All Comments on 'Jennifer Submits'

by electralightening

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  • 10 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Wham,

bang, thank you Ma'am!!

That is not a story, just a childish recital!!

TheIrishTuxTheIrishTuxabout 8 years ago
Rushed

Take some time to develop your characters, their motivations, or hell, even the environment. Good foundation for a story, but this isn't a 'young girl submitting'. It seems more like an ego piece about how 'manly' the man (again, didn't even bother to name your male character) is, and how huge and impressive his cock is. Keep your outline, but think about fleshing it out a little!

bonnietaylor2bonnietaylor2about 8 years ago
Asshole of lIT has spoken, I think you shoul;dwrite more and drive this old fucker

crazy! make him kill himself. Gave you a 5

PrfsrPrfsrabout 8 years ago
Manly, manly, manly!

Too many manlys!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

We get it, he is manly and she is womanly. Not a bad story but definitely needs some editing.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Everything

Sounds stupid. Like they were 14 year old trying to play adults

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
My thoughts on reading this story; Is this an actual dude, or macho man randy savage?

Most of this story made me cringe. By adding manly onto nearly every sentence, you created the effect of an insecure individual. On top of that, using the word womanize seems out of place. If I had to describe your character, I'd imaging a 50 year old meat head herding some poor young accountant into a closet, pumping into her 3 times, and leaving her in a puddle as you awkwardly stumble to work.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
cocksauce

That's the best word I've ever heard.

Where was the "first time" aspect to this story, though?

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Jesus so hot...

...sorry, the other thing... yeah, "shit"!

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Either a teen virgin wrote this or Donald Trump

"I have a huge manly cock, noone's cock is more manly than mine... Putin says it's manly"

Anonymous
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