It has all the elements to a good one but you left out too many details. Is Monique tall, medium or short? Blond, brunette or red haired? Is the Dr tall or medium height and is his skin coal black or chocolate color? How long have you had the fetish for cum licking and what triggered this desire? Also the details you did provide were mostly cliched from 2 dozen other stories. "10 inch cock as thick as your wrist". "I can't believe it fits in her and I wonder if she will ever feel my cock again." The line of the story works fine. It just needs some character development.
by
Anonymous02/21/16
Does this couple live in Baltimore?
Ben Carson's wife isn't going to be real happy when she finds out what her husband has been up to. This should definitely end his presidential run.
by
Anonymous02/21/16
Idiot!
No comment!
by
Anonymous02/21/16
Too Mechanical
I generally like this type of story, but this was a little too 'pat', a little too mechanical. More complexity and nuance would be nice.
Husbands love it when we are attentive to their needs, go girl. xoxoxoxo Annette
by
Anonymous02/22/16
Great story and well written
It is fun to write these style of stories - and it certainly is a turn on. Nothing is easy to write, but your the grammar, spelling, sentence organization, plot, and story line are well constructed and very straight forward. Some people will like it, some people (I assume they are people) will hate it. But mechanically it is well done and it was a fun ride. More would be appreciated.
His wife would make a great loan shark salesperson. ! She gets what she wants with no recriminations, by making her hubby think she is doing it for his benefit. She sure is a Loving Wife. But I guess he has signed up for her to enjoy as much cock as she wants for the rest of their lives. B ut a nice short story to help us gals to work off our stress and frustrations with our vibs buzzing.
Lesson of this story: Lust can blind a man...He is so blind that he can't see that his wife lead him to where she wanted...Where is the Love in this story? Nowhere...1*
by
Anonymous02/23/16
Greatstory, vert hott
Great story very hott, love the interacial aspect and especially the fresh cream pie
by
Anonymous04/02/16
Black cream pie lunch !
Nothing better than a wife that shares her pussy with others ! Cream pie lunch is many a horny husband wish 4DE2to get , especially when it comes from a hot black stud !!! Great story !!!
English
Decent story
It has all the elements to a good one but you left out too many details. Is Monique tall, medium or short? Blond, brunette or red haired? Is the Dr tall or medium height and is his skin coal black or chocolate color? How long have you had the fetish for cum licking and what triggered this desire? Also the details you did provide were mostly cliched from 2 dozen other stories. "10 inch cock as thick as your wrist". "I can't believe it fits in her and I wonder if she will ever feel my cock again." The line of the story works fine. It just needs some character development.
Does this couple live in Baltimore?
Ben Carson's wife isn't going to be real happy when she finds out what her husband has been up to. This should definitely end his presidential run.
Idiot!
No comment!
Too Mechanical
I generally like this type of story, but this was a little too 'pat', a little too mechanical. More complexity and nuance would be nice.
You sure this ain't Bareback Obama, he always working it hard in the white ho's
mainly in the oval orifice, or so im told
Wonderful birthday
Husbands love it when we are attentive to their needs, go girl. xoxoxoxo Annette
Great story and well written
It is fun to write these style of stories - and it certainly is a turn on. Nothing is easy to write, but your the grammar, spelling, sentence organization, plot, and story line are well constructed and very straight forward. Some people will like it, some people (I assume they are people) will hate it. But mechanically it is well done and it was a fun ride. More would be appreciated.
Sucker !
His wife would make a great loan shark salesperson. ! She gets what she wants with no recriminations, by making her hubby think she is doing it for his benefit. She sure is a Loving Wife. But I guess he has signed up for her to enjoy as much cock as she wants for the rest of their lives. B ut a nice short story to help us gals to work off our stress and frustrations with our vibs buzzing.
Lesson of this story...
Lesson of this story: Lust can blind a man...He is so blind that he can't see that his wife lead him to where she wanted...Where is the Love in this story? Nowhere...1*
Greatstory, vert hott
Great story very hott, love the interacial aspect and especially the fresh cream pie
Black cream pie lunch !
Nothing better than a wife that shares her pussy with others ! Cream pie lunch is many a horny husband wish 4DE2to get , especially when it comes from a hot black stud !!! Great story !!!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Birthday Present or
More submissions by rocketman60.