The Ultimate Smother

I don't think I found this at all erotic (2 stars), but added another 2 stars for originality.

Don't know how to feel about this...

excellent

cool imagination

I like the story but i need more flesh on it. Was he a bad boyfriend? What did she use? Why did she go to so drastic a means to do this to him? Why just smothering? 10 years? She would want sex at some time. What about his friends and family? Need more flesh.

Amazing

I though this was amazing. Exactly the type of thing I've fantasised about. I would love if you wrote more, maybe some farting and peeing? Maybe she has sex while he's inside her? That would be amazing

Too short

The cruelty is nice, but it could be fleshed out more. Each act of cruelty looses its significance because it does not last but for a mere sentence. The personality utterly depends upon the sum of its parts, and with transitions as nonexistent as these, it gets boring quick: each act is just another part of going through the motions.

If there were a paragraph for each act, it would be much nicer.

I will say that I don't want more details about why, in fact the cruelty should not even be deserved. Thus it is good the story does not mention the motivation.

Overall, the story is just too short for its own good.