The preface of the last chapter you mentioned getting negative comments and it made it difficult for you to write. Sure, it feels good to to get positive feedback. Everybody likes to have their efforts appreciated. BUT, and this is important, at the end of the day, the only person that needs to be happy with your work is you. Read the comments both good and bad, positive and negative. Look at them realistically. Maybe discuss them with people that know what you write and get their opinion of the comments. If it makes sense, use the comments to improve your work IF IT WORKS FOR YOU!
Can't say as I have been in your shoes because, while I also write, I have yet to post my own stories here. Maybe I should take my own advice?
This is hot and heavy emotional stuff. I am not surprised that it took you a long time to write. But most importantly the care you took over the construction shines through.
I hope that you will feel encouraged to continue the story now.
Best Wishes
Tom D
I have over 90 stories, mostly in the form of outlines. The effort and will to finish it is a big leap for me. In your case, you have written these stories and crossed a kind of Rubicon. I think that's a wonderful achievement. Neighborhood Dad is a great story and I wish I could write something that comes even 10% close to it. It is easy to criticize, especially when people are not opening themselves to it. Honestly, like someone else commented, read them objectively, categorize the ones that simply lash out as "worthless" and move on. Keep writing. It's a craft that takes effort and skill to hone. I'm looking forward to more from you. Lots more!
by
Anonymous02/17/16
Great story, and I'm happy with the quick updates.
I'm probably the only one that hopes he doesn't hook up with Autumn or her mom.
by
Anonymous02/17/16
They need to go to their own prom
I see why you had problems with this chapter. How to get her to tell him he needed random sex to make their relationship stronger is always a tough slough. To repair what he's trying to break could be as simple as him taking her out for an elegant evening of dining and dancing.
Thanks for continuing this great story.
by
Anonymous02/17/16
Change
This is a truly excellent series. A terrific set up for erotic lit, plus I'm a big hoops fan and love the basketball aspect. At this point in your story trajectory: be careful! There's a number of aspects to this warning. I'll just lay them out in no particular order; they aren't necessarily related to each other, but OTOH, they aren't necessarily unrelated:
1. This is Lit Erotica, not Lit Plumbing the Depths of the Emotional Complexities of Intergenerational Sexual Relationships. As long as you don't get hung up on emotional complexities and just use them to set up the Erotica, you should be OK.
2. Don't believe everything you think. When it comes to human emotions, a good starting point is: Don't believe *ANYTHING* you think.
3. Human sexual relationships boil down to one simple binary statement determined by evolutionary biology: Men want NUbility; women want STAbility. A few, principally wealthy men, get a lot of what they want. Many get some of it, for a generally short interval.
4. Adjusting to change, which is to say: *loss* is the most essential skill for navigating life.
Good chapter, finally dealing, or trying to deal with the reality of twenty years of age difference. I have no doubt they love each other, but his idea of love is different than hers, because of experience. I thought you did a good job on the discussion, the confrontation, even to where Paige told them they were getting loud and I suspect she did hear some of what was said. Very interested to see where the next chapter leads us, the readers.
I suspect there are a lot of middle aged to older males on here thinking about what it would be like to have an eighteen year old young woman in love with us. Thinking about the age gap, getting older, about performing, about societies disapproval. Underneath the euphoria of love and sex, there is fear and that is a large part of the story now.
by
Anonymous02/17/16
drat..just as
I get totally hooked, I run out of chapters...arghhhhhh! Ok...I can tap toes for a bit...a short bit mind you...
by
Anonymous02/17/16
This crap is still being written? I thought this story was flushed down the toilet where it belongs.
by
Anonymous02/17/16
HEY ANNONY you ass wipe, it's chapter 20!!! And you read every fucking word
Eat shit you fag, you fucking know you love these stories and so does everyone else on here. I gave this a 5 to offset your retarded 1 vote!!!
There will always be bits you think are not quite right, but do not dwell on them for too long. Provided the story runs as you want it to then all is good enough.
I am really enjoying the story and look for the next chapter.
My only complaint would be it is too short. I do realise it can get too wordy if an idea is stretched too far, but you could have something else running in the same chapter. Perhaps build up Paige's life more with her boyfriend as a secondary plot.
I really enjoy the story line, and the execution. Please don't keep us waiting to long for the next chapter. :-)
by
Anonymous02/18/16
Great Story, interesting sex and excellent character development
I started reading this for the obvious reason, but by chapter 2 I was interested in the characters and the story line and the struggles the dad was having. Having played HS basketball, that helped to - usually sports comments fall flat and obviously phony - yours were right on. Don't think I have ever read a 20 chapter story on this site before, but I couldn't stop reading this one.
Every writer gets reviews from low-lifes, but it is easy understand their limited view from their comments.
I try to read 100 books a year of all types (have only made it twice) so I can comment that you have talent as a writer/author. Whether it is soft porn or more traditional story lines, I would really hate to see you stop writing; I think you have the mind-set that can contribute to the literary marketplace.
by
Anonymous02/18/16
First ever comment
I have never commented on a story on Literotica. Decided to do so because this is just some fine piece of writing. The argument in this chapter was amazing, and the whole story just runs along so well. I wouldn't get concerned about the drop in readership, though. Think about it - the whole way Literotica works is like a TV series, I have started many that I really enjoyed but for one or other reason I drop them. That's because I cannot do once a week, and thousands of people prefer reading a whole book at once. I have just read all your chapters in one day, but this time I will read for all the next chapters.
by
Anonymous02/18/16
A necessary part well done
This was a necessary part of the story line, difficult to craft but well executed,
When I found this series a couple of years ago, I really enjoyed it. I know a lot of people get really bitchy in their comments if you don't fill every paragraph with graphic descriptions of kinky sex. Ignore them. I was incredibly happy to find that you had gotten over your writer's block and resumed the story. And I find the story to be totally believable - I found myself in a similar dilemma recently - except the age gap in my case was 32 years. I couldn't believe how quickly I fell for this beautiful young woman or that she would want to be with me. One of the most erotic experiences we had was her cuddled up to me in her bed, falling asleep and lightly snoring on my chest. Sex isn't always the most important thing - it's letting someone see your flaws and weaknesses and they still want to be with you. I admit that I fell for her hard. But I was stupid and convinced myself that the age gap was too much, and I broke it off. You can imagine how much this chapter really spoke to me. I can't tell you what to write - after all, it's your story and you are the only one that truly has to be happy with it. But I know what I personally hope will happen - that he realizes that age is meaningless when it comes to love. Yes, he's 20 years older, but at 38, he needs to come to the conclusion that they could still have 50 or 60 more years together. And no matter how careful they have been to keep their relationship a secret, Paige is no dummy - she has to have an idea what's going on - and she's smart enough to see her dad is happy with Randi - and when she sees how unhappy he's going to be in the next few days, she has to tell him he's an idiot that she's okay with him being in love (and lust). I don't know how much more you plan to add to this, but please, you have lots of fans that truly care about this story - and we need a happy ending.
by
Anonymous02/18/16
Keep going. Very enjoyable.
Don't stop now. Several plot threads are interesting.
Sorry I haven't voted on all the chapters but I've just sat down and read from 1 to 20 in one go! Really enjoying it and waiting to see where it goes from here, thank you! :)
Ian
.. this one was so hard to write. Its also hard to read! The emotions of this chapter are gut wrenching. Enjoyed it very much. Anxiously awaiting he next chapter. BRAVO! I've had a similar relationship with my daughters group of friends & teammates (volleyball & softball teammates - strictly platonic of course) but they are all like my 'other' daughters. It really helps understand the way young women think & feel. I think that's why my daughter & I always got along so well.
I'm not very eloquent but there are 2 people in this story in love. Being a hopeless romantic, I just need closure above all but yearn for the romantic.....
by
Anonymous02/19/16
I never posted a comment before but...
After being on this site for over 6 years, you're the first author who I have written to. As selfish as this sounds, I hope that even if there is only one reader, you keep writing. And I know for sure you will have at least one reader. So keep up the amazing work.
by
Anonymous02/20/16
feedback is -required- here
Lying here sick in bed, I've just read this entire series start to finish (so far).
You are great writer who knows character development, plot, and writing.
Please keep going.
Thx.
by
Anonymous02/20/16
my first comment
I've never commented on any story previously, but your series is one of the best that I've seen, and if a few negative cooments kept you down for that long, then I wanted to make sure the positive side was well represented. Please continue, and don't keep us waiting too long.
by
Anonymous02/20/16
Let the haters hate
You write brilliantly and are telling a wonderful story, easily one of the best on Literotica! Please continue writing for all of your fans!
Yeah, not to be a hater, but great huge swaths of this tale are eminently skippable. You need to draft this, cut the waffle and stick to the point. Intentionally drawing the plot and interactions out between the two leads just becomes boring after about eleven chapters. Skipping to chapter twenty proved to me that I did not miss anything vital to either the development of the characters, or the overall plot you have established. All in all, it is a good idea, but you lack serious drafting and editing skills.
You can't please everybody, but you sure pleased me!
I just finished reading chapters 1-20 and I love the story. It takes great writing, interesting characters and a very good plot for me to read a 20+ chapter story in one go. Most lose me around chapter 5. However, each chapter of Neighborhood Dad kept me wanting to see what's coming next. Good work. I'm really look forward to the remaining chapters.
by
Anonymous02/22/16
keep writing
a good story i'm looking forward to the rest of it.
Great story - just read all chapters so far - keep it up!
by
Anonymous08/10/16
This really is a great story and I know most people are only looking for a quick spank which this is not. Don't let the impatient ruin such a creation.
by
Anonymous11/23/16
Gold
I read all the available chapters thus far but the conversation/argument in this chapter is just solid gold. Better written than many movie lines I've seen and I kinda wish this entire series was a movie or mini-series I could watch. Amazing work. Please continue on.
English
Something to think about.
The preface of the last chapter you mentioned getting negative comments and it made it difficult for you to write. Sure, it feels good to to get positive feedback. Everybody likes to have their efforts appreciated. BUT, and this is important, at the end of the day, the only person that needs to be happy with your work is you. Read the comments both good and bad, positive and negative. Look at them realistically. Maybe discuss them with people that know what you write and get their opinion of the comments. If it makes sense, use the comments to improve your work IF IT WORKS FOR YOU!
Can't say as I have been in your shoes because, while I also write, I have yet to post my own stories here. Maybe I should take my own advice?
Anyway, good luck and keep em coming.
Thank you
This is hot and heavy emotional stuff. I am not surprised that it took you a long time to write. But most importantly the care you took over the construction shines through.
I hope that you will feel encouraged to continue the story now.
Best Wishes
Tom D
Please keep writing
I have over 90 stories, mostly in the form of outlines. The effort and will to finish it is a big leap for me. In your case, you have written these stories and crossed a kind of Rubicon. I think that's a wonderful achievement. Neighborhood Dad is a great story and I wish I could write something that comes even 10% close to it. It is easy to criticize, especially when people are not opening themselves to it. Honestly, like someone else commented, read them objectively, categorize the ones that simply lash out as "worthless" and move on. Keep writing. It's a craft that takes effort and skill to hone. I'm looking forward to more from you. Lots more!
Great story, and I'm happy with the quick updates.
I'm probably the only one that hopes he doesn't hook up with Autumn or her mom.
They need to go to their own prom
I see why you had problems with this chapter. How to get her to tell him he needed random sex to make their relationship stronger is always a tough slough. To repair what he's trying to break could be as simple as him taking her out for an elegant evening of dining and dancing.
Thanks for continuing this great story.
Change
This is a truly excellent series. A terrific set up for erotic lit, plus I'm a big hoops fan and love the basketball aspect. At this point in your story trajectory: be careful! There's a number of aspects to this warning. I'll just lay them out in no particular order; they aren't necessarily related to each other, but OTOH, they aren't necessarily unrelated:
1. This is Lit Erotica, not Lit Plumbing the Depths of the Emotional Complexities of Intergenerational Sexual Relationships. As long as you don't get hung up on emotional complexities and just use them to set up the Erotica, you should be OK.
2. Don't believe everything you think. When it comes to human emotions, a good starting point is: Don't believe *ANYTHING* you think.
3. Human sexual relationships boil down to one simple binary statement determined by evolutionary biology: Men want NUbility; women want STAbility. A few, principally wealthy men, get a lot of what they want. Many get some of it, for a generally short interval.
4. Adjusting to change, which is to say: *loss* is the most essential skill for navigating life.
Good chapter, finally dealing, or trying to deal with the reality of twenty years of age difference. I have no doubt they love each other, but his idea of love is different than hers, because of experience. I thought you did a good job on the discussion, the confrontation, even to where Paige told them they were getting loud and I suspect she did hear some of what was said. Very interested to see where the next chapter leads us, the readers.
I suspect there are a lot of middle aged to older males on here thinking about what it would be like to have an eighteen year old young woman in love with us. Thinking about the age gap, getting older, about performing, about societies disapproval. Underneath the euphoria of love and sex, there is fear and that is a large part of the story now.
drat..just as
I get totally hooked, I run out of chapters...arghhhhhh! Ok...I can tap toes for a bit...a short bit mind you...
This crap is still being written? I thought this story was flushed down the toilet where it belongs.
HEY ANNONY you ass wipe, it's chapter 20!!! And you read every fucking word
Eat shit you fag, you fucking know you love these stories and so does everyone else on here. I gave this a 5 to offset your retarded 1 vote!!!
Enjoyable
There will always be bits you think are not quite right, but do not dwell on them for too long. Provided the story runs as you want it to then all is good enough.
I am really enjoying the story and look for the next chapter.
My only complaint would be it is too short. I do realise it can get too wordy if an idea is stretched too far, but you could have something else running in the same chapter. Perhaps build up Paige's life more with her boyfriend as a secondary plot.
I really enjoy the story line, and the execution. Please don't keep us waiting to long for the next chapter. :-)
Great Story, interesting sex and excellent character development
I started reading this for the obvious reason, but by chapter 2 I was interested in the characters and the story line and the struggles the dad was having. Having played HS basketball, that helped to - usually sports comments fall flat and obviously phony - yours were right on. Don't think I have ever read a 20 chapter story on this site before, but I couldn't stop reading this one.
Every writer gets reviews from low-lifes, but it is easy understand their limited view from their comments.
I try to read 100 books a year of all types (have only made it twice) so I can comment that you have talent as a writer/author. Whether it is soft porn or more traditional story lines, I would really hate to see you stop writing; I think you have the mind-set that can contribute to the literary marketplace.
First ever comment
I have never commented on a story on Literotica. Decided to do so because this is just some fine piece of writing. The argument in this chapter was amazing, and the whole story just runs along so well. I wouldn't get concerned about the drop in readership, though. Think about it - the whole way Literotica works is like a TV series, I have started many that I really enjoyed but for one or other reason I drop them. That's because I cannot do once a week, and thousands of people prefer reading a whole book at once. I have just read all your chapters in one day, but this time I will read for all the next chapters.
A necessary part well done
This was a necessary part of the story line, difficult to craft but well executed,
Glad you're back to the story
When I found this series a couple of years ago, I really enjoyed it. I know a lot of people get really bitchy in their comments if you don't fill every paragraph with graphic descriptions of kinky sex. Ignore them. I was incredibly happy to find that you had gotten over your writer's block and resumed the story. And I find the story to be totally believable - I found myself in a similar dilemma recently - except the age gap in my case was 32 years. I couldn't believe how quickly I fell for this beautiful young woman or that she would want to be with me. One of the most erotic experiences we had was her cuddled up to me in her bed, falling asleep and lightly snoring on my chest. Sex isn't always the most important thing - it's letting someone see your flaws and weaknesses and they still want to be with you. I admit that I fell for her hard. But I was stupid and convinced myself that the age gap was too much, and I broke it off. You can imagine how much this chapter really spoke to me. I can't tell you what to write - after all, it's your story and you are the only one that truly has to be happy with it. But I know what I personally hope will happen - that he realizes that age is meaningless when it comes to love. Yes, he's 20 years older, but at 38, he needs to come to the conclusion that they could still have 50 or 60 more years together. And no matter how careful they have been to keep their relationship a secret, Paige is no dummy - she has to have an idea what's going on - and she's smart enough to see her dad is happy with Randi - and when she sees how unhappy he's going to be in the next few days, she has to tell him he's an idiot that she's okay with him being in love (and lust). I don't know how much more you plan to add to this, but please, you have lots of fans that truly care about this story - and we need a happy ending.
Keep going. Very enjoyable.
Don't stop now. Several plot threads are interesting.
Great story!
Sorry I haven't voted on all the chapters but I've just sat down and read from 1 to 20 in one go! Really enjoying it and waiting to see where it goes from here, thank you! :)
Ian
I can see why...
.. this one was so hard to write. Its also hard to read! The emotions of this chapter are gut wrenching. Enjoyed it very much. Anxiously awaiting he next chapter. BRAVO! I've had a similar relationship with my daughters group of friends & teammates (volleyball & softball teammates - strictly platonic of course) but they are all like my 'other' daughters. It really helps understand the way young women think & feel. I think that's why my daughter & I always got along so well.
A necessary part, BUT...
even though it is well written and presented you need to continue on.....
Upping the emotion!
It's got very interesting. Will the Coach break cover and take Randi to the Prom and go for broke or just wimp off?
Welcome back!
Great to see some updates from you - tough scene to get right, no wonder it was tough to write!
Please don't stop now
You're doing a great job of character development, and I am really enjoying your story. Looking forward to reading more.
Don't you dare stop now...
I'm not very eloquent but there are 2 people in this story in love. Being a hopeless romantic, I just need closure above all but yearn for the romantic.....
I never posted a comment before but...
After being on this site for over 6 years, you're the first author who I have written to. As selfish as this sounds, I hope that even if there is only one reader, you keep writing. And I know for sure you will have at least one reader. So keep up the amazing work.
feedback is -required- here
Lying here sick in bed, I've just read this entire series start to finish (so far).
You are great writer who knows character development, plot, and writing.
Please keep going.
Thx.
my first comment
I've never commented on any story previously, but your series is one of the best that I've seen, and if a few negative cooments kept you down for that long, then I wanted to make sure the positive side was well represented. Please continue, and don't keep us waiting too long.
Let the haters hate
You write brilliantly and are telling a wonderful story, easily one of the best on Literotica! Please continue writing for all of your fans!
Yeah....
Yeah, not to be a hater, but great huge swaths of this tale are eminently skippable. You need to draft this, cut the waffle and stick to the point. Intentionally drawing the plot and interactions out between the two leads just becomes boring after about eleven chapters. Skipping to chapter twenty proved to me that I did not miss anything vital to either the development of the characters, or the overall plot you have established. All in all, it is a good idea, but you lack serious drafting and editing skills.
You can't please everybody, but you sure pleased me!
I just finished reading chapters 1-20 and I love the story. It takes great writing, interesting characters and a very good plot for me to read a 20+ chapter story in one go. Most lose me around chapter 5. However, each chapter of Neighborhood Dad kept me wanting to see what's coming next. Good work. I'm really look forward to the remaining chapters.
keep writing
a good story i'm looking forward to the rest of it.
Keep going
Please continue the story...
Don't stop-- continue
Getting to the "quick". Continue!!
loving this
Great story - just read all chapters so far - keep it up!
This really is a great story and I know most people are only looking for a quick spank which this is not. Don't let the impatient ruin such a creation.
Gold
I read all the available chapters thus far but the conversation/argument in this chapter is just solid gold. Better written than many movie lines I've seen and I kinda wish this entire series was a movie or mini-series I could watch. Amazing work. Please continue on.
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