You need to reread your story. It could be a good quick one. However, your grammar makes it just quick. Find an editor also.
they need to get to business
Thanks for your story. These people seem inhibited. Too bad for us, but some people are that way. I hope they can break through it.
Maybe this is an invitation to readers for comments on the sis-in-law experience? From my side I can very well relate to that from experience.
I would use my long tongue on my sister in law
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Grammar
You need to reread your story. It could be a good quick one. However, your grammar makes it just quick. Find an editor also.
a little boring
they need to get to business
Bridled Passion
Thanks for your story. These people seem inhibited. Too bad for us, but some people are that way. I hope they can break through it.
Invite
Maybe this is an invitation to readers for comments on the sis-in-law experience? From my side I can very well relate to that from experience.
Tongue
I would use my long tongue on my sister in law
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Sister-in-law Visits or
More submissions by nyguy5151.