All Comments on 'Falling Snow'

A different spin on a Succumbs, Liked it

If you don't find an Editor I can look over a story for you. I have not joined the volunteer Editors as I don't feel I am good enough, but if you are stuck I can at least read the story over for you.

I really enjoyed it! Hoping to see more of your work!

This was a very good story, with very few errors. It left me hanging a bit, wanting to know more about Tom's fate.

Your work looks like quick editing, with such a good start. I'd be glad to help.

Wonderful first story. Very little editing needed. Hope you continue this so we can find out how Shy helps a baby warlock grow up.

This was really good. It could be a little longer, but this was a great read. You wished for an editor but I hardly see anything in here to fix. Looking forward to more. If you want a proofreader, I'll help, but again honestly this was fine in that area.

On par with manyeyedhydra and his succubus works! Keep it up :)

That story was very hot. I can't wait for further chapters.

Especially for a short story. 5 stars!

Minor grammatical errors and stuff but they weren't enough to distract from the story. If you stop with just this one, I'll hate you.

Was really loving the story. I like how she seduced him, and then struggle as she drained him. Awesome. Then it just went twilight with a good succubus. Why the trend with good vampires, and demons? They are evil for a reason. This would have been a five stars if you would have finished him off. Though worth the read.

Very good story, although with some grammatical errors, but without a good independent editor, quite understandable.

Agree with another commenter that its quite similar to manyeyedhydra or mjm202036's Lustful Summoning series.

However, both of those series have a dark turn to them. It will be interesting to see if you can balance the dark and light aspects of a succubus story. No is ever free (totally good) in a deal with a succubus, but since a succubus is is eternal, the inevitable darkness can be delayed. Think of it as the ultimate "tease and denial".

Please keep writing. This has great potential.

Thank you all for taking the time to read my story. I've been blown away by the responses I've been receiving. I have decided to write a sequel to this story. No promises on exactly when it will be out but I can tell you I just passed the 5000 word mark, so it should hopefully be out sometime next month.

Loved your story and looking forward to see where you go with it , loved the little surprise at the end !

I hope you plan on a sequel. You left too much open like her refer to him as a warlock and her calling him "master". Agood story that needs to be finished!!

I liked how it didn't end badly for Tom. Leaves us wanting more, and hopefully you won't make us wait long!

It wasn't actually perfect. There were a few errors in grammar and spelling, but who doesn't have those errors? This idea was unique, and more importantly, surprising. The surprise was even in the conflict itself, and it was positive. In something erotic, what more can you ask for? My opinion, but I stick by it. Yes, please write again. .

Good ending to, I felt tense while reading, the forest always freaks me out especially at night. If I could add a line to define her dominance over a scared Tom when he is by the fire asking for a blankie, he is scared. "Oh baby, you won't be needing one." Now drop your shorts. A bit of cfnm, since its not me.

Glad you are contributing to the good story section, I hope you don't get lost here, there is just to much and so many good writers and story's. I think a good cheat is to release 2 or 3 story's close together helps me remember the writer.

I just saw the second chapter gotta go, I'm getting to chatty anyhow. tgif.

Enjoyed it greatly and was impressed by your first effort. Keep up the great work.

This story could have fit in Nonconsent/Reluctance, too, no? And now that they're both non-human, if I understand Shyira's comment, then this also has elements (no pun intended) that could qualify it for the Non-human category. I guess it depends on where you take it, in subsequent installments, and makes me even more curious about future twists and turns you might feel like taking.

I'd love to see more of this story. Great work!

Well written, creative and interesting plot twist

A good fun story. Thank you.

Oww please more