Your standard of writing is around that of a 14 year old schoolboy!
For instance, in the fourth paragraph - "When I lost my wife 3+ years ago to a heart attack." This 'sentence' is incomplete and meaningless!
Or, how about the last 'sentence'?
" I'm know I'm looking forward to it."
Pathetic!!!
I thought your characters are nice people. I can easily imagine them in my life. I would love to read more about them. Frankly, I was a little put off by the comment that could only see grammar or spelling issues; I figured out your intent, I'm sure. So find a friendly editor. No big deal. Keep up the good work.
GET AN EDITOR!!!
Your standard of writing is around that of a 14 year old schoolboy!
For instance, in the fourth paragraph - "When I lost my wife 3+ years ago to a heart attack." This 'sentence' is incomplete and meaningless!
Or, how about the last 'sentence'?
" I'm know I'm looking forward to it."
Pathetic!!!
Nice People
I thought your characters are nice people. I can easily imagine them in my life. I would love to read more about them. Frankly, I was a little put off by the comment that could only see grammar or spelling issues; I figured out your intent, I'm sure. So find a friendly editor. No big deal. Keep up the good work.
It read like a first draft
Potentially a good story, but poorly written in this version.
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