All Comments on 'Sister Leaves Husband For Brother'

by Tomray10

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  • 15 Comments
trim_beard2trim_beard2over 18 years ago
You really need grammer lessons and spelling

The story was interesting with some good erotic writing but you do require help with grammer, sentence structure and spelling.

Dar_JisboDar_Jisboover 16 years ago
Good effort

Pretty well written, nice buildup. As for the person who commented before about spelling... ever hear a saying about people living in glass houses and what they shouldn't do? It's grammAR, not grammER... and you criticized the *author* for a misspelling or two? Pot calling kettle black...

oldwayneoldwayneabout 16 years ago
Editing Would Help...but it was still GREAT!

I thought it was a really good sibling incest tale. Thanks for writing it, and please ignore those who think they are literary critics.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
we kissed deeply again as we broke our lips.

That must have hurt like hell!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
rewrite

this was a first draft only and never should have been posted in this condition. get a good editor and do it properly.

SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND EITHER DO IT RIGHT OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL NOW EITHER REWRITE IT OR REMOVE IT

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Good Show but Needs editing!

This was a Good story and it demonstrates a promise of a good story teller in the making. But sadly, it was marred by bad punctuation, occasional bad spellings and some grammar mistakes. It does read like a first draft, as some have pointed out.

Quite frankly, anyone with an education and pride in their work would have found it embarrassing to have let this rough draft be published.

Please fix your mistakes or have someone proof read your work before reporting. I look forward to reading a revised manuscript and further works of yours!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
.

Could not believe? Six times? Either you believe it or not.

lol

Otherwise, not too bad, but it seems like a rough draft more than anything. No dialog either.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
a great story, and it goes to show...

that a brotherly cock is better than a stranger's. For a boy there's nothing like blowing his brotherly balls up his sister's adorable little coochie. Same for a sister.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Do you read?

Do you read your own stories? PLEASE get someone to proofread and correct grammar and sentence structure.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Enjoyed

Where is chapter two?

George in Omaha

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Proof read, proof read, proof read

Your story and style are ok BUUUT, you must have fallen asleep during basic English classes in elementary and high school. Your story is so full of technical errors that it becomes difficult to enjoy. It's packed with run on sentences, combined sentences, punctuation errors, and incorrect words ( to instead of too/ starred instead of stared) etc. etc. Get someone who knows proper English to proof read and correct the errors without changing your writing style and your stories will be much more enjoyable to read.

john1069john1069over 5 years ago
BAD ENGLISH GRAMMAR

ENOUGH SAID...YOUR POOR WRITING MADE THIS UNENJOYABLE TO SAY THE LEAST...but I'll give you an E for effort...

BTW, ever heard of spell check???

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Quit In The Middle

I tried to read through the story, but alas, had to bail due to very poor grammar.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago
Kind of sweet

I want more.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

Lovely little story!! You should continue it

Anonymous
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