The Warlock Pt. 01

My thoughts, and some advice

First off:
"I am going to try releasing an episode a week if people seem to want to read it. Hopefully it is entertaining to some."

Let's see, now....
"YES," and, um... "YES," respectively.

Secondly:
You don't (necessarily) need to separate the pages up into chapters the way you have -- scene breaks work just fine, actually (some kind of line drawn across the page, which may or may not include ASCII art).

Thirdly:
You get major points for actually having proper grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. Few things will turn-away as many people as having a story which hasn't been proofread. (So thank you, seriously.)

Fourth:
Don't be afraid of making longer posts. I know I can't speak for everyone, but there are quite a few readers on here who tend to prefer longer stories. I myself often like my stories to be at least 4 pages per chapter (because I'm such a fast reader, but also because that way I can actually lose myself in the reading). Hell, some writers on here -- not many, mind you, (relative to overall postings), but some -- will regularly post chapters upwards of 10 Lit. pages in length. For reference, (I did the calculation myself), *one* page on Lit. is ~6 pages in Microsoft Word. The length is deceptive.


Other than that, I'm quite interested to see where the story heads, mostly because hey, Warlock.

Hopefully....

You have as much fun writing it as the storyline promises to be while reading it.
Soooo many possibilities. Lol
Good luck

Brilliant!

It's a nice concept, and it seems to be leading up well. A nice intro, and decent execution overall. Nowhere near production quality, but what more can you get from a rough raft. Definitely looking forward to seeing more from you. And if you need someone to bounce ideas off or proofreading or whatever, contact me.

I am found wanting...

Which is to say I'm really enjoying the story and disappointed when I got to the end of this chapter. Please don't disappoint further and continue the series!

I'm with stbrn348

It was well said. I hope you enjoy writing as much as we will love devouring your story.

Downright Silly

But a lot of fun!

a very creative opening gambit

so many possibilities, so many directions, so many options.
limited only by the imagination of our writer.

lead on.
I am curious to see where we are going

So it looks like (as with most warlocks we see on this site) he is a a-hole but not 100% a dick ?

Enjoyed it... Good to see a main character not mired in self doubt/guilt/moral crap.

Wait, What!!!

"I enchanted the diamonds with small amounts of holy energy to really make it sting." O.o
Warlocks don't use holy energy. LOL XD It would have made a lot more sense for him to have killed someone and taken the diamonds that were already enchanted with holy energy and then just weaken it a little. A warlock using holy skills? What's next, are we going to see a cleric riding a fire spitting demon saying "get me closer, I want to hit them with my wand!"? XD Aside from a few things, not a bad story, you could have done a lot worse like many others that write stories about witches, warlocks and wizards and get them all completely wrong. Harry Potter *cough* *cough*. >_>

Okay. I'm on board for chapter two.

This was pretty damn amusing. Good call on not info-dumping more than necessary. Dole it out as you go. And have fun with it. Remember, it's YOUR story, no one else's.

Very nice touch with the "models" set-up, btw. I thought that might be a deal-breaker for me when he first offered models, but the reveal was gold. Plus I like how even Xan has some standards.

yeah same here

got to agree with the peps down bellow
rather enjoying the story and build up, enjoy the satire humour
JC
please all check out
PATH OF THE NECROMANCER
I am going to be continuing the series and need as much support and input as possible for the massiv eundertaking
ta bitches ! :D

nope

I didn't like Martin very much, too talkative and arrogant for my taste; sleazy, maybe, right when he introduced himself to Chloe and told her of his intention. Also, the fight scene at the start had a little too much detail, a barrage of magical terms crammed into clunky sentences that made the fight awkward.
Fortunately, I remembered Lien_Geller's 'The Warlock' story i read months ago (found at the similar stories panel) which for me was more interesting, character-wise and on the approach of the supernatural and paranormal.

If you're gonna be a dick...

...be a BIG one!" As a friend of mine once told his superior officer, "You sir, are a dick, but I applaud your ability to be a dick, so completely, so effortlessly and and in such a grand fashion, that I actually respect your ability to be a dick."

Marty, he's a dick.