.

From the story:

“Quite possibly his "Beta male" subconscious noticed and reacted to another man's semen/smell in his woman..” – No, he naively believed that his “faithful” wife was excited and extra wet for him!

“So, how the hell did he walk out on me - and especially after I DID get fantastically beautiful and more sexy than ever??? It just does not make any sense.” – Maybe because he wasn’t the “wimp” you thought he was?

“even when Gabe fucked me in the ass hard and made me scream loudly publicly in orgasmic bliss” – So much for her screaming being an act!

foolscapfoolscapabout 8 years ago
It is sad to see the Alpha and Beta male bullshit used in an attempt to normalize psychological disorders.

Interesting read that most who embrace this fetish will totally ignore in favor of urban myth. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/head-games/201412/are-alpha-males-myth-or-reality

There are poseurs in this venue who desperately need to think of themselves as alpha males (bulls?) or who get off on sexual masochism.

sad.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
stories of the mentally ill arent erotic

and she is definitely mentally ill

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
fucking garbage

I read 3 paragraphs and realized you depart so far from the original that I refused to finish. Stop writing. You can't do it. Cut your hands off and never reproduce. If you have kill your offspring now before they spawn.

Benedict12Benedict12almost 8 years ago
Continuation or Contamination?

RichardGerald's original version of The Bridge was a marvelous character study of adultery wrapped in a blanket of ambiguity. Justbobkc's purported continuation of the story is a total distortion of everything RichardGerald wrote. Neither the characters nor the outcome are in any consistent with the themes developed in the original work. I hope that RichardGerald does someday write a sequel that will help erase this misbegotten creation from my mind.

IronDragonIronDragonalmost 8 years ago
In the intro from RG...

Man, that is a copout! Ok, so the woman that RG knows SAID she would cheat on her husband with the politician. That doesn't mean she would actually DO it. That's a very naïve perspective on life. People don't usually mean what they say during bullshit sessions. Or as my wife calls hers, "girl talk". Would I really cheat on my wife with Meagan Tandy and/or Aja Naomi King? As tempting as that might be, No. Would she really cheat on me with Ian Somerhalder? No. Most people know where to draw the line between fantasy and reality. Our "Celebrity Hall Pass" lists are just fantasy. lol

As for the tale itself, it's a really good continuation on RG's tale. Honestly, I wasn't quite sure where this one was going at first, but I'm glad you didn't RAAC out, Bob. Wifey, whom I thought was maybe a bit naïve in the first one, turned out to be a raging manipulative sociopath in this sequel. Good for Hubby, sticking to his guns again.

5 Stars

justbobkcjustbobkcalmost 8 years agoAuthor
@foolscap.

Darn it. Sorry for the delay in posting this but I got distracted by life and then distracted myself writing some other stories.

Anyway - thanks for that link and here is a quote from that article:

"When we speak of human alpha males today, it may be that we refer to the trait of social dominance: Studies have demonstrated that socially dominant men hold sway with many women, and can invoke feelings of inferiority among men. Thanks to current research, these men may also be more readily identifiable."

Well, yes. That is EXACTLY what we all refer too instead of just one (huge, gigantic!) Alpha Human Male on the whole planet. Hey, let's just redefine something or use another description and THEN say "it doesn't exist." LOL

I would also suggest YOU read "The Lucifer Principle" by Howard Bloom which dissects and analyzes "pecking order" social status issues in a bunch of different social species, including humans. It really is fascinating and the common sense, shared experience traits of most humans in this regards show up in all kinds of fiction and real history and biographies. But especially "Loving Wives" stories. <G>

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
A whore is a whore

If the original author knew a woman like this in real life who would have left her husband's side at a Gala to be a slut for a politician, then she is simply a whore.

Being a good wife and mother are only her fallback because, given the opportunity, she would much rather be a whore.

If her husband would have just taken her back as another man's sloppy seconds, well that makes him a cuckold.

The people the original author based this story on are pathetic. Whore and cuckold.

I hope there aren't that many people that pathetic but there probably are.

I'm far too possessive of my woman to come close. If another man even kissed my wife on the mouth, he would be eating through a straw for a while and be charged with sexual assault. My wife would press charges or be divorced so fast it would make her head spin.

I don't share.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
I have commented on the original story more than I have any other because....

I really, really liked it. I don't see Gloria as you do, and apparently from The author's letter, neither did he. Gabe was the man like the politician described in the letter that could have her anytime the opportunity presented itself. Probably not the only one, but one of a very few. As the letter states, there are probably a few men, different ones for different women, that that a woman would almost always bed given the right circumstances. For Gloria, Gabe was one of the few guys that could get her. Yes, they'd been together before, as suggested by their immediate familiarity at the cabin, but for her, I don't see it in the spitefull way that you suggest. I sense that the original author saw it as a delusional prelude on the part of the wife seeking acquiescence of the husband to future encounters in the status of an unwilling cuckold. The thrill of the humiliation was Gabe's not Gloria's, although the illicit sex was certainly exciting. Additionally you ignore Lyle's delimna regarding tha children, and we were left in the original story as to whether or not he might eventually take her back. In your sequel, you kill that conundrum, and thus the real question that the original story left us with. Your ending leaves us with really no one being happy, and the children suffering for it.

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xalmost 8 years ago
Re-Reading

"Well, if he WAS that way now, she had made him and he owed her!" - IF she "made" him, it was by tearing him down first, and all he owes her is a kick to the curb!

FD45FD45almost 8 years ago
I saw little value added here

Richard's story was one of humiliation and revenge. But the characters were grounded in reality.

THIS story, not content with realistic characters, upped the ante. With apologies to LSD, he keeps posting remarks about 'well, THIS encounter I had makes this possibly credible' and 'this makes this story possibly true'.

Sir, if you like the story, like the story. But when we the reader have to add to the story to make it credible from our own brains, intellectual apologia if you will, that is not the job of the reader, but of the writer. The reader either accepts or rejects the characters and premise.

For me, it is just taking the selfish woman of Gloria and dialing her character to 11.

The original Gloria worked HARD! In her mind, she 'added value' to herself for DECADES and her husband got the benefit of that 'added value' ("I am gifting this hot body to you and you should be grateful. I am making a very good income and I am gifting it to you.") So Gloria fucking Gabe, after decades of self discipline, fidelity, and a life less glorious, was her 'having a cookie'. She wanted a break. She thought her marriage was strong enough, that her value was large enough, that her husband would be far more thoughtful towards forgiveness over a touch of meaningless sex.

She was wrong, but people are wrong all the time. And her choice of paramours totally sucked. But that is understandable too. There are few 'Princes'. GABE was the only one to sniff at her, to want her, to hit her little 'validation button'. A once in a lifetime event.

This woman...it is not enough for the BTB mob for a woman to be 80% wrong. She has to be 110% wrong! Nothing less will do.

Hence this story.

Nor is it a story per se. A story would be the resolution to a problem. That problem of their marriage and selfishness was already solved. For this to be a story, you need to have a NEW problem, or at least a new wrinkle on the old problem which makes it suddenly germane again.

For example, what if his old business partner made his ownership of the company conditional on Lyle being married? Or there was a codicil that upon death of Lyle, a divorced man, the company goes reverts back to married Bernie's heirs.

Suddenly, there is a new problem. There is no new problem here. She wants to be married. He does not. We already saw that scene. Seeing it again had everything to do with making Lyle suddenly an alpha dog and making Gloria an irredeemable skank.

That was not necessary. The last story made them alpha and skanky enough.

QuietlyLurkingQuietlyLurkingalmost 8 years ago
This felt more like...

amateur analysis of cuckoldry than a story.

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xover 7 years ago
Further Thoughts

From RichardGerald: "The thing is I believe Gloria has a way back. We will accept her behavior. We may admire Lyle but we condemn his actions." - Are you for real? There is NO WAY we will accept her behavior! From that first kiss under the mistletoe, a DECENT woman hauls off and slaps Gabe into the New Year! Bosses do NOT give employees' wives passionate kisses ANYWHERE, let alone at a party in front of everyone. And the only actions of Lyle's that I condemn are his INACTIONS! At the party, I would have gone up to Gloria and Gabe, told Gabe I quit, and taken Gloria home (punch in the face to Gabe optional!). IF we still went to the retreat, as soon as Gabe and Gloria's intentions became clear we would have been leaving, and if Gloria wouldn't come, she would know there wold be no marriage to come home to.

"I think my husband saw the kiss - but as expected from the wimp he never said a word about that." - Other than the security and "maintenance orgasms" why does she want to stay with a man she has so little, k.e. no, respect for?

"Well, if he WAS that way now, she had made him and he owed her!" - IF she "made him", it was by destroying him first, and as much as he might be enjoying his new status, I'd bet that given the choice he would have his old pre-Gabe life back!

dyonysosdyonysosover 7 years ago
@RichardGerald @justbobkc

" The women, you normally see in these stories approach sex physically the way men do. But I have never known a woman like that "

I keep saying the exact same thing over and over again a woman has an entirely different vision of sex alltogether,a woman never cheats without a reason ,ok maybe the wrong reason but it will be a good reason to her,ambition,love greed are the main reasons,a man cheats and thinks mostly with his dick and because he can

GoodhueGoodhueover 7 years ago
Should Have Let Sleeping Dogs Lie!

Sometimes,and in this case especially,more is NOT better!

You should have let the original speak for itself and let the reader's imagination try to hash it out,based on his/her own experiences. That psychological mumbo jumbo is just one big pile of steaming horse shit!

LordSlamdawggLordSlamdawggover 7 years ago
@ Goodhue

Whatever. I liked the story and so far in the abstract ,which is all the consideration a non-entity such as yourself deserves consider you to be a bit of a pompous, overweening twat. But carry on - I have no more monopoly then you on defining what is good literature . This, however, is a fact that seems to have eluded you. Good luck with that.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Added nothing

Added nothing to the original story but your lack of talent spoilt the better story and the better writer

Such arrogance,so little ability.

Anonymous
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