Electric Touch

Nice Idea~

Love the idea, the story had all the parts, story line, mystique, sex, intrigue. Shall there be a part two?

GREAT STORY

I loved it. I hope you will write about the fun and games the four of you have.

The start of something good!

This story looks like the begining of something good.

A long way from perfection

Predictable and flat. No mystery, no tension. Still, the writing is decent.

Master Moron is more apt

This story was ok, nothing special, until Weiner boy made her call him Master. Any moron who needs to be called Master, isn't one, he's just a pathetic little boy. It ruined the story, in my opinion.

great

keep up the good stories

gaaaaay

You should take creative writing classes of some sort. There was no substance in this, at all.

naive like punk

You have an innocence that makes the story work.

Good story. Ive seen your other stuff, also good. My only critic is that there are no sequels

Mind control is a fun thing to play with, and you do it quite well


Keep it up :)

SAME OLD SHIT AS A HUNDRED JUST LIKE THIS

I AGREE THAT YOU SHOULD TAKE WRITING CLASSES.