All Comments on 'Zero, Fifty, or One Hundred Pt. 02: Alt. Ending'

It's nice to see that the woman is not brainless, and more importantly... she put the "all or nothing" oaf in his place.

but this just proves it

Gotta say, this is one of the rare times when I thought the original story, both parts, and the alternate ending were all great. Well done.

It's great that you felt inspired to complete change the ending of the story but you also chose to totally ignore certain things from the first story....... Like when the husband asks her this question.

"So what bar are you ladies hitting up tomorrow night? Should I stop by after work and make sure you all are good to drive home?" he asked with what he hoped was a light tone.

"OH, umm actually we decided to hit the Red Horse Saloon for some line dancing. But I think we will be done before you get off work." she looked down at her orange chicken as she said this.

In your story you have the wife tell him she never said there was a girls night out well that's completely wrong, she lied.

You also chose to ignore this early passage that described the Luke character....

She continued. "Luke Jonas is the company romeo. He takes a run at every female and any who give him the slightest interest find themselves the recipient of his "charms". He doesn't care if they are married or even if they are particularly good looking. He just likes the chase. Your wife shot him down early on and he never pushed until that night. Now he is chasing your wife and she is running instead standing her ground putting a stop to it. It is an open secret that if Luke gets any more charges of harassment brought against him he is fired. She could end his advances and she isn't. In fact they have been regular seatmates at the cafeteria for the the last couple months whispering and giggling. I have tried talking to her about this but she just gets angry and tells me they are friends and that Luke listens to her and understands her problems. I asked her if she would act like this if you were sitting across the table and she had the decency to blush. Then she got mad and said something to the effect that you wouldn't even notice. After that I backed off and decided to keep an eye on her. They seemed to cool it off at work and I thought that things had run it's course until three weeks ago."

If he was gay then there wouldn't be any threats of termination over harassment suits now would there.

Next......

"I want to see these guys in action together and maybe scare them straight." he said " Sharon says you guys are going to the Red Horse saloon this week. So this Thursday when you guys go I am going to show up and observe from across the room ... " he stopped talking abruptly as he noticed the horrified look on Vicki's face.

"What did I say wrong?" he asked

"Bob, Hannah has a doctor's appointment early in the morning Friday and Gail is going to see her brother in Florida. If Sharon is going out Thursday it isn't with us." She reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "I am so sorry honey." she said sadly " I know better than to ask if you are ok but here is my home phone number. Call anytime to talk to Ron or I." Her husband was a marriage counselor by trade so talking to him could potentially be helpful.

Just more evidence that the writer told us that the WIFE TOLD THE HUSBAND A LIE...... and there is not a single word in the first part that even mentions that the Vickie character has any kind of feelings for the husband. She only comes across as a concerned friend.

So you didn't just write an alternate ending but chose to ignore all of the reasons for the husband being truly upset. Instead you made things up that the author never offered in part one while ignoring others just to turn the tables and make him look like he was in the wrong....pathetic.

If you wanted to write an alternate ending it should at least have been consistent with how the characters were written in part one.

Because actual gay guys are always daring women to make out with them and asking for their panties...and their friends film it and try to blackmail the women.

On top of which, the wife lied about where she was going.

After years of reading Literotica this will be the first and I hope only time I ever comment.

That is about the lamest alt. ending I have ever read...... too bad as I have sincerely enjoyed a number of the authors stories.

Having conned her husband with her two gay friends, she continues her affair with the man who really removed her panties.

Come on Swingerjoe, this one's just too saccharine for someone like you.

L

Choice 4 is he walks "her" (calmly) out the door.

Well that was a good job butchering the story, and you successfully ignored previous character development nicely, nothing in this ending resembles the original story. Sorry but this was a true failure are an alternate ending

I just finished a comment on another add on story (The Bridge) , and after reading this tripe , I take everything I said about authors expounding on other authors stories back !

This was simply a case of a subpar author taking advantage of a new author ! Ahazura, I hope that what this hack did to your initial story doesn't make you gunshy in the future. But I do suggest that if an author approaches you with such a request that you go back and look at their body of work , in this case you would have seen that this charlatan is nothing but a man hating cuck freak ! -14*'s since its not open for voting anyway ! That should tell you something !

Cpprcrk

This was a total change in the plot, not a continuation. It was as predictable a sitcom/vaudeville plot. It seems strange that a person would make such a change and that there might be some bizarre agenda behind it. It was not interesting, or enjoyable to read. It seemed to be more about condemning a husband for his feelings of possessiveness for his wife more than anything. Well, I have some news for you: when you are married, really married, not is some sham marriage by name only, you do in fact "possess" your spouse. The marriage vows are exactly that giving of body, mind and all intimacy to another person. Sharing intimacy with another member of the opposite sex is a violation of those vows. A violation that the offended partner has a logical right to be unhappy about. The only interesting thing about this story was the question of what was going through the authors mind?

WTF....Where the fuck is part -I!?

I think the whore is having an affair and using those gay friends as cover up....

I thought this was supposed to be an alt ending!

NOT A COMPLETE REWRITE.

Did you read the original story?

I noticed you turned the rate the story off. So you knew it would get a 1.

Please next time try to actually write a story. I mean one page. that's not even an attempt. I've seen some of your other stories. I don't care for the plots, but at least you do put in the effort.

I know everyone writes crap every so often, so I'll give you this one. Now please go back to trying to write.

Thanks

But I find myself siding with consensus opinion. The wife in original story was lying both by commission and omission , not to mention handing her panties to men . Misunderstandings are bound to spring like freshly minted gremlins after rainstorm. I wish swingerjoe had executed this premise with his own characters. But it's only literotica.

swingerjoe has contributed to liveliness and creativity of Loving Wives about a 1000 times more then his average critic or me ( I'm a fan ) . Yes , the facts should have been ideally backchecked assiduously in perfect world But this isn't a Supreme Court Brief or Chekov. The idea of having wife turn tables was a VERY creative one. I'm jealous.

Also great to see the BTB's out there blustering and shocked. Sure all was not as it seemed in the previous parts but it never is completely. But what is consistent with most LV Cheating stories is that the husband has anger management issues, goes off the deep end, makes his own assumptions and doesn't listen.

...to hijack someone else's story to advance your personal agenda.

I applaud anyone who takes the time to write but for me this was not an alternate ending, I like the twist that Luke buttoned his coat the opposite way therefore there was possibility of an affair, that does not excuse her behaviour of dares be it in public or in private, this issue was forgotten then her using his meeting with Vicki as attack is the best form of defence. Did not work for me.

Disgrace to the original. And, no voting? Says it all.

This is an ending like any other...It could have happened...But in this ending the story can't end here...at least for them...They both need counseling, as they both think it fit to lie to each other and both think that they can be free to live their lives without talking...This is the main issue in both stories: They didn't talk with each other!!! They should solve their issues between themselves...Not involving a third party...3*

WHERE THE FUCK IS PART I..

THE WHORE OBVIOUSLY LIED...CHEATED ON HER HUSBAND ...

Divorce the WHORE ..Ron

You know this alternative ending actually works for me. If you don't nit-pick over details (remember it's fiction anyway) then this fits right in. Great job.

I think this is pretty well done. Having re-read the original, I had to ignore only the statement about Luke being a skirt-chaser to come up with this version. The skirt-chaser thing could have been a misunderstanding on Vicki's part about a gay man flirting with women as some do.

First off its not healthy for a marriage to have spouse out drinking late on a regular basis. There were times it was very late and she was intoxicated when she got home. Sharon put herself in a bad situation with this. Bob may have been jealous but he confronted her about it and is ready to make changes. Secondly he was probably feeling very low self-esteem after thinking his wife was about to leave. He was wrong to flirt but hadn't cheated. If you are going to offer alternate ending then why not give us the ending? I would have liked to see him call and realize he was setup by Vicki. Also Sharon appears to have alcohol issues that need dealing with.

I'd post more, but your story didn't inspire more then a....meh.

I don't usually read anothers interpretation of an authors writing but this was a good effort, although I am afraid the 2 endings do not equate to the first chapter of the original. I think FTDS would have done better, sorry Joe.

I must join this site properly some time, don't appreciate being called anonymous.

1* totally bullshit...

Stick to the wife swapping and cheating wife stories. Your better at them.

I would shock the shit out of her and go pack and walk out the door.

You're only an enormous piece of shit

1*

I don't remember if the original author asked for others to continue or to write alternate endings to the original story. If not, it doesn't seem right to leech off of someone else's story idea, especially when you completely ignore parts of the back story to make your "alternate ending" work. I did not like this entry at all. Where is the chance to record the well-earned "1" ?

Completely misconstrued the first story to arrive at this junk. Made up a completely different first story.

The first chapter does not fit together with this ending. what about the text messages?

A little bit of fun.

Cheers, Joe.

"If those are my choices, I think I'll take number one," Bob said.

Sharon's eyes opened wide. "You'll what?"

"Number one. You think I'm jealous and insecure. I think you're a lying slut. You say I've abandoned you and my family for a year, when you know damn well, it's only been a little over two months that I've been working on this project that's taking up so much time. You say I didn't give you a chance to explain your actions, but we sure had a lot of 'quiet' time on the ride here. That would seem like plenty of time. You claim that Vickie is out to 'get' me, when nothing happened, as you well know. I didn't kiss her like you kissed your Romeo, she didn't give me her panties. We've been friends with Vickie and Ron for ages, but I never heard one peep about your office boyfriend, who you were keeping secret from me. You say you told me about him, them, but I never listened. Bullshit! If you mentioned guys at your 'girl's night out' I sure as hell would have paid attention - no, that's just more of your endless lies. I notice you failed to mention that Ron, Vickie's marriage counselor husband was going to be at the dinner with her tonight. It was his idea, to see if maybe we could salvage something of this marriage. You really think she's going to make a move on me with her husband there? So who's the jealous, insecure one now?"

"I ... I didn't know about Ron—"

"Of course you didn't. You were too busy patting yourself on the back for almost pulling one over one me. You may think you're slick turning this around on me, but I read your texts. You acted like a slut in public, you admitted it in your text, and now you try to act like it was all so innocent, once you were caught."

"It was just a stupid dare!" she yelled. "Not like this shit with you and Vickie!"

"I had lunch with Vickie to find out about your slutty public behavior, which ALL your friends were calling you on. We had lunch. Once. How many dozens of lunches did you have with Romeo? Let's talk some more about your lies. You DID tell me you were going out with the girls to Red Horse when you planned all along to go to a hotel restaurant where your 'date' was getting a room. The office Romeo you've been kissing and giving your panties to, who is now conveniently gay."

"He IS gay. They've been dating for two years, you heard them say that!"

"If I choose to believe it, which I don't. The office banter says the opposite. All I have is their word on it, and yours, but we've established you're a liar. Nice job though, getting them to play along. I guess that's the texting you were doing in the car on the way here, rather than trying to explain the situation. That was so considerate of you. When I had a problem, I talked to you about it, confronted it before it went too far. You decided to publicly humiliate me with those two bastards. That alone is worth dumping your slutty ass over. How DARE you purposely humiliate me."

"I didn't try to humiliate you—"

"Would you stop the goddamn lying! You DID do it on purpose. You laughed and smirked your way through the conversation, trying to belittle me and my concerns. Then you seem to think that comparing a lunch with Vickie, a public lunch about your slutty behavior, which you can't deny, and dinner with her and her husband somehow compares to what you've been up to. And I'M the jealous and insecure one? So, I choose number one. I'm going to dinner with Vickie and Ron, and see if he knows any good divorce attorneys. As a marriage counselor, I imagine he's probably familiar with the best."

She was quiet wondering how he'd managed to turn it back on her, after she'd managed to gain the upper hand. Then she realized it was because it was all true. She had behaved like a drunken slut. She had an inappropriate relationship whether the man was gay or not. She had lied, repeatedly. She was jealous and insecure, knowing that her husband was a great provider, and a good father, and that her friends always gushed about what a catch he was, up until these last couple of months. She had been angry at his confrontation, but he had done it in private, and she'd had plenty of time to at least attempt to explain things, instead of giving Luke the heads-up, and convincing him to have Sam there and to play up their relationship.

"Honey? I'm sorry. Do you think that I could join you three for dinner, and maybe we could talk with Ron about our issues, instead of a divorce? I know I've screwed up, and would like a second chance. I won't see Luke or Sam anymore, I swear. If you want me to stop going out with the girls I will, or if you want to join us, I won't lie about where we're going, or who's going anymore. I'm sorry about that. I chose number three, and you said you'd give us 100% effort, to work things out. Let's do that. Please?"

Bob stared at her for a long time, until she started fidgeting. "Choice number three was supposed to be you telling him you'd never see him again, and to give me fifteen minutes alone, not try to ambush me."

"Please, Bobby? I was just so angry. I didn't think what I was doing was wrong, Luke is gay, and it was just some stupid dares, and some meaningless lunches—"

"Where you took him into your confidence, talking about our marriage, and developing an emotional affair, even if it wasn't physical. Other than the kissing and grab ass. Oh, and panty dropping."

"I understand. I'll stop. I swear I will. No more Luke. No more getting stupid drunk. No more public dares. No more lies. Please, let's try to work this out."

Bob thought about it. He was pissed, no doubt about it. But she'd been a pretty good wife until the last couple of months. And he had his daughter to think about.

"Fine. One last chance, but one more lie and it's over. And don't be surprised when I tell Vickie and Ron about how you thought she was making a move on me. You know that they both think the other hung the moon. Really? Vickie? And you called ME jealous and insecure."

I loved it. Nice twist. You know you will piss off the many people who didn't get any therapeutic justice from this. I for one loved the bravery and the imagination. Always a fan Joe

A great twist.

What about the txt's, the room rental and Sam's video? What gay guy proposes getti g a room in case they drink too much? He has to b aware of how that would look to others and the husband. Also, why be comccerened about Sam's video?

But not a huge fan of this one either. Swingerjoe is definitely heads above all others in the imagination department. His writing is second to none. In short, he is a really fun author to read. But...

This time it didn't work for me. I would have enjoyed the story more if the complete setup came from him. Since he had to finish another author's setup, there are certain inconsistencies of human behavior that I didn't buy.

The largest was the dare to remove her panties. The behavior didn't come off as gay to me. I forget, but in the original, didn't he sniff them or something to that affect. I'm not sure, but his reaction to receiving a woman's panties was 100% hetero.

There were other things that didn't deviate from the story, but seemed a little odd to human behavior. My opinion is that if Swingerjoe had started this tale, the twist would have been awesome. He would have led the audience in the direction that he wanted, but still left the opening to pull the rug from under us. Since he had to alter another's story, there was little wiggle room.

The new author should not be insulted. He should be flattered that a seasoned author like Swingerjoe took a stab at his story.

I hope you post more Joe. I would love to read more of your writing.

where the tables get reversed. TK U MLJ LV NV

How dare you take a good story and shit on it like that. You made the guy a cum sucking wimp like yourself ya half a fag ! I did expect it to suck like all yojr stories do . Never try to do this again to another author !

Needs an alternate to the alternate ending by doing a better job of blending the facts of the prior chapter.

why this fucking cuck moron turned off rating...

The "I choose 1" poster right before Javmor's post.

I imagine that guy doing the whole

*drops the mic* bit

Smug that he rescued Joe's attempt at the twist!

I find it weird that what was a "little bit of fun" for Joe was to try to turn the hubby into a sniveling weasel. Why was that fun?

Having read both chapters of the original, I actually DO agree that it was pretty standard boilerplate stuff, That said, Joe's attempt to make readers cringe by introducing the concept of a gay couple as the solution to the mystery... well potentially OK twist, IF and I mean IF it had any logic or made sense.

You would have had to go back and rewrite most if not some of chapter one, in order to make that fit, The above referenced anon has it right. It seemed just like so much play acting and cover story. There certainly have been LW wives who the reader could imaging promising a DP 3-way later, as long as these 2 guys ACT gay in front of suspicious hubby NOW. I agreed BEFORE reading that comment, In YOUR version, I thought the gay guy thing was just a false cover.

Really, I agree that the BIGGEST LW trope is the lack of communication. ALL marital issues seem to stem from it. The sit-com style "big misunderstanding" CAN be enjoyable to read, if executed well. But the big problem I had was your attempts to minimize his right to be suspicious. SHE WAS NOTHING BUT ACTING SUSPICIOUSLY!!! You are STILL on a mission to try to convince people that suspicion and (worse) JEALOUSY are bigger sins in a marriage than say (oh I don't know) developing feelings for other people. You seem to love creating scenarios where the woman IS doing stuff that WILL/and SHOULD make the guy jealous, but THEN slap him down by claiming jealousy as some sort of outdated mysoginistic tool to be shunned.

Oh, you're just jealous, and it isn't attractive. Hmm

Well neither is lying, betrayal, or self-centered slut-like "freedom".

Yes these people have an obligation to each other, and YES only communication can begin to solve their problems. But one partner doesn't get to assert that their feelings are more important than the other's. The reason why it is so hard, is that the real solutions involve getting BOTH to have their feelings in the same place!

You know Joe, those kind of marital explorations make for the better stories too.

Just sayin'

Annony comments that are destroying this site are the worst. You arew a pig fag and eat shit dear anony. I gave this a 5 to help offset any score you might have given. The entire site hates your fucking guys!!!

I post a story and a commenter says that he knows the wife cheated when she clearly didn't in my story. People see what they want to see and it is usually a result of life experiences. SJ wanted to make hubby look like an ass for being so judgmental and possibly jumping to conclusions. My problem here is that I took the first story at face value, thus rendering the main characters in this version unrecognizable and the situation at the restaurant almost like an acid trip.

These characters just have the same names with a slightly same set up.

I can understand a reader not liking a plot line and wanting to change it, but altering a character needs a lot more finesse. The author needed to carefully read the story. Sorry but this is a hack job.

It started out like a different story. In the first story she was sorry. A 180 turn around. She still did wrong giving her panties to him and kissing him. In the first part of the story Luke is a womanizer. DOES NOT MATCH UP. I would give this story a 1 only because you can not give a 0.

Please read the original story before. Follow the original story.

I know you are better than this, I have read your work.

Let see he smells her panties , he is a womizer at work . One complant from beening fired. She is so ashame of herself when Vickie confronts her . She says in her emails she has made a big mistake and it's gone too far in first story. What story did you rewrite swingerjoe ? Did you read the first story at all? Where is don the video guy . Why was Sam never talked about in the first story BECAUSE Luke wasn't gay ! YOU took a great story and turned it into shit shame on you for doing this To a good writers story . You did this to start crap and to piss people off shame shame . You get a 0 for not sticking to the story line what a loser .

Horrible rendition Did you read the first stories?Sure didn't look like it with this thrown together self serving mess.Sad joe.

And get away from that narcissistic psychopath you're married to.

Of course I meant Vicki!

Wish there was an edit button.

who is the Big Favorite in this bout. TK U MLJ LV NV

Nah!!!!

Didn't get past the man kiss. You took a very nice BTB and replaced it with a gay theme so I discarded the story.

Nice try and good English comp and punctuation and story stays together but not my 'cuppa tea'.

That part about Luke being a skirt-chaser, with muliple sexual harassment suits...where did that information come from?

VICKI!

The woman who was chasing after the husband and trying to break their marriage apart. You all somehow think she told hubby the truth?

This was a waste of my time! Definitely not an improvement on the original!

More like an alternate reality. You either ignored or changed the majority of the original story to fit your dumb agenda. Literally NOTHING is consistent with the original here. None of the characters, none of the events, it's all bullshit.

2 stars from me, only avoids a 1 due to writing quality. This isn't "different", it's nonsense that shows absolutely no regard for the source material.

He couldn't stand the negative votes. This was absolute trash with no real development beyond the surprise ending. Hope you didn't put more than ten or 15 minutes into this mess.

Perhaps you wrote it in study hall.

You really flipped the script. I will agree with those whose criticisms are about the differences in the characters and the lack of continuity between facts. What you did however was show that perhaps we hadn't heard the whole story.

That said it was a great flip. Too often the women are written as brain dead twits who can't be seen in public without their vaginas trying to grab some strange dick. Nice to see a female written with some real thought.

that you have usurped the title of a fairly good story by a new author. The only connection between this and the original is the title and the names of the characters. But I guess this displays your true contempt for men who will not tolerate their women cheating, doesn't it? My hope is that someone else picks this line up and has Bob reaquire his balls. In my opinion, he could walk away and be justified. This woman clearly has no respect for him or their marriage. While he was working diligently to provide the best life he could for his wife and family, she placed her wants and desires above the needs of her husband and family. She demonstrated totally selfish behavior. And what a shabby excuse - "you were never here." It was actually HER that abandoned THEM.

I wish there was a way to score this shit story! Guess what it would be.

I was hoping for her to pick the 50 and see that play out. This storyline didn't fit the originals. It was like she picked the 100 and said fuck you its really 0.

I'll just quote the words of one Anon commenter:

"YOU took a great story and turned it into shit shame on you for doing this to a good writers story. You did this to start crap and to piss people off ....shame shame." Switching off the rating system IMO means you were quite sure that the majority of your readers would not like your posting.

I have to say, the LW category never disappoints. The reaction to this story is pretty much what I expected: outrage over the depiction of an intelligent and strong-willed wife, nitpicking over slight discrepancies rather than focusing on the larger picture, and taking the entire story a little too seriously. Three for three!

As someone pointed out already, most of the discrepancies you all focused on (Romeo's reputation as a womanizer, his sexual harassment allegations, etc.) are explained by the fact that everything Bob knew about this guy came from Vicki -- the woman who was out to destroy Bob's marriage and take him for herself! Of course she would lie about all of that.

My goal here (well, one of them) was simply to show other authors that there are more creative and original ways to end the standard boilerplate plot where a cheated husband confronts a cheating wife. We don't always have to turn hubby into a superhero or cum-guzzling wimp. There are other options.

(By the way, mega-kudos to the anon who wrote the alternate ending to my alternate ending! THAT'S what I'm talking about!)

I spent three months writing an eleven chapter story for this site, and that story received a few thousand views and maybe half a dozen comments. I spent less than an hour writing this story, and it has already received more views than my eleven chapter story and more comments than almost any other story I've written!

Again, I thank Ahazura for allowing me to write this story. The reaction to my ending should inspire you, knowing that readers prefer the original.

whether gay or not, her behavior is way bad...................

You should have left the original story alone, it wasn't great, but your ending sucked, if you think you improved on the original YOU FAILED. Stick to your own stories, If I was the original author I would be extremely pissed off that someone would write this garbage. Please do us all a favor and in the future don't try to make adjustments to other authors stories. As a matter of fact, do us all a favor and quit writing entirely.

You took a good story with a good ending and gave it a trite, high school "twist." Zero stars.

You took an average LW story that had a ridiculous ending, gave it your own silly ending and people are behaving as if you rewrote Ibsen.

But the reality is that girls night out is not where married women should be going, just leads to trouble doesnt it. If she misses him then make time. Omitting the presence of the two gays is a form of lieing too, led to misconceptions. Bet she lume the cash that will flow with the big project.

Of course he expected it, his type always does, that's why they shut off voting. Don't want others to see the low scores they earn. Of course, the likes of Lex1, will always have their nose up his ass and praise him.

Comes only natural for the swingers/willing cuckold guys. Told this dip shit not to finish this story, he would only fuck it up. Well like I predicted that's exactly what he did. If I could score it a would give it a resounding 1 STAR rating.

It's an insult to the original author to fuck up his story so badly, as swingerjoe did with this ending. Did anybody really expect anything different from this swinger?

So, what, married women should stay at home, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen where they belong?

Married women can -- and do -- go out with their friends without their husbands. It's called being an adult. And husbands happily allow it because of a little something called trust.

If you think that if your wife goes out with the girls she will cheat on you, then you really shouldn't be married.

Fantastic!

And now queue the btb crowd and the anon cowards who will be angry about this story but will be able to offer no explanation at all for why this is bad or why they aren't obvious, misogynist hypocrites.

If voting were open I'd give it 5 stars. A whole different view of things.

What in the world possessed you to allow some one like "swingerjoe" to finish a story that wasn't all that bad on it's own? Enough readers liked it to earn you well over four stars, wasn't that good enough for you.

Did you really thing a guy that writes swinger/willing cuckold tales would do your story justice?

Although your original story had some issues, with practice you will improve.

I hope you learned a lesson. Be a little more particular who you choose to finish of any future stories. Better yet, write your own alternate endings. at least they would be consistent with the theme of the original.

Gave this story a ONE STAR rating, which I know is meaningless, since this chickenshit won't allow voting. Don't blame him, I wouldn't either.

Why finish another's story and not allow voting?

Done poorly by the way. Did not keep with the original intent of part 1. I don't mind alternate endings but they should keep a close relationship with the premise of the original author's writing.

1 star

I can see that you're one of those insecure tools who can't handle criticism. No, we readers are just supposed to accept what you've written and never question it, even when it goes full-retard. Oh yeah, kudos to everyone who rationalizes and justifies your inconsistent tripe, and anyone who says different is just nitpicking and taking he story too seriously. Is grass still green in your world? Or is it purple because you say so?

With all due "respect", fuck what you say. Let's take this seriously. Let's go through just some of the rampant inconsistencies and plot holes in this thing.

Let's start with the biggest one. You and your little yesmen say that the information Bob is running off of was all provided by Vicki. Okay, fair enough, he does find out from Vicki. But what about the stuff that's in Sharon's own writing, hm? You know, the emails where Sharon acknowledges that her behavior with Luke is sending the wrong kinds of messages, and where she herself says she's been acting like a slut and that "Bob deserves better than me"? No, just gonna ignore that completely, not even make a single mention of them? M'kay.

Okay, how about Sharon lying about her "girl's night out", knowing full well that NONE of the "girls" were going to be there? If her dealings with Luke and his "boyfriend" were so innocent, why did she NEVER mention them? No, not gonna address that, either? Alright.

What about Vicki's husband, Rob? For the sake of your "alternate ending", you turned an innocent character into a complete fiend, who's not only looking to ruin her own friend's marriage, but her own as well. But then you don't make a single mention of Vicki herself being happily married to an adoring husband. Nah, she's just the Bond Villain of the story. Sure, fine, whatever.

I also noticed you retconned Sharon crying when Bob confronted her. I guess to cry is to admit guilt, and in your world, Sharon had absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Because she's a strong, independent woman, who don't need no man! So I guess a sign of a "strong-willed" wife is a penchant towards childish and wildly inappropriate behavior, ONLY when hubby's not around? And for someone so "strong-willed", you would think she would've said something to Bob in regards to him not being around enough due to his projects. But apparently she didn't, since Bob didn't know she had that much of a problem with it. Or was that supposed to imply that Bob doesn't pay attention to her when she brought it up?

One of your problems is that you make all these half-baked implication and assumptions, with absolutely NOTHING in the source material to back it up. Vicki turns from concerned friend, to heartless homewrecker because...reasons? And let's look at the stupidity of your version of Vicki. She makes up all this shit, and expects Bob to jump into her arms and/or between her legs? She doesn't think he's going to follow up on what she told him and find that nothing was really going on? I guess not, since she doesn't bother to sew any more discord. The last time we actually see her in the original is after she tells Bob that there won't be any girls involved in the girl's night out, and she never makes an actual appearance in this.

You say our goal was to show people there are different ways to do things? No shit. The author of the original made the story with three possible endings, making your "goal" kinda redundant. And "different" isn't always good. You can be "different" by using dog piss instead of milk for your cereal, doesn't mean it's a good idea. And I like how you act like it took some kind of talent and vision to do this. Yeah, because it's soooo difficult to write an alternate ending that completely and utterly ignores 90% of the source material, and "re-interprets" the other 10% to fit what you want, not what makes sense. In Hollywood, they call that a "reboot".

You've torpedoed whatever point you were trying to make by doing the laziest, most thoughtless, self-serving type of "continuation" there is. Even FTDS, whose continuations frequently stray into the realm of outright parody, makes more of an effort to keep things consistent than you.

Not doubt you're going to label me as a simple detractor who doesn't "get it", but it doesn't matter. Your talk of critics taking your work "too seriously" reminds me of those dumb arthouse movie directors who make terrible films, then dismiss critics by saying "It was supposed to be awful, that was the point". It's like saying the "Scary Movie" series deserves a pass because it's a parody franchise. A shit movie is still a shit movie, regardless of the intent behind it. And a shit story is still a shit story, regardless of the intent behind it. This thing makes no sense, given what it's based on. The whole page is one giant plot hole that you didn't even attempt to fill in.

But you keep on keepin' on, swingerjoe. Keep on playing the "misunderstood artist" and acting like some enlightened individual. And I'll keep on not reading your stories, now that I know what to expect.

This story suck a bucket of SHIT WATER. You did a fucked up job on a new ending. Finish the dam story would have done a betted rewrite. I guess you are a CUCK.

While it's true that SOME of the evidence comes second hand from Vickie, and we don't know what ulterior motive she may or may not have, there are still enough lies to mean that this ending changed too much of the original story to be meaningful.

Remakes are never as good as the original!

Sigh...

How dare he have an opinion that is different from ours? He must be a fag!

I'm sorry anon. Really, I am. I'm not being sarcastic or laughing behind your back as I'm saying this. If you would be so kind, maybe you can send me your email address. That way, the next time I read a story I can email and ask you if its okay to praise him or not.

Or you can simply send me a list of authors I am allowed to like. That would be awesome.

Thank you for your help. And no, you are not a moron.

Just go away

Geez, what a mature author we're dealing with here ! In his own words said he wrote a multi part story that got maybe a few comments. Well inspector Columbo , what does that say for our intrepid author's talents ? Well, the miss's said to me just the other day that a dead pig sure does start to grin after a few days in the summer sunshine !

If that metaphor doesn't make a lot of sense to you, then why this author is still posting his tripe on here makes even less to me!

This was a case of a subpar author taking advantage of a new author, plain and simple !

The very fact that the author turned off the voting only underscores his treachery !

Easy to see why the rating system was shut off. Best thing about it is that it was only 1 page.

This alternate is written by someone who was presumably outraged that the male protagonist was a misogynist and had the audacity to make such ultimatums of his emotionally unfaithful wife.

This author should stick to what he knows and not dabble in stories where he decides to completely disregard the original plot.

The award for Angriest LW Reader of the Day goes to...

HeWhoGoesThere! Congratulations! You win...an ulcer!

I'm always amazed at how angry people get by reading a free story on an amateur porn site. Lighten up, people.

To the many annonies who don't seem to grasp the concept of why I turn the ratings off for every one of my LW stories, I invite you to read my bio. I've explained this many times, but I realize some of you are probably new here.

I can't help but think that some of this anger comes from the fact that I've taken away your one and only weapon in this "war" that you have within this category. I encourage my fellow LW authors to join me. I couldn't care less about the ratings -- especially in this category -- and neither should you.

Way to flip it !! I note how one Anony tried to provide evidence that this author had ignored important parts of the original . . . but didn't bother to check the source in the original (always check the source, Anony). It was VICKI, the one who in this alternate ending wanted to break up his marriage, who made all the claims about Luke . . . so those claims could well be false. It'd be pretty difficult for the husband to check Vickie's assertions though, so he (and we) accept them at face value . . . a dangerous thing to do. And yes, Vickie CLAIMS she's married to a person who does marriage counseling . . . but it's Vickie, and her husband (if he exists) is a counselor . . . no solid guarantees of veracity there.

Also Anony, a gay person can get cited for sexual harassment (not that it's relevant here . . . but just thought you should know). Being gay does not automatically mean it's impossible for you to behave like a real asshole. If you don't believe me, ask someone with more experience in that area . . . I'm sure they'll let you know that assholeism, (and harassment) transcend sexual preference boundaries.

And as to the idea that gay guys and straight gals wouldn't play some 'games' like in the story . . . yes, it DOES happen. There is a freedom when there is that total lack of sexual hookup pressure that allows for actions that would seem extremely inappropriate otherwise.

I think swingerjoe even (to some extent) had the 'stretch' points covered. The wife knew the video might look bad, even though there was no real chance of her hooking up with Luke. She wanted to explain things to her husband, but he was too upset to listen.

So, while swingerjoe had to stretch a little, I think this (for the most part) is a perfectly viable outcome. The husband really should have expressed his concerns before laying down an ultimatum. Now, to be honest, after the original, I was behind him all the way. But, I enjoy a story that requires me to examine some of my biases and/or other preconceived notions. This alternate ending did that well. Dyed in the wool misogynists will hate this ending though.

So no ratings allowed, eh? Smart.

Did somebody step on your little toes Lex1? LMAO Calling others a "moron". Look in the mirror lately Lex? These cuckies crack me up. No wait, we also have javmor and frontlinecaster joining in. The cuckies of literotica. That is so rich.

To turn a decent story into an abhorrent steaming pile of cuck shit. Do the original the justice it deserves and delete this. Loser.

c24j spelled it out nicely for us. Join the club fellow. You belong to a crowd of elites on this site. They are called "cuckies".

We rarely see (I rarely see) a story with the tables turned around so squarely, I saw it as humorous although I have no idea if that was the author's original intention. I've seen the comments where it's stated that there are inconsistencies, I'm not going to go back and look as it'll ruin my current appreciation for the story.

My only problem with the story is her "in public" condition when it comes to affairs. If she's going to turn this around as completely as she did I expect her to firmly have the moral high ground. That comments causes me to question her fidelity, and weakens her position.

3 from me. Thanks for sharing

Threeson.

Gotta love the number of people who are commenting on "cucks" on a story that didn't have a single cuck in it!

Angry much?

I have openly argued with Lex and Javmor both. But because we happen to share a passing enjoyment of this one single story we are now all on the same side. I'm amazed the anons aren't ranting that we all must be the same person too.

It's almost as though to the BTB crowd anyone ever having an opinion other than 'kill all the bitches!' is a 'cuckold faggot' in their eyes.

First Justbobkc makes a mess with a good story. Then old Swingerjoe takes a shot a a mediocre story. And fails miserably. Then he feels the need to justify his failure by commenting on his lousy followup. Trust me Joe, you just need to give it a rest and stick to writing your own stories (or attempting to write a story). You managed to take an unfinished story and write an unfinished followup. Just great planning! BTW I think that Bob should have gotten up, left her to pay the check and left the bitch. But that's just me. We'll never know what happened because you didn't finish the damn story. Idiot.

No stars because even giving this garbage one star would be an insult to the star.

We get it. You didn't like the first story. Unfortunately your story, like so many other follow ups doesn't succeed because it ignores or changes many of the original facts in the original. If you wanted to make a point it would have been made better if you could have stuck with the facts established in the first story. That being said, I do like many of you stories and will continue to read them. Please keep contributing.

anon.1

Anony's who result to name calling - - - you DO realize that's an admission that either on a conscious or subconscious level, you fear our assertions and outlooks may be correct. Lacking logical argument, you stoop to name calling. I thank you, and I (and perhaps others) graciously accept your tacit admission of our superior analysis and healthier, cleaner approach to life. I wish you well, and suggest you actually look up the meaning of the words cuckold and how in some cases, the label is not possible. Look up cuckquean (it may be spelled differently) and wittol as well.

Also, to the Anony who wrote the alternate ending to swingerjoe's alternate ending. I just finished it. I really enjoyed it !! Good work !!

Also, a poke at swingerjoe . . . I'm giving you four stars plus in the non-existent ratings. Four for writing a fun and slightly thought provoking ending . . . and a plus for pissing off so many Anons. To the Anonymous who wrote the alternate to swingjoe's alternate . . . 4 stars as well. So 4* for Anony and 4*+ for you swingerjoe . . . Deal with it !!

Instead of even attempting to refute my points, you just call me "angry" and deflect.

So calling it like I see it and telling it like it is, makes me "angry"? Dat logic, tho. Is your ego really so over-inflated that you think I would waste actual emotion on this? Do you think you're that good? Funny. Nah, I deal in facts, bruh. Facts that you can't argue against, so you act like a clown to try and distract people.

But since you want to play games, let's play. So, you said you had a goal in doing this, that you were trying to send a defined message here. But then you say that the story shouldn't be taken seriously. Doesn't that means your message shouldn't be taken seriously? If that's the case, doesn't that make this whole thing an entirely pointless waste of time, both for you as the writer, and us as the readers?

So it's a troll story, then. You complain about people attacking you and unfairy downvoting your works, but then you do stuff like this, continuing the cycle and doing yourself no favors. Now I really feel bad for the author of the original. His first effort on this site, and you've effectively hijacked it and turned it into a punchline. Bravo.

If you don't care about your own shit writing, that's fine. Different strokes for different folks. But shit writing is still shit writing, and it deserves to be called out for what it is. This story was an inconsistent mess that didn't make a single iota of sense when considering what it spawned from and what it as advertised to be. Like the child of a black couple coming out neon green("It was just the one time, honey! His name was Bruce Banner..."). Therefore, it is shit writing. Therefore, it deserves to be called out. Don't like it? Don't put out shit writing, problem solved.

Are there major changes in this alt ending? Yes, but you are seeing it through the eyes of a different character. SJ is taking some liberties but as he points out much of the first story is based on hearsay from a third party. This isn't history it's fiction so I think he's entitled, with the original authors permission, to play around with it.

I'm a fan of the Showtime series The Affair where these discrepancies in people's recollections is highlighted as the story is told from various points of view. In the first season when the affair started, from her POV he continued to chase her after she said no while his memory told a very different story of a mysterious siren luring him away from his wife and family. Even one conversation using much the same words can have a completely opposite meaning simply by varying tone, movement, facial expressions.

So to this story, I didn't hate it and I didn't love it and probably would have given it three.

Azahura thinks of you using his characters for "your own story", because you certainly haven't provided an alternate ending to his. I've always felt when an author offers up their work for others to use to create an alternate ending, it was accepted practice for the original work to be used in it's intended form, not to have it altered to fit the new author's personal preference.

I get why you don't have people vote on LW stories. It's clear how many people base their votes as though they're passing judgement on real people committing real transgressions against their significant others and not fictional characters. Your preface mentions you were offering a different spin on the plot and trying to have some fun which is fine. You probably should have also mentioned up front that your alternate ending would bear little resemblance to the original work it was derived from.

You're not angry because you call it like you see it; you're angry because your words clearly reflect a deep-rooted anger caused by reading a fictional story on a free amateur porn site. You probably should seek help, but I don't know enough about you to make that call. Maybe you contain your anger to only erotic porn.

To your points, my goal (as I stated at the very beginning of the story) wasn't to improve upon the original author's work, but to offer a different spin on a well-worn plot. That doesn't mean the spin should be taken as seriously as you and others have demonstrated. It's supposed to be entertaining. Not every story on this site needs to be dark and deep and depressing.

It isn't a "troll story", although considering that it has generated more than 100 comments in less than twelve hours, and that it took me less than an hour to write, if I were to write such a story I couldn't have done a better job. That wasn't my goal, however.

I haven't complained about anyone unfairly attacking me or down-voting my stories. You must have me confused with someone else. In fact, before I turned off the ratings to my LW stories, all but one of my LW stories had a rating over 4.0. Low ratings have never been an issue. The problem you seem to have is that I don't care about the ratings, and that bothers you because you really, really want to click that one star, but can't.

As for Ahazura, as I stated earlier, the overwhelming negative reaction to my alternate ending only reinforces the overwhelming positive reaction to his ending. I don't see how I've hurt him in any way. It's just the opposite. I guarantee the next time he submits a LW story, a lot of people will read it because of this little "controversy."

I'm fine with your opinion that I'm a shit writer. I never claimed to be Hemingway. (And if you're looking for Hemingway, you've come to the wrong place.) Of course, I can't help but point out that you've never written a single story for this site. So which is worse: being a shit writer or no writer at all?

I know this really irritates you, but the bottom line for me is that I really don't care what you think. I write because I enjoy writing. You criticize (I assume) because you enjoy criticizing. Maybe if you actually submit a story someday, we can switch roles. Wouldn't that be fun?