The Link

Wow.

Holy damn DC, so good.

That was....

Awesomely good. Really well done. I read it straight through even though I didn't have the time. I cannot wait for Teegan's part.

holy crap, gonna have to put some time aside for this one

23 lit pages is like 200 pages in MS word

gonna take a bit

Well told story

Some will quibble about the length...most would divide into smaller chunks, but I, too, read it in one sitting. Noticed a few things that escaped the editing which is understandable in such a long piece-- autocomplete often confuses and replaces inappropriately when we misspell and I hate that it often replaces your with you.
Awaiting part 2, great idea with the teaser.

Wow.

Just......Wow...

Voting defective, it only goes up to 5 stars.

Oh cruel DC to give us such a short snippet and make us wait for the next bit! I felt a bit let down by Perfect Pieces and Neglected wasn't really to my taste but you have really nailed it with this one.

:D

Thank you .

This needs to be turned into a tv series

Well thought out and meaty characters. Awesome.

WOW

And more to come? WOW

THERE'S A GOOD REASON

that DreamCloud is on the top of my list of favorite authors. This is a GREAT story that is well-told.

Thoughtful and creative

I've said this before, DreamCloud and I will say it again. You are one of the best writers on this site. I first joined Literotica for gratuitous sex stories; I did not expect to find creativity in story telling at this level and bugger the sex. Excellent . . . nuff said

Brilliantly done!

This deserves to be published somewhere else, like at Amazon, where people who wouldn't look at a "porn site" can find it.

Spectacular

I love everything you write and this is no exception. I'm looking forward to the sequel.

Why did this story have to come

just as the snow and ice and cold was gone and the temperature rose tempting you outside? Worth spending a half day reading it, you are darn right. Well done and thank you.

wow!!!

I almost lost my job today because I was reading your story and it's beyond comprehension,wow,all I can say after that...

thanks for sharing!

great story I greatly appreciate your work

Amazing

That was an amazing story. I look forward to the Link 2.

I am hooked!!

I originally skipped this story because of it length but decided to break it up over a couple of days. I failed and read it all in one sitting and I will be exhausted at work in the morning!! I look forward to more stories about Stinky

magnificent

drama, sci fi, romance, intrigue, fantasy, and so much more.
well worth the time.

the phone call to mom giving her their address seemed a bit too simplistic. and the April/Abigail name confusion was regrettable.

But in spite of how late it is, I am already looking forward to part 2.

thanks

Standing Ovation!

I will quibble a bit about the need for an editor to polish off the typos that have crept in here and there, BUT I will unabashedly say that typos and all, this is the best story that I have ever read on Literotica and it also stands right alongside some of the best literature I have ever read!

Thank you for a wonderful story—even if you did manage to suck me in until 4:00 AM this morning!
;-)

Wonderful story

Enjoyed this more than some of Asimov's stories. The story itself is a gift. Thank you.

Nice story

Belongs in novels and novellas. Badly in need of an editor, too. Post it in novels so I know to allow the time it takes to read it. It's a very good story.

Nice

How long will you make us wait for chapter 2?

Astounding!

I will join in on the comments about typos and punctuation, but the pace, character development, and tightness of the story was fabulous! the best free novel I've ever read. Bravo!

You are a very visual storyteller.

This was incredibly engaging. It held my interest from the start.

Like most of your stories, it was told in a very visual manner that makes it seem almost like you are watching it unfold. Again, it reads much like a movie adaptation done before the movie.

I was put off a bit by some of the implications of the epilogue. I have never met a Jew hating Christian though I know that there are a rare few. The idea that there would be some secret society of them with the power to sneak someone passed coburn's paranoid security seems rather far fetched. Silly to feel this way about a minor point in a story this fanciful. Maybe I will find it more satisfying in chapter two.

Thanks again for a great read! Looking forward to the rest of the story.

Only a minor issue

First I want to point out that there are a lot of grammatical errors. Aside from that it was a great story. A little more detail helps to give the reader a better visual. Sometimes you did that, other times you didn't. Simple things like wall color or room descriptions and hair styles go a long way. That's my problem with nearly all stories on here. You did so much better than most authors on here. It's also ok to sidetrack from the story line just to mix things up, a story within the story you could say. I always look forward to your stories. Keep it up.

Absolutely outstanding!

Fantastic concept and delightful story. You are my favorite author. I eagerly look forward to everything you write.

thank you from Norway

The best i have ever read here, and with a little more landscape, and shifting intrigues, it would be as good as my favourite author Wilbur Smith. I am so glad you gave us the teaser for the next chapter, so we know to expect more :D :D :D

Wow

Just wow !

More please

Echo ...

Ditto to all comments previous......

What if The Link met The Network?

Just a thought.

DC, the story is AWESOME! I could not stop reading until I read all of it.

Great job but everyone else has told you that already!

Names etc.

I think you are a very good story teller and I've thoroughly enjoyed all y works you've posted on Literatica. But please, pay a little more attention when choosing names for your characters and don't make changes part way through. Rose is referred to as Ruth a couple of times and Abigal became Alison for a while! It really detracts from the flow of the story when you have to backtrack and confirm who is talking

Good work!

I like DC's works and I enjoyed this, although this is actually an area explored by Dean Koontz in a couple of his works.
Not sure if a sequel is a good plan or what it can add, might be best with the end left hanging!

STRANGENESS IN STRANGE TIMES

is always the Genesis and the Exodus. TK U MLJ LV NV

Sorry about the errors!

As always, editing is my weak point. Finding an editor that works for free is a challenge. Something of this size takes weeks of work and few people have the desire to take on such a task for free. A professional edit would cost over $5,000, so that's out since this is a hobby and not a profession.

This wasn't posted as chapters on this site. If I had done so, it would have taken two months to post them all. Each chapter is queued separately on a 2-3 day clock. Each chapter would have been reviewed separately then the next queued. Other author's works get their time as well. I have no idea how other writers post chapters before the story is complete. For all I know, entire chapters will be thrown out or rewritten as the story develops. I never plan any of my stories, so posting as I write is out.

Excellent!

I'll admit, I was extremely giddy when I saw this story in the new stories section in the app. I've fav'd a few DreamCloud stories and seeing this one had me excited. It took me a couple days to read in between real life, but it was definitely as fantastic as I've come to enjoy from DreamCloud. I can't wait for book 2 after the brief preview at the tail end of book 1.

DreamCloud

No need to apologize. I will gladly read an unedited work of yours, warts and all, any day. I cannot imagine finding an editor who can equal your skill and talent. Perhaps if they did not try to add to the story, or suggest creative changes, sticking solely to the role of proof reader?
Thanks for sharing your imagination with us.

Spellbinding Story

This one was a surprise today. Once I started I could not put it down. As somebody else commented, five stars are not enough. Cannot wait for more of "Stinky's" story.

chapter 2? please

next chapter please

Amazing

Great work. The world is a better place having this story in it.

I hope . . .!!!

I hope to see more on this story (and probably will) this being said IMHO I believe that you have surpassed yourself. Well done !!!

5 stars

An excellent story, and up there with top writers here. The only thing I ask is in chapter two don't skip straight to her being 18. Give us the fill between. It is to great of a story not to!

Amazing!!!!!

WOW! This is an amazing story that surpasses your others. I am fan of your awesome work! Keep it up! And I cant wait for chapter 2!

Great story

Great story in the best tradition of science fiction. (And the romance was definitely there!). It will be hard to top it with a sequel.

DC, excellent story! You are among a few authors on this site for whom I drop everything to read your latest story! I fully understand your comments on editing, I had no idea editing cost so much. This is a free site, with so many talented authors! It seems wrong for so many to point our minor errors, especially those of a "auto-spell-correct" programs. The excellence of the story erases any thoughts of those minor errors.

Again, excellent story! I look forward to chapter 2! The preview is intriguing!

Should be sci-fi...

But I'll forgive you since the story's awesome.

4 from me. Would be 5 in SF.

You did not disappoint!

As I started reading this I kept recalling the movie Firestarter. Half way through I thought of reading the original Lethal Weapon and just how much better the book was than the movie because of the author's thoughts that cannot make it onto the screen. As the pages came to an end I was thinking how much I would like to see this as a mini series. The end of this page has made me a very happy reader.

Channeling Zenna Henderson

My very favorite sci-fi author is the late Zenna Henderson (a pen name of a former Tucson teacher). This story is so much like much of her all too small body of work. Anyone who enjoyed this, as I certainly did, should find her writing and read it as well. Great work. Looking forward to Part 2. A true gem of a story. Possibly miscategorized as "Romance" but who cares. Minor editing/proofreading would help.

STARMAN LIVES AGAIN

and Stinky/Teegan has the answers. TK U MLJ LV NV

This should be published

DC. Have you thought of putting this on Smashwords or some other site. I would gladly pay for a copy. You should earn something for your efforts. Even though I can read it for free here I would like to support you somehow